Date of First Visit: 2nd August 2014
Veltins Arena, Gelsenkirchen, Germany
Malaga (Spain) 3
Newcastle United 1 (Obertan)
Schalke 04 Cup
Attendance: 15,704 (800 Toon fans) (8 to 10 Malaga fans!)
"SPIRITS IN THE SKY TOUR OF JAWMANY 2014!"
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| BOTH JOHN AND LIAM ARE UP THERE SOMEWHERE! |
(Day One, Friday)
"THIS PLACE REELY 'TAX' THE BISCUIT!"
We started off wor jorney to Teesside at 'The Central' where we caught the train to Darlo and then onward by taxi to 'Smog Airport' (it waz ower £100 cheaper to fly to from there than from 'Toon Airport'!)
We went with heavy hearts az one of wor party of 4 , namely John 'The Undertaker' waz one of the victims of flight MH17 which got shot doon ower the Ukraine!
'Liam from the Lamp' who waz aalso with John on the ill fated flight, had been due to travel a different route to Jawmany and wor thoughts were with him az well!
On arrival at the airport we made straight for the 'check in' where a grumpy old gadgie demanded wor "Airport tax tickets!", az he snapped at 'Big Al' <(not! the sheet metal workers son!)
"Wot are yi on aboot --like?", replied Big Al
"You needed to pay £6 each for airport tax!" az he pointed towards a ticket machine in the distance!
(Toon Airport doesn't charge anythin'--by the way!)
We paid wor 'tax' <(robbin' bustards!) and made wor way in to the departure lounge.
There waz ne sign of a bar so we asked a lassie in a shop where it waz!
She pointed us in the reet direction but warned us that it waz FIFTEEN QUID to get into 'the lounge', but then it waz 'drink/eat az much az yoo like!
We still had nearly two hours til the flight left and so we heeded for 'the lounge'
The lassie who waz standin' at a desk just in side the door telt us that infact the price had just gone up that day and demanded TWENTY ONE QUID! to get in!!!! <(if this isn't daylight robbery then aa divvint naa wot iz!?)
"Stuff it!", we said to hor---"We'll just gan T total!"(or words to that effect!)
After bitin' wor nails for nearly two hours we finally left on wor forst flight to Amsterdam and then onwards to Dusseldorf where we were based!
After hoyin' wor bags in the Hotel Acon, we made a 'bee-line' for the 'old town' where aall the bars were!
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| ESPIRIT ARENA * FORTUNA DUSSELDORF |
It waz then back to the 'old town' to 'finish off' the day
A few West Ham were there and it looked az though it waz gannin' to 'kick off' az we made wor way aroond! (just why 'us' and 'The Jellied Eels Mob' were invited to this tournament iz puzzlin', az of course their iz still 'bad blood' between us from the fire bomb incident 34 years ago!)
A few liquid refreshments later and it waz time to heed back to the hotel and 'bedeee byes'! ---"ZZZZzzzz!!!!"---'Day One' ower!
('Day Two' Saturday)
"WISH A'D BROUGHT MEE BROLLY!"
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| "WHY DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN ON ME!?" |
Today's game which kicked off at '3:30 bells' waz the forst match in the Schalke 04 Tournament and wor opponents were Malaga of Spain. We started off the day with a continental brekky in the hotel consistin of (in my case!) some boiled ham and cheese, a bread bun and fower hard boiled eggs, washed doon with a bowl of cornflakes and milk! ("BBburrppp!")
A quick wash n brush up later and we were oot on 'the hoy' again in Dusseldorf centre. It waz then onward on a half hour train ride to Gelsenkirchen where the groond waz situated and where Schalke 04 play their home games.
On departure from the train we were 'greeted' by a line of dibbles complete with crash helmets, lang sticks and a few 'black maria' vans! (or in this case, grey!) <(welcome to Jawmany!)
They prevented us gannin to the main square and were tryin' to usher us on the busses and trams that went to the groond!
