'BENT NOSE McCARTHY'S TRACTOR BOYS V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '9:39am bells' Easter Sunday 16th April 2017

Later today we heed for the 'delights'? of Ipswich by choo choo train, for an overneet stay(£13 each!), where we will take on a 'Bent Nose McCarthy' side tomorrow, who are languishin' <(we naa aall the hard words!) in a mid table position with nothin' to play for apart from pride! (The game kicks off at '3 bells' tomorrow afternooon!)

NUFC on the othaa hand MUST win this game to keep at least an 8 point difference between us and 'uddersfield who kick off just after wor game (tomorrow tea time away to Darbee Coonty)

(Brighton, who are now 4 points aheed of us play Wigan at home the same time az us)

Aall 2,000 away tickets were sold ages ago az we gan for a club record breakin' 14th away win of the season!

A full Geordie Times match report and pix will appear here sometime on Wednesday---lets hope (and pray!) it's a good story to bring yoo!)?

THE TOON 1 LEEEDZ 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 15th April 2017

"THE TALE OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE!"

We stood watchin' the results come through on Sky Sports in The Bodega and 'uddersfield were drawin' 2-2 with Preston!
It woz 6 minutes into stoppage time when dramatic news came through that 'uddersfield had scored! (I nearly chocked on my pint!)

NUFC then played wor game against Leeedz where we were winnin' 1-0 and it woz 6 minutes into stoppage time when the Yorkshiremen equalised to break wor hearts!---a case of 'da va ju' ---but not in wor favour!

Brighton had won 2-0 in the '5:30 bells' game away to Wolves, which meant they went 4 points clear of us and that 'uddersfield moved within 8 points of us---with a game in hand!


1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL


Leeedz hit the bar at The Gallowgate End' 'orly on' but after this we dominated play with several corners and near misses and Gouffran hit the post!
The 2nd half woz the same and the vital breakthrough came in the 67th minute when Lascelles scrambled the baall ower the line to send the crowd 'potty'!

And then the heartbreak in stoppage time when goalscorer Lascelles woz unable to stop Chris Wood's runnin' through wor defence and he shot past Darlow to level the match ----'WOOD' yoo believe it'!  < (The answer iz YES!--this iz NUFC after aall!)

LOOKIN' TOWARDS THE EAST STAND

Reeely, we shud have 'stuffed' Leeedz az we had enough chances to do so, but, we didn't and are crawlin' towards the finishin' line 'tortoise like', with 4 games to gan, while 'uddersfield are 'harin' alang' behind us!
On the plus side wor goal difference iz 31 better than 'uddersfield's !  (in effect wor goal difference iz worth a point in itself!)
It meenz that we must lose 3 of wor last 4 games and 'uddersfield must win 3 oot of their last 5 to gan above us---highly unlikely---BUT still possible!


2nd HALF AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL


Next up iz 'Bent Nose McCarthy's Ipswich on Easter Munday, while 'uddersfield are away to Darbee Coonty and Brighton are at home to relegation threatened Wigan!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Dummett, Hayden (Colback 79), Lascelles, Mbemba, Shelvey, Richie (Yedlin 84), Mitrovic, Perez (Diame 90), Gouffran

Attendance: 52,301 (3,200 Leeedz) (Highest crowd of the season)   Average gate now 51,095

* 

THE TOON v LEEEDZ ** TOONEET!

Posted 'high noon bells' Good Friday 14th April 2017


TOON FANS CELEBRATE A 2-0 VICTORY AT ELLAND ROAD
ORLIER THIS SEASON! (SAME AGAIN PLEEEEZE!)


Toooneet we 'welcome'? Leeedz to SJP, az the final coontdoon begins!
Aall the othaa teams aroond us play before us (again!), so we will naa wot we have to de by kick off time at '7:45 bells'---WIN!

Not surprisingly the game iz a selloot with Leeedz takin' up their full allocation of 3,200 tickets, in wot shud be a 'white hot atmosphere'!

Dwight Gayle looks az though he will be oot for the rest of the season and 'Mitro' will undoubtedly 'fill in' for him?
However both Yedlin and Clark could retorn after an absence of 4 games!

Wor millionth spectator came through the tornstiles at the Burton game and with 52,000 guaranteed for tooneet and the last match v Barnsleee, anly wor home game v Preston Dead End iz not a selloot (so far!)
This meeenz that wor average leegue gates will exceed 51,000--a record for a club ootside the top flight this century.

We aalso hold the record for the 20th century az well, az ower 56,000 came through the tornstiles in 1948 az a 2nd Division club!---a 'world record' for a club ootside the top flight!
(Man U are 'next best' when they averaged 48,000 in the old 2nd Division in 1975)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow---lets hope that this IZ a 'good Friday' and that we are still at least 10 points above thord place by '10 bells' tooneet?  

