100,000 FANS IN TOON!---AND 100 YEARS OF DERBY VIOLENCE!

Posted '2:20pm bells' Monday 15th April 2013

In the aftermath of 'Derby Disaster Day' the heedlines on the national news and papers were NOT of the action on the pitch, but the reaction off it after the match!

Two papers, The Daily Mail and 'The Ronny-Gill' have printed reports on the violence aall ower the city centre, az fans spilled onto the streets from the groond and the pubs that were showin' the game.

'The Mail' gans on to say that the trouble @ Wembley the day before by Millwaall fans waz because of the '5:15 bells' kick off az fans had plenty of time to 'fuel up' with drink before the game!
Therefore, they argue, the game should have started much orlier to stop this!

Wor game kicked off @ 'high noon bells' of course and there waz loads of trouble so this theory 'doesn't wash'!

The truth iz that most of the trouble waz caused by 'fans' who were 'fuelled up' in the 200 or so pubs and clubs in the city and beyond which were showin' the game live and NOT those who were actually AT the game.
That's 50,000 Toon fans at the match and 50,000 others watchin' it on 'Sky'!

The SMBs wernt blameless eethaa az they hoyed smoke bombs and flares from 'level 7' into the Toon section below them in The Leazes End.
One disabled Toon fan in a wheelchair waz burned by one of the flares which hit him az he watched the match!

They'll NEVER stop fans drinkin' before the match, no matter wot time they kick off!
I got a text message on Saturday for example, tellin' me that a certain pub in the Gatesheed area waz openin' @ '7:30 bells' on the mornin' of the game and that 'jack the rippers' would be providin' the 'entertainment'!<(the text message waz off a lass!---who shall remain nameless!)

Other pubs opened LEGALLY @ '9:00 bells' in the city centre and most of the others opened @ '10'

We at 'The Geordie Times' wish the trouble had never occured, but az waz proved yesterday, switchin' the kick off time to 'high noon bells' DOESN'T work and that they may as well start it at '3 bells' az most fans would wish!<(me thinx they'll NEVER completly stop the violence az it's been gannin on for ower 100 years!)
(see below!)


"WHERE WAZ YOUR GREAT GREAT GRANDFAATHAA ON GOOD FRIDAY 1901?"
 
*There waz a much worse derby riot on Good Friday 1901 when drunken fans invaded the St James' Park pitch, tornin' it into a ploughed field and rippin' the goal posts doon!---which forced the match to be abandoned!

One Toon fan waz SO drunk that he fell oot of the grandstand which nearly collapsed!
A sund'lind fan who waz beaten up by half crazed rival fans sued Newcastle for hiz money back, but lost hiz case and had to pay £70 costs!<(a considerable sum in those days!

THAT'S REET!---NINETEEN 'O' ONE! 
ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE YEARS AGO!

*Extracts taken from: 'The Football Grounds of  England and Wales'  

60,000 THANKOOOZ!

Posted '10:25am bells' Monday 15th April 2013

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

It's time to 'move on' from wor 'Disasterous Derby Display' yesterday and concentrate on next Saturdays game @ The Hawthorns when we play 'The Baggie Troosers of West Brom!

Forst of aall though, we must thank wor loyal reeeders from aroond the world (and beyond!) for takin' wor total pageviews past the SIXTY THOOSAND mark at the weekend!

The Top Ten Countries are az follows:

1 UK (England, Scotland, Northern Ireland & Wales) 31,110
2 USA 9,753
3 Ukraine 2,427
4 China 1,320
5 Jawmany 1,251
6 The Guinness Republic 941
7 Rushaa 843
8 Spain 703
9 Greece 683
10 France 443

Total pageviews from the 134 countries and territories who have logged onto this site @ '10:25am bells' 60,313<(includin' Mars!)



 
Gettin' back to wor next game, we can anly hope that the two FA Cup finalists, 'The Blue Moonies' v 'The Blue Wigs' Leegue game this comin' Wednesday, ends in a win for the home side, coz if it doesn't we could be in the sh*t by Saturday!

More to follow on yet anothaa 'must win game' for 'us', az the week progresses!

THE TOON 0 THE SMBs 3

Posted '9:40pm bells' Sunday 14th April 2013

"A BLACK DAY IN WOR HISTORY!"

"SMBs TAKIN' THE P*SS!"
(A WELL KNOWN BOOZER'S 'TOOL-SHED'  
NEAR SJP BEFORE THE MATCH!)

It haz been very hard to write this report, but write it we will!

A totally inept performance from 'the black n whites' @ St James' this afternoon haz put us back in 'the abyss', when a win would have banished aall fears of it!

We simply didn't play, once again, and it pains me to say it, but the SMBs were the better team in both halves!

Oot of the thoosand plus games a'v watched 'The Toon',  this gans into the top ten of disasterous defeats that a'v ever witnessed!

