Friday 30 November 2018

THE TOON v THE JELLIED EELS MOB **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON

Posted '5:50pm bells' Friday 30th November 2018
THE BANDSTAND IN LEAZES PARK  BEHIND THE LEAZES END
(pic by 'The Silver Fox')

Tomorrow we face West Ham at SJP hopin' for wor 4th win on the spin!

Hopefully the same team that started against Bornley last Munday will be lined up at '3 bells', az they played reeely well and shud have won easily----if anly Richie hadn't missed THAT sitter and Joselu's shot hadn't rebounded back into play we would have won 4-1 and not 2-1

NUFC v WHU HISTORY LESSON:

1st meetin' 110 years ago @ SJP: 1st February 1908 
 Won 2-0  Toon goalscorer: Bill Appleyard >(Remember him?) >  Attendance: 47,285

Last meetin' 11 months ago @ London Stadium: 23rd December 2017  Won 3-2  Toon goalscorers: Saivet, Diame, Atsu
Attendance: 56,955 (3,000 Toon fans)

AALL TIME RECORD: Played 131  Won 54  Drawn 37  Lost 40

A full match report will appear here sometime on Sunday


PS: There's a boycott of the forst 11 minutes of the game by The Magpie Group in protest at The 11 years of 'The Fat Controller's miserly mismanagement
'The Geordie Times' WONT be joinin in az we 'fink' that its a complete waste of time az wor owner haz a skin az thick az a rhino and it wont bother him at aall (that's IF he bothers to torn up?)
(He WASN'T at Bornley on Munday neet!)

NUFC *** THE LAST TIME WE WON AWAY AGAINST THE CURRENT PREMYAA LEEGUE SIDES

Posted '2:25pm bells' Friday 30th November 2018
TURF MOOR IN 1975   
THE LAST TIME NUFC HAD WON THERE IN A COMPETITIVE GAME
BEFORE MUNDAY'S VICTORY

"AT LAST!"

Wor Premyaa Leegue away win against Bornley on Munday neet at Turf Moor meenz that 'The Geordie Times' haz now seen NUFC win away against EVERY current Premyaa Leegue club for a competitive game!
Bornley woz the anly one left on the list! (although we did win 1-0 in an away friendly in 2001)
The last time we had won there in a competitive game before Munday's win, woz 43 years ago in 1975

The Liverbirds are now the anly current top flight team left, who we haven't beaten away in the 21st century---wor last win at Anfield woz 23 years ago yesterday in 1995 

THE LAST TIME WE WON AWAY:

26th November 2018: The Bornley Hillbillies 2-1

7th April 2018: The Basil Brush Brigade of Lestaa 2-1

3rd December 2017: The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham 3-2

4th March 2017: 'uddersfield 3-1 (Champoinship)

28th February 2017: Ne Where Near Brightin 2-1

11th February 2017: Wulvzz: 1-0 (Championship)

13th December 2016: Sporz 2-1

7th November 2016: Bournemoooth 1-0

29th October 2014: The Blue Moonies of Manchester 2-0 (Leegue Cup)

21st December 2013: Crysil Paliss 3-0

7th December 2013: Moan U 1-0

5th October 2013: The Taffy Noses of Cardiff 2-1

2nd May 2012: Chelski OAPs 2-0

27th February 2010: The Elton John Mob of Wotfaad 2-1 (Championship)

7th November 2010: The Arse 1-0

18th September 2010: The Toffee Noses of Everton 1-0

15th December 2007: Fulim 1-0

19th September 2004: The Simon Templar Mob of Sooothampton 2-1

29th November 1995: The Liverbirds of Liverpool 1-0 (Leegue Cup)

Tuesday 27 November 2018

THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES 1 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '1:11pm bells' Tuesday 27th November 2018

"THE LANG WAIT IZ OWER!" (In more ways than one!)

