Friday, 30 September 2016

THE NEW YORK YORKIES v THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '12:55pm bells' Friday 30th September 2016
"IZ THAT ROTHERHAM DOON THERE???"

We pay wor forst ever visit to New York tomorrow afternoon when we heed for the delights? of ROTHERHAM! in deepest Yorkshire!

For Rotherham play at The New York Stadium in the suburb of 'New York' and (unfortunately) NOT! the 'Big Apple' in America!----(Apparently they made the fire hydrants for New York City in a foundry in the Yorkshire toon many years ago and the district acquired the name because of that!)

Whilst we are 'on a high' after the fantastic result on Wednesday v Norwich (see match report below!), wor opponents sit in 'rock bottom place' in The EFL---but remember this IZ NUFC and ANYTHING can happen! 

We are on the 8:25 bells train in the mornin' and shud arrive in the 'Little Apple' by openin' time!
Aall 2,500 away tickets were selt oot lang ago!

Match report to follow on Sunday!  

Thursday, 29 September 2016

THE TOON 4 THE CANARY CUSTARD CREAMS 3 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 29th September 2016
1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END
(View from Milburn Stand balcony)

"VICTORY FROM THE JAWS OF DEFEAT AZ GAYLE BLOWS THE CANARIES AWAY!"

Wot can aa say aboot this game???--A game that started off in a howlin' gale, waz totally dominated by NUFC in the forst 20 minutes and we shud have been at least 5 (FIVE!) up by this time az we attacked the Gallowgate goal, hittin' the woodwork/near misses etc!

The break through came in the 24th when Matt Richie centred from the right and Gayle (appropriately, because of the wethaa conditions!) slotted the baall home!---and then disaster struck just 1 minute before the break when Gouffran pulled Brady doon to concede a penalty and Dorrans made ne misteakk from the spot!
(1-1 at half time)

A forthaa disaster then struck just minutes after the restart when Norwich took the lead when Jarone corled a shot past Darlow in the Toon goal!
Disaster number 3 soon came when wor visitors went 3-1 up when a deflected shot beat Darlow in the 70th minute!

Aall looked lost at this stage az the wind howled aroond the park but we didn't give up and Dwight Gayle replied aalmost immediately when a great pass from Shelvey foond hiz feet and he toe poked the baall home!

2nd HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL

'The Custard Creams' then went into 'waste time mode' with some ridiculous antics and 6 minutes were added because off this!

By the 90th minute many fans had left includin' mee 5 year old grandson Zac who waz with hiz dad--but I told Jamie mee 6 year old grandson who waz with me, that we must stay to the bitter end!---and he waz rewarded with a goal in the 5th minute of stoppage time when Gouffran heeded home to salvage a point! --- But NO!--we wernt happy with this and in the SIXTH minute of added time Dwight Gayle unbelievably got the winner when he chested the baall doon from a Mitrovic pass to claim hiz hat-trick and send the crowd into ecstasy az the Canaries were blown away in the wind!!!!! BREATHTAKIN' STUFF!!!!

The win takes us up to 3rd place in the table just one point behind wor opponents and three behind 'uddersfield who sit in top spot!

How does that old song gan again?
"3-1 doon!, 4-3 up!---and its broon ale we will sup!"

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett (Atsu 92), Shelvey, Colback (Hayden 71), Richie, Gouffran, Diame (Mitrovic 71), Gayle

Attendance: 48,236 (we predicted 49,000) (700 very sick Canaries huddled in the corner of 'Level 7'!)

*   

Wednesday, 28 September 2016

THE TOON v THE CANARY CUSTARD CREAMS *** EFL *** TOONEET!

Posted '1:30pm bells' Wednesday 28th September 2016
2 CATHEDRALS AND A 'NEW' CASTLE!

WE gan into toneets vital top of the table game against a Norwich side who were knocked off their top perch by 'uddersfield Toon last neet!
NUFC are currently in 9th place after last neets results so 3 points are a must which will propel us back up to 3rd spot!

It wont be easy of course but if we play like we did in the forst half against Villa then there shud be ne problem!
High winds and rain are forecast for this evenin' which could put a spanner in the works!
Ower 47,000 tickets have been sold so far and we predict a 49,000 crowd tooneet!

A full match report will appear here sometime tomorrow!

GROUNDHOG DAY FOR A GREEDY FAT PIG!!!!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 28th September 2016

'GEORDIE TIMES' EXCLUUUSIVE!!!!
BIG FAT SAM  (in the middle!) WITH HIZ AGENT (left)
AND HIZ ACCOUNTANT (right)

Big Fat Sam woke up this mornin' havin' just lost hiz 'dream' £3 million job after tryin' to stick hiz nose 'into the trough' to grab another £400,000 'to make ends meet'!

While the rest of 'us' can anly 'dream' of that kind of dosh, he haz been caught red handed, bitin' the hand that feeds him and stabbin' The FA in the back!

Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke---could it??????


