THE PALLISS PIF HATERS V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘high 🔔 bells’ Friday 29th Novembaa 2024

IN 1970 SELHURST PARK STILL HAD A GRASS BANK BEHIND ONE GOAL!

The name Crystal Palace soonds az though it’s a magical mystery location, BUT! the reality iz anything but!  A 💩 groond with a 💩 fanbase who make anti PIF Saudi banners to try and annoy us! (It doesn’t work and shud we score first we’ll sing: “One-nil to the Saudi boys!”

The groond iz a tip and iz the worst in the top flight —-and when as forst visited Selhurst Park 54 years ago, it had a grass bank on the terraces at The Holmesdale Road End, it woz that primitive! (See top photo if yi divvint beleeeve iz!)

The main wooden stand iz exactly 100 years old az well! (and looks it!)

(For a match report on that game in 1970 see ground 014 Selhurst Park)

Anyway!— enough of that! The question on everybodys lips iz ‘which Toon team will torn oot tomorrow?  The one that beat The Arse 1-0 OR the one that lost 2-0 to West Ham?

Typical NUFC.  Beat the top teams but lose to the mediocre teams!

The jorney to this 💩 hole iz a nightmare az well az King’s Cross train station in London iz SHUT! That’s reet! A mainline train station shut aall weekend!?🥶

So we have to get a train to St Neots and then a bus to Bedford and then anothaa train to Selhurst!—And dee the same on the way back!—sommik iz boond to gan wrang for certain!

Not sure just how many tickets we have been allocated, but between 2,700 to 3,000 Toon fans will be there in the sold oot away end with 💩 sightlines! (I am 6foot taall but I couldn’t see the far corner flag last season!)

More on the team news when we find oot tomorrow!

APU “Watch this space!”

RIP McNAMEE! 🪦

 Posted ‘2:55pm 🔔 bells’ Thorzday 28th November 2024

Very sad news reached us that former centre half and Fairs Cup winner John McNamee haz passed away!

He woz a giant of a man and az hard az nails!

I woz at a Fairs Cup reunion in Waallsend a few years ago and at the interval he woz in front of me in the ‘beer queue’ and I got talkin to him and told him that az a school kid I saw him at SJP in the Fairs Cup!

He told me that when we played eethaa Sporting Lisbon or Vitoria Setubal (can’t remember which?) one of their players spat in his face!

He said: “I ran after him but he woz too fast—so I bided my time and when he went up to heed the ball I jumped up az well, with NO intention of getting the ball —and I stuck the nut on him and he collapsed poleaxed and spreadeagled on the pitch!”

A true story!

RIP BIG MAN 🪦 (Lost, but not forgotten!)

THE TOON 0. THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Tuezday 26th Novembaa 2024

A TRIBUTE TO ALEXANDER THE GREAT BEFORE KICK OFF!

“I DEFINITELY DON’T LIKE MUNDAYZ!”🥶

Typical of NUFC that after a great win against high flyin Arsenal, we lose to low flyin West Ham at SJP when everybody seemed to Fink that 3 points were a certainty!

I wasn’t one of them az I’ve seen so many times in the past that a great performance iz followed by a bad one!— And so it proved to be—-yet again!🥶

We started off brightly az we attacked the Gallowgate goal and made the breakthrough in the 4th minute when Isak fan through the Jellied Eels Mobs defence to chip their keeper to give us a 1-0 lead! NOT!—Az the linesman on The Milburn Stand side of the pitch raised his flag for offside!- After an unusually quick VAR check the goal woz chalked off!🥶

6 minutes later and with their forst attack wor visitors took the lead at The Leazes End when a Soucek corner foond the heed of an unmarked Emerson who effort beat The Pope in the Toon goal! 1-0 to them!

The Toon couldn’t respond to this and it remained 1-0 at the half time interval despite Isak comin' very close to equalisin' late in the half!

The 2nd half woz even worse for us az West Ham doubled their lead at The Gallowgate End in the 53rd minute when Wannissaka <(hope av sppelt that reet?) sauntered into wor box and hit a shot that went in off the far post to forthaa dampen the mood of the home faithful!

Callum Wilson then made his forst appearance of the season in the 68th minute— and within 4 minutes he woz unceremoniously fouled by Mauroponos <(where do they get their names from?) in front of goal, but the legitimate penalty claims were waved away by the ref!—It just wozzint wor day!

Soon after this some of wor fans had ‘given up’ and started to leave their seats!— By the end more than half had left the groond and I looked behind me with 5 minutes to gan to see a row of at least 10 empty seats!