We travelled doon in Big Al's 'jam jar' (NOT the sheet metal workers son!) and the others were 'International Russcue' and 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer'!
THE TALBOT

We arrived at '5:30 bells' high up in the hills of Bornley (hence: The Bornley Hillbillies!) and heeded for 'The Talbot' which iz normally wor forst 'port o call' when we come here and where 'Dave from York' and hiz 'merry men' were assembled and hoyin the 'liquid lubrications' back!
THE SWAN

It woz then onward to 'The Swan' just doon the road, before heedin for the groond in plenty of time for the '8 bells' kick off.
We got to wor seats at qwaataa to eight anly to hear that the match had been delayed for half an hour coz the referee's assessor had collapsed in the players tunnel and woz rushed to hospital!

After the lang wait, the game eventually kicked off at '8:32 bells' which iz the latest aa can ever remember a game startin in this country! 
(Aa woz in southern Spain once to watch a NUFC X1 play Huelva in a friendly and the game didn't kick off til '11:00 bells' at neet because of the heat---it finished at '12:45am bells' which meant the match had been played ower 2 days!)
1st HALF ACTION AZ NUFC ATTACK THE FAR GOAL

ANYWAY!---within fower minutes of the eventual start we were in front after a failed clearance from a Bornley defender foond Fernandez and he wellied the baall goalwards. It hit Mee (that's Ben Mee---not 'me' in the away end!) and ricocheded into the net at the far end from us, givin Hart in the home goal 'nee chance'!
2nd HALF ACTION

We were 'coastin' in 'the hills' and we doubled wor lead in the 23rd minute when a Ritchie cross from the far right foond the bonce of Ciaran Clark and he 'glanced' a heeder into the goal to send the Toon faithful wild in the end opposite! 

Inexplicably, when we were well on top, 'The Hillbillies' pulled one back in the dyin' embers of the half with a heeder by Vokes from outside the box!

The 2nd half started off just like the forst, when Matt Richie missed an absolute sitter from one yard oot with the goal gapin'!


Substitute Joselu (who had came on for Rondon) then hit the far post when it woz much easier to score!
Bornley then piled on the pressure az 'little old me' pulled mee hair oot az the clock ticked doon!

4 minutes stoppage time at the end of the half meant that Joe Hart left hiz goal to try and help get an equaliser!---It thankfully never came and the ref blew for full time at '10:28pm bells' by my phone clock and the Toon players celebrated alang with wor fans for finally winnin an away game after a 7 month wait, when we won 2-1 at Lestaa! 

It aalso ended the 'lang wait' for a Premyaa Leegue win on a Munday after TEN defeats in a row!
The lang wait woz ower at last (in more ways than one!) az we made it 3 wins in a row and 4 unbeaten!
NUFC now sit in 13th position in the leegue, havin 'leapfrogged both 'uddersfield and West Ham in the process ----AND we play the latter next Saturday at home! 

Who says that I hate Mundays?

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Fernandez, Clark, Ritchie, Diame, Ki, Kenedy (Hayden 90), Perez, Rondon (Joselu71)

Attendance: 20,628 (2,400 very happy and releeeved Toon fans!)

*

Monday 26 November 2018

THE BORNLEEE HILLBILLIES v THE TOON *** TOONEET!

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Munday 26th November 2018

"I (Definatly) DON'T LIKE MUNDAYS!"

We heed across the Peninnes tooneet to play Bornley in a live telly game!
We reeely divvint like Mundays in the Premyaa Leegue az we have lost the last TEN in a row when we have played on the forst day of the week!

We leave at '2:00pm bells' and shud be in wor forst 'waaterin hole' by '5:30 bells' at the latest!

Both Paul Dummett and Muto are unavailable, but both Shelvey and Lascelles are!
NUFC have sold the entire away allocation in wot iz yet anothaa 'must not lose' game!


Its now so tight at the bottom of the table that nearly half the clubs in the Premyaa are near the danger zone!
We sit 15th but are just 1 point off the very bottom of the table!


A full Geordie Times match and pub crawl report will follow by tomorrow afternooon!

Az per usual 'watch this space'!

Sunday 25 November 2018

RYHOPE SMBs 2 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 4 *** NORTHERN LEEGUE

Posted '11:23am bells' Sunday 25th November 2018

"mackem SLAYERS!"