"THE 99s ARE ON ME!"
Quick thinkin' waz needed and so we sneaked behind a bus and wandered off aimlessly doon the street away from the line of dibbles. We went roond the block in a 'pincer movement' and came oot at the top of the square where an 'Ice Cream Parlour' sat on the corner!---It selt BEER! and so 'in we went' to consume vast quantities of the local brew!
Then it waz time to heed for the groond and we went through the line of dibbles still guardin' the station az they looked at us in puzzlement az to just how we managed to get past them! <(Yi'll never stop the Geordies gettin' a drink!)
It waz then a torturous half hour tram jorney to the groond <(aall Jawman groonds are miles from their city centres!) but the tram (and train) rides were 'in' with the ticket price of 13 euros which made it a bargain (compare that with English prices!?)
'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham were playin' in the 2nd game against hosts Schalke 04 and they were milling around the beer kiosks az we entered wor section of the groond.
We were segregated from them by a thin blue striped tape, but yoo could simply waalk around the back of the concourse and gan where the hell yi liked!
Aboot 800 Toon fans were in wor section az the game kicked off and straight away Malaga were on the attack bearin' doon on wor goal time and time again! (Malaga had between 8 and 10 fans in the groond by the way!)
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| SPIRITS IN THE SKY BOTH JOHN AND LIAM WOULD BE WATCHIN' FROM ABOVE! |
In the 17th minute a burst of applause broke oot in honour of Liam and John 'The Undertaker' who had been shot doon on flight MH17 ower the Ukraine just ower a week beforehand. Aall sections of the groond joined in includin' Schalke, West Ham and the 8 to10 Malaga fans!
The stadium roof waz open at this time and both of them would have been watchin' the match from the skies above!---Wor NUFC 'Spirits in the Sky' Super Fans!
Then in the 25th minute the inevitable happened when Malaga took the lead when Darder fired in off the post from 20 yards oot, givin' Elliot in the Toon goal ne chance!
Then just 6 minutes later it waz 2-0 when a completely unmarked Castello poked the baall home from 6 yards oot! <(shockin' defendin' from us!)
It waz soon 3-0 to the Spaniards when Costello again scored after hiz shot went in off Yanga's arse!
It waz aboot this time that they closed the roof of the stadium az thunder and lightning were forecast az the skies blackened!
There waz ne way back now and in the 2nd half the main taalkin point waz when some young 'Jellied Eels' sneaked into wor section and nicked a Toon flag!
Aall hell then broke loose az Toon fans chased after them az they waved the flag in their section!
Some members of the West Ham ICF (Inter City Crew) (aged 50 and over!) then told their younger bretheren to give us wor flag back and things calmed doon!
Gabriel Obertan then gave us a consolation goal when Jack Colback gave him the baall from a short corner and 'The Angel Gabriel' jinked past two Malaga defenders to rifle the baall into the back of the net!
We left at the final whistle optin' to give the West Ham v Schalke game a 'miss'.
Az we waalked to the tram stop in just tee shirts and jeans the thunder and lightning started and the rain came lashin' doon. (John and Liam obviously wornt too happy aboot the result!)
Luckily we weren't too far away from the tram shelter and ran the final hundred yards and didn't get too wet!
Then a bike rider appeared complete with brolly az he peddled hiz cycle ower the busy road in the torrential rain to huge roars of laughter from us! (see above foto!)
It waz then back to 'the ice cream parlour' for somemore 'liquid lubrication' (avoidin the 'dibble' once more!), before heedin back to Dusseldorf for the 'final fling'
(Day Three, Sunday)
Date of Visit: August 3rd 2014
Veltins Arena
Schalke 04 1
Newcastle United 3 (Riviere, Arrons, Cabella)
Schalke 04 Tournament
Attendance: 20,000 (800 Toon fans)
"THE WRITINGS ON THE WALL!"
"THE GREATEST TOON FANS OF THEM ALL!"
