THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM 0. THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

Posted ‘6:00pm bells’ Tuezday 11th March 2025

TOON IN WHITE AND GREEN! “MIND THE GAP!”🔭

“BEFORE THE LORD MAYOR’S SHOW!”

Bruno’s outstretched leg goal halfway through the 2nd half from a Harvey Barnes cross, sealed the 1-0 victory ower The Jellied Ells Mob at London Stadium last neet! (Jellied Eels are a favorite delecesee aroond these parts!)

To be honest it wasn’t a very good game at aall with both sides strugglin’ to create and opening!

Just 15 seconds had passed from the kick off when Livramento missed the baall and it fell nicely to West Ham’s Soucek, who completely fluffed hiz lines by firing a shot ower the bar with just The Pope to beat in The Toon goal!

A lucky early escape, but after this we settled doon and had a couple of chances to take the lead through Harvey Barnes but he couldn’t find the net at the far end from where the 3,000 Toon fans were!

And that woz the 'excitment' from the forst period in a very flat atmosphere, in this vast former Olympic Games stadium!--Certainly nee good for futbaall, with fans so far from the pitch!

The 2nd half woz a bit better az we attacked 'wor end' and the breakthrough eventually came through Bruno's goal, az mentioned above!----Just before that a Jacob Murphy centre woz nearly torned into hiz own net by Kilman, but their goalie made a superb acrobatic save, with Alexander Isak unable to get onto the end of baall, az it woz punched clear!

You could  play a game of futbaall in the gaps between the back and front away sections!

And that woz just aboot it! Not a display that The Liverbirds will be shakin in their boots with, for next Sunday's showdown at Wembley, but a confidence booster at least---and with nee more injury scares its lookin a little bit brighter for NUFC, who are massive underdogs for that game!----Dafter things have happened in Wembley cup finals of course (Relegated Wigan beatin Man City in 2013, relegated Birmingham beatin The Arse in 2011 and not forgettin massive underdogs Wimbledon beatin Livaapoool in the 1980s!-----Lets have one of those underdogs results pleeeze!)

The win lifts us from 9th to 6th and level with Man City on 47 points---and just 4 behind Forest in 3rd place in the Premyaa Leegue table!---A place in The Champions Leegue iz 'still on' az well!

Attendance: 62,463 (3,000 Toon fans who made more noise!)

PS: There were plenty of empty seats scattered arond the groond, so attendance wise, it definatly wasnt full by any means!---and certainly not near the end az the disaloshand home fans left in their droves!)

Pub crawl pix in Hackney, London: 4   Runnin total: 66 different boozers this season!

THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM V THE TOON *** MUNDAY NEET!

 Posted ‘high noon 🔔 bells’ Sunday 9th March 2025

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE LAST SEASON! A 2-2 DRAW (ISAK 2)

We heed for’The Smoke’ (London) for the umpteenth time this season, when we face West ‘am at The London Stadium for the 💩 kick off time on a 💩 day for a match!

And there’s a dilemma for Toon manager ‘Steady Eddie’ —-just who to pick to play, with the Leegue Cup final next Sunday! 

Pick a weak team withoot Isak for example, and risk dropping’ points in wor quest for Champions Leegue Futbaall next season, OR play him and risk injury for wor biggest game in 2 seasons!?

We sit in 8th position az of the time of writing this, and a win would send us back to 6th place and within touchin’ distance of the top 5! (And a  Champions Leegue place!)

Aall 3,000 away tickets are sold for this live telly game, which iz great, considerin’ we are back in London in 6 days time!

A full Geordie Times match (and boozer!) report will appear here sometime on Tuezday!

APU “Watch this space!”

UPDATED ‘high noon bells 🔔 Tuezday

On the train back from London!

Ride iz a bit bumpy, mmaking it a bbit difficultt to ttype, so the mmatch reportt won’t apppear hhere til laterr tooneet!—Grovellingg aapologeeez!

NUFC SEASON TICKET PRICES 2025-2026

 Posted 3:55pm 🛎️ bells’ Thorzday 6th March 2025

Season ticket prices for next season were released at ‘2:30 pm 🔔 bells’ today and The Geordie Times iz forst (for a change!) to bring yoo the news!