With yet anothaa blank Saturday to fill in (The Toon wornt playin til Munday neet!) we heeded for 'enemy territory' in Ryhope (sund'lind) to watch 'The Bad Blue Boys' at 'The Ryhope Recreation Groond'.

A lad called Peetaa (Peter!) woz drivin and it woz just az well the sat nav woz workin, az the groond woz in the middle of a maze of dead end streets!

We had time for a quick pint in the Ryhope Cricket Club bar (next to the futbaall groond) before heedin for the match!
"SANCTUARY!"

I bought a match programme to see the team line ups, anly to discover that it woz 2 teams of invisible men playin'!
FILL YOUR OWN TEAM IN!
1: DUBRAVKA, 2: CLARK, 3: YEDLIN, 9: SHEARER!, 10: ???

Ryhope wore a red n white striped kit (az yi'd expect for a sund'lind team!), while The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston wore their aall blue strip!
The forst half woz c*ap with both teams unable to get oot of forst gear---and az the rain came doon we decided to heed back to the clubhoose just before half time for some more 'liquid lubrications' (and to avoid a soakin'!)
Just wor luck that Dunston scored through a Fitzpatrick penalty aftaa a 'hand baall' by a Ryhope player, deep into stoppage time---and of course we had missed it!

"Nevaa mind", we thought---there are more goals in this game---and were we to be proved right when Jordan Nellis struck a superb shot into the corner of the net in the 54th minute, to put 'The Bad Blue Boys' '2 up' and send their 60 odd fans wild with delight  (ower half the crowd!)

It woz 3-0 6 mins later, when this time, Fitzpatrick hit a superb stike into the bottom corner and it woz 'game ower'-----well not quite!---az 'the mackem minnows' pulled 2 goals back through Ellis and Devlin to set the norves janglin!

However, Dunston had the last say when Scott Heslop fired home to complete the scorin'! (4-2)

Dunston are still unbeaten in the leegue and are breathin doon Consett's neck at the top of the table! (Consett won az well to remain top) 
Attendance:117 (plus a gadgie watchin' from hiz bedroom window in the distance!)



INVISIBLE TEAM LINE UPS INSIDE!--







On the way back, we spotted this
bus stop aboot a mile away
from the groond!😨





Saturday 24 November 2018

YET ANOTHAA BLANKETY BLANK WEEKEND!

Posted '1:12pm bells' Saturday 24th November 2018
TURF MOOR, BORNLEY ***AZ IT LOOKED IN 1974

On Munday neet we play The Bornley 'Hillbillies', away, for a live telly game, which meenz we have yet anothaa blank Saturday to fill in.
The intention last Saturday when the International break woz on, woz to gan and watch 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, but I nevaa got there, az aa had to gan to hospital az mee leg and foot had swollen reet up for ne apparent reason and aa had to get it 'checked oot'! (A 3 hour wait!)

Thankfully the swellin haz went doon and 'its back to normal service today', when a'm off to 'enemy territory' in Ryhope (sund'lind) to watch Dunston in a Northern Leegue encoontaa!

44 years ago yesterday, we played Bornley at Turf Moor and were hammered 4-1😧 --- and an archive match report on that game iz printed below! (ground number 034)


034 turf moor burnley


(GROUND NUMBER 34)
Date of First Visit: 23rd NOVEMBER 1974
TURF MOOR, BURNLEY

BURNLEY 4
NEWCASTLE UNITED 1 (Barrowclough)
(OLD) DIVISION ONE
ATTENDANCE 19,523 (2,000 Toon fans)



"TAKIN' THE P**S!"

 The bus was chocka block az usual with *'The Waterloo Wobblers 'az wih left the Toon for this trip tih Turf Moor and of course it was aalso 'chocka' wih drink, AND!---az was the 'custom in them days, a ten gallon plastic 'p**s bucket' occupied the front stairwell.


There were ne 'tool sheds' on the busses back in the 'stone age' (aka; the sixties and
seventies!) and tih save the driver from stoppin' every ten miles or so for a 'p**s
stop', a large container tih hold wor 'surpless liquid' was VITAL! on every away
trip!. (Thus savin' valueable drinkin' time!)


