Thursday, 1 March 2012

HIGH NOON SABBETH SHOOT OUT!---ONLY! 24 HOURS FROM HIGH NOON!

Updated 'high noon bells' Saturday 3rd March 2012

WHAT'S IN A NAME!
146th MEETIN' IN 124 YEARS!--- FROM NEWCASTLE ROAD TO ST JAMES' PARK! <(AND AALWAYS WILL BE!)
"DO NOT FORSAKE ME, OH MY DARLING!" 

There are now less than 24 hours 'til (deep breath!)>'The St James' Sabbeth Showdown Shootout' >(try sayin' that 'quadtruple tongue twister' afta drinkin 20 pints of Fosters/Broon ale!) when The Toon take on the SMBs in the 146th Tyne/wear derby---

Derby day stats (competitive games)
The 1st meetin' between the clubs took place 124 years ago in 1888 @ NEWCASTLE ROAD! which was, unbelievableee! the name of the SMBs' groond at that time! (honest!)
The Toon have won 53 times, drawn 46 times and lost 46 times.
*(1n 1888 we were caalled Newcastle East End before amalgamatin' with Newcastle West End in 1892 to become Newcastle United)
In the Premier League we have played them 19 times with The Toon winnin' 9 times, drawn 6 times and lost anly 3 times! 
We have scored a total of  219 goals and conceded 212 goals.

On the advice/ insistence of 'Dibble' and in a 'tit for tat' exercise the SMBs will have a followin' of 2,700 housed in 'Level 7' of 'The Leazes'
This iz the same number of tickets that WE were given for wor game @ the SOS orlier this season (which WE won 1-0 by the way!)(Ryan Taylor goal!)

GROOND NUMBER 030--- NEW ARCHIVE REPORT NOW ONLINE

Posted '9:20am bells' Thorsday 1st March 2012

Thorty eight years ago this month we played Bornley @ Hillsborough in the semis of the FA Cup.
The Geordie Times archive report from this game iz now online below and can aalso be seen in the latest edition of 'Mad-Micks' fanzine 'Black and White Daft', which iz on sale at the weekend from 'The Back Page Shop' in St Andrews Street (opposite Newcastle Arms boozer) and aall good paper shops @ two an' a half quid a copy!

030 hillsborough sheffield (v burnley)

(GROUND NUMBER 30)


Date of First Visit: 30th MARCH 1974


HILLSBOROUGH, SHEFFIELD


BURNLEY 0 

NEWCASTLE UNITED 2 (MacDonald 2)



F.A. CUP SEMI FINAL---ATTENDANCE 55,000 (30,000 plus Toon fans)







"SUPERMAC BURNS THE GRASS!"


"GOAL!"---SUPERMAC SCORES AGAINST BURNLEY


The build up tih this game started a week orlier when tickets went on sale at St. James', on the day after wi'd drew one's each with Leicester in a League game.


Some fans had even left the game at HALF TIME? tih be forst in the queue! and mek sure of their 'precious' semi-final tickets!.


Me and mee mates wornt THAT daft, and wih went on the hoy after the game, retornin' anly when they'd hoyed us oot the 'Star' in Westgate Road, at chuckin' oot time!


Wih joined the huge queue at midneet on Barrack Road and tih keep waam some fans had ripped the fences doon in the nearby allotments tih mek 'bonfires' on the path!.


Eleven lang hours later the ticket office opened and after the mad rush when they opened the gates, we were in possession of the 'priceless' £1:00! standin' tickets for the Penistone Road Terrace!.


It sez a lot for the futbaall stadiums of tihday, that Hillsborough in the mid seventies was probably the best club groond in Britain!.


And this is a place that had one cantilever stand (considered tih be the best stand in Europe at the time!) a wooden Main Stand with nee cover at the front, the ill fated Lepping Lane Stand where the Burnley fans were hoosed that day (which aalso had nee cover at the front) and the huge uncovered Penistone Road Terrace where most of the Toon contingent were massed (the aanly 'end' in futbaall with a male sex organ in it's name!)


