'DOUBLE SAD' MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS NEWS FOR THE FA YOUTH CUP & NORTHUMBERLAND SENIOR CUP DRAWS

Updated '2:40 pm bells' Wednesday 21st December 2011

IT'S WATFORD @ ST JAMES' IN THE NEXT ROOND!


The draw for the fourth roond of the FA Youth Cup waz made @ 'high noon bells' @ Wembley last Friday---and I have to tell yoo that we have been drawn @ HOME to Watford, the team we beat in the 1985 Youth Cup final! (a side that included 'Gazza') 
*It iz nuw conformed that the tie will tek place on Thorsday 19th January 2012 @ St James' Park, kick off '7 bells'

The full draw waz az follows:

Bolton v Soothampton
Charlton v Leicester
Cardiff v Stevenage or Spors
QPR v Everton
Readin' v WBA
Stoke v Brentford
Bornley v Ipswich
Blackborn v Bristol R or Coventry
Swindon v Man C
Forest v Wigan
Norwich v Chelsea
Portsmooth v Swanzee
Man U v Derby
THE TOON v Watford
WHU v Brighton
Peterboro' v Fulham

(ties to be played by Saturday 21st January 2012)

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' 'dream' of a trip to Brighton's new groond will have to be put on hold 'til the next roond at least (the anly groond we havvent been te, of teams left in the competition!)



The draw for the Northumberland Senior Cup  semi finals meeenwhile took place on Saturday and disappointingly---(again!)----we didn't get Team Northumbria away az was hoped, (az we havvent been there eetha!) but instead drew the canines of Bedlington @ home, while Team Northumbria drew Newcastle Benfield at their Coach Lane base! (there's aalways next season---isnt there!?
(both ties to be played by 2nd April 2012)

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TEEEM NORTHUMBRIA AWAY? ---NO GO!

JACKSON JIVER TICKETS ON SALE

Posted '2:30 pm bells' Tuesday 20th December 2011

"THE TOON ARE HERE ON SATURDAY 21st JANUARY!"

Tickets for wor forthcomin' away game against 'The Jackson Jivers of Fulham' in January are nuw on sale to season ticket holders, priced @ £35 for big kids, £25 for zimmerframeites and £15 for sprogs. (25 loyalty points til Thorsday)

Wor sold oot allocations for both Bolton on Boxin' Day and Liverpool on the 30th of this month are conformed az 4,000 for The Reebok and 2,000 for Anfield.

"TWENTY THOOSAND THANKYOOS!"

Posted '9:35 am bells' Tuesday 19th December 2011

"THE GEORDIE TIMES IZ A
NO NONSENSE, NONSENSE BLOG!"
"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER---WHEY AYE MAAN!"

The Geordie Times haz just received it's 20,000th 'hit this week!

This 'historic event' actually took place on Saturday mornin' and we thank each and every one of yoo for your support.
One of wor reeders, namely, 'Alex of St George' said to me last week that it was a 'NONSENSE' website and I reeely must take him to task ower this, and I told him that we were in fact a 'NO NONSENSE, NONSENSE WEBSITE', az EVERYTHIN' written is 100% TRUE! az wor friend from Mars can verify! (see above!)
("ER!"---or shud that be a 'NONSENSE, NO NONSENSE WEBSITE???")

Of the 20,000 pageviews in total, aroond 11,000 are from the UK and an amazin' 9,000! are from the rest of the world (and beyond!)

At the start of the year wor 'target' waz to get 10,000 hits by Xmas. This target waz actually achieved on 30th June and to get double that number of pageviews before Santa comes doon the chimneee iz phonominal!

115 countries have now 'logged in' and a very special welcome to wor latest viewers!

"Hello! Bahrain!"----"Hello! Liberia!"----"Hello! Guernsey!"----"Hello! Bahamas!"

THE TOON 0 THE SWAN LAKERS 0

Posted '9:00 pm bells' Saturday 17th December 2011

"ELEVEN IN HEAVEN!"