The Bornley trip was ne exception tih the rule, and the stinkin' frothy 'bucket' was
full tih overflowin' az we approached the environs of this Lancashire outpost.
In fact it was that full that everytime the bus went ower a pothole on the 'A59' (and there were plenty of them!) the contents came ower the side like a giant tsunami wave! (slight
exaggeration!) and if yih wor'nt very careful, yi'd get yih troosers and skeets
washed free of charge!. (ie; it wasn't too wise tih get too close, az nature took it's
course!)


Az wih got closer tih the groond, a police outrider signalled for the driver tih
follow him, blue light flashin'. Then, az wih got within 'hocklin' distance' of the floodlights, an ower zelious rookie 'Dibble' who looked aboot sixteen years old put his hand oot tih stop the bus and read wih the 'riot act'.
The p**s bucket was leanin' precarisly against door under the weight of the p**s on the top step of the stairwell and 'young Dibble', in hiz eagerness tih get on, yanked the door and pulled it open!

 Az the door opened!--- (AYE!—YIV GUESSED IT!)---the bucket toppled ower and the entire contents spilled oot and went aall ower his shirt, tunic and flannel troosers!.
----I-T!---W-A-Z!-----H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S-!
The sight of him standin' there, speechless!, drenched tih the skin!, with steam
risin' from his uniform from the ten gallons of warm putrid p**s!, on that freezin'
caad November day!, iz somethin' that will live with iz till MEE DYIN' DAY!.
(Oh! how ah wished that a'd brought mee camara with iz!--OH! HOW AH WISHED!)


The bus was in hysterics!, az he stood there like a drooned rat!, not knaain what
tih de next!. (Toon Fans-'ONE!'---'Dibble'-'NIL!')
We were blockin' the road and the 'Dibble' who waz escortin' the bus, then came
tih wor rescue and signalled frantically for the driver tih move on az we were
causin' a massive traffic jam!.
Wor driver (fearin' he'd be nicked!) didn't need much persuasion tih move on! and
he was off like a shot!, leavin' the 'drenched Dibble' to his fate!.
(Yih COULD'NT make it up!)


Az wih entered the groond the taalkin' point waz of course aboot what happened
tih 'officer' 'Dibble' but anotha taalkin' point waz the battle that waz gannin on
before us between 'The Leazes Boot Boys' and their Bornley counterparts fortha
alang the huge terrace.
'The Longside' where we were housed waz aalso the 'Borley Boot Boys' 'pitch' and
aall that seperated the rival fans waz a metal fence doon the middle straddlin' the half
way line.
It torned out that some of wor fans had 'infiltrated' their section and boots 'n' fists
were flyin' everywhere! (In them days yih just payed on the day tih get in, and it
waz common for rival fans tih get intih the wrang end!)


Before lang and just az the teams ran oot, 'The 'Dibble Brigade' charged in and a canny few were 'collared' and led away! (some 'fans' were unceremonisly carried
oot, kickin' and screamin' az they went!, knockin' off a few of the officers' helmets
in the process, ontih the perimiter track!, but before lang the trouble died doon
and we could nuw (hopefully?) concentrate on the match!

'The Long-
side', incident-ly, waz well named, az it ran the full length of the pitch and in the distance above the main stand yih could see the moors that gave the groond it's name.
(Very picturesque!)

However!---it wasn't too 'picturesque' on the pitch and it wasn't too lang before
we were brung back doon tih earth!, and I'm of course taalkin' aboot wor woeful
match performance once again!.
This time it was Bornley who were 'TAKIN THE P**S' az they ran oot easy fower-
one winners with ex Toon player Peter Noble comin' back to haunt hiz former club
scorin' a hat-trick in the process!
Stewie Barrowclough got the Toon's 'consolation goal'? in the second half when he
cut in from the left tih shoot under Stevenson the Bornley keeper.