Wi'd travelled doon on the train tih Wadsley Bridge Station which lies on the steep hill above Hillsborough.


Ower 30,000 fans had travelled doon from Tyneside that day which included quite a few who had tickets for the Burnley end and everybody was convinced that wi'd dee it!.


Once off the train we went in search of a 'drinkin' den' and heeded for the city centre az aall the boozers aroond the groond seemed tih be shut!?----BUT! oh no they were'nt!


They WERE open, but anly for the locals who could be seen through the frosted glass, enjoyin' an 'Arthur' or two behind locked doors!.


Wih seen a 'Dibble' and asked him where wih could get a 'gargel', and he pointed us in the direction of a windy lane and he said there was a boozaa aboot qwaata of a mile away, that would sorve us!.


An aad 'wifey' owerhord the conversation and chased after us tih tell wih that the anly thing at the bottom of the lane was a farmers field!. (Are'nt our policemen w******!)(the last word is'nt 'wonderful', by the way!)


And so it was off to the nearest bus stop tih catch a bus tih the 'big city', tih try and find a 'gargel-stop'! tih quench wor tonsils!.


An 'aad biddy' on the bus said that shih hoped that wi'd get beat!. When we asked hor why?, shih said that, because of us, shi'd had tih wait three qwaataz of an hour for a bus!. (There's logic in that---somewhere?) (Hope the dye comes oot of hor 'blue rinse'!)


On wor arrival, and after wanderin' aboot like 'heedless chickens', wih eventually foond one who would let wih in, and stayed there for the 'duration', az it looked like bein' the anly place that wi'd get in tee!.


It was then off tih the match----the biggest day so far in mee Toon Travellin' Career!.


The atmosphere when wih got in the groond was the best a'd ever experienced and the shear mass of the Toon fans on that huge terrace was somethin' aall aalways remember.


(Sommik else that aall aallways remember was the kidda standin' in front of iz, who was gettin' a 'slash' against a crash barrier, and the spray was splashin' aall ower the back of this well dressed gadgies flannels!, who was totally oblivious tih what was gannin on!)


There were black 'n' white flags everywhere and of course in them days it was aalmost 'compulsary' tih wear a scarf or wooly hat to a game.


When the 'Blaydon Races' was sung, the whole end waved their scarves and banners and it was hard tih see anythin' at aall on the pitch.


Luckily, the game had'nt started yet so meesel and 'Dylan' foond a good vantage point in the middle of the 'mass' and waited for 'battle to commence'!.


Quite a few who could'nt get tickets from Newcastle had travelled doon tih Lancashire tih buy tickets from Turf Moor, such was the demand for tickets!. (Burnley could'nt sell aall theirs?)




Of course, back then, the demand for tickets was even higher than what it would be nuw, coz the game was'nt live on 'the box'!. (The anly way that the 'armchair brigade' could see the game, was by watchin' the highlights on 'Match of the Day' at ten p.m. bells!)


Infact!---the anly domestic club game that WAS televised in them days was the final itself!. (Yeez youngins divvint naa yiz are born, these days!)

The players ran oot to a rapturous reception with nearly aall the noise comin' from the Newcastle fans.


Burnley must have won the toss and they made the Toon kick towards wor own fans in the forst half!, obviously hopin' that this would be tih their advantage come full time!.


It aalso meant of course, that THEY had tih kick towards there own fans for the openin' 45 minutes!.


It looked az though their 'tactics' had paid off in the forst period az 'The Clarets' had more of the play and the Toon worryingly looked owerawed by the ocassion, tih say the least!.


After the break the Toon seemed like a re-vitalised side and went 'hell for leather' tih break the deedlock.