Remind me?—-Who needs an 80,000 seater stadium, then?

Attendance: 52,094 includin 3,000 delighted Jellied Eels in Level 7 of The Leazes End!—An excellent away torn oot for a Munday neet!

A win would have propelled us to within a point of a Champions Leegue place, but instead we drop to 10th in the table!😵‍💫

Explanation: We say ‘Jellied Eels Mob' az jellied eels are a favourite delicacy in the east end of London, where West Ham come from!

*FA CUP 3rd Roond draw next Munday neet!

The draw takes place from '7:00 bells' on BBC2 and there are quite a few teams who's groonds we have never been tee!

A home draw of course would be preferable!

THE TOON V THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM *** MUNDAY NEET!🥶

 Posted ‘high noon bells’ Saturday 23rd Novembaa 2024

THE EAST STAND FROM LEAZES TERRACE

Inclement<(we naa aall the ‘big words’) weathaa haz hit Tyneside and most of the local non leegue games have ‘bit the dust’ through rain, snow and frozen pitches!

Az we divvint play till Munday for the live telly, I am left twiddlin mee thumbs for a Saturday ‘fix’! 

 Looks like aa’ll have to ‘gan on the hoy’ this afternooon instead!— Wot a life!🤪👍🏁🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

News that Callum Wilson cud come on at some point against West Ham iz deein the rounds!—but divvint haad yi breath! 

Botman, Lascelles and Krafth are still oot through various injuries, while Trippier cud play some part!— But again!—divvint haad yi breath! While Dan Burn 🔥 iz servin a one match ban!

On a brighter note 🎵 Alexander Isak iz lookin to score in hiz 5th successive match AND he haz score 5 against West Ham in past games for us! (Callum and Wilson haz aalso scored 5 against them!)

The kick off iz at the crap 💩 time of ‘8:00 🛎️s’ on a crap 💩 day! (I don’t like Mundayz!)

Explanation: We caall West Ham ‘The Jellied Eels Mob’ coz jellied eels iz a favourite delicacy in the east end of London!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Tuezday!

APU “Watch this space!”

THE TOON U21s v ALNWICK TOON *** TOONEET!

 Posted ‘2:28pm 🛎️ bells’ Wedinzday 20th Novembaa 2024

BLUE FLAMES AKA WHITLEY PARK

Wor U21s take on Alnwick from The Northern Leegue, in the 2nd roond of The Northumberland Senior Cup at Whitley Park, Benton with a ‘7:30 🔔s’ kick off—WEATHAA PERMITTIN’!?

It’s FREE for season ticket holders to get in and £3 for big kids and £1 for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

We will let yiz naa if the game iz caalled off due to the very low temperatures!

Az per usual  “Watch this space!”

Update: ‘8:35pm 🛎️s’

The game did start and the half time score iz 1-1

The U21s took the lead through Mo Sedibeh in the 20 th minute with a low shot!

Alnwick equalised in the 37th minute with ‘Mystery Man’ gettin their goal!

57th minute: Sedibeh doubles hiz tally with a fine effort to restore wor lead! 2-1 to us

60th minute: Alfie Harrison extends wor lead with a well placed shot!

3-1 to us

70th minute: Josh Donaldson makes it 4 to rap up the tie and propel us into the semi final of The Northumberland Senior Cup with a shot into the roof of the net!

Johnny Emerson put the final nail in the Alnwick coffin ⚰️ when he roonded their keeper to make it 5-1 ***final score!

THE THREE LIONS!

 Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Munday 18th November 2024

“OH ANTHONY GORDON!”👏

Anthony Gordon scores the 2nd goal! (Nearest to right of picture in the white shirt!)

“OH LEWIS HALL!”👏

“OH TINO LIVREMENTO!”👏

Congratulations to the three Magpies who played for Ing-er-land last neet!

And a special mention for Anthony Gordon who scored his forst goal for the team in the 5-0 rout of Ireland at Wembley to win promotion to the top Nations Leegue group!

Well done lads! 👏👏👏

BRAAFAAD PARK AVENUE 1. DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 1. *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted ‘4:13pm 🔔 bells’ Sunday 17th Novembaa 2024

A TRIBUTE TO LEN SHACKLETON IN THE CLUBHOOSE, WHO PLAYED FOR BOTH BRADFAAD PA AND NUFC!

