THE TOON 1 THE LIVERBIRDS 33 !

Posted '4:45pm bells' Tuesday 4th Joon 2019

"HA! HA!"---LIVERPOOOL HAVE NEVER WON THIS ONE!"

NUFC--INTER CITIES FAIRS CUP WINNERS 1969

"50 YEARS---AND COONTIN'!"

Wor current plight of not winning a major trophy for 50 years has been put in context with Liverpoool's Champions Leegue success at the weekend!

The Scousers have now won a staggering 33 major trophies since we last won 1, 50 years ago next week!

Amazingly, NUFC are in 9th place in the aall time honours list with 11 trophies-- but none for half a century of course!

THE AALL TIME TOP TEN HONOURS LIST!

Trophy trail: FA Cup, League Champions, League Cup, European Cup/Champions League, European Cup Winners Cup, Inter Cities Fairs Cup/UEFA Cup/Europa League

=1: The Liverbirds--42, major trophies
=1: Moan United--42
3: The Arse--30
4: Chelski--24
5: Villa--20
6: Man City--19
7: Sporz--17
8: Evaatin--15
9: NUFC--11 (6 FA Cups, 4 times League Champions, 1 Inter Cities Fairs Cup)
10: Bleakburn--10

"YET ANOTHAA FINE MESS!"

Posted '1:37pm bells' Munday 3rd Joon 2019

With absolutleee nee progress bein' made (az far az we can see!) in the takeower saga, we now find worsels in 'yet anothaa fine mess!'
Will the takeower actually happen? ---Who naaz!
Will Rafa stay?--- Who naaz!
Will we sign ANY players in the transfor window?---Who naaz!

Not a word from NUFC aboot any of the above questions, so it looks more than likely that we will be in anothaa relegation dogfight come August, IF sommik doesn't happen very, very soon!

Of course we don't expect anything else from an owner who hardly ever speaks and a MD who we have never hord utter ONE WORD in the 12 years he haz been in this position!
Aaall we want iz some answers, whatever they may be!

This seems to happen every summer with incomin' transfors (or not!) and takeowers (or not!) the main taalkin points!----
"THE SILENCE IZ DEAFENIN' ONCE AGAIN!"

"HERE WE GAN AGAIN!"-----"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"

Posted '9:11am bells' Sunday 2nd Joon 2019

It iz now 2 weeks since the inpendin' takeower by The Bin Zayed Group---and still nee word from NUFC!

And with Rafa's contract due to run oot in 28 days and with nee progress in the transfor window, things are NOT lookin' good---are they?

WE will of course, keep yoo, wor loyal reeeders, posted on any new developments in wot iz tornin' oot to be yet anothaa takeower saga!  

"AND IF YOO WERE WONDERIN' WHERE WOR GAFFER IZ?"

Posted '4:25pm bells' Thorsday 30th May 2019

"RAFA'S IN MADRID!!!!"

With the takeover speculation gannin into 5 days, and with nee news at aall from the club, Rafa 'has got away from it aall' and az this photo on SKY telly shows, he is in central Madrid as we text this!

With just 31 days to gan before his contract with NUFC runs oot, time iz of essence to retain hiz sorvices!

The nevaa endin' St. James' Park soap opera continues unabated!

"AALLMOST THERE!---WE'RE AALLMOST THERE!"

Posted '2:30pm bells' Wedinzday 29th May 2019

On the very day 50 years ago, when NUFC won the forst leg of The Inter Cities Fairs Cup, beatin' Ujpest Dozsa from Hungary 3-0 at St. James' Park, we are hearin' more good news regardin the takeower of wor great club by The Sheikh Zayed Group!

STATEMENT FROM THE SHEIKH ZAYED GROUP

It's not done and dusted yet---but things seem to be movin' very fast regardin' the proposed takeower az the news iz on aall the usual outlets like the BBC, Sky and wor local 'rag' The Ronny-Gill' newspaper!

Updated '2:44pm bells'

"PLEEEZE GOD, LET IT BE TRUE THIS TIME!"  🙏

"FOR GOODNESS SAKE!---I GOT THE HIPPY HIPPY SHEIKH!"

Posted '11:25am bells' Tuesday 28th May 2019
Updated '4:00pm bells'

The Geordie Times paparazzi reporter iz ootside St James Park az we speak and haz taken this excluuusive photo in 'The Milburn Stand Camel Park'!
Reeed into this wot yoo will?

Updated '4:00pm bells'
Latest on the takeover from wor secret club sauce!

*It looks like it will be a lang summer again!