This happened after trememdous pressure from the 'black 'n' whites', when Pat Howard sent 'Supermac' through with a lang baall and he left his marker standin' az he bore doon on the Bornley keeper. 'Mac' shot and it reboonded off him and back to 'Mac', who calmly drove the baall yhem with his RIGHT foot! ('Supermac' was a 'left-footer' by nature, so tih score with his other 'peg' was an huge bonus, tih say the least!)


The roar from the Toon fans on 'Macs' opener must have been hord back on Tyneside! az 'The Army' celebrated!.


Just after this, McFaul, in the Newcastle goal made a tremendous save to deny Bornley. And then 'Supermac' struck again tih book wor coverted place at the 'Twin Towers'.

Terry Hibbitt sent him clear and ah swear blind that he 'burnt the grass', such was his speed az he 'scorched' towards the 'Leppings Lane' goal.


A well placed shot intih the corner of the net sealed it for us and the crowd went 'BALLISTIC'! az he torned, with arms raised and DID! he 'milk' the occasion!, and the scenes at the final whistle az fans hoyed their scarves to the triumphant players had tih be seen tih be believed!. (AH!---MEMORIES!)


We were gannin tih Wembley for the sixth time in an FA Cup Final and had NEVER lost one there!


SO THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NEE WAY WE COULD LOSE IT!---“NEE WAY!”---“NEE WAY!”. 

                 

('ER'!---DON'T read on!---pleeze!---pleeze!!)“





©Fink™ (the mad-sad groundhopper!)



www.geordietimes.com

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

A SIGN OF THE TIMES!--A 'DISGRACEFUL' STATE OF AFFAIRS!

Posted '9:45pm bells' Wednesday 29th February 2012

THE WINDOW OF 'THE STRAWBERRY'

Toon pub openin' times for the 'high noon' derby next Sunday have been annoonced, with the forst boozer not openin' til 'NINE am BELLS!', nameleee 'The Strawberry'

This iz a 'disgraceful' state of affairs when yoo consider that 'in the old days', waaterin' holes like 'The Black 'N' White' in Blenheim Street (both 'boozer' and 'street' lang since demolished!) used to open at!---"wait for it!"-----'SIX BELLS' IN THE MORNIN' for the 'thorst quenchers' on derby day!

Aa remember a derby match in the 1980's when the game kicked off at '11:30 bells' in the mornin' and  aa tried waalkin into 'The Black 'N' White' through the 'lock in door' at the ungodly hour of '7 bells'! 

The bar was SO packed that aa couldn't get through the f***** door!---az there were SO many people inside 'gaggin' for a drink!

Now they divvint open til fower hours later than this!---wots the world comin' te---aa ask meesel!??? 

Monday, 27 February 2012

FA YOUTH CUP QWAATA FINAL----THE TOON U18s 2 THE TANDOORI CHICKEN ROVERS U18s 2 (AET)---THE 'CHICKENS' WIN 3-0 ON PENS!

Updated '7:50am bells' Tuesday 28th February 2012

A game which lasted nearly two and three qwaata hours waz finally won on penalties by Blackborn after a 2-2 stalemate!

It aall started off so well az The Toon took the lead in the 19th minute, when JJ Hooper foond Michael Hoganson with a low cross and he wellied the baall into the net @ The Leazes End of St James' Park!<(and aalways will be!)
This waz the forst goal that the away side had conceded in the competition so far!

The lead waz short lived however!---az Rovers equalised just six minutes later though, with a divin' heeder, which gave Alex Baird in The Toon goal ne chance!

We retook the lead orly in the second period when JJ Hooper hammered the baall home from twenty yards oot @ The Gallowgate End.
It stayed that way til the 75th minute when a wicked defection wrang footed Baird and 'The Tandoori Chickens' were level once more.


There were ne more goals, so an extra thorty minutes was played, where 'cramp' then took it's toll on players from both sides and the trainers were onto the pitch every few minutes az they went doon like flies, but neetha side cud add to their tally!