I’d been to this groond before to watch a friendly in 2016 between Bradfaad PA and NUFC U21s (see ground 320) but not to watch mee 2nd team Dunston! 

We travelled doon to west Yorkshire on the Dunston team bus (players at the back, committee at the front and fans squashed in the middle!) and arrived in good time for a few ‘gargels’ in the Braadfaad clubhoose!

It cost me a tenner to get in az a ‘zimmerframeite’ (golden oldie!) which iz the same price for mee NUFCs Leegue Cup qwaataa final ticket v Brentfaad at SJP next month!🥶

VIEW OF THE PITCH FROM THE CLUBHOOSE

The Braadfaad fans are a strange breed indeed! Most were wearin Bradfaad Bulls rugby 🏉 club’s hats and coats, az well az the green and white scarfs and shirts of Braadfaad Park Avenue!

But one old gadgie went a step forthaa, coz he woz wearin a Bradfaad Bulls hat, a Bradfaad Park Avenue scarf AND a Bradfaad City coat!—He woz takin nee chances!

Anyway!-  The game kicked off in absolutlee freeezin conditions and Bradfaad laid siege to the Dunston goal! The Bad Blue Boys (wearin an aall red strip!) had the odd attack, but the home side made the breakthrough in the 33rd minute when Hassan-Smith fired a shot into the net to loud cheers from The 350 or so Park Avenueites and large groans from the 25 Dunston fans and committee who had made the jorney doon! This aalso included a convoy of cars ( whey 2 actually!) includin ex Toon reserve player Justin Robson who had travelled doon to watch his son Scott, the Dunston number 9!

Bang on half time and against the run of play Dunston equalised through Dan Turner who fired a curling shot into the net from a Dale Pearson through baall, to loud applause from the ‘faithful’!

IT SAYS ‘NO STANDING’ BUT NOWT ABOOT ‘LOW FLYING’!

The second half woz more even, but neethaa side could get the winner and the game ended aall square!

It woz a mad rush back to the warmth of the clubhoose on the final whistle where anothaa Braadfaad ‘eccentric’ woz wearin a red woolly hat with a Northern Ireland army blatooon badge on the front!

He spotted mee Toon badge on mee jacket and said “Fcukin Newcastle!” and I replied, “You must be a fcukin mackem!” az I pointed to hiz hat!

It turned oot that he woz a Bradfaad fan and woz a Rangers loyalist az well! “I NEVER wear anything green!” he told me!  Divvint forget their colours are GREEN and white! (White shirts with narrow green vertical  stripes)

To compound things even forthaa Bradfaad’s old colours were(wait for it!) green and white HOOPS! The same shirts az Rangers most hated enemies CELTIC! (Yi couldn’t make it up!)

A Bradfaad fan wearin their old hooped shirt!

On the clubhoose waall there’s a great tribute to Len Shackleton who played for Bradfaad Park Avenue, before bein transferred to NUFC for the princely sum of £13,000 in the 1940s!  He scored SIX goals v Newport Coonty in NUFCs record 13 goal win! (See top photo)

OFFICIAL ATTENDANCE: 411 (I guessed aboot 380)

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper—74 groonds with Dunston, 371 with NUFC teams) (including 30 of those groonds watchin both teams). 415 different groonds in total!

Not bad for a full time NUFC fan and a part time Dunston fan “EH!?”

THE GEORDIE 'TIME' MACHINE **** GROUND 320 HORSFALL STADIUM, BRADFAAD 2016

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 15th Novembaa 2024

HORSFALL STADIUM, BRADFAAD IN 2016

Tomorrow a'm off to Bradfaad Park Avenue to watch mee fave non leegue club Dunston (Bad Blue Boys) to get mee Saturday 'fix' az we are in the THORD (3rd) International break of the season---and its anly Novembaa!  (NUFC divvint play again til Munday week v 'The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham' at SJP)

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' visited Bradfaad's groond in 2016 for a friendly, when wor U21s played there!

An archive match report on that game iz printed below (Ground 320) 

320 horsfield stadium bradford (sorry! that shud read horsFALL stadium!)

Ground number 320
Date of First Visit: 10th July 2016
Horsfield (correction!) Horsfall Stadium, Bradford

Bradford Park Avenue  0
Newcastle United U21s  3 (Toney, Longstaff, Harvey)

Friendly Fixture
Attendance 675 (plus 3 of us who forgot to pay!---honest!)

"YOO LORN SOMETHIN' NEW EVERY DAY!"