🤪👍🏁

And this season’s prices! 👇

“KEEP THE FAITH! NUFC!”

 Posted ‘6:00pm bells 🛎️’ Wedinzday 5th March 2025

*Much doom and gloom haz been written aboot wor depleted line up for wor trip to Wembley a week on Sunday!—With many Toon fans writing us off against The Liverbirds, who look certain to win the Premyaa Leegue!

Anthony Gordon’s self inflicted wounds and Lewis Hall’s foot injury, rulin’ them oot, with possibly Sven Botman and (God forbid!) Alexander Isak missin oot az well, haz sent shock ⚡️ waves 🌊 through the NUFC fan base! 😳 

Well here’s some huge plus points from previous cup finals at Wembley this century, when massive underdogs have won converted silverware!

1: In the 2011 Leegue Cup final ‘The Arse’ were red hot favourites to beat Bormingham City!

Bormingham won 2-1 and were relegated at the end of that season!

2: In the 2013 FA Cup final, high flyin Man Citih were odds on favourites to beat already relegated Wigin Athletic

Unbelievably Wigin won 1-0!

3: Portsmoooth defied aall the odds to reach and beat Cardiff City in the 2008 FA Cup final—and yes! they were relegated the followin’ season—-never to retorn to the top flight!

So to aall the doom and gloom merchants oot there, give your heeds a wobble and cheer the lads on, IF yoo are fortunate enough (like me!) to get a final ticket!

Aa naa that we are massive underdogs, but it’s a one off game at a neutral Wembley Stadium and anything can happen, like wot happened to the above mentioned teams!—So pleeze!-pleeeeeze! keep the faith and divvint give up!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)

THE TOON 1. NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN 2 *** FA CUP 5th ROOND

 Posted ‘just after high noon bells’ 🔔 Munday 3rd March 2025

“OH! (NO!) ANTHONY GORDON!”

It’s dead simple. If VAR hadn’t been used like in previous roonds of the FA Cup, we would have won 2-1 and Anthony Gordon wouldn’t have been sent off and wouldn’t have missed the Leegue Cup final later this month!

ISAK STEPS UP TO TAKE THE PENALTY

It started off so well when The Toon were awarded a penalty at the Leazes End in the 22nd minute when Mintah fouled Tino Livramento in the box— and Isak took it to put us 1-0 up!

Not lang after this, another goal by Isak woz ruled oot by VAR for a clear offside!

Brightin equalised after a defensive mistayk and Minteh ran through on goal and placed the baall beyond Dubravka in wor goal to level things just before half time!

In the 2nd period we just couldn’t find the net az we attacked the Gallowgate goal and then horror upon horrors, Gordon needlessly slapped Van Hecke on the back of the heed and after a VAR check, woz sent off for violent play in the 83rd minute! (Talk aboot self inflicted wounds!)💩What the ‘Hecke’ woz he thinkin aboot? (sic!)

To even things up Brighton’s Lamptey woz aalso sent off not lang after for a 2nd bookable offence!

MEEENIN! Gordon will miss the Leegue Cup final v Livaapoool, giving us even less chance of liftin a domestic trophy for 70 years!

Fabian Schar then won the game in the dyin seconds when he vollied the baall in from close range to send the crowd wild with delight in the 93rd minute!

But then the dreaded VAR got involved and after an agonising 5 minutes the goal woz eventually chalked off az he woz millimetres offside to the utter dispair of Toon fans!

HOW THE HELL IZ THAT OFFSIDE 👆???

Extra time now loomed and again we just couldn’t find the net!

Just when it looked az though penalties would decide the outcome up stepped ex mackem player Danny Welbeck to lob the baall ower Dubravka and into the net to win the game for Brightin at The Leazes End in the 2nd period of extra time!

From a 2-1 win to a 2-1 defeat! The agony of it aall!— Fine margins indeed!

Attendance: 51,566 (Just 1,000 Brighton fans-but they were very happy at the very end!)

*

THE TOON V NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN *** FA CUP 5th ROOND

 Posted ‘3:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Saturday 1st March 2025

SJP FROM LEAZES PARK LAKE!