SUMMARY:
SO!--- that waz it then!
Bornley took the P**S! ("boo!-hoo!")
'Dibble' got the P**S! ("ha!-ha!")
And we got totally!-------P**S'T! ("yeee-haaa!")


(Az the aad sayin' ganz---"IT NEVER RAINS!"----"IT JUST 'P**SES' DOON!")




Footnote:
*'The Waterloo Wobblers' were a group of fans who frequented 'The Waterloo Pub' on the corner of Bath Lane and Westgate Road in Newcastle---namely ---


'Lang haired Mac', Marty, Dylan, Windy, Fat Wally (aka: 'Thunder Thighs!'), Santy, 'Bob the Bag' (a shoplifter!), 'Davy the Bold-One',  Davy Dowaz, Ashy, 'Plonky' Burns, 'Pete the Nose', 'Jimmy The Mask', (a man so ugly you would think he was wearin' one!) plus various others, who, through the passage of time their names aa cannit recollect at the moment! (aa think they caall it 'Alzheimer's!')


THE WATERLOO--Lost but NOT! forgotten





Geordie Glossary of Terms and Phrases (for the benefit of 'non Geordie' readers)


A
Az=as
Aboot=about
A'd=I'd
Alang=along
Aye=yes
Aall=all
Aad=old
B
Bornley=Burnley
C
Chocka=full
Collared=arrested
Cannit=cannot
Call=call
Caad=cold
D
Dibble=policeman/men
Droned=drowned
De=do
Doon=down
F
Fortha=further
Fower-one=four-one
G
Groond=ground
Ganz=goes
Gannin'=going
H
Hocklin' distance=spitting distance
I
Intih=into
Iz=is/me
K
Knaain=knowing
L
Lang=long
M
Mee=my
N
Nne=no
Nuw=now
O
Ower=over
Oot=out
Ontih=onto
P
P**s=a bodily function!
P**s't=very drunk!
S
Skeets=shoes
T
Toon=City of Newcastle/Newcastle fans/Newcastle United FC
Tool sheds=toilets
Tih=to
Taalkin'=talking
The Leazes End boot boys=Newcastle hooligans
Troosers=trousers
W
Wor=our
Wor'nt=were not
Wih=we
Wrang=wrong
Y
Yih=you
Yiv=you have
Yi'd=you would




©Fink™(the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)






Friday 23 November 2018

"IT WOZ 50 YEARS AGO TODAY!" (Part 3)

Posted '2:45pm bells' Friday 23rd November 2018

50 years ago today me and mee mate 'Billy' went to Wolves to watch The Toon.
It woz Billy's 15th borthday and he iz 65 today! (how time flyzzz!)

"HAPPY BORTHDAY TO YOO!"

An archive match report on that game iz printed below (ground number 005)

Thursday 22 November 2018

"1,000 THANKYOOOZ!"

Posted '4:00pm bells' Thorsday 22nd November 2018
"GEORDIE TIMES RULES OK!"

For the forst time in the history of the world The Geordie Times haz had ower 1,000 pageviews in a monthly period for a country ootside of the UK, when the USA recorded 1,013 hits today!

They say that futbaall (or soccer az wor friends across 'the pond' caall it), iz anly their 5th best supported sport behind American futbaall, basebaall, basketbaall and ice hockey.

But they ARE the 2nd most visitors to this site after the old UK with 44,000 plus hits in total---and we thank each and every one of yoo from New York City to San Francisco and from Chicago to New Orleans for loggin in! (Hope yoo can understand the Geordie lingo!?
"THE GEORDIE TIMES NEVER PRINTS FAKE NEWS!
I READ IT RELIGIOUSLY EVERY DAY!
HOWWIY THE LEDS!" 


GEORDIE TIMES PAGEVIEWS FOR THE LAST MONTH.
THE 'UNKNOWN REGION' IN 3rd PLACE IZ FOR MARS 
AND THE PLANETS BEYOND!

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"




MACC ATTACK!

Posted '3:10pm bells' Thorsday 22nd November 2018

A date for wor U21s Checkatrade Trophy match v Macclesfield haz been conformed az Tuesday 4th December with a '7 bells' kick off
'The Big Maccs' are currently bottom of Leegue 2 and face relegation after just one season since promotion from The National Leegue!

