Sunday 11 May 2014

CULLERCOATS 4 GATESHEED RUTHERFORD (sorry!) GATESHEED REDHEUGH 1 ("or waz the score the othaa way roond!???") *** NORTHERN ALLIANCE DIVISION 1

Posted '6:48am bells' Sunday 11th May 2014


Az we had ne game to gan te once agen coz The Toon wornt due to play til the next day, it waz decided to heed for the coast on the Metro and take in Cullercoat's last Northern Alliance game of the season at their seaside groond in Links Avenue 

The wethaa wasn't 'ower clever' az we 'attacked' 'The Queens Heed' on the sea front, az black clouds desended!
A few 'liquid refreshments' later and it waz time to heed for the ground which waz aboot half a mile inland.

Cullercoats opponents were a team from Gatesheed, which isn't tooo far from where we live and so that's who we would 'support' for the day!

It waz still thankfully dry az we foond a spare space on the half way line (we were the anly ones there at the time!) az the teams ran oot from the portacabin on the othaa side of the pitch!

'The Caped Crusader' informed us that the Gatesheed RUTHERFORD team were wearin' black n white qwaatered shirts and that Cullercoats therefore were wearin' red n blue!

The Cullercoat's goalie waz (shall we say!) a rather large chappy weighin' aboot 18 stone and within 10 minutes he fumbled the baall which ended up in the net to give Gatesheed Rutherford the lead <(or so we thought!?) at 'The North Sea End'!

A lad we naa called Peter who supports Whitley Bay just doon the road, then torned up and informed us that in fact it waz Cullercoats who were wearin' black n white qwaataaz and NOT Gatesheed!
(ie: We'd got the 'colours' wrang in 'Culler'coats! and had 'cheered' the wrang team for half an hour!)

'The Caped Crusader, Paul the Peddler' <(he had hiz bike!) and 'The Mad Professor' who were in wor party still wornt convinced, but an advort on the red n blue strip waz from a Gatesheed firm? <(would a Gatesheed firm sponser Cullercoats???)
Anyway by half time the visitors (or home team perhaps?) had equalised and they went in aall square at the break!

The referee, it shud be noted waz the faathaa of 'Liam from the Lamp', who iz of course 'The Geordie Times' cheeef futbaall correspondent and the linesman on wor side waz hiz 16 year old nephew! (Liam wasn't there by the way) <(the part time bustard!)


Anyway!-- Cullercoats <(or Gatesheed?) retook the lead and before lang it waz 3-1 !
The rain then desended in torrents and we made 'a sharp' exit to the bus stop on the main road az it waz the anly shelter available in the whole groond!
We still got soaken though az the rain came in sideway az there waz ne cover at the front!

Anothaa goal for the home side/visitors? sealed the game and thankfully az 'Liam from the Lamp's daddy blew for full time the rain had ceased and we trundled off soakin' wet to the nearest waaterin' hole doon the road caalled 'The Quarry' to dry oot and wet wor appetites! <(if yi see warra meen???)

It waz then onward to Whitley Bay Metro station and yem!---a great win for eethaa Cullercoats or Gatesheed! <(we may nevaa find oot!)

PS: Next day aa got The Sunday Sun to solve wor mystery and it said that Cullercoats had beaten Gatesheed REDHEUGH and NOT Gatesheed RUTHERFORD 4-1 (ie: a totally different team!)

SO!---not anly did we get the teams strips the wrang way roond, we actually got the team that Cullercoats were playin', wrang az well! <(pass the asprins pleeeze!)
Gatesheed Rutherford play in the Northern Alliance Premier Leegue, while Gatesheed Redheugh play in the division below!

Therefore, 'The Geordie Times' can anly offer yoo--wor loyal reeders a grovellin' apology for theeze heinous blunders az well az an apology to the Cullercoats goalie for any hurt or distress caused by caallin' him a "fat bustard", when in fact he waz Gatesheed Rutherford's---"er! sorry!" Gatesheed REDHEUGH'S goalie!   
Hopefully the next time we watch an Alliance game, we will get the strips and teams right!??? <(the broon ale haz got a lot to answer for!)

Attendance: 38 and 'a half' <( 'a little baaby in a pram'!) plus a doggy!

PPS: Cullercoats features in an old Geordie Song which gans:
"Wherever yi gan your sure to find a Geordie!"
"Wherever yi gan yi'll here the Geordie twang!"
"From Land's End to John O Groats!"
"From Whitley Bay to Cullercoats!"


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