SHEEPHEADS MATCH REPORT---APOLOGY!

Posted '9:30 am bells' Friday 5th August 2011

Aa said last week that aa would post the full Almere  
City
'sick ground-hoppers' match report from Holland this week, but unfortunately because of work commitments (aa didnt finish til one this mornin' and have to gan back in at dinnertime!) it wont now appear til next week, as aa divvint have the time to de it at the moment.  GROVELLIN APOLOGEEEEZ!

"BLONDIE IS BLOTTO!"

Posted '9:30 am bells' Thorsday 4th August 2011

"GEORDIE TIMES WORLD EXCLUSIVE!"

"ZZZzzz!!!---MATCH?---WOT MATCH?????"

'The Geordie Times' has just recieved this 
'sensat-ional' photo from America of a Toon fan knaan as 'Blondie' who was foond rather intoxicated ootside a 'drinkin den' after an 'aall day bender' in downtown Orlando on the day of 'The Toons' 1-0 defeat to Orlando City in wor tour of the USA the other week!
He'd downed at least two gallons! of the various strong Florida brews as wor 'exclusive' photo clearly shows!.

Special thanx to wor 'undercover' paparazzi reporter with his zoom lens camera, who was on the scene within three hours!---REMEMBER!---yoo saw the picture forst in 'The Geordie Times'! and ne where else! (more than two weeks after the event!)

(Stick to 'broon ale'---mate!)

THE HEEDBANGERS 1 TOON XI 3

Posted '9:00 am bells' Wednesday 3rd August 2011
  'The Toon' side of the bridge!<<<>>>'The Heed' side of the bridge!

Last neet 'The Toon sent a stronger team than invisaged 'across the waata' to play the 'Heedbangers' of Gatesheed in 'The Tyne Bridge derby' (both clubs play within a mile of this iconic Geordie symbol!)

Yet again The Toon torned oot in their new orange change strip, but it was 'The Heed' who took the lead when former Toon player Chris Moore was brought doon in the box in the 9th minute and Kyle Nix beat Steve Harper in wor goal from the resultin' spot kick.
Their lead didn't last lang however and just 4 mins later a Michael Richardson cross was met by Sammy Ameobi's heed to level the score.

We then took the lead through an own goal from James Curtis, who (unfortuanately for him!) sliced the baall home from five yards oot! 

The last goal came on the hour mark when a Ryan Taylor corner eventually fell into the path of 'Sammy Ami' and he toe poked the baall into the net for his second goal of the game

The attendance of 2,108 (1,500 Toon fans) was more than double wot I expected and three times as many as the last time we played here a year ago!?






ST JAMES' PARK to THE INTERNATIONAL STADIUM>>MINI PUB CRAAL!---ABANDONED!---DUE TO IMMINENT THUNDER STORMS!

I had planned do de sommik today that a'v never done before!----waalk to a Toon away game from St James' Park AND de a 'mini' pub craal on the way, arrivin' @ The International Stadium in good time for the kick off!
It's approximately two miles between the groonds across the Tyne (as the drunken magpie flies!) and mee startin' point was to have been 'Shearers Bar' underneath The Gallowgate End sometime yesterday afternooon, but unfortunately as looked oot mee bedroom window across the Tyne @ '2 bells' it had started to rain heavily and a thunder storm looks imminent!---mehbeez next time!

PS: Aa had to make do with a couple of 'gargels' in The Hotspur before catchin' the metro to Gatesheed with 'Dave from York' and then onward to The Schooner bar which stands near the banks o' the Tyne not tooo far from the groond! (The predicted thunder storm DIDN'T happen by the way!)

HIGH NOON 'DERBY' TICKETS ON SALE!

Posted '9:00 am bells' Tuesday 2nd August 2011

Tickets for 'the high noon' 'shootout' @ the SOS on Saturday 20th August, gan on sale today to Toon season ticket holders anly.

100 loyalty points are needed (in other words, fans who've been to 100 or more away games) to obtain a prized ticket.
Wor allocation of 2,640 is 460 doon on wor last visit here, because 'The Dibble' want a bigger segregation area between rival fans!
(Aa wonder if their allocation has been reduced accordingleee???)