A goalless draa was the ootcome of todays encoonta @ St James' Park where Swanzee were the visitors.
An East Stand tribute to wor former number 11 Gary Speed waz witnessed by his family on the pitch before the game began and Welsh anthem 'Bread of Heaven' waz sang by a tenor on the pitch 

51,767 were present inside St James' (which incloooded aroond aboot 1,800 Swanzee fans, but there waz ne sign of their mascot 'Cedric The Swan'?) (see below!)

The ref had obviousleee forgot his yellow cards in the forst half az at least three of the visitin' team shud have been booked for dodgy tackles, but the man in 'black n blue' wud have 'non of it'!

In total we had 17 shots  on the visitors goal, (includin' 3 which hit the woodwork!) compared to their 3 off target efforts, but blatant time wastin' ensured that the Welshmen went yem with their FIFTH! goalless draw of the season so far (ne wonder that 'Cedric' neva torned up!)

The Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge reached the halfway point when we visited 'Eclipse' @ preciseleee '1:41 pm bells' to record wor 50th boozer! (more to follow on this later!---much!----later!)

THE TOON v THE SWAN LAKERS---TODAY

Updated '10:30 am bells' Saturday 17th December 2011

'CEDRIC THE SWAN' IN FULL FLIGHT!
----"IT DOESNT GET MUCH WORSE THAN THIS FOLKS!"

This afternoon we welcome Swanzee to St James' Park for wot will be an historic day az (see next story below) they will be makin' the langest ever road jorney in top flight history with a roond trip of 717 miles from sooth Wales.
Amongt their travellin' fans will be a 'famous Welsh celebrity? (NO!---NOT Tom Jones or Charlotte Church!) "ER!"----I meen of course 'Cedric the Swan' who iz the club's iconic? mascot (god help them!)
We have absolutleee ne idea wetha Cedric iz flyin' up under 'hiz own steam' or 'slummin it on the supporters bus!???'

Anyway!---enough of that!---the team news for us looks a bit more promisin' and (hopefully!) 'Fab' Coloccini and Mike Williamson will be part of wor defence today (we need them afta wot happened @ Norwich last week!) and the retorn of midfielder Cheick Tiote? and a 50,000 crowd iz antisipated for the third home game in a row.

'THE GEORDIE TIMES' 100 PUB CRAWL CHALLENGE

The 100 pub crawl challenge continues unabated @ 'high noon bells' in 'The Centurion'  which iz reet next to the Central Station. Why not join us for a 'lunchtime liquid' in wot will be 'liquid lubrication location' number 47 on the list!

GARY SPEED REMEMBERED

17 members of Gary Speed's family are expected to attend todays match and fans in the East Stand will hold up cards depictin' Gary's number 11 shirt he wore when he played for us.

"GARY!---WE WILL REMEMBER YOU!---R.I.P!"

THE TOON v THE SWAN LAKERS---HISTORY IN THE MAKIN'!

Posted '10:15 am bells' Saturday 17th December 2011

History will be made today when 'The Swan Lakers' make their forst ever Premya Leegue visit to St James' Park, for this will be the langest ever road jorney between two top flight clubs, since the Futbaall League was formed 123 years ago in 1888!

The team and some fans will ne doubt opt to fly, but most of  their fans will make the 358.5 mile record road jorney in the orly hours of today, which iz the precise distance between the two groonds.
(That's a roond trip of 717 miles!)
We have of course played 'The Swans' previously but this was in the Championship and the aad 2nd Division

The previous record was between worsels and Pompey which iz 345.5 miles from groond to groond. (Soothampton. incidentleee iz 331.8 miles distant!)

Plymouth of course is forther away again at 408.1 miles, but they have NEVA played in the top flight before! (Er!---the way things are gannin, they'll be playin' Gatesheed next season in the Conference!)

SMB 'BRAIN-DEAD-DUCK-EGGS'!-----ON TOUR!

