Sunday, 16 July 2017

THE JAM TARTS 1 THE TOON 2 *** PRE SEASON FRIENDLY 2017-2018

Posted '9:00pm bells' Saturday 15th July 2017
Updated Sunday

"A FISHY TALE TO MAKE YOO WHALE!"

The meetin' point for wor forst pre season 'jaunt' woz in 'The Central', where we caught the '12:45 bells' train to Edinburgh!

It woz then a 'pub crawl' around Princess Street and beyond before heedin' for Tynecastle

In one of the pubs on the way called 'The Bailie' we decided to have a 'nose bag' az well, az we were 'clammin' by this point!
'Big Al' (not the sheet metal workers son!) opted for some Aberdeeen Angus steak and chips at a 'tenner', while me and 'Sarnie Steve' ordered a smaall fish and chips for £7:50
Back the waitress came with Big Al's steak and Steve's smaall fish n chips---she then came back with mine sayin' "here's your LARGE fish n chips!" (£10:50!)
"I anly ordered a smaall fish!", said I, az she plonked the plate doon in front of me!
"Oh sorry!" she said, "I'll go and see the chef!"
Back she came and told me to just eat woz in front of me and I would anly be charged the lower price!

I hoyed tons of salt and vinegar on and stabbed a chuck of fish onto my fork---just az I woz aboot to devour the fish, back the waitress came and told me that the fish woz the chefs meal and she would come back with a smaaller portion---and like a scene from the 'Fawlty Towers' 'Hotel Inspector' episode, she snatched the plate away az I sat there with my knife a fork at the ready!
(In that episode a hotel inspector ordered some veal and just az he woz aboot to eat it, in came 'Basil Fawlty' to snatch it away az it had been covered in rat poison!)

Back she came with anothaa fish which woz actually BIGGER than the one she'd taken away!---(I hope yoo are followin' aall this?)
It woz the size a baby WHALE!--but I wasn't gonna complain and (finally!) got stuck into it before she could take it away again!
(Yoo couldn't make it up!)
A few more boozers later and it woz time to heed for the groond!

A 10,000 crowd were present includin' 1,400 from Tyneside in wot woz in effect a 3 sided groond, coz of buildin' work on a new main stand to wor left
SPOT THE FREEBEEZ!

We started off well and Aarons hit the bar in the 2nd minute before Dwight Gaye put us in front 2 mins later with a low shot!

The Jam Tarts equalised from Walker in the 24th minute after some sloppy play by 'us'
We regained the lead however just 2 minutes later when Gayle got hiz 2nd goal, heedin' in Shelvey's corner kick!

Some fine saves from Rob Elliot followed and we went in 2-1 up at the break!
6 changes were made at the start of the 2nd half includin' 'new boy' Flo Lejuine, but we couldn't add to the score, although Lejuine did hit the woodwork late on!


Full time: 2-1 to 'us'

Toon squad that woz used (deep breath!) Elliot, Haidera, Clark, Mbemba, Lascelles, De Jong, Atsu, Diame, Shelvey, Aarons, Gayle, Woodman, Gamez, Dummett, Hanley, Lajuine, Colback, Saivet, Armstrong, Mitrovic, Laazar, Perez
(22 in total!)

Attendance: 10,001 (1,468 Toon fans) (plus 5 or 6 'freebee' builders watchin' from the new stand under construction--see photo!) *

Edinburgh pub crawl total: 6












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