The ticket office is open @ '10:00 bells' this mornin' for those of you who are lucky enough to have the 'precious points'!


QueensParkRipoff  TICKETS
The price of a ticket for wor forthcomin' Monday neet live telly game in Shepherds Bush are set at a ridiculous FIFTY QUID! (and FORTY FIVE QUID for inferior view seats!)---(ie: the ones yi cannit see the goal line from!)
That a TWENTY QUID hike from the last time we played here in May 2010!

But!---believe it or not!--we are the 'lucky ones'? as this is not the top price they will charge this season as Man U and Chelsea fans are to be charged at least SIXTY FIVE QUID! to get in! (for seats behind the goal!)

"WELCOME TO THE NEW SEASON!"

(G)ONE! JOEY BARTON!

Posted '9:20 pm bells' Monday 1st August 2011

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' (some five hours after the event!) that Joey Barton has been handed a free transfer by NUFC and is 'on his bike' so to speak!
His twitter 'rant' that he doesnt want to be in a team that is relegated again, because of non transfer activity, rings true with many Toon fans---meesel included!
So here we are!--- with less than two weeks to gan before the big Premier League kick off and we are short of yet another quality player to compete in the top flight survival race!
It could anly happen to us!----"press the self destruct button now!"

THE AALL WHITES 3 THE ORANGEMEN 2

Updated '10:40 pm bells' Sunday 31st July 2011

Today we sampled the 'delights'? of West Yorkshire in wor '2 bells' kick off 'friendly'? against Leeds @ Elland Road where 'The Toon' had a 4,000 plus followin'.

Before the game we heeded to the rundoon district of Holbeck, not far from the groond for the 'customary' pre match 'liquids', but horror upon horror!--- the forst two 'drinkin dens' we came across near Pleasant Terrace werent so 'pleasant' as wor pictures show.

However!---just up the road from these two boarded up hostelries we foond 'sanctuary' next to 'Pleasant Place' (believe it or not?) in the shape of 'The Bulls Head' and we gained entry by knockin' on the back door (as it was before openin time!) and enterin' the bar to be greeted by a large black 'n' white dog barkin' loudly!

SANCTUARY AT LAST!---THORD TIME LUCKY!

After several 'tonsil ticklin' tonics' from the friendly bar staff, we said wor goodbyes to this 'pleasant place' (sic!) and made the qwaata of an hours jaunt to Elland Road for the '2 bells' kick off.

It didn't start off well for The Toon who were wearin' their change orange strip, when in the 4th minute Fraser Forster in the Toon goal fumbled badly and dropped the baall to the delight of Kosnorbo who had the easiest of chances to tap into the empty goal in front of the travellin' fans.

Half an hour later and we were back on level torms when Steve Taylor vollied home at The Gelderd End (aka: The Don Revie Stand)

Midway through the second period a Mike Williamson error let in Lloyd Sam for Leeds to toepoke home.

In the 76th minute we were back on track when Vuckic controlled a cross from Demba Ba and fired into the net.

However!--another blunder from Fraser Forster who misjudged a cross, let in Paynter who heeded in from point blank range to seal the win for Championship side.

Me thinx that Forster has played his last game for us!

Attendance: 20,457

To sum up!----Elland Road is definately NOT! one of mee fave groonds, as aa broke mee leg here 41 years ago, on Boxin' Day 1970 when a crash barrier collased and aa was 'carted off' to St James' Hospital in Leeds (would you believe!) and aa missed the match!
(a 3-0 defeat!)---But that's anotha 'disaster day' story for the 'archives'!

Next up for the forst team---Fiorentina @ St James' Park next Saturday in wor final pre season friendly! (memo: must do better!)

SPENNYMOOR TOON 2 THE TOON RESORVES 4

Posted '9:20 pm bells' Saturday 30th July 2011

NUMBER 9 NILE RANGER (in orange) 
BLASTS HIS PENALTY HOME TO PUT THE TOON
 2-1 UP @ THE BREWERY FIELD

The Toon resorves ran oot 4-2 winners in this 'bakin' heat' encoonta @ 'The Brewery Field' today!

After a few 'liquid refreshments' in the 'Salvin Arms' in doontoon Spennymoor, it was off to the groond just alang the road, for the final 'gargels' before kick off!

