Monday, 21 November 2016

LEEEEDZ 0 THE TOON 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '2:30pm bells' Munday 21st October 2016

Forst of aall apologeeez for not updatin' on a more regular basis---this iz because my 'geordietimes.com' website went doon and up til now aa still cant get it back online, despite tryin' for the last 3 weeks! (The Google helpline iz NE help by the way!)

"THE TALE OF CHRISTOPHER COLAMITOUS!" 
"IT'S MUCH QUICKER CIRCUMNAVIGATIN' THE WORLD, THAN LEEEDZ!"

The 3 carriage Trans-Pennine train wasn't big enough to take aall the Toon fans and regular customers and this resulted in some people havin' to stand in the allyways for the entire jorney (memo to Trans-Pennine----put more carriages on the next time, yoo idiots!)
Aa waz lucky and managed to grab a seat before they were aall taken--and didn't dare move an inch in case someone nicked it!

On arrival 2 hours later in central Leeedz, we heeded for a couple of boozers just doon the road from the station for some much needed 'liquid lubrication'


Amongst wor party waz 'Colonel Gadaffi' (the one from Bracknell in Berkshire, NOT Tripoli!), 'Faulty Towers' (who didn't have a ticket!) and hiz bruvvaa 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber'!
It waz soon time to heed for the match (1:15 ko) and 2 taxis were hailed to take us to Elland Road which iz on the outskirts of Leeedz. Wor taxi cost £12 (plus a £2 tip) and the othaa one cost £6!  (theres a 'rabbit off' somewhere mee finx!)
We were allocated less than 3,000 tickets but there waz still chaos at the tornstiles az my ticket wouldn't scan! (amongst othaa fans!)----A ticket office waz just roond the corner and the gadgie gave me a new one---with a different seat number on it to the one aa had!?

After pushin' mee way up the stairs aa just saw the kick off and sat in a seat near the exit! (NOT mee new seat!)  Aall the alleyways were full with fans unable to get to their propaa seats az it waz total chaos here az well!
1st HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON (IN WOR 'BUMBLE BEE' KIT)
ATTACK THE ELLAND ROAD END

The Toon were on the 'front foot' from the start and were by far and away the better side' az we attacked the Elland Road End.
In the 11th minute there waz loud applause for the late Gary Speed who played number 11 for both clubs
The forst goal came in the 23rd minute when the Leeedz goalie parmed a baall ott---straight to Gayle whod had some teeth knocked oot a few days orlier in a fight--and he 'knocked' the baall into the net to the delight of the travellin' faithful who were situated on the side of the pitch near to that goal line!

The 2nd came from Gayle again in the 2nd half when an Anita cross in the 54th minute foond Gayle who slammed the baall home to claim the 3 points and 9th league a cup victory in a row, which equalled wor all time record set in 1994 in the Kevin Keegan era!
IT'S NEARLY FULL TIME!----LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!!!

After the match we called into 'The Bull' which iz on Pleasant Terrace!---(see pix) for a quick gargle on wor waalk back to the city centre. A'm not sayin' the boozer waz rough but it had ne windows (which had ne doubt been put in by some local plonkies!)--and the hooses in 'Pleasant Terrace'? had bars on the windows and doors to keep oot the local burglars!
PLEASANT TERRACE?---YI HAVIN' A LAFF!

'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' had worked in Leeedz for 12 weeks in the past and knew the quickest way back to the train station (NOT!) The 25 minute walk torned into a one which waz an hour plus az we heeded for the large tower block which dominates the skyline---despite waalkin for 30 mins we were ne closer az we circumnavigated every postcode in Leeedz!--- eventually arrivin' back at wor forst 'port o call' near the station at 5 to 5 bells-- with blisters on wor blisters! (the match ended at 3:15!)
"WE'RE GETTIN' CLOSER!---OH NOT WE'RE NOT!!!"

'Colonel Gadaffi' commented that Christopher Columbus would have got us there quicker---(the gadgie that circumnavigated the world a few hundred years ago----'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' waz then renamed 'Christopher Colamitous' on hiz 'circumnavigation of Leeedz!

* Toon team line up: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Colback (Hayden 83), Shelvey, Gouffran (Diame 76), Perez, Gayle (Mitro 79)

Attendance: 36,002 (2,764 Toon fans) Leedz largest crowd for 6 years!)
     

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