"SHEIKH RATTLE AND ROLL?" *** "IT LOOKS LIKE 'THE ROLL' COULD BE ON!"

Posted '11:00am bells' Munday 27th May 2019
Updated '7:50pm bells'

News that NUFC are in talks with Sheikh Khalad bin Zayed Al Nehayan aboot an inpendin' takeower have reached The Geordie Times!

We've 'been here before' of course and we will NOT build wor hopes up--yet!
NUFC have conformed that they ARE INDEED in talks, but are still a lang way off sellin' the club to this very rich Dubai based billionaire, who iz the cousin of the Sheikh who bought Man City!
It haz been reported that a £350 million bid haz been made!

We will of course bring yoo any news of forthaa developments az they happen (or NOT az the case may be?) and can anly hope (and pray!) that it IZ true!

Updated '7:50pm bells'
Statement from 'Bin Zayed Group:
"We can confirm the representatives of his Highness Sheikh Khalad bin Zayed Al Nahyan are in discussion with Mike Ashley (The Fat Controller) and his team about the proposed acquisition of Newcastle United Football Club.
We view it as an honour to have the opportunity to build on the strong support, history and tradition of the club.

We have agreed terms and are working hard to complete the transaction at the earliest opportunity.

Best regards, Midhat Kidwai, Group Managing Director, Bin Zayed Group."

Great news!---we will keep yoo, wor loyal reeeders informed of any future developments az they happen!

                                   "Keep the faith---NUFC!"

"HOW F*****' STUPID CAN YOO GET?"

Posted '1:30pm bells' Munday 27th May 2019

This iz the unbeleeevable moment a stupid sund'lind fan dives into the fountain in Trafalgar Square in London before the mackems lost 2-1 to Charlton in the Leegue 1 play off final!

Az everybody can clearly see the fountain iz anly a few inches deep---he cracks hiz heed open and wonders why he's got blood runnin' from hiz 'half a sheeps brain'!
Now yi naa just why we call them 'the SMBs'-- Sad Mackem B******s!'

"THERE'S ANLY ONE LEE BOWYER!"

Posted '10:20pm bells' Sunday 26th May 2019

SUND'LIND'S DREAMS GAN 'T*TS UP' AZ THEY MAKE AN 'ARSE OF IT' AT WEMBLEY!" (AGAIN!)

A 'FAT MACKEM SLAPPER' FROM PENNYWELL, SHOWS OFF HOR 

BEAUTIFUL BODY TO ADORING SUND'LIND FANS IN 

THE TRAFALGAR SQUARE FOUNTAIN IN CENTRAL LONDON! 

Lee Bowyer, a former NUFC player, celebrated wildly at the final whistle az the team he now manages, Charlton Athletic, beat the SMBs 2-1 in the Wembley Leegue one play off final, leavin' the mackems to contemplate 'mouth waterin' trips to Burton Albion, Fleetwood Town, Accrington Stanley, Lincoln City, Bury, Wycombe Wanderers and Milton Keynes Dons next season!😆

"CONGRATULATIONS TO CHARLTON AND LEE, FROM 'THE GEORDIE TIMES'!"

'SIR' LEE BOWYER---GEORDIE HERO!

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'SIR' LEE BOWYER---PARTY POOPER!😂

NUFCs OFFICIAL WEBSITE HAZ EVEN 

GOT IN ON THE ACT!

NUFC PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2019-2020

Posted '11:17am bells' Sunday 26th May 2019

EASTER ROAD, HIBERNIAN FC

"AALREET MEE OLD CHINA!"

Fower (4) friendlies have been conformed for 1st team games in July and August.

NUFC travel to China where we will play Wolves on Wedinzday 17th July in the Nanjang Olympic Sports Centre at '6:00pm bells' local time and then 3 days later we heed for Shanghia where we will play eetha Man City or West Ham in the Hongkou Stadium at eethaa, '6pm bells or 8:30pm bells' local time!

And then we are off to the Scottish capital (Edinburgh in case yi didn't naa?) on Tuesday July 30th where we will play Hibs at Easter Road at '7:45 bells'

Finally we will play French side St. Etienne at St. James' Park on Saturday August 3rd at '3:00 bells', one week before the new season commences on Saturday 10th August (Premyaa Leegue fixtures are oot on Joon 13th)

Az the 'manager saga' continues after 10 days of talks, we still divvint naa if Rafa will be in charge of the team by then?

We still await the resorve team fixtures for the new season and hopefully the chance to visit some more new groonds az well!

Wor U18s are in action in Northern Ireland once again between Munday 29th July and Friday 2nd August In 'SuperCupNI'

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