The game will be played @ St. James' Park and everyone must pay!
It's a fiver for big kids and just one quid for sprogs and zimmerframeites!
A result must be obtained on the neet!

This will be the forst ever meetin' between the 2 clubs at any level!

Tuesday 20 November 2018

"AUF WIEDESEHEN,MIKE!"

Posted '2:02pm bells' Tuesday 20th November 2018

"PAPER TALK!"

Geordie actor and Toon fan Kevin Whately, better known az 'Neville' in 'Auf wiedesehen, pet' and 'Lewis' in the detective series, seen here in a clip of 'Lewis' taalkin to a lass.

We'll give yoo 3 guesses wot he thinks of wor beloved owner? 'The Fat Controller'!

Monday 19 November 2018

"I'D WALK A MILLION MILES FOR ONE OF YOUR SMILES!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 19th November 2018


'The Geordie Times' iz very sad to hear aboot the passing of former club captain and left half, Jim Iley who died on Saturday aged 82

Jim played 249 times for NUFC between 1962 and 1969 and scored 16 goals and woz part of the successful promotion team of 1965, scorin the decisive goal to win promotion when we beat Bolton 2-0 on Good Friday 1965

I used to stand in the old The Leazes End in the 1960s and they had their own song for him, which went :
"I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, Jim I-ley!" 

RIP JIM

Sunday 18 November 2018

THE BIG MACC!---AND THE THREE mackems

Posted '10:56am bells' Sunday 18th November 2018

The draw for the last 32 of The Checkatrade Trophy haz been made and NUFC U21s reward for winnin their group iz a home tie against Macclesfield Toon, who currently sit rock bottom of Leegue 2!

We have NEVAA played Macclesfield at any level, so this iz a 'must gan' game for The Geordie Times!
The game iz to be played (we assume) @ SJP in the forst week of December (ne date yet)

In the last game of the group stage we beat Grimsby 3-2 at Blundell Park in front of just 547, which included 66 diehard Geordies and many were askin if this woz Grimsby's lowest crowd for a competitive game in their history!?

The mackems meanwhile took ower a thooosand to Morcambe for their Checkatrade game, and they have had a good laugh it wor 'pathetic' away support at Grimsby!

HOWEVER! they were watchin their FORST team, while NUFC fans were watchin wor RESORVE team----and last season, when the mackems could play their RESORVES at Grimsby in the same competition (because they were a Championship club) a 'crowd' of just 248 torned up which included---wait for it!--- THREE SMBs in the visitors end!!!!----that's reet, just THREE bothered to torn up when their forst team were heedin for Leegue 1
THIS iz Grimsby's lowest ever crowd!
SMB FANS TRAVEL IN FORCE TO GRIMSBY LAST SEASON 
IN THE CHECKATRADE TROPHY!

This meenz that more than 20 times az many Toon fans went to Grimsby to watch wor U21s, compared to their support!

The sund'lind echo paper then printed a story that more than double that number had actually followed the mackems to Grimsby last season and they claimed that in fact SEVEN had made the trip---"WOW!"

(Yi couldn't make it up!)

Friday 16 November 2018

AALL IN VAIN!

Posted '2:15pm bells' Friday 16th November 2018
"I'M GOING NOWHERE!"

While NUFC face wor thord blank weekend of the season due to Internationals, we again must find wor 'fix' for the weekend and az per usual in my circumstances, we will be followin' Northern Leegue side 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston when they play a home game v Stockton on Saturday afternoon!

Meenwhile 150 miles to the south, 'The Magpie Group' are planning a demonstration ootside Sports Redirect's main hub in Shirebrook!

Although 'The Geordie Times' agrees with their sentiments, it will be a wasted jorney I'm afraid, az wor beloved owner? known affectionately az 'The Fat Controller' will be anywhere but there on Saturday!---and wot will the protests achieve?---absolutely NOTHIN' I'm afraid! 
Aa meen!, he iz hardly gannin to sell the club because of any protests against him az he iz (very!) thick skinned! (AND a lang way away from Shirebrook!)