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| THE BACK WAALL OF THE TOON SECTION OF THE VELTINS ARENA*** HALF TIME ***SUNDAY *** RIP LIAM AND JOHN! |
The mornin' started off the same az the day before (breekies/washies etc) and this time we decided to heed for 'pastures new' and the toon of Essen for the pre match 'gargels', which iz just 10 mins by train from Gelsenkirchen!
The weather waz fine in Essen but there were a few worryin' dark clouds in the sky, but we are 'tough'? and had just tee shirts and jeans on again!
After dein' a few bars it waz time to heed back to the train station, but on arrival the boards said aall the trains were severely delayed for some reason?
Panic soon set in az we realised that we could miss the kick off, az we had to get a tram az well, when we got of the train.
"TAXEEEEE!"
We asked the driver how lang it would take and he said less than half an hour, so 'in we got'! We arrived with aboot ten minutes to spare and took up wor 'usual' standin' places on the away terrace! (panic ower!)
The teams ran oot and for the 2nd day runnin' we wore wor horrible aall grey away strip! West Ham's game had finished a half hour before against Malaga (Malaga won the tournament!) and there were anly aboot 50 or so 'Jellied eels' left in their section with 'their nutters' lang departed!
The bulk of Schalke fans were in the standin' terrace behind the far goal, but they were strangely quiet?
A minutes silence (which somehow turned into applause) waz then given before the kick off, for Liam and John which waz a nice touch from Schalke
We started off much brighter this time and were on the attack from the start and the sequence of events were az follows:
17th minute: Again a roond of applause went roond the arena in memory of flight MH17
18th minute: Goal!: Rolando Arrons runs from hiz own half to cross the baall ower to Riviere who heeded home past the Schalke keeper to put us 1-0 up in front of the Toon faithful!
Half time: 1-0 to The Toon
54th minute: Rolando Aarons run doon the right hand side of the pitch and sends in a cross which beat their keeper 'aall ends up'!.
The cross hits the far post and rebounds into the net to double wor advantage! (Aarons later said "he meant it!")
72nd minute: A bad misstayk by the home defence lets in 'new boy' Ferryra and he outwitted a tackle to give the baall to anotha 'new boy' Cabella and he gleefully excepted hiz chance by pokin' the baall home past the Fahmann in the Schalke goal!---
3-0 game ower!
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| GEORDIE ARAB --"THE DRINKS ARE ON ME !" --LITERALLY ! |
The Toon fans then preceded to hoy beer ower each other which iz allowed onto the terraces in Jawmany. Several got soaked includin' a few Schalke fans and their bairns who were on the other side of the glass panel segregation fence! A black mark against wor fans for this, although some redeemed themsels and had a quick whip-roond to gave it to the Schalke bairns families (We are not aall stupid tw*ts who hoy beer away at 4 euros a pint!) <(ne wonder we are not allowed to bring beer into the seats in England!)
91st minute: With most of the Schalke fans departed by this time (includin' the soaked families!) they got a consolation goal at the end through Avdijaj <(hope av spelt that reet?) who heeded home from close range.
The ref then blew for full time az The Toon fans clapped the players off the pitch.
It waz then 'onwards' back to wor fave 'ice cream parlour' before retornin' to Dusseldorf for wor final session there!
Day Fower (Monday): Day fower waz spent travellin' back from Jawmany the same way we'd came and we bumped into 'Alex of St George' who just happened by complete coincidence to be sittin' next to me on the 2nd leg from Amsterdam to Smogside Airport.
He doesn't live far from the airport and he invited me and 'Big Al' to partake in a few more 'liquid refreshments' < (az though we hadn't had enough ower the last 3 days!) in hiz 'local' caalled 'The Oak Tree' which iz within 'hocklin distance' of the runway!
From there it waz a taxi back to Darlo Station and the train back to 'The Central'
Yet anothaa European adventure off the list!
Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)
(more pix to follow ower the next few days)
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