It waz obvious from the word 'go' that it would be a tough afternoon az the SMBs fought for every baall, az we lost wor way, with many of wor passes gannin astray!

They took the lead in the 27th minute when the baall waz given away by Gutierrez and Sessegnon beat Tim Krul in the Toon goal @ The Gallowgate End.

It stayed that way til the break and at half time 'The Toon' threw on wor 'ace card' in the shape of Shola Ameobi, who haz scored seven goals against the SMBs in recent derbys between the two clubs, but it waz to 'ne avail'.

Tim Krul waz led off with a dislocated shoulder not lang after the restart, to be replaced by Rob Elliot and this proved to be the 'beginnin of the end' for us!

Soon after this, Demba Cisse put the baall into the roof of the net @ The Gallowgate End after fine work from Marveaux, but yet again for the 3rd time in fower days, hiz effort waz disallowed for offside, when clearly, he waz 'on'!

The visitors doubled their lead in the 74th minute through Johnson and it waz effectively 'game ower' at this point!
It waz soon 3-0 to add to wor misery when Vaughan put the game beyond us with less than 10 minutes to gan!

A 'black day' in wor lang history and one we won't forget in a lang time!<(get the 'black armbands' oot!)

Toon team: Krul (Elliot 57), Debuchy, Steve Taylor, Yanga, Gutierrez, Marveaux, Tiote, Cabaye (Ben Arfa 62), Gouffran (Shola Ameobi 46), Sissoko, Cisse

Attendance: 52,355 (2,700 SMBs)  

THE TOON v THE FASCIST DWARF'S SMBs ***'HIGH NOON BELLS' TOOODAY!

Posted '8:15am bells' Sunday 14th April 2013

In exactleee 3 and 3qwaataa hours time from now, wor biggest Leegue game of the season kicks off, when we play 'The Fascist Dwarf's X1' @ St James' Park in the now usual 'high noon bells shootout'!

Just why the local 'dibble' make us kick off at this ridiculous time iz open to debate----aa meeen!, some bars in 'The Toon' are openin' legally @ 'NINE BELLS' this mornin', so the idea of stoppin' people drinkin' by havin' an orly start IZ a 'non starter' anyway!  

'The Geordie Times' can excluuusivleee reveal that Steve Taylor will defiantleee! be in the startin' line up, az told to us by wor 'secret club sauce'!
Mathiau Debuchy, Yohan Gouffran and Cheik Tiote are expected to play az well and we understand that Hatem Ben Arfa will be on the subs bench!

A win would take us EIGHT points clear of thoze who survive on benefits 12 miles south of the Tyne and Premyaa Leegue safty would surely be secured if this happens!

The 'dibble' have warned that facsist salutes by anyone will result in instant arrest, which will surely put that idea in to the heeds of anyone who hadn't thought of that!<(Aa wonder if this includes a certain Italian fascist dwarf, who will be rantin' and ravin' in the 'Away' dugoot!???)

A full match report will follow much later az per usual!

THE TOON 1 THE TEAM FROM THE 'PROPAA' STADIUM OF LIGHT 1 (BENFICA WIN 4-2 on AGGREGATE)

Posted '4:10pm bells' Friday 12th April 2013

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END
(1st half) (View from row 'Y' Middle Tier)

TWO! disallowed goals from Demba Cisse in this game plus his TWO! shots that hit the post last week in Lisbon, (but rebounded oot!), ultimately cost us this tie and we are heartbreakingleee oot of Europe for another year and a qwaata at least!<(due to the fact that wor current Premyaa Leegue position means we have 'ne chance' of qualifyin' for Europe next season!)

'The Geordie Times'z' 113th competitive European game 'in a row'<(and the last, for a while!) started off with the visitors the brighter of the two teams and they nearly scored orly on when Lima went close with Toon goalie Tim Krul stranded. Then Haidara saved the day for us with a clearance from a Gaitan effort, az Benfica went for the 'jugular'!

We simply couldn't get started and several passes went astray in the forst period az the clock ticked doon. Cisse waz then denied a goal just before the break @ 'The Leazes End' az the linesman flagged him for offside!

The second half waz much better from wor point of view and we went 'hell for leather' to reduce the 3-1 deficit from the forst leg az the crowd got behind the team.
Again, Demba Cisse foond the back of the net @ 'The Gallowgate End', but he waz denied once again by 'the liner'!

THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END
(2nd half)

Cisse DID eventually get onto the scoresheet when he tapped in a simple effort with 20 minutes to gan to send 50,000 Geordies wild with delight, az the linesmans flag stayed doon!

A 2-0 scoreline would give us the tie under the 'away goals rule' but we couldn't get the second goal. Ben Arfa who had came on az sub nearly 'did it', but his fine shot dipped ower the bar az the minutes ran doon!
And then at 'the death' Benfica's Salvio fired in unmarked to put the tie beyond us az the 1,500 'Propaa' Stadium of Light Brigaders' celebrated in 'level 7' above us!

