John Carver's press conference after the Everton game reeely summed up wor farcical predicament! ----Didn't it!
P45DEW fails to show for the post-match press conference and asks hiz deputy to step in and 'de it'!
"I waz eatin' a pie when Alan Pardew asked me to de the press conference!"
He didn't expand on this, so wot we divvint naa and iz 'vitally' important!---IZ!---waz it a chicken pie?, waz it a mince and onion pie??, waz it a 'Dickmans' mushroom and 'taatty' pie <(with 'Bisto' gravy)???, OR! waz it in fact a 'Fray Bentos' snake and pigmy pie????---that he waz eatin'?????
"Answers on a postcard pleeeze!" to!: 'The Fat Controller', who we understand iz gettin' 'pie-eyed' in Barbados, at this very moment---"az we speeeek!"
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