Penalties then sealed wor fate @ The Gallowgate End, az we missed wor forst THREE spot kicks (one blasted ower by JJ Hooper and two saved from Ben Sayer and Micheal Hoganson!) as Rovers convorted aall of their three, to reach the semi finals of The Youth Cup and a tie against eetha Fulham or Bornley!

They'll be fryin' tonight in Blackborn!

Attendance: 2,026 (10 or so Blackborn fans)

FA YOUTH CUP QWAATA FINALS---THE TOONS U18s v THE TANDOORI CHICKEN ROVERS U18s

Posted '9:45am bells' Monday 27th February 2012 
ACTION FROM WOR YOUTH CUP TIE AGAINST DARLO

Tooneet the qwaata finals stage of the FA Youth Cup will be played oot @ St James' Park<(and aalways will be!) when we play Blackborns equivalent @ '7 bells'

Wor visitors havvent even conceded a goal yet in their three ties, havin' beat Thurrock 8-0, Coventry 2-0 and Stoke 4-0 in previous roonds, while we have won 3-0 against Darlo, 2-1 against Watford and 2-1 against QPR---aall at home!

Work permitin' 'The Geordie Times entourage' will be in The Newcastle Arms both before and after the match.
Admission iz THREE QUID for big kids as usual and a POOND COIN for zimmerframeites and little kids @ The East Stand tornstiles!
Extra time and penalties will apply if scores are level at 90 minutes.

Get yerselz alang if yiv nowt better to de??? (Cryforthenation Street haz been cancelled!---honest!)  and cheer the youngins on!---a semi-final place iz at stake!

Sunday, 26 February 2012

THE TOON 2 THE WOUNDED WOLVES 2

Posted '8:05am bells' Sunday 26th February 2012

The latest 'round' of 'The Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge' started off on the quayside, IN 'The Quayside' and we did anotha four bars in that area before climbin' up 'The Side' (the name of a steep street) to 'Cosy Joes' in 'The Bigg Market'

From there we did one of wor usual 'haunts', namely 'The Newcastle Arms', before climbin' the 200 steps to wor seats in 'The Milburn Stand' (it's a canny way up from the quayside to 'Level 7'---aa can tell yiz!---"Pant!---Pant!---Pant!")

This waz The Toon's 600th competitive game of the 21st century and aalso The Geordie Times 600th 'in a row' az well!----so it was an 'historic day'? for us!
We could see that a near capacity crowd was assembled az we kicked off against the relegation threatened Wanderers and their 5-1 home defeat against deadly rivals 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom in the previous game shud have sent the alarm bells ringin' that a wounded animal was on the run.

The warnins however wornt heeded az 'The Wounded Wolves' came back from two doon to nick a point in a game The Toon were cruisin'!

We took the lead in the 6th minute @ The Leazes End when Yohan Cabaye crossed for Demba Ba and his shot ended up at the feet of his countryman and namesake Demba Cisse, who slotted home for his second succesive home goal,

Wor lead waz doubled in the 18th minute when 'Spiderman'hit an unstoppable shot into the roof of the net and is was 'game ower' az far az we were concorned (NOT!)

We shud iv naan better of course az we pulvarised the visitors goal and thoughts of 'five' or even 'six' goals entered wor heeds az Wolves were dreadful!

It aall went 't*ts up' az a great forst half waz replaced by a shambolic second, and with just 4 minutes of the half gone 'The Wounded Wolves' fought back with a goal from Jarvis which went in off Danny Simpson.

We fell apart after this as Wolves besieged wor goal and the impossible happened at the mid point of the half, when a free kick foond Doyle who slotted home for the equaliser in front of the 1,800 visitin' fans in 'Level 7' of 'The Leazes'!

They cud actually have won it in the final throes of the game, but it ended aall square and two valuable points were dropped in wor quest for a European place!

600 in a row and ONE to forget!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Santon, Ryan Taylor (Guthrie 65), Cabaye, Tiote (Shola Ameobi 80), Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Ben Arfa 65) 

Attendance: 52,287 (1,800 happy 'wounded animals'!) 