We change competitions once again, this time to the FA Cup for a chance to progress to the qwaata finals, when we play Brightin at the odd time of ‘1:45 🛎️s’ tomorrow at SJP! (ITV 1) (That’s a brand new crazy telly time to gan with aall the others!)

We can anly hope that we play much better after Wedinzday’s bad performance at Anfeeeld and hope that the trio of Isak, Joelinton and Botman are in the startin line after missin the game v Livaapoool!

A win will propel us to within one game of a semi final place at Wembley —-and yet more expense!

(It ain’t cheap being an NUFC mad-sad groundhopper!)

NUFC lost 1-0 to Brightin in the Premyaa Leegue at SJP orlier this season, so we need a much better response to progress!

APU “Watch this space!” for a match report on Munday!

THE LAST TIME NUFC BEAT THEM AT THEIR PLACE!

 Updated ‘high noon 🛎️bells’ Friday 28th February 2025

TOON FANS CELEBRATE WOR FAMOUS 2-0 WIN AT THE ARSE ORLIER THIS YEAR!

🤪👍🏁

THE ANFIELD JINX CONTINUES!

The last time we won away at these current Premyaa Leegue groonds iz az follows! 

Az yoo can see below, we have won at 15 away groonds this decade and 18 in total this century! 

Livaapoool iz bottom of the list and iz the anly current Premyaa Leegue groond that we havvint won at in the 21st century!  It’s now 30 years since we last won at Anfield!---And 29th time in a row that we have failed to beat them at their place on Wedinzday neet!

Sooothampton 2025

The Arse 2025

Sporz 2025

Ipswitch 2024

Moan U 2024

Forist 2024

Villaa 2024

Fulhim 2024

Wolvzz 2024

Brentfaad 2024

Evaatin 2023

West ‘am 2023

Lestaa 2022

Paliss 2020

Bournemoooth 2020

Brightin 2017

Man Citih 2014

Chelseee 2012

Livaapoool 1995

THE LIVERBIRDS 2-0 THE TOON *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 27th February 2025 (On the train back yem!)

"BEFORE THE LORD MAYOR'S SHOW!"

*There woz yet more misery on the Mersey. az for the 29th time in a row we failed miserably to beat the red side of Livaapoool!

The score woz therefore predictable to say the least az we succumbed at Anfeeeld!

Missin from the startin line up woz Isak, with a muscle strain, replaced by Callum Wilson up front, but it woz the home side who pressed from the word go, az they attacked the Anfeeeld Road end, where we were, and sure enough the breakthrough came in the 11th minute when Fabian Schar failed to stop Diaz and he slipped the baall across the box where Szoboslai woz waitin to shoot home after it went through a body of players and took a slight deflection to wrang foot Pope in the Toon goal!

1-0 to them!

It woz one way traffic az The Liverbirds went for more goals, with us unable to stop their relentless pressure!

We tried in vain to break doon their defence with Wilson missin a clear cut chance late on in the half!

HT 1-0 doon (Should have been more for them!)

The 2nd half woz the same and when their 2nd goal went in it woz ‘game ower’!

That goal came in the 60th minute when MacAlister fired across the box to beat The Pope az they attacked The Kop!

There woz nee way back for NUFC!

A 2-0 defeat, which should have been a lot more in this ‘dress rehearsal’ for the Leegue Cup final at Wembley next month!

On a more positive note, hopefully Joelinton, Botman and Isak are fit for that game!?—If so, we stand a chance!

Attendance: 60,364 (3,000 Toon fans who accepted wor ‘fate’!)

Footnote: Some lads behind us were in the wrang seats— And when some of ‘Amanda’s bus crew’ turned up, they refused to move! They said that they could sit anywhere they liked!

This resulted in a heated argument with pushin and shovin, with hands aroond throats etc! They eventually moved but came back in the 2nd half where more angry exchanges occurred—with one of them escorted oot by ‘the dibble’!

And the moral of the story IZ!- sit in your proper seats which are on your phones or match tickets!

Don’t be a tosser, like them and lose your season tickets!

