Monday, 8 May 2017

THE TOON 3 BARNSLEEE 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 8th May 2017
TAKIN' LOYALTIES TO NEW EXTREMES!
A TOON FAN BRINGS A FRAMED PHOTO OF RAFA TO THE GAME 
(TAKEN FROM HIZ LIVING ROOM WAALL!!!!)

"AGAINST AALL THE ODDS!"

Where the hell do aa start????
The day started off in Bar Loco in Leazes Park Road where broon ale woz on the menu at '10:30 am bells'!
It woz then 'onward to The Leazes End Club ower the road where aa met up mee grandson Jamie aged 7 who woz with hiz mam Julie!
The 'high noon bells' kick off meant that we didn't have much time and a 'shovelled' a pint of John Smiths doon mee 'Gregory' (Gregory Peck=neck!) before heedin' for the tornstiles!

Jamie haz a season ticket beside me and haz been to EVERY home game this season!---(Aalso in attendance waz anothaa grandson, Zac aged 6, who woz with hiz daddy Craig!)

The sequence of events that followed are recorded in a 'time line'

'High noon bells': The game kicks off with the knowledge that if Brighton win at Villa then NUFC will finish in the runners up spot!

23rd minute: Perez opens the scorin' at The Leazes End when he back fips the baall into the net! 1-0!
(The Villa v Brighton game iz still scoreless which meenz we are top 'az it stood')
ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL

59th minute: Chancel Mbemba puts us '2 up' when he fires in at The Gallowgate End to virtually seal the win az Barnslee were very poor! (still 0-0 at Villa!)

64th minute: The celebratory mood changes in an instant to one of abject depression, az the 2,700 Barnslee fans let us know, in no uncertain terms that Brighton have scored a penalty---and worse than that, Villa have had a player sent off az well! (Brighton are now top 'az it stood')
The gleeful Barnslee fans are in full voice az they sing: "Your gonna win f*** all!" ---ZERO marks oot of 10 for them! (Pleeeze tell me, wot have we done against them to be so spiteful?--does EVERYBODY reeely hate us?)

THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL

90th minute: Substitute Dwight Gayle puts us '3 up' to muted cheers! from the capacity crowd az Brighton looked certain to win the title!
I tell Jamie that "It doesn't matter!" az we are still gannin up!

91st minute: EUPHORIA!!! News filters through on the many mobile 'telling bones' aroond us--- THAT!---VILLA HAVE EQUALISED!!!!! the exact time that Gayle had scored wor thord goal!!!-- The roar of the crowd at that definin' moment in time woz DEAFENIN!!!! az disbelief and unbridled joy enveloped us!!!

93rd minute: Wor game haz finished BUT they are still playin' at Villa Park az the players stand in the middle of the pitch--hoping against hope that Villa can hang on!----
97th minute:--with 7 minutes stoppage time bein' played at Villa Park the ref at that game finally blows hiz whistle to end the game and give us the title!!!

Ecstatic scenes then envelope the stadium az the players dive in a heep, az aa hold Jamie aloft in The Milburn Stand!
One fan in front of us haz brought a large framed photo of Rafa which he took from hiz living room waall!!! and holds it aloft az the crowd cheer wildly!---BRILLIANT!
(How the hell did he get THAT past security?)

A few minutes later we receive the trophy az the Barnslee end skulks away very quickly (may they get stuck in a massive traffic jam on the 'A1' motorway, on their way back to their south Yorkshire sh**holes!)

3 weeks ago aftaa wor disastrous 3-1 defeat at Ipswich we were 7 points behind Brighton with just 3 games to gan---aall they had to de woz win ONE of those games and they would be champions!
They lost the forst 2 and drew at Villa az we WON wor last 3--- against aall the odds!---Special thanx to Jack Grealish, who scored the Villa goal that gave us the title! (yoo are on my 'Xmas card list' for sure!)

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Hayden (Haidera 13), Mbemba, Dummett, Atsu, Shelvey (Diame 72), Colback, Gouffran, Perez (Gayle 80), Mitrovic

Attendance: 52, 276 (2,700 very sad  Barnslee fans!)
*

THESE 'LUCKY BLACK N WHITE STRIPED TRAINERS'
HAVE BEEN WORN BY FINK
TO EVERY ONE OF WOR 53 LEEGUE AND CUP GAMES THIS SEASON!
THE SOLES ARE COMPLETLEE 'NACKERED' AND WORN OOT
AFTER AALL THE TRAVELLIN' (AND WAALKIN!)
AND ARE READY FOR 'RETIREMENT'!
(THERE'LL BE NEW TRAINERS WORN FOR NEXT SEASONS 
PREMYAA LEEGUE FIXTURES FOR CERTAIN!)


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