A fair result against a great team, but wor thoughts torned to the two chalked off goals, which could have put us through to the 'semis' and a trip 'TO HELL' against Torkish side Fenebache!

That's 20,000 miles we have travelled this season in Europe, from Greece to Madiera to France to Belgium to Ukraine to Rushaa and finally to Portugal!< (and groond number 300 off the 'mad-sad' groundhoppers' list!)
The Euro trophy dream iz ower---for anothaa TWO YEARS at least!<(and aa didn't need to gan to Durham Passport Office to 'fast track' a new passport eethaa!) (see below!) 

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Haidara (Marveaux 67), Yanga, Williamson, Cabaye, Bigiramana (Shola Ameobi 46), Anita (Ben Arfa 63), Cisse, Sissoko, Gutierrez

Attendance: 52,157 (1,500 Benficans!) 

THE TOON v THE TEAM FROM THE 'PROPAA' STADIUM OF LIGHT! ***TOOONEET!

Updated '12:50pm bells' Thorsday 10th April 2013

Yet again we must switch wor attention between the domestic scene, to the European scene, when we welcome the great Benfica of Lisbon to St James' Park toneet for the 2nd leg of wor Europaa Leegue qwaata final tie!
(The game kicks off @ '8:05 bells' and iz live on ITV4)

Followin' wor dramatic win against 'The Wacko Jackos' of Fulham on Sunday (see below!) we are on 'a high' once again in the run up to this game!

It won't be easy az we of course lost the forst leg
3-1 @ 'The 'Propaa' Stadium of Light' last week<('Estadio Da Luz' in their lingo!) but dafter things have happened in the past! <(like on Sunday gone!) and we will be 'up for it' in wot will be a selloot 52,000 plus crowd!<(divvint naa how many Benfica have sold?)

Several of wor players like Demba Cisse and Steve Taylor and former players like Bob Moncur and 'Fat Boy' Quinn'<(az opposed to 'Fat Boy Slim'!) have been writin' in the local 'rag' that the tie iz far from ower az far az they're concorned!<(Lets hope they're reet!)

THE BACK PAGE OF WEDNESDAY'S 'RONNY-GILL'!

A white hot atmosphere awaits them and if we de get through to the semi-finals, aa'll have to rush to the passport office in Durham on Friday to renew mee passport, which runs oot soon!<(A'v aalready 'pre-booked' an appointment with them for 'high noon bells', to 'fast track' mee application, just in case we DE get through!)<(fingers and toes crossed!)

Update Friday mornin' 11th April
Unfortunatly, av been caalled into work unexpectedleee and have got to gan to Glasgow and will not be able to put the Benfica report online til late on Friday afternoon!    

GEORDIE TIMES 'EXCLUUUSIVE' PHOTOS FROM WOR GAME AGAINST 'THE WACKO JACKO JIVERS' OF FULHAM!

Posted 'high noon bells' Monday 8th April 2013



CISSE (extreme right of pic) SCORES THE WINNIN' GOAL!

 

CISSE JUMPS INTO THE CROWD TO CELEBRATE!

 



WOR MANAGER AALSO JUMPS INTO THE CROWD,
CLAIMIN' LATER THAT SOMEBODY HAD
'HALF-INCHED' HIZ KEYS!
(Note the blonde lass in red, gannin' for
hiz back pocket!)<"STOP THIEF"!

 

ANOTHER VIEW OF CISSE'S WINNER!
(on deck in centre of pic!)

MATCH REPORT BELOW!

 



THE TOON 1 THE WACKO JACKO JIVERS 0

Posted '7:15am bells' Monday 8th April 2013

"FROM AGONY TO ECSTASY!"

"THE TOON ATTACK 'THE GALLOWGATE END'
DURIN' THE 2nd HALF!" (View from The Milburn Stand balcony)

A dour forst half and news that the SMBs were winnin @ Chelski and that QPR had had a player sent off against Wigan, filtered through to the 'faithful', az we contemplated the fact that, shud we lose, we could be one point behind the SMBs, come the crucial derby game @ St James' next Sunday @ 'high noon bells' and equal with Wigan shud they win!

Really, we didn't get oot of the blocks in the forst period and a nil-nil scoreline looked on the cards az we couldn't break doon the away sides defence and looked unlikely to do so!

The 2nd half waz much better az we attacked 'The Gallowgate End'. Vurnon Anita had a shot which deflected onto the crossbar in the 53rd minute but the baall went ower the bar, rathaa than into the net!
Then, at the mid point of the half we hit the post TWICE in the space of a few seconds when Cabaye's heeder struck the upright and reboonded oot to Cisse, who's shot aalso struck the same post but, cruelly reboonded oot again! (the FIFTH time we had hit the goal frame and not scored in the last two games, includin' the two which hit the post against Benfica last Thorsday in Lisbon!) 