NO! the anly way we will get rid of him iz if a very rich buyers comes alang and rumour haz it that an USA investor iz interested this time!---We've hord aall this before of course and just like the muthaa in law who lives with yoo---and who yoo cant get rid of---the same iz true of 'The Fat Controller'---beleeeve yoo me!

CHECK IT OOT!

Posted '1:16pm bells' Thorsday 15th November 2018
Updated Friday

The draw for the next roond of The Checkatrade Trophy takes place on Friday @ '1:00pm bells'
NUFC U21s won wor group and are to be rewarded with a home tie against one of the followin':
Stoke U21s, Man City U21s, Bury's 1st team, Macclesfield's 1st team, Waalsaal's 1st team, Oldim's 1st team or Lincoln's 1st team

The tie to be played sometime in December with Wembley 'the carrot on the stick' for the final!

We have ne idea wethaa the game will take place @ St. James' Park or Blue Flames Sports groond in Benton! (aka Whitley Park)

Az soon az we find oot we will let yi naa!

Updated '1:17pm bells' Friday

Its MACCLESFIELD TOON! 
Tie to be played commencin' December 3rd

Wednesday 14 November 2018

MAD-SAD GR😨UNDH😨PPER MAYHEM!😨!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 14th November 2018

"COMPLETE COCKERELS COCK UP!"

It haz been reported that there iz a very reeel chance that wor game v Sporz in their new stadium in February might NOT take place az it iz still not ready, despite claims that it would definatly be open by Xmas!
Contractors are apparently tornin up on site, drunk and on drugs and some have nowt to de az deliveries have not arrived!
The loonatics are runnin the asylum in this case!


The whole situation iz a complete farce and Sporz fans are not 'happy bunnies' because of this---and neethaa are WE, 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', who were lookin forward to a visit to a new groond---and who now face the prospect of a visit to Wembley yet again, with many of us lookin for wor forst competitive win there in 8 attempts (3 FA Cup final losses, 1 Leegue Cup final loss, 1 FA Cup semi-final loss, 1 Charity Shield loss) and 1 Premyaa Leegue loss!) (v Sporz last season)

Yoo would have to be at least 70 years old to remember and witness wor last win there, in the 1955 FA Cup final! (63 years ago and coontin'!)

There iz still a smaall chance that we WILL play at the new stadium this season----but 'divvint coont yi chickens yet'! 

PS: Az the pitch and stands are in a different place to the old ones, we class it az a new groond!

Wembley's pitch and stands are in the same place az they were before it woz rebuilt, so it izn't a new groond!
('NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' rule 37 B!)
OLD AND NEW WEMBLEY SUPER IMPOSED
(Yoo can fit the old one inside the new one!)



Tuesday 13 November 2018

GRIMSBEEE v THE TOON U21s *** TOONEET

Posted '2:25pm bells' Tuesday 113th November 2018
Updated 10:00pm bells in Eccles on a night truck run!

Tooneet NUFCs resorve side travel to Grimsbeee for a Checkatrade Trophy match---Just one point iz needed to qualify for the last 32 and a possible meetin' with the SMBs senior team! (Can yoo imagine that---wor resorves v the mackems forst team!!!!

Anyway!--the game kicks off at '7:45 bells' and if yoo are gannin the away end iz open, priced £5 for big kids and £1 for little kids and sprogs get in FREE!

'The Geordie Times' forst visited Grimsbeee  36 years ago in 1982, where we drew 2-2 in the old 2nd Division---and we have been there a couple of times since---az this iz a resorve game on a groond we have been te before, we wont be gannin---BUT a few of the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are and we will bring yoo the result az soon az we find oot!

PS: Their groond iz actually in Cleethorpes, so divvint heed for Grimsbeee or yoo will miss the game!!!😮

Updated 10:00pm bells

FT Grimsbeee 2 The Toon U21s 3

The Toon won this 5 goal thriller after comin from behind to progress to the last 32 of the competition with a Wembley final the carrot on the end of the stick.