Things didn't start off well for 'The Orangemen' (wor change strip, coz 'Spenny' play in black 'n' white stripes like us!) and the home side took the lead in the 40th minute through Peacock.

We levelled things in the 8th minute of the 2nd half when Brad Inman tapped in from close range.

It was 2-1 to us  4 mins later when Ryan Donaldson was hacked doon in the box and Nile 'Lone' Ranger blasted the resultin' penalty into the back of the Spenny net!

An equaliser on the hour mark brung us back doon to orth---but! a 'jinky run' by wor penalty hero saw him gan past two defenders before slottin' the baall home for the best goal of the game!

Brad Inman then got his 2nd in injury time when he fired in from close range to silence the home fans and the 3 mackem striped saddos present!

Attendance: A very healthy 1,127 includin' the 3 SMB's mentioned, plus 2 'freebees' watchin' from their bedroom windows which owerlooked the halfway line! (at least 600 Toon fans by my estimate) 

ANYMORE FOR SPENNYMOOR?

Posted '10:40 am bells' Saturday 30th July 2011

The resorves are playin' @ the 'romantically named'? 'Brewery Field' groond, Spennymoor this afternoon @ '3 bells' and aa'll post a match report later on toneet when aa (eventually!) get back.
It's three quid to get in, if yih fancy gannin'

THE CREW 0 THE TOON 3

Posted '2:15 pm bells Wednesday 27th July 2011

The Toon finally came good in their USA tour with a great 3-0 win @ The Crew Stadium, Ohio against Columbus Crew.

Shola Ameobi 'copied' his brother 'Sammy' (see Almere report below) by scorin' a fine goal in the 9th minute by roundin' their keeper after a defensive mistake.
'Fab' Coloccini made it two when he fired in from ten yards oot and Harris Vidic wrapped things up with a great shot in injury time, in front of the joyous Toon fans at that end of the stadium.
Final score 3-0 to us!

Things are (hopefully!) lookin' up!

Attendance: 11,224 (quite a few Toon fans)

THE SHEEPHEADS 3 TOON XI 2

Posted '2:00 pm bells' Wednesday 27th July 2011

As aa
was
havin'
'ground withdrawal symptoms', aa decided that aa MUST! tek in at least ONE of wor pre season games in the 'second strings' tour of Holland and so alang with 'Mal the Inglish Skool Teecha' <(he told me how to spell it!) we heeded for Leeds/Bradford airport for a bucket price flight to Amsterdam

When we arrived at the groond which was half an hours train ride from 'Amsterdam Centraal' we were telt by 'Glennn from Ashington' (who'd 'groundhopped' to AALL of the Dutch games) that the game wasn't bein played there, as they had a plastic pitch and 'The Toon' refused to play on it!

This meant that the game had to be played on a grass trainin' pitch next to the groond on 'The Toons' insistance!

Aall that way to see a match on a f*****' trainin' pitch was devestatin' news to both me and Mal, but at least they hadn't caalled the game off aaltogether!
Brief match report below (full groundhoppers report to follow later on in the week!)

Veld 7, (Field 7!) Fanny Blankers Koen sports complex
(honest! aa havvent made it up!--see photo above!)
Almere City 3
Newcastle United XI 2 (Nile Ranger, Sammy Ameobi)

Friendly fixture
Attendance:280 estimated (40ish Toon fans) 

Things didn't start off well on 'Veld 7' as within a minute of the start the home side known as 'The Sheepheads' took the lead afta sloppy Toon defendin'
It got worse six mins later when Almere doubled their lead and we were now on the back foot.

Nile Ranger pulled one back at the otha end with a fine effort but it remained 2-1 to the hosts at half time.
'The Sheepheads' restored their two goal advantage midway through the second half when Joey Barton fouled one of their forwards in the box and the home side convorted a penalty through Meulens

Sammy Ameobi reduced the arrears with a tap in near the end but we couldn't get another, although Ranger came close in the final minute to levellin' the game!

This was mee 280th groond watchin' The Toon and as coincidence would have it, there were 280 spectators present (aye! we coonted them!)

Like aa say!---full mad-sad (and 'sick'!)groundhoppers report to follow (much) later!