SEASON 2007-2008
DATELINE: 17th JULY 2007
VICTORIA PARK ♦ HARTLEPOOL ♦ COONTY DURHAM
HARTLEPOOL UNITED 1
THE T☺☺N 3
FRIENDLY FIXTURE
ATTENDANCE: 6,030 (1,500 Toon fans)
“HIP!---HIP!---HORRAY!”
Aa
started off in ‘The Hotspur’ for the forst pre match ‘gargels’ of the new
season, where a gadgie with a beard complained to Shirley the barmaid that he
was’nt bein’ sorved quick enough and that she was givin’ priority to the
‘regulars’, even though there were anly two people propin up the coonta! (me
and anotha lad)
He
then got into an argument with Jimmy the manager and was promptly barred and
told to leave. His partin’ shot as he
stormed oot the door, was to caall him ‘a big fat sod’----welcome to the new season!
From
there aa caught the ‘metro’ to Gatesheed where aa was getting’ picked up by
‘The Caped Crusader’, in his ‘silver bat mobile’, but forst it was off to ‘The
Traf’ in the shadows of the ‘Get Carter’
car park to meet ‘Jonezee’ for a bit more ‘thirst quenchin’ before catchin’ wor
lift to ‘Monkeyhangerland’ at ‘three
thorty bells’!
It
pissed doon on the way but by the time we got parked next to the groond the aad
‘current bun’ made a ‘welcome’ appearance and we made for the anly boozer we
could find open a few hundred yards away (Wetherspoons!)
Then,
after a few more ‘jars’ there, it was time to heed for the match.
There
was an optimistic mood from the Toon faithful who packed the Rink End of the
groond and aa have to report that the ‘same old faces’ were present, which
included, ‘Unsteady Eddie’, ‘John the Chap’ and ‘Bill Quay Kev’ to name but a
few of the ‘culprits’!
Of
course there were ‘unfamiliar faces’ on the bench and the pitch with ‘Big Fat
Sam’, Joey Barton and ‘Roza’ Rozehnal aall makin’ their Toon ‘debuts’.
Both
Martins and Carroll came close, and debutant Barton had a divin’ heeder which
went narrowly wide, but apart from this the forst half petered oot. Shay Given
who was defendin’ the Toon’s goal at the Rink End had nowt to de, apart from
watchin’ the odd cloud pass owerheed!
The
second period was much better fare but unfortunately for us it was ‘The Monkey
Hangers’ who took the lead in the 49th minute when James Brown (no!---not
the one who thinks he can sing!) beat Harper who had replaced Given in goal.
However!---the
lead was short lived as Dyer fed a baall to Shola Ameobi who had come on at
half time, and he rounded their keeper to poke the baall into an empty net.
Shola,
who’d had a hip operation in the close season, ran to the Toon fans behind the
goal and they responded with chants of:--- “HE’S GOT A BRAND NEW HIP!”.
This
brought a wry smile from the ‘big man’ as he punched the air in delight!
Then
on the hour mark, lang haired James Troisi slotted the baall to somebody
caalled Michael Owen? and he gleefully converted the chance to give him his
forst goal since he scored a hat-trick at West Ham just before Xmas 2005!
(was
it reeely that! lang ago???)
Shola
then completed the scorin’ for the neet in the 72nd minute when
‘Lang haired Jim’ played the baall to him and he fired home after their keeper
fumbled the baall and was unable to stop it gannin’ ower the line.
More
‘hip’ chants then followed alang with: “Shepherd for Durham!” (wot cud! they mean???)
Ootside
the groond on the final whistle, ‘John the Badge’ was deein’ a roarin’ trade
sellin’: ‘Another fine mess!’---‘Freddy’s off to Jail!’, tee-shirts
which showed a photo of ‘yee naa who’ wearin’ a ‘Oliver Hardy’ hat!
The
crazy world of Newcastle United NEVA!
fails to amaze me!!!!
“Aaltogether now!”---
♫Yi put your
left hip in!---♫Yi put your left hip
out!♫---
♫Yi do the
‘Ameobi’!♫---and yi shake
it all about!♫♫♫
©Fink™
(the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)