Updated ‘2:15pm bells 🔔’

“A SHEEPISH EXCUSE!” 🐑 🐑 

Wor train iz near Durham and the latest excuse for it being delayed iz because there are some SHEEP 🐑 🐑 on the line!—Now that’s a new one! —I don’t believe it! (You can’t pull the wool over my eyes! 👀!(sic!)

Not much of a pub crawl  Just 2 —- 1 in Southport (where we stayed) and 1 in Livaapoool! (where we have been many times before!)

*

*

THE LIVERBIRDS v THE TOON *** TOONEET!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 26th February 2025 on the train doon!

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE IN JANUARY 2024---A 4-2 DEFEAT!

In a dress rehearsal for The Leegue Cup final next month, we heed to Anfeeeld to take on title favourites and runaway leaders Livaapoool in a Premyaa Leegue fixture!

Hopefully we can play like we did in the forst half v Forest on Sunday and NOT like wor second half performance or else we'll get well and truely stuffed tooneet!

The game kicks off at the ridiculous '8:15 bells' appointed time for live telly!  The kick off time of course meeenz that we cannit get back yem by train and are stoppin in Southport 20 miles north, az the hotel prices in Livaapoool are absolutleee ridiculous! (£300 plus)  Southport (£30)

The prices have got a hell of a lot to dee aboot Livaapoool's 'gloryhuntin' tourist fans', which seemz to be spreadin' far and wide these days! (When we stopped owerneet on the ootskirts of Manchester after wor '8:00 bells' kick off game at Moan U in December, there were more of their 'fans'? in the hotel than wors!)

Like The Eteeead at Man City, Anfeeeld  iz bogey groond for certain az we havvint won here for 30 years!

Aall 3,000 digital tickets allocated to us sold oot ages ago for the Anfeeeld Road End!

Both Joelinton and Sven Botman are close to retornin to the fray and may play some part tooneet?----Sandro Tonali iz fit and will definatly be on at least the subs bench! 

We reeely must be at wor best to have any chance of winnin or gettin a draw, but dafter things have happened!

Results from last neet meen we drop from 5th to 6th place in the table!

A full Geordie Times match (and boozer!) report will appear here az per usual sometime on Thorzday!  APU: "Watch this space!"

ALTRINCHAM v THE TOON U21s *** NATIONAL LEEGUE CUP QWAATAA FINAL

 Posted from '7:30pm bells' onwards Tuezday 25th February 2025

*NUFC U21s gan into tooneets game at Moss Rose, hopin to reach the semi finals of the competition!

*Most of the (much!) older 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have been here before, to watch wor resorves play Moan U reserves 21 years ago in 2004 and so won't be attendin' tooneet! (We've got the T shirt!👕 ) (see ground 233 in right hand column, or below this article)

Nee doubt some will be there for the forst time and 'The Geordie Times' will bring updates for any goals or incidents that may occur az soon az we find oot!

If you can gan it’s a fiver for big kids 👨 to get in and two quid for sprogs 👶 and zimmerframeites! 👴🏻 

UPDATES HERE! 🠷👇

*7th minute: Goal to Altrincham Reddin! shot 1-0 to them!🥶

10th minute: Goal to Altrincham

Taylor! heeder 2-0 to them!🥶

19th minute: GOAL to NUFC

Garang Kuol! Long range shot!

🤪👍🏁 2-1 to them!🥶

29th minute: GOAL to NUFC!

Jay Turner-Cooke! penalty!🤪👍🏁

Aall square 2-2!

HT 2-2

57th minute: GOAL to NUFC!

Garang Kuol again! Tap in! 3-2 UP!

🤪👍🏁

89th minute: Goal to Altrincham oh no! Alamuzor heeder! 3-3 🥶

FT 3-3

The dreaded penalty shootout now!

Oh no! Lost 3-2 on penalties!🥶

3 missed oot of 5 so NUFC U21s gan oot of the competition!😭

Updated 10:44pm bells 🔔 

“IT’S A NO BRAINER🧠AT BRAINTREE!" 

IF we had beaten Altrincham then there would have been the real possibility of playin Sutton, Aldershot or Braintree 🧠 in the semi final of The National Leegue Cup

3 groonds that ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ have never been tee!

The defeat meenz that it’s now a ‘no brainer!’ (excuse the pun!)