THE BAD BLUE BOYS v STAVELEY MINERS------- FA VASE SEMI FINAL---TODAY!

Updated '8:30am bells' Saturday 24th March 2012

Az we divvint play 'til Sunday afternoon away to 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom, centre stage this afternoon will be in Dunston!, where a certain FA Vase semi final iz takin' place @ '3 bells', with a trip to WEMBLEY! in the final the 'carrot' to progress!


This iz the forst leg of the two legged semi final with the second leg takin' place in Staveley (near Chesterfield) the followin' Saturday and iz the biggest game in Dunston's history!

A good crowd iz anticipated @ Federation Park (aka: UTS Stadium) and 'The Bad Blue Boys' (they play in aall blue!) expect at least SIX times their normal gate of aroond 180!
There's a clubhoose to 'tickle your tonsils' and quensh your thirst before and after the match, so there's NE EXCUSE! for NOT gannin!
The game is NOT aall ticket and admission iz six quid for big kids and three quid for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

It's anly a *TEN MINUTE bus ride from The Eldon Square bus station in the Toon (*dependin' on the traffic!) and busses, 11,31,43,44,45,46 and 47 can be caught (get off at 'The Mechanics Club' on the way to The Metro Centre---the groond iz at the top of the next road)

*For those of yoo who divvint naa, Dunston are a non league club who play in The Northern League, (which iz the 2nd oldest league in the world, behind The Footbaall League) which iz at 'level 9' (division 9) in the English pyramid system.

The FA Vase iz a cup for clubs at this level and doon to 'level 11'.
Higher level non league clubs like Gatesheed (level 5) play in the FA Trophy for the 'Wembley prize'!

'Az the drunken magpie fly's', Dunston's groond iz approx 2 miles from St James' Park<(and aalways will be!) and when both teams are at home on the same day it iz reputed that the Dunston fans know when The Toon have scored as they can here the roar of the crowd from across the Tyne!



The Geordie Times will be there and post a match report for this special game later tooneet!

PREMYA LEEGUE TABLE---LATEST!

Updated '11:45pm bells' Thorsday 22nd March 2012

THE PREMYA LEAGUE TABLE @ '10:00pm bells' Wednesday 21st March 2012

1 Man U---played: 29---points: 70
2 Man C 29/69
3 Spors 29/54
4 The Arse 29/55
5 Chelski 29/49
6 THE TOON 29/47
7 The Liverbirds 29/42
8 Swanzee 29/39
9 SMBs 29/37
10 Everton 29/37
11 Stoke 29/37
12 Fulham 29/36
13 WBA 29/36
14 Norwich 29/36
15 Villa 28/33
16 Blackborn 29/28
17 QPR 29/25
18 Bolton 28/23
19 Wigan 29/22
20 Wolves 29/22

The reality iz!-- we are in SIXTH position, FIVE points aheed of 'The Liverbirds' and anly TWO points behind Chelski in fifth place and SEVEN points behind thord placed Spors, with anly NINE games to gan!

To GUARANTEE a place in The Europa League we must finish in FIFTH position.
SIXTH may be good enough, dependin' on which teams reach the FA Cup final, az the losin' finalists could qualify, shud the winners be in 'The Champions League' (we'll just have to wait and see!)

The Liverbirds are the ANLY team so far to qualify for a Europa League place by virtue of winnin' the League Cup (three Europa League places are up for grabs in total!)

If yoo said that a Europa League/Champions League place waz possible for The Toon at the start of the season, then yoo would have been classed insane!

It's NOT a lang way to gan nuw, and if we can keep the pressure up, then a top FIVE finish iz NOT oot of the question! (a top FOWER finish now looks highly unlikeleee az we are EIGHT points adrift of a 'Champions League place'!)

THE TOON RESORVES 2 CHELSKI RESORVES 4

Posted '5:55am bells' Wednesday 21st March 2012

In front of just 400 fans The Toon lost 4-2  against Chelsea's equivellent in a resorve match at Blue Flames, Benton last neet! (aka Whitley Park)

The goals: The visitors took the lead in the 17th minute from the penalty spot when Alnwick in The Toon goal needlessly pulled doon Lukaku who duly covorted the spot kick.

