THE BLADE RUNNERS 2 THE TOON 2 *** PRE-SEASON FRIENDLY 2015-2016 (Chris Morgan testimonial)

Posted '9:35am bells' Munday 27th July 2015

1st half action az The Toon attack 'The Kop End'
(We are in the dark strip)

Pre-season friendlies are notoriously bad to judge just wot will happen when the real action starts, but we cannit help feel that after yet another lack-lustre display yesterday dinnaatime in rainy Sheffield against 3rd tier opposition, that it will another hard season aheed!

We hit the bar orly on through Cisse, but then after this iz waz aall Sheff U az they had several chances to take the lead with a number of glarin' misses in front of the 3,000 Toon fans packed behind that goal!

However!---it waz 'us' who took the lead in the 40th minute when new boy Ginio Wijnaldum fired in a re-bound from 20 yards oot to give us an undeserved lead!

Sheff U soon levelled things orly in the 2nd half when McNulty had the easy task of beatin' Krul in The Toon goal after he was put clean through!

2nd half action in front of The Toon fans

De Jong restored wor lead with 10 mins to gan when he flicked the baall into the net from a corner by Colback to send 'the faithful' wild with delight behind the goal!

Again, the home side came back az the rain bleached doon from the grey skies, when Freeman vollied an unstoppable shot past Krul with barly 2 mins left on the clock!---and that's the way it ended!

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Steve Taylor (Lascelles 69), Haidera, Anita (Obertan 59), Colback (Gouffran 88), Sissoko (Abeid 79), Wijnaldum (De Jong 73), Perez (Aarons 46), Cisse (Armstrong 79)

Attendance: 12,002 ?   (3,000 Toon fans) ^^^^^^^^^^

"12,002 ---yi havin' a laff!"

The pre-match 'gargels' took place here!

THE BLADE RUNNERS v THE TOON *** PRE-SEASON FRIENDLY FIXTURE 2015-2016

Posted '12:46pm bells' Saturday 25th July 2015

Tomorrow dinnaatime we make the 120 mile trip doon the A1/M1 for a testimonial game against Sheff U at Bramall Lane for 'one' Chris Morgan?

Originally this game waz aall ticket BUT Sheff U have now put on pay gates @ the visitors end ---priced @ £15 for big kids and just a fiver for sprogs and zimmerframeites 

Runoots for £27 million new boys Ginio Wijnaldum (£14 mill) and Alek Mitrovic (£13 mill) are expected!

In an interview Mitrovic was asked if he waz lookin' forward to the derby match against sund'lind, to which he genuinely replied:
"WHO'S sund'lind???"  <(A Toon 'legend' aalready!)

We will be travellin' doon in *Big Al's 'jam jar' (*NOT the sheet metal workers son!) for the '1:00 bells' kick off and a full match report will appear here sometime on Munday!

The forst time we visited Bramall Lane waz some 43 years ago and we make ne apologeeez for diggin' up the 'classic' archive match report from that game, yet again!--- which iz printed below.
Ground number 22 --- "April Fool---The Judge is a Geordie!"

JONG UTRECHT 1 THE TOON RESORVES 2 *** TOUR OF HOLLAND 2015

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 24th July 2015

The second of the 'second strings' 'tour of Holland' took place last neet and we won 2-1 against Utrecht's feeder club' in the town of Rheden
Dutch trialist Dani Koks got both wor goals in the 2nd half and sole Toon groundhopper 'Glennn from Ashington' waz there to chalk off anothaa groond on the never endin' 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' list!

Glennn retorns to the UK for Sunday's forst team friendly against Sheff U @ Bramall Lane and will MISS the last 2 games on the Holland tour az they clash with the Sheff U and York games!

"YI cant be in 2 places at the same time" iz the old 'Geordie Times' adage!  

VITESSE ARNHEM RESORVES 4 THE TOON RESORVES 3 **** HOLLAND TOUR 2015

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 23rd July 2015

EXTREEEMLEEE MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPIN' NEWS!

Just like the forst team in America on Wednesday mornin', The Toon U21s lost 4-3 to Vitesse Arnhem resorves in the Dutch town of Driel a few hours orlier!

The goalscorers for The Toon were Dan Barlaser ,Liam Smith and Dani Koks and 'Glennn from Ashington' waz the one and anly 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper' there to witness it!

Toneet Glennn iz off to Rheden where we are takin' on Utrecht's second string!---He retorns home by BUS late toneet via Calais and hopes to be back for the Sheff U forst team game on Sunday <(hope he doesn't get held up by the asylum seekers or French strikers who have blockaded the port!)

PORTLAND TIMBERS 2 <(RESORVES!) 4 THE TOON 3 ***** 'WOT MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS TOUR ' 2015

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 22nd July 2015

"TOON GET CHOPPED DOON IN TIMBERLAND!"

Yet anothaa inepet display!----this time against a THORD division American RESORVE side in the State of Oregon on a plastic pitch!

Some of wor players didn't 'fancy that' and a makeshift team waz sent oot instead to avoid any unnecessary injuries' <(so why? OH WHY? did we agree to play on 'drastic plastic'???) 

WE went aheed through new boy Ginio Wijnaldum fired in a centre from Rolando Aarons in the 7th minute---but this iz az good az it got az Timbers Resorves started choppin' doon The Toon's defence with 3 goals in the space of just 17 mad minutes!

It got worse in the 2nd half and at one stage we were 4-1 doon when Besler wheeled the 'axe' and heeded home!

A fight back then happened and 2 goals from Aarons brought the scoreline back to 4-3 ---the forst a owerheed bicycle kick and the 2nd 'in off the bar'--- but it waz tooo little tooo late and we suffered wor 2nd defeat in 3 in this wor final game of 'the tour'!