Saturday, 25 February 2012

600 IN A ROW!----THE TOON v THE WOUNDED WANDERERS of WOLVERHAMPTON

Posted '9:15am bells' Saturday 25th February 2012 
600 IN A ROW!

Today we play the relegation threatened 'Wounded Wanderers of Wolverhampton' @ St James' Park<(and aalways will be!) 'but be warned!'---the 'boys from the black country' are a wounded animal followin' their 5-1 home humiliation against deadly rivals 'The Baggie Troosers of West Brom' (hence their new name!) but! they are unbeaten in their last four away games against 'The Arse', Bolton, Spors and QPR.
Late last neet they appointed a new 'part time' manager by the name of Terry Connor 'til the end of the season, not a name we are familiar with, but he will ne doubt try to fire them up, so we shud be wary of that! (hopefully!)

We'll have Yohan Cabaye back from suspension and Cheick Tiote back from African Nations Cup duty to shore up wor defence, which leeked five at Spors a fortneet ago!
Aalso in contention iz Ryan Taylor who iz back from injury

The Wanderers have sold 1,800 tickets for 'Level 7' of 'The Leazes End' and this cud quite possibly be wor LAST '3 bells' home start of the season because of aall the fixture changes for live telly!?
(A near 50,000 crowd iz antisipated once again)

This will be The Toon's 600th competitive game so far in the twenty forst century (since 3rd January 2000, when we drew 2-2 @ home against West Ham) and I have to tell yoo that 'The Geordie Times' haz been to EVERY ONE so far! ("Er!"---it shud be noted that we didn't get in til half time against both Panionios away in Greece in 2004 in the UEFA Cup, because of an air traffic controllers strike and aalso away to Fulham, midweek in 2005, because 'The Geordie Times entourage' had to drive doon late on, and couldn't get parked anywhere near the groond!)

Will TRY! and get in for the kick off this time! after wor Geordie Times100 pub crawl challenge, which 'takes off' today @ 'The Quayside', doon -----'the quayside'! (wud yoo believe?) next to The Swing Bridge and owerlookin' 'the sacred river' Tyne! (boozer number 74!---11:30 prompt!)

Match and pub crawl report to follow later toneet/tomorrow mornin', az per usual

Friday, 24 February 2012

GEORDIE TIMES 'SENSATIONAL' PAPARAZZI PICTURES FROM ST JAMES' PARK!---LATEST!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 24th February 2012
SOMEWHERE ON BARRACK ROAD!--
"HALT!--WHO GANS THERE!?"

Followin' on from the news that security guards are patrollin' St James' '24/7', reports reach us that forthaa measures have been taken to stop fans in their tracks!

Wor undercover paparazzi reporter waz hidin' in some trees in Leazes Park at the break of dawn this mornin', when! he spotted this newly constructed watchtower next to the St James' Park main entrance steps!

He took this 'sensational' picture for The Geordie Times with hiz 'bottom of the range' zooom lenz camra, az the club prepares to fend off any 'St James' Park' sign writers before this weekends game against 'The Wounded Wolves'!

The above picture shows 'gulag style' security guards, who have been ordered and are ready to 'shoot on sight', shud any fan attempt to 're-christen' the main entrance sign yet again!
"Are there no lengths that 'The Fat Controller' will gan te to stop us!???"

Thursday, 23 February 2012

ST JAMES' PARK UNDER ATTACK!--"ATTACK!, ATTACK,! ATTACK!, ATTACK!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 23rd February 2012
FROM LAST NEETS 'RONNY GILL'

Followin' fans 'heroic efforts' to replace the St James' Park signs that were 'vandalised' last week, the club have stepped up security and guards are now patrollin' the groond '24/7' to try and stop any repeat 'St James' Park' sign writer 'attacks'!------
HAZ IT REEELY COME TO THIS!???---
IT'S PATHETIC!---IZ'NT IT!???

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