Goals from Callum Roberts (shot) Elias Sorensen (heeder) and Matty Longstaff (free kick) sealed the win in front of 547 includin 66 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!

NUFC win the group and will have a home tie in the next roond because of this---The draw iz on Friday!

Sunday 11 November 2018

THE TOON 2 BOURNEMOOOTH 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019


Posted '10:20am bells' Remembrance Sunday 11th November 2018---Updated '11:21am bells' Munday
A DISPLAY OF POPPIES @ THE GALLOWGATE END!

"WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!"

Exactly 100 years ago today the 1st World War ended--and yesterday, az you'd expect, there woz a minutes silence at St James' Park and aall futbaall groonds around the country!

The game woz won by 2 goals in the forst half from Soloman Rondon, the 2nd a spectacular 'bullet' heeder at The Leazes End which Wyn Davies and Alan Shearer would have been proud of!

Bournemoooth pulled one back just before the break and it woz nailbitin stuff in the 2nd period az they tried to get the equaliser!
They DID'NT and for the 2nd game in a row we took the 3 points to move us up to the dizzy heights of 14th in the table, but still just one point above the drop zone!

Sorry that this iz just a brief report for now, but I have got to pay my respects at '11:00am bells' to 'The glorious dead' at my local war memorial!

Updated 'high noon bells' Munday
Spot the 1,300 Bournemoooth fans huddled 
in the corner of the top deck of The Leazes End

How the goals were scored:
7th minute: Yedlin sends a cross in from the right at the Leazes End and Rondon's subsequent shot iz saved by Begovic in the visitors goal---but the baall rebounds to wor number 9 and he fires the baall into the net to score hiz forst Premyaa Leegue goal for The Toon!

39th minute: After a 10 minute delay due to an twisted knee injury to Bournemoooth's Adam Smith, Kenedy sends in a pin point cross and Rondon's bullet-heeder gives their keeper ne chance, az we double wor lead!---az the crowd explodes!

45+ 6 minutes: 'The Cherry Pickers' reduce the deficit when Lerma heeds into the Gallowgate End net (Their nickname iz: The Cherries!) 

The 2nd half woz a bit nervy az wor visitors tried to find the equaliser, but some excellent saves from Dubravka in The Toon goal saved the day and then near the end, Rondon  missed a great chance to get hiz hat-trick when he woz clean through on goal, but hiz effort woz put behind by Begovic for a corner!
The ref gave a goal kick, but the linesman on The Milburn Stand side flagged to say that iz woz a corner! (how the ref couldn't see that iz a mystery az he woz just a few feet from the incident!?)

The linesman in question had seemingly given every decision before that to Bournemoooth, and one wag behind me commented that: "Hiz flag must only be able to gan one way!"

With 9 minutes left ex SMB striker Defoe came on and we feared the worst!----But we managed to hold oot and the ref finally blew hiz whistle @ '5:03pm bells' (due to the forst half injury to Smith) az we picked up 'back to back' wins for the forst time in 9 months!

Things are lookin UP at last!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Fernandez, Dummett, Ritchie (Hayden 74), Diame, Ki, Kenedy (Clark 78), Perez, Rondon

Attendance: 49,266 (just 1,300 Cherry Pickers!)

IF Bournemoooth had sold their full allocation of 3,200 tickets the crowd would have been: 51,166

*Geordie Times factfile: Salamon Rondon became the 144th different player to score for us in The Premyaa Leegue!
We are nuw just 3 behind Sporz at the top of the pile, who have 147 different scorers

Footnote: Before the match we were in 'The Bodega' boozer on Westgate Road, where Cardiff were playin Brightin on the telly. 
A buglar played the last post and then there woz a minutes silence. The packed pub went deathly quiet az fans stopped wot they were doin' and observed the minutes silence!

That's the forst time I have ever seen this in a pub!

"LEST WE FORGET!"
6 NUFC players were killed in World War 1
The 4 ringed are Tom Goodwill, Dan Dunglinson, Owen McManus and Tom Cairns
Also killed were George Rivers and Richard McGough




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