We levelled things 5 minutes later when Donaldson hit a fine effort home.

The Pensioners retook the lead in the 39th minute when Chalobah heeded a corner into the net.

In the 55th minute it was 3-1 to them when Clifford fired home.

It was 4-1 soon after when Lukaku got his 2nd with a low shot.

The Toon got a consolation goal late on, when Henderson shot from close range.

That's SIX league games in a row now withoot a win for wor second string!

THE TOON 1 THE CANARY CUSTARD CRUMBLES 0

Posted '8:20pm bells' Sunday 18th March 2012

A fantastic strike from Demba Cisse @ The Leazes End in the 11th minute from a 'Fab' Coloccini cross was enough to seal the victory and the valueable three points for 'the black 'n'  whites' @ St James' Park<(and aalways will be!) this afternoon in wot was a scrappy game to say the least.

CISSE CELEBRATES HIZ WINNIN' GOAL!

The Toon were the better team throughoot, but the visitors did have a few chances, of which one was fantastically tipped ower the bar by Tim Krul in the second half and we managed to 'haad oot' this time for the victory.

'The Custard Crumbles', who had a 2,000 followin' in 'Level 7', sang: "Come on yoo yellows!" throughoot the match, despite the fact that they wore their GREEN! change strip! (are they f*****' colour blind or wot???)
("Er!"---the anly thing that was 'yellow' for them was the THREE ' yellow cards' the ref brandished to them durin' the match!)

The win keeps us in sixth position in the Premya Leegue, just two points behind Chelski and a coverted European place is still on the cards! 

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Perch, Ben Arfa (Santon 64), Cabaye, Guthrie (Gosling 76), Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Shola Ameobi 69)
Attendance: 47,833 (2,000 colour blind canaries!)

'Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge' report to follow sometime tomorrow!

THE TOON v THE CANARY CUSTARD CRUMBLES ***** 'SKY' SUNDAY'!

Updated '9:40am bells' Sunday 18th March 2012

"THAT REMINDS ME DAD!---'THE GEORDIE TIMES
100 PUB CRAWL CHALLENGE' STARTS OFF
@ 'THE PITCHER AND PIANO' BAR ON THE QUAYSIDE
BEFORE THE NORWICH GAME!"----
OOH!---MEE FOOT!"

For the conveeenience of Norwich fans, this game will kick off @ '4 bells' this afternoon, just to make sure that they cannit get a train back to deepest 'Bernard Matthews Country'!---and they have 'SKY' telly to thank for this! (just like us on many! many! (many!) occasions this season!)
It isnt known yet just how many fans they are bringin' up---but we'll soon find oot!

'Wor 100 Pub Crawl Challenge' continues doon the quayside @ 'The Piano bar' (Pitcher and Piano) @ 'high noon bells', where we hope to de SIX new 'waaterin holes' before the game, which will take wor total up to a mooth 'waaterin hole' NINETY!

As usual, match (and pub crawl!) report to follow later toneet!

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE!----'PADDYS DAY' IN 'THE TOON'!

Posted '8:40pm bells' Saturday 17th March 2012

Here's two photo's of the tower blocks of Elswick, not too far from St James' Park <(and aalways will be!)

The forst one waz taken a 'while back' and the second one waz taken tooneet on 'Paddys Day'  (spot the difference!)

^ "A WHILE BACK!" ^

^ "AND TOONEET!" ^

THE TOON RESORVES 0 BLACKBORN TANDOORI CHICKEN ROVERS RESORVES 0 @ WHITLEY PARK---THIS AFTERNOON!

Updated 'Midneet bells' Thorsday 15th March 2012

BORE SNORE DRAW! 

This afternoon the resorves played Blackborn resorves @ Blue Flames, Benton (aka Whitley Park) in a 'one bells' dinnertime kick off.
Originally the game was to be played behind closed doors next door at Darsley Park but was switched last week for whatever reason?

It ended goal-less on a waam spring day and the closest we came to scorin' waz when Greg McDermott heeded against the bar orly in the second half!---apart from that the match wasn't much cop "ZZZzzzzzzz!!!"
Attendance: 309


Swanzee away tickets for Good Friday are on sale to season ticket holders (25 loyalty points at the moment) and WBA away tickets are still on sale for wor game there a week on Sunday (zero loyalty points)

PS: Az Moneybags City were knocked oot of the Europa Cup toneet, it meens that wor game against them will definately? be played on Sunday May 6th @ '2 bells' to avoid clashin' with the FA Cup final---unless! 'SKY' have otha ideas--like!