This game waz arranged to remember the life of 2nd Lieutenant Donald Simpson Bell who waz killed in 'The Battle of the Somme' exactly 100 years ago to the day!
Bell played for both The Toon and Bradfaad and won the Victoria Cross for hiz bravery on the battlefield just 5 days before hiz death.
To be honest a'd never even hord of him until Saturday when aa read hiz story.
Before the kick off we were telt ower the loudspeaker that he iz the ANLY professional futbaaller to this day who haz won the Victoria Cross and 36 members of hiz family were there az invited guests by the club to watch the game!

We had arrived some 3 hours before hand and heeded straight for the clubhoose situated inside the groond (aall 7 of us!)
An excited Bradfaad official informed us that SIX NUFC forst teamers would be playin'!---but when we informed him that in fact the entire forst team squad were 'at this minute' in a trainin' camp near Dublin, hiz face dropped! (there WERE 6 players who at sometime had featured briefly in forst team games like Bigiramana, Gilliead and Vuckic, but yoo could hardly say that the were 'seasoned first teamers'!)   

Kick off waz preceded by the playin' of 'The Last Post' by a bugler followed by a minute silence in 2nd Lieutenant Bells honour

Straight away 'National League side' Bradfaad went for 'the jugular' and had 2 great efforts which went narrowly wide.
The programme we bought and team sheet were absolutleee useless az the WRANG players were listed az playin', which anly added to the confussion when The Toon took the lead in the 13th minute at 'The Marquee Tent End'!  (see photos!)

GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!---IVAN TONEY GOAL
@ 'THE MARQUEE TENT END'!

Ivan Toney scored with a low shot, but the team sheet said he waz someone else!

The lead waz doubled 9 minutes into the 2nd half when Sean Longstaff hit a sweet shot past the Brafaad keeper at the 'Big Grass Bank End' (again, see photo!) az glorious sunshine torned into torrential rain az we scurried for cover in a stand ne bigger that a bus shelter!

GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!
THE LINESMAN SIGNALS FOR A CORNER TO 'US'
@ 'THE BIG GRASS BANK END'!

7 minutes from time it waz 'game ower' when 'Mystery Man' fired home from inside the box! (we later foond oot that he waz a trialist caalled Tyler Harvey!) 

The 2 fans who DIDN'T get their priorities right!
Notable absentees from the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' were 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' who preferred instead to be wined and dined in hiz mates chateau in northern France, rather than be here to watch the resorves ---and 'Dave from York' who waz on a luxury Caribbean cruise with hiz 'better half'!---it beggars belief!---

Take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself a serious question---where would YOO rather be---like????--- Sittin' in a chateau drinkin' and eatin' fine wine and food???---lyin' next to a swimmin' pool in the bakin' sun on the deck of a luxury cruiser, bein' waited on hand and foot???---OR!--- drinkin' a pint of luke waam Tetley's bitter, whilst eatin' a stale beefborger 'n' onions in downtown Bradford, az the weathaa takes a torn for the worse????

"I REST MY CASE!!!"



"WE WAZ THERE PHOTOS!"


     

A BUGLER FROM BELL'S YORKSHIRE REGIMENT PLAYS 'THE LAST POST'

THE BANNER ON THE FAR SIDE READS
'BRADFORD PALS' 'SOMME 1916'

A MODEL OF BRADFAAD'S OLD LEEGUE GROOND IN PARK AVENUE
(HENCE THEIR NAME!)
(THEY WERE A LEEGUE SIDE UNTIL THE1970's)

 

DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 6. CONSETT HILLBILLIES 1 **** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted ‘high noon bells 🔔’ Wedinzday 13th Novembaa 2024

“DOUBLE HAT-TRICK DELIGHT!”

With yet anothaa International break in full swing soon (the 3rd this season!) aa went to watch The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston play the Hillbillies of Consett last neet!

Dunston won 6-1 in a highly entertainin game watched by 268 hardy souls on a freezing cold neet, where yoo could see the players steamy breath az they exhailed!

A double hat-trick from JJ O’Donnell and Scott Robson (Son of former Toon reserve player Justin Robson, who woz there!) sealed an impressive victory and the goal of the game woz undoubtedly the 5th one from Robson, who sent a curlin shot ower the Consett keeper and into the far corner of the net at ‘The Tea Hut End’ of the groond!

The Hillbillies consolation goal came from Holdsworth on the hour mark when the score woz 3-0

A great game if you are a Dunston fan!—Not so if you follow Consett!