"HELLO ELLIS!---CAN I HAVE MY JOB BACK PLEASE!?"


PS: Did yoo know that he waz born on Old Park FARM, Dudley, West Midlands!
---Very appropriate under the circumstances---don't yoo 'fink'!?!

Sunday, 25 September 2016

THE HAZBEENZ & VILLANS 1 THE TOON 1 ***EFL 2016-2017

Posted '11:01am bells' Sunday 25th September 2016

"SING IN THE TOP TIER!" ^

A game that we shud have won 'oh so easily' waz nearly tossed away at the end az we defended frantically!

It started off 'oh so well' with us poundin' the packed Holte End where the Hazbeenz fans were congregated!
However!--othaa parts of the ground were splattered with empty seats and the main stand opposite us had the top deck completely closed!
This waz 'ammunition' to the packed Toon end az they took the p*ss, singin': "Your grounds too big for yoo!" and "Sing in the top tier!"------and we have to tell yoo that there waz ne response at aall from the 6,000 empty claret coloured seats!!?
THE TOON ATTACK THE HOLTE END (1st half)
(We are in black n white stripes for a change at an away game!)


"HIERARCHICAL MERITOCRACY!" <(look it up in the dictionary if yoo divvint naa wot it meenz!)

Anyway!--we attacked and attacked and eventually we made the breakthrough in the 28th minute when when Yedlin ran doon the right wing and crossed for Gayle, but a Villa defender got there forst and sliced the baall into hiz own goal to give us a richly desorved lead!

We couldn't improve on that with several missed chances and a penalty claim torned doon after that and we went into the interval with the slim lead.

That waz to prove decisive az again in the orly parts of the 2nd half we missed good chances to bury the game, especially Diame, who somehow managed to slice a shot wide from 6 yards oot!  
And sensin' a chance the home side came to life az they started pounded wor goal at The Holte End az we norvouslee looked on!
2nd HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE WITTON END

With Matt Sels lookin' indecisive and 'wobbly' in wor goal the inevitable happened with just 2 mins left on the clock when Tishibola heeded in off the post with Sels 'flappin'!
Villa could have snatched it in 6 mins of stoppage time, but we somehow hung on for the draw!
2 points lost when we shud have easily won!

Toon team: Sels, Yedlin (Tiote 75), Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Hayden, Shelvey, Richie, Gouffran, Diame, Gayle (Mitrovic 80)

Attendance: 32,062 (2,800 Toon fans) (10,000 empty claret and light blue seats!)      

*

Friday, 23 September 2016

THE HAZBEENZ & VILLANS v THE TOON **** TOMORROW EVENIN'!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 23rd September 2016

Tomorrow we heed for one of wor least fave haunts, namely Villa Park, where we have been demoted too many times to mention in recent years!
Their fans arnt very 'Geordie friendly' eethaa az they 'celebrated' wor demise last season and in 2009 when they hung banners from The Holte End with 'Who's your next messiah ---Ant or Dec' and 'Sob on the Tyne' written on them! <(horrible tw*ts!)
Thankfully they were relegated az well last season and 3 points for us would de 'very nicely' thank yoo very much'!

Aall 2,800 away tickets sold oot lang ago with Villa refusin' to sell us anymore despite shuttin' parts of their groond to home fans because of low demand! <(another reason to dislike them!)

After finishin' graft at '3 bells' in the mornin' there iz time to get 4 hours kip "ZZZZzzzz!!!!" before gettin' up again and heedin' for 'The Central' to catch the train to New Street (Bormingham)

A full match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

THE TOON 2 WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ 0 *** EFL CUP 3rd ROOND

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 21st September 2016
ACTION AT 'THE GALLOWGATE END' AZ THE TOON LAY SIEGE
TO THE WOLVES GOAL!

This waz a much better performance and reversal of the result against Wolves on Saturday, with a much changed team!

Matt Richie and 'Goofy' Gouffran were the heroes of the day with 2 forst half goals in a 3 minute spell @ The Gallowgate End!
8 Changes to the startin' line up against Wolves on Saturday were made and anly Shelvey, Richie and Diame retained their places from that game!

The Toon laid siege to the visitors goal with a series of corners and we finally made the breakthrough on the half hour mark when Matt Richie hit a superb 'curler' into the corner of the net to put us 1-0 up!
It wasn't lang til the 2nd goal came when Richie centred and Gouffran hit an even better shot into the goal with a volley from 20 yards oot to send most of the (Excellent!) 34,000 plus crowd into raptures!
2nd HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON ATTACK THE FAR 'LEAZES' GOAL!

The were ne more goals in the 2nd half az 'The Wanabeez' tried in vain to find the back of wor net with Karl Darlow (in goal for Sels)makin' some fine saves!

We progress to the 4th roond where the draw will be made after the Northampton v Man U game tooneet!---Wouldn't that be great!---NORTHAMPTON!!! away in the next roond to 'clock up' a new groond!!!!????

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Hanley, Clark, Lazaar, Richie