"VIRGIN ON THE RIDICULOUS!"

Posted '1:00pm bells' Thorsday 13th April 2017



"OH NO!--THE CREW ARE ON STRIKE AGAIN!"


Virgin Trains have annoonced that there will be a train strike on the 28th and 29th April!---The VERY DAYS we are travellin' to Cardiff and back by train!!!
They could have picked any days they liked, but it just HAD to be the days we are gannin'!
Like we've said in the past---
"NO ONE LIKES US!---THEY DONT CARE!"

IT'S A SELLOOOT!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 12th April 2017

THE BANDSTAND IN LEAZES PARK
WITH THE LEAZES END IN THE BACKGROOND

Wor forthcomin' home games v Leeedz on Good Friday and Barnsley (on the last day of the season) are now sold oot--az iz wor away game at 'Bent Nose McCarthy's Ipswich on Easter Munday

Tickets are still on sale for wor home game v Preston Dead End and the away game v 'The Taffy's of Cardiff'  

THE HILLSBOUROUGH HILLBILLIES 2 THE TOON 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '11:45am bells' Sunday 9th April 2017
Updated '11:45am bells' Munday (with pix)

SHELVEY FREE KICK (2nd half)

"WE ANLY NEED 8 POINTS!"

After 'uddersfield's defeat at Forest (2-0) and Readins humiliation at Norwich (7-1!) before wor game woz played, a victory at Sheff Wed would have aalmost guaranteed promotion back to the top flight 'gravy train'---BUT!---this IZ NUFC 'after aall' and we shot worsels in the foot with anly wor 2nd away leegue defeat this year, by puttin' in a dreadful performance!

It woz 0-0 at halftime but 'The Hillbillies' did have 3 good chances to score but blew it, while we were aaful!--apart from one effort by Jonjo Shelvey, when he lobbed a lang range shot from the halfway line which hit the bar!

We wornt so lucky in the 2nd period though and goals from Lees and fletcher in the 59th and 68th minutes of the game sealed wor fate
Jonjo Shelvey did pull a goal back in the 88th minute but it woz too little toooo late and the chance to gan 13 points clear of thord place woz gone!

On a brighter note, 'uddersfield can anly get a maximum of 18 points should they win aall of their remain' 6 games--which meeenz---that with a far superior goal difference to them, we need EIGHT points oot of the last 15 from 5 games to win promotion!---"WE SHALL SEE!"

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Dummett, Diame (Atsu 72), Lascelles, Mbemba, Shelvey, Perez, Gayle (Murphy 29), Richie (Mitrovic 79), Gouffran

Attendance 28,883 (3,100 Toon fans)  Sorves them right for givin' us a paltry allocation and tryin' to sell £42 tickets to their own fans, when the game woz live on the telly!  
When they played Leeedz the crowd woz ower 35,000 and they gave them ower 4,000 away tickets!---and!---charged them less than us to get in! <(No one likes us--do they?)
The capacity of Hillsborough iz just under 40,000!
(ie: 11,000 empty seats!)

*The pre match 'gargels' took place here!

THE HILLSBOROUGH HILLBILLIES v THE TOON ***TOMORROW TEATIME

Posted '1:20pm bells' Friday 7th April 2017

"42 quid---your havin' a laff!"

We heed for the hills of northern Sheffield tomorrow in anothaa 'must win' game and will have the backin' of 3,100 fans in 'The Upper Leppings Lane End' (that's aall the tickets they would give us!) (Leedz and Villa got 4,000!)

At an extortionate £42 to get in, which iz the highest price this season, we 'dearly' (sic!) hope that we can 'stuff them'---If any reason needs to be given to get oot of this division, then surely this iz it! (Mebeez Sheff Wed shud gan on the 'Rip Off Britain' TV series)

We are gannin by road this time az there iz a replacement bus sorvce back from York for 'line work' on the trains---so 'jam jar' it iz!

With Brighton playin' toneet and the othaa 'chasin' pack playin' before us tomorrow, we will naa by kick off time ('5:30 bells') just wot we have to de!---"WIN!"

A full match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!   

"QWAATAA OF A MILLION REASONS TO BELIEVE!!!!!!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 7th April 2017


"LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!"


Between 'high noon bells' yesterday and 'high noon bells' today 'The Geordie Times' passed the 250,000 mark for pageviews!!!!

This woz mainly due to a load of 'hits' from the UK and Israel and we thank each and every one of yoo for viewin' this fan site, which iz sometimes days behind on match reports etc, due to the fact that aa got to gan to work to orn money to watch The Toon etc!