It’s rare to see one hat-trick in a game and even rarer to see TWO!

Az NUFC divvint play til a week come next Munday (West Ham at SJP) mee Saturday’fix’ this week will be at Bradfaad Park Avenue where Dunston are playin’! (Been there a while back to watch an NUFC X1 play them!)

A brief match report on the Bradfaad/Dunston game will appear here sometime ower the weekend!

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB OF NOTTINGHAM 1. THE TOON 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

Posted ‘high noon 🔔 bells’ 🌺Munday 11th Novembaa 2024

AN ‘HISTORIC’ MOMENT’! GORDON’S CORNER RESULTS IN A GOAL BY ISAK—WOR FORST GOAL FROM A CORNER THIS SEASON AFTER 55 PREVIOUS FAILURES!
 

For the 3rd time this year and for the 4th time in a row we have beaten Forest 🌳 at The City Groond—a lucky groond for us, unlike Stamford Bridge in wor previous away game where we cannit get a win for love nor money!

It started off badly however az The Friar Tuck Mob took the lead in the 21st  minute through a Murillo heeder from a Elanga free kick (which should never have been given by 💩 Taylor the ref!)

Bruno, Burn 🔥 and Gordon had great chances to equalise, but we just couldn’t find the net!

HT 1-0 to them!

The big breakthrough came in the 54th minute when Anthony Gordon took a corner and with 55 previous corner failures this season, we actually scored, when his cross foond ‘Alexander the Great’ (Isak) who hit the baall home off the far post! 1-1 (See top pic)(The corner curse iz cast!)

We took the lead in the 72nd minute when Joelinton went steaming’ into the box and hit a great ‘banana shot’ past wor former keeper Matt Selzs to send the near 3,000 faithful behind that goal into raptures! 2-1 to us!

TOON FANS CELEBRATE JOELINTON’S GOAL!

9 minutes later it woz 3-1 when super sub Harvey Barnes, who had anly been on the pitch for 3 minutes, ran doon the wing and cut in, to send a shot which squeezed inside the post with Sela (sorry! that shud be  SELZS) unable to stop it! ( special that to Russs for pointing oot mee missstaykz)

This sent the faithful into complete meltdoon and the 3 points were secured! FT 3-1 to us!

The result leaves us just ONE point behind Chelsee in 3rd place in the table, but we are actually doon in 8th place, az the gap iz so tight between 3rd and 13th place in the race for Europe and a possible Champions Leegue place!—-Just ‘CHAMPION!’ 🤪👍🏁

Attendance: 30,145 (2,950 delighted Geordies!)

“WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!” 

An explanation: We say ‘The Friar Tuck Mob’, az Friar Tuck woz in the Robin Hood outlaw gang, who were from Sherwood forest near Nottingham! (Get it?🤔)

PUB CRAWL PIX Just 4 this time   2 in Newark and 2 in Nottingham

THE RAM, NEWARK

VAT AND FIDDLE, NOTTINGHAM (3rd time here this year!)

INDUSTRY, NOTTINGHAM

JB, NEWARK

JB, NOTTINGHAM

“THERE’S NO BRAINS ON THE TRAINS!” 🚂 

To get to the game we went via Newark North Gate station and Newark Castle station and then from there to Nottingham station

The first part of the jorney woz uneventful from The Toon to Newark North Gate

But the second part from Newark Castle to Nottingham, woz anything but!

There were hundreds of Toon fans waitin for the train at Newark Castle

The 4 carriage train turned up BUT we were anly allowed into the front 2 and the last 2 were completely empty!

We were packed in like sardines and could hardly move in the mad crush to get on!

The train guard told us that they were 2 trains joined together and they needed a guard for both sections!  There woz anly ONE guard however (him!) and he told us he wasn’t allowed under health and safety rules to let us into the last 2 carriages!

Honestly! we had to stand, hardy even to move wor hands and legs for the 30 minute ‘ jorney to hell’!

We pleaded with him to open the doors for the last 2 carriages, but wor pleas fell on ‘deaf ears 👂 👂 (He woz standin on the platform at the time!)

Nee thoughts for ‘health and safety’ for the passengers jammed in, at aall!

“Yi couldn’t make this farcical situation up!—Could you?

PS: For the retorn jorney we actually got seats and the train wasn’t anywhere near az packed?—Where have aall the Toon fans who were on the forst train to Nottingham gone???—we thought az there woz nee sign of them at aall!???🤔

Memo: NEVER gan to Nottingham via Newark again!