Monday, 15 February 2016

CHELSKI OAPs 5 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 15th February 2016

The Toon attack The Harding Stand (far end)

"A SORRY STATE OF AFFAIRS!"

Yet again we are sorry for the late postin' of yet anothaa catastrophic and sorry away result and of course we are sorry that we went to watch this sorry display!

5th min: 1-0 doon: A disastrous Tiote loses the baall in midfield to Willian and the baall iz passed to Costa who strides past Steve Taylor and hammers it past Elliot in The Toon goal!

8 mins: 2-0 doon and game over!---An attempted pass by Aarons to Janmaat finds Chelski's Pedro instead, who slots the baall past Elliot once again!

17mins: A 'cricket score' iz on the cards when Coloccini fails to win a pass---the baall ends up at Willian's feet and he sidefoots the baall past Elliot who haz ne chance to stop it!

18th minute: Some Toon fans who have paid £55 for a ticket have 'had enough' and exit their seats for the concourse below and some to the boozers on the Kings Road!

Half time: Somehow we manage to get to the break withoot concedin' again, az a fan in front of me tells me that he's 'off to 'Earls Court' for hiz orlyier than 'planned' post match drinks!

59th minute: It's 4-0 az Pedro fires home for hiz 2nd goal of the game!

60th minute: McClaren makes a rare 'sorte' to the technical area and bends hiz heed back to take a swig from hiz bottle of waataa az Shelvey begs him to give some instructions!---In response he scurries back to the away dug-oot to sit with hiz arms folded!

70th minute: Wor new 'super striker' Doumbia comes off the subs bench and fluffed hiz forst chance when he waz 'put through!--he looked az fit az 'me' and I'm 16 stone plus!  He did nowt else after this---now renamed 'Doom Bar' by the Toon faithful!
Action at The Shed End (2nd half)

4-0 doon and all some Toon fans can sing are songs aboot a certain mackem pead-ofile <(sorry for the wrang spellin'!) which had been sung many many times before, durin' the match! <(NE  songs aboot Toon players who were on the pitch though!--although they did sing the Chancel Mbemba song aboot "never givin' the ball away!"---he WASN'T even playin' lads and lasses!)

83rd min: 5-0 Traore shot---The final nail in wor coffin and enough to send us into the relegation zone once again--on goals conceded!

90th minute: 5-1 At last something to 'cheer' for the fans who were left inside the away end (not many!)--Andros Toonsend fires a left footer past Courtois in the home goal!

In hiz post match interview 'The Wally (withoot) the Brolly' unbelievably said:
"There's enough quality in there!---We have to show character and fight!" <(we DID lose 5-1---didn't we???)

After the match we heeded to the Bayswater part of London, where 'Doumbia'--sorry!--'Doom Bar' waz on the 'menu'---very appropriate under the circumstances!

Toon team: Elliot, Janmaat, Taylor, Coloccini, Aarons, Shelvey, Tiote (Lascelles 67) <(why a defender when we are losin' 4-0!?) Sissoko, Wijnaldum (Colback 46), Toonsend, Mitrovic (Doumbia 70)

Attendance: 41,622 (2,000 Toon fans at the start---1,000 at the finish!) *

The pre and post match gargels took place here!
Phoenix, Bayswater, London
The Rose,Chelsea

Bayswater, London
Kings Heed, Bayswater




 

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