Just when it looked az though we would have to settle for a point and contemplate bein' equal thord bottom, up stepped Demba Cisse in the thord minute of injury time to poke the baall home @ 'The Gallowgate End' and win the game for 'The Toon'!---(The thord home game in a row that Cisse had won it for us in stoppage time!)<(the othaa two were against Stoke and Anzi!)

When he scored I swear the roof lifted off the groond az a deafenin' noise of relief and justice enveloped the stands!
Wor manager then jumped into the crowd in unbridled joy (and lost hiz keys in the process!), while Cisse waz booked for AALSO dein' the same thing!---such waz the emotion of the moment!

News then filtered through that the SMBs had lost 2-1 and that Wigan had anly drawn against the ten men of QPR which meens that we are now FIVE points above 'the abyss' instead of bein' 'in it'!

Surelee there iz ne othaa game like futbaall, to change your feelings of 'agony' one minute to 'ecstasy' the next!?

Toon team: Krul, Simpson (Campbell 80), Santon (Anita 17), Steven Taylor, Yanga, Gutierrez, Cabaye, Marveaux, Gouffran (Shola Ameobi 69), Sissoko.

Attendance: a magnificent 51,847 includin' 502 'Wacko Jackos' from Fulham

Fixture and results section just updated---see top tool bar and 'click' <(23 days late!)

THE TOON v THE WACKO JACKO JIVERS ***THIS AFTERNOON!

Updated '9:05am bells' Sunday 7th April 2013


"WOR 'VIEW'? FROM CRAVEN COTTAGE IN
WOR GAME THERE, ORLIER THIS SEASON!"
(We lost 2-1!)

We must torn wor attention away, once again, from wor exploits in Europe to the domestic scene, when we take on 'The Wacko Jacko Jivers' of Fulham @ St James' this afternoon @ '3 bells' in a non televised game<(unless yi watch it on one of the 'dodgy' channels!---like!)

Yet again it's a MUST WIN game az we are just 3 points above 'the abyss' az aa write this az again some results went against us yesterday!

Yohan Gouffran retorns to the squad aftaa missin' oot in Lisbon and Cheik Tiote iz aalso expected to retorn, while Danny Simpson iz 50/50 to play!
However!---current injuries to Ben Arfa, Debuchy, Haidara, Ryan Taylor and Vuckic meen that we will have fewaa to pick from once again!

Match report (az per usual) to follow later
Tomorrow mornin' sometime?

THE PROPAA STADIUM of LIGHT BRIGADE v THE TOON ***TOMORROW NEET @ '8:05 BELLS'!

Updated '5:05am bells' Wednesday 3rd April 2013


THE STADIUM OF LIGHT!<^(THE 'PROPAA' ONE!)


The build up to wor massive game against Benfica @ 'The Propaa Stadium of Light' in Lisbon<('Estadio Da Luz' in their lingo!) starts 'now'! az we prepare to travel to the Portugese capital this mornin' and a total of 3,800 tickets have been sold to Toon fans az we speak!

19 Toon players will travel to Lisbon and they are:
Krul, Elliot, Santon, Simpson, Perch, Yanga, Steve Taylor, Williamson, Anita, Sissoko, Cabaye, Gosling, Marveaux, Obertan, Gutierrez, Bigirimana, Shola Ameobi, Cisse and Campbell

Benfica are unbeaten in 24 Portugese Leegue fixtures and have scored ower 100 goals this season and won 6-1 against Rio Ave on Saturday az we were gettin' 'twanked' 4-0 in Mancland!
Oot of the eight teams left in the competition we are SIXTH favorites to win it, with the latest odds az follows:

The Chelski Pensioners 9/4
Sporz 11/4
The Propaa Stadium of Light Brigade 4/1
Di Canio's Lazio Fascists 13/2
Fenerbache 12/1
THE TOON 14/1
Ruban Kazan 16/1
The Basel Fawltys 33/1

In othaa words, they divvint give us much chance of winnin' it, but dafter things have happened in the past, like winnin' The Fairs Cup in 1969 against aall the odds aftaa finish TENTH in the 'then' Forst Division to qualify!

Of course! this will be 'The Geordie Times'z 300th groond watchin' the Toon<(if  'The mad-sad groundhopper' makes it!) and aa carnt think of a more fittin' place to 'de the triple ton', than the 'Real' Stadium of Light', in Lisbon! 

Az per usual wor faithful computaa will gan into hibernation (yet agen!) for a couple of days in a few minutes and will 're-awake' sometime on Friday to bring 'YOO'---wor loyal reeeders a compreeehensive match and trip report ! "ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz!!!!!"