The top 10 aalltime pageviews are az follows:

1 UK (Ing-er-land, Jockoland, Walez and Northin Ireland) 118,281
2 USA ******************************************35,461
3 Ukraine ****************************************19,771
4 Jawmany ***************************************16,958
5 Israel ******************************************11,374
6 Rushaa ******************************************7,293
7 (Lost in) France ***********************************4,625
8 (Mee old) China **********************************4,187
9 The Guinness Republic ****************************2,004
10 Spain ******************************************1,533

155 countries and territories have now visited this site--the last new one bein' Czechia (wherevaa that iz?) (156 if yoo include the planet MARS!)

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

THE TOON 1 BORTIN ALBION 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '12:53pm bells' Thorsday 6th April 2017

"WHO'S THE DUCK-EGG IN THE BLACK!?"

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
JAMIE'S PENALTY (NOTE THE 2 PLAYERS ENCROACHING)
GOAL ALLOWED!!!

MATT RICHIE'S PENALTY (NOTE GAYLE ENCROACING)
GOAL DISALLOWED!!!

On Sunday aa watched mee 7 year old grandson Jamie play at Swalwell for 'Redheugh Blacks' in front of 22 spectators and 2 ducks, which had wandered onto the pitch!
Last neet aa 'watched on' az Jamie (who woz one of the Toon mascots) run oot with the players in front of 48,814 spectators and 1 'duck-egg'! (The 'duck-egg in question torned oot to be the referee!---read on!)
In the warm up Jamie scored a 'penalty' against Karl Darlow at The Gallowgate End (see above) to huge roars from ME!, Zac (anothaa grandson) and wor lass, who woz in attendance to see mascot Jamie
 

ZAC ENJOYS A BLACKCURRENT 'BEER' BEFORE THE MATCH!

On the half hour mark of the game and amid the most extraordinary scenes ever witnessed at St James' Park the referee Keith Stroud awarded a penalty after Matt Richie had been fouled in the box at The Gallowgate End.
He took it himself and scored sendin' the keeper the wrang way--anly for the goal to be disallowed for encroachment by Dwight Gayle!
This meant that the penalty MUST BE RETAKEN!---But NO! the ref gives an indirect free kick to Bortin and waves the protests away az the crowd gans mad!
Frantic discussions with the 3 othaa official then followed but the SAME decision woz given, which sent Rafa and the players into a rage!
I honestleee have neva seen anythin' like it!!!!!

Anyway!--the 'duck-egg' ref woz roundly booooed for the rest of the half and just 3 minutes were added despite the penalty protests gannin on for at least twice az lang???

Justice woz done however in the 68th minute when Matt Richie hit an unstoppable shot into the roof of the net at The Leazes End to win the game for us!

The question iz this: How come aall FOWER (4) match officials divvint naa the rules of the game????

Match summary: Jamie scores a penalty at The Gallowgate End and the goal woz allowed!
Matt Richie scores a penalty at The Gallowgate End and the goal woz DISALLOWED!!!!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Mbemba, Dummett, Richie, Shelvey, Diame, Atsu (Ameobi 89), Gayle (Murphy 91), Perez

Attendance: 48,814 (700 Bortin fans huddled in the corner of The Leazes End!)

*

2 DUCKS AT SWALWELL!

   

1 'DUCK-EGG' AT ST JAMES' PARK!

THE TOON v BORTIN ALBION *** TOONEET!

Posted '1:27pm bells' Wednesday 5th April 2017

ACTION FROM BORTIN ORLIER THIS SEASON
NUFC WON 2-1 (in white)

Tooneet 'The Toon' will pass the MILLION MARK in Leegue attendances @ SJP, when we face Bortin Albion here for the forst ever time! (currently 971,000 +)
Bortin will anly have 700 fans present, which iz suprisin' az aa expected that the whole of Bortin would want to visit 'The Cathedral on the Hill', considerin' that they've nevaa been here before? (max away allocation 3,200)

With Brighton winnin' last neet we are back in 2nd place with the lead changin' hands some 16 or 17 times now, so a win would propel us back to top spot!
Readin' are now in 3rd place, some 8 points behind, havin' played a game more, so 3 points are vital tooneet!
We expect 'The Nigel Clough Mob' to put 11 men behind the baall and hope for a point in their battle against relegation, so it wont be an easy game!
Az mentioned below, grandson Jame aged 7 iz one of the mascots tooneet and we desperately need a win for hiz sake at least!

A full match report will appear here sometime tomorrow!
Az per usual 'watch this space'!