Posted '4:15 pm bells' Friday 16th December 2011

The front page (& page 5) of toneets 'Ronny-Gill' sez it aall!

mackem skipper lee blackcattemole and nicklarsehole bendtner, 'bent' some cars in a 'wreckin' spree' in the Chinatoon area of The Toon at aroond '10 pm bells' on Tuesday 6th December and have been charged with CRIMINAL DAMAGE to several vehicles in Stowell Street, which iz not far from St James' Park!
They were apparently arrested last neet at an address in NEWCASTLE!

The question iz!---WHY? do these 'brain-dead duck-eggs' feel the need to come to The Toon to vandalise cars in a wreckin' spree and WHY? do they want to live in Geordieland anyway?, when there iz plenty of perfectlee good accomodation in pennywell, mackemland???

pennywell skyline---parkhurst road!

DID YOO SPOT WOR 'DILIBRATE MISTEAK'!?

Posted '3:20 pm bells' Thorsday 15th Decenber 2011

On Tuesday 
'The Geordie Times' did a report on The Toons resorve match against Bolton Wanabeez.
At the top of the page we gave the date az 133th December 2011 and we were inindated with 'e mails' tellin' us so! ("Whey!---ONE!---anyway!")

This waz a dilibrite mistayk on wor part to try and catch yoo oot!------Az we aall naa there are anly 131 days in December!----WELL SPOTTED!

THE TOON RESORVES 1---'NE WHERE NEAR BOLTON', WANDERERS RESORVES 1

Posted '11:45 pm bells' Tuesday 133th December 2011

More than eight hours! afta the event 'The Geordie Times' can tell yoo that wor 'second string' drew  'one's a piece' with NWNB Wanderers ('see header') this afternoon @ Darsley Park in the behind closed doors Premier Resorve League game.

The game was played in a gale force wind with sleet and rain comin' doon incessantleee, so it's just az well that we wernt there!---like!

However!-- wor faithful carrier pigeon WAS THERE!---and he haz flown us in this 'special' match report he compiled, az he flew above the action! (whilst gettin' 'knocked off course' on several occasions due to the gales!) 

 MATCH REPORT SPECIAL!

The Toon took the lead in the nineth  minute when Dan Taylor heeded in from a few yards oot aafta fine work from Sam Adjei who crossed a great baall to him.

Halfway through the forst half the skies blackened and the sleet came doon, accompanied by a bitin' wind which made the conditions very difficult indeed (especially for wor pigeon!)

We tried to double wor lead in the second half, but to ne avail, and this was punished just six minutes from the end when Wanderers levelled things through O'Halloran who fired in from close range and the match ended 'aall square'

Divvint forget!---'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo the latest NUFC scores---second hand--first!

FA CUP TICKET and RESORVE NEWS

Posted '7:00 am bells' Tuesday 13th December 2011

Ticket news for wor forthcomin' game against The Tandoori Takeaway Rovers of Blackburn has been brought to us by 'pigeon post'.
Level 7 will NOT be open and fans in theeze section (includin' 'us'!) will have to move somewhere else in the groond as a low crowd is (obviously) antisipated by NUFC.

The lower sections haad 36,000 and az the visitors are expected to bring a 'motorcycle and sidecar load' of fans to the game, they will aalso have to be accommodated somewhere else az well! (probably the away dugoots!)

Ticket prices are a reasonable twenty quid for most sections and twenty five quid for the 'executive areas' like 'The Platinum Club', etc. Zimmerframeites, meeenwhile, are to be charged fifteen quid and sprogs 'a Lady Godiva' to get in!

Season ticket holders have until Thorsday neet to claim their tickets.

In otha news, the resorves play Bolton at Benton this afternoon and as seems to be the norm theeze days, NO fans will be allowed in---so divvint botha tornin' up coz yi WONT GET IN!

'Match report' from 'The Geordie Times' faithful 'carrier pigeon' will follow later toneet (he's gannih fly ower the groond at regular intervals!)