Attendance: well below the 22,000 capacity (includin' the 3 Bs'---Biffa, Blondie and Bysy)

GEORDIE TIMES KRYPTIK QUIZ NUMBER ONE

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 21st July 2015










Wot have Clint Eastwood and Sepp Blatter got in common? (Scroll doon the page for the answer!)



"IT'S ALL MINE!!!"



WAR-CHEST LATEST!

Posted '11:40am bells' Tuesday 21st July 2015

ALEK POSES WITH THE OBLIGATORY TOON SCARF @ SJP ORLIER TODAY
('GEORDIE TIMES' EXCLUUUSIVE!) 

 
Some more good news!---The NUFC 'war-chest' haz been prized open again and £13 million haz been taken oot to sign 20 year old Serbian International centre forward Alek Mitrovic from Anderlecht of Belgium!

He iz expected to make hiz Toon debut against Sheff U this comin' Sunday @ Bramall Lane!
This takes wor total 'spend' to £27 million after the signin' of Ginio Wijnaldum last week!

Meeenwhile the forst team are in action before that in America, when we take on Portland Timbers RESORVES! in the orly hour of tomorrow mornin' in the last of wor 'Wot Made Milwaukee Famous Tour' of the USA

Full match report on 'that' sometime tomorrow afternooon!


PS: The U21s are in Holland at the mo and will play Vitesse Arnhem resorves in the town of Driel toneet @ '7 bells'

'The Geordie Times' thought aboot gannin', but az the game waz arranged  just last week, it waz too late to de anything and arrange time off graft! 
'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' WILL be represented though!--- az 'Glennn from Ashington' haz travelled there by BUS late last neet from London! <(He haz NEVER flown in hiz life---and NEVER will do!)

SACRAMENTO REPUBLIC 0 THE TOON 1 **** 'WOT MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS TOUR' 2015

Posted '11:32am bells' Sunday 19th July 2015

Anothaa lack-lustre performance from The Toon in the orly hours of this mornin' (GMT)---but a win at least!---even if it waz an own goal from a Sacramento defender that won it for us!

Those who watched it on-line @ 4 this mornin' on their computaaz etc <(NOT me! 'Too many 'gargels' last neet!---"ZZZZzzzz!!!!") were not impressed with this display and wor new heed coach now naaz the problems that nearly got us relegated last season---Tooo many average players who are past their 'sell by' date---and yet anly ONE signin' so far---Ginio Wijnaldum, who came on at the mid-point of the 2nd half, just after Haidera waz sent off for a reckless high challenge on a Sacramento player!

The anly goal came in the 48th minute when a certain James Kiffe wellied the baall inexplicably past hiz own keeper after pressure from Haidera, who had crossed the baall into the box for Cisse

One more game to gan on 'the tour'---against THIRD division Portland Timber RESORVES!----(we certainly pick high quality opposition to play--don't we?) <(Sacramento aalso play in the THIRD TIER of American futbaall, but at least it waz their FORST team that we played!)

Attendance: 11,442 (includin' the '3 B's'---'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer', 'Biffa the Beer' and 'Byzy' from Ashington)

(PS: 'Blondie' said he would send us some match fotos---but he hazzent yet?---the drunken useless bustard must by sendin' them by carrier pigeon!?)

SACRAMENTO REPUBLIC v THE TOON **** SOMETIME AFTER THE MIDNIGHT HOUR!

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 18th July 2015

"THERE'LL BE SOME 'BONNY STATES'
IN 'BONNEY FIELD'!"

In the orly hours of tomorrow mornin' 'The Toon' take on American 3rd Division side Sacramento Republic in Sacramento, Califonia, in the 2nd game of wor 'Wot kept Milwaukee Famous Tour 2015'.

Havin' lost the forst game 2-1 against Mexican side Club Atlas in Milwaukee, we hope to re-group and beat (wot iz effectively) a non league club by English standards. <(however they DID beat 'the mackems' in a friendly orlier on this week!)
New boy Ginio Wijnaldum iz expected to make hiz Toon debut in the Californian sunshine! <(not sure wot time the sun gans doon there?)
'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' haz promised to try <(he failed last time!) and send us some pix on hiz mobile 'tellin bone' of the match <(we shall see!?)
Sacramento play @ 'Bonney Field' and we are absolutleee certain that 'Blondie Alan' and Co. will be in a 'bonny state' with the 'liquid lubrication' come kick off time!
The game, by the way, iz a complete selloot and aall 11,000 tickets have been sold!

A full results service will appear in 'The Geordie Times' sometime tomorrow!---az per usual---watch this space!

RIP JOHN 'THE UNDERTAKER' AND LIAM 'FROM THE LAMP'!

Updated '11:44am bells' Friday 17th July 2015

Today iz a very sad day indeed for aall NUFC fans, for this iz the day last year that wor great friends John 'The Undertaker' and Liam 'from the Lamp' lost their lives on the MH17 flight to the far east, where they were gannin' to watch 'The Toon' play in New Zealand

Their plane was shot doon ower the Ukraine and alang with them anothaa 296 people aalso tragically lost their lives!

We are gannin' to 'The Newcastle Arms' and 'The Strawberry' next to St James' Park for a few drinks in their memory this afternoon and aall are welcome to come and join us!
Aalso on Saturday afternoon many more are tornin' oot in their memory

RIP John and Liam---yoo will NEVER be forgotten by us!


Updated Saturday mornin'

We had a few drinks in 'The Newcastle Arms' and 'The Strawberry' in their memory and then laid a black and a white rose at the 'Alder Sweeney Memorial Garden' @ St James' Park

LOST BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!