25,000 REASONS TO BELIEVE!----IZ THERE LIFE ON MARS!?

Posted '9:00pm bells' Wednesday 14th March 2012

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

This iz anotha 'historic'? day for 'The Geordie Times' az we have just received wor twenty fifth thoosandth hit @ preciseleee '8:37pm bells' and we thank each and every one of yoo for your loyal support in the last eighteen months (since we started dein' it seriousleee!

121 countries and territories aroond the planet, plus Mars! have now visited this site, with the latest countries bein' Ethiopia, Honduras, Sri Lanka, Bermuda and Armenia!---welcome to 'the nonsense-no nonsense' website for the *connoisseur! ("Er!"---or shud that be---'the no nonsense-nonsense website'???) 

*"Er!"--divvint naa wot connoisseur meenz---but!--it soonds good!)

"25,000 THANK YOOOZ!---
EARTH AND MARS!"

PREMYA LEEGUE LATEST TABLES/ATTENDANCE FIGURES

Updated '7:25pm bells Wednesday 14th March 2012

THE LEAZES END from LEAZES PARK

The latest leegue tables and average attendance figures for the premya leegue games are below with just ten games to gan.

1 Man U Played 28 Points 67
2 Man C 28/66
3 Spors 28/53
4 The Arse 28/52
5 Chelski 28/49
6 The Toon 28/44
7 Lpool 28/42
8 SMBs 28/37
9 Everton 28/37
10 Fulham 28/36
11 Swanzee 28/36
12 Norwich 28/36
13 Stoke 28/36
14 WBA 28/35
15 Villa 28/33
16 Blackborn 28/25
17 Bolton 28/23
18 QPR 28/22
19 Wolves 28/22
20 Wigan 28/21

Average attendances
1 Man U 75,366
2 The Arse 59,967
3 The Toon 49,411
4 Man C 47,037
5 Lpool 44,826
6 Chelski 41,545
7 SMBs 38,689
8 Spors 36,070
9 Villa 34,137
10 Everton 33,235
11 Stoke 27,211
12 Norwich 26,554
13 Wolves 25,671
14 Fulham 25,151
15 WBA 24,631
16 Bolton 23,391
17 Blackborn 22,068
18 Swanzee 19,971
19 Wigan 17,898
20 QPR 17,117

The average, average attendances are!: 34,497 

THE ARSE 2 THE TOON 1

Posted '2:50pm bells' Tuesday 13th March 2012

A last gasp goal deep into injury time spoiled the party for the 1,500 Toon faithful who were present @ 'The Em', to send us yem with ne points!

It had started off oh so well, when Hatem Ben Arfa put us in the lead in the 14th minute with a great run doon the right and he finished it off with a glorious shot to put us 1-0 up at the far end from us!

This produced wild celebration from the away section, but just az we were in the middle of that, up stepped Van Persie to wipe the smiles off wor faces with an equaliser straight from the restart!

Fellow Dutchmen Van Persie and Tim Krul in the Toon goal then had a runnin' argument for the rest of the game az Van Persie accused Krul of time wastin'!

In the second half 'The Arse' laid siege to Tim Krul's goal and we had survived this 'til the fifth minute of stoppage time. 
Just when it looked that we had secured a vital point against aall the odds, the home side, through Vermalaen, stabbed the baall into the net for the winner, to send us into deep dispair!

Van Persie then goaded Krul with a 'two-one' hand gesture and aall hell broke loose on the final whistle as both players were booked az both teams pushed and shoved each other az they made towards the tunnel!

There waz anly one thing for it!----and we heeded for Wetherspoons next to Highbury and Islington tube station for a few gargels of absolutleee cr*p beer! to drown wor sorrows!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Santon (Perch 46), Obertan (Shola Ameobi 61), Cabaye, Tiote (Guthrie 81), Gutierrez, Ben Arfa, Ba

Attendance:60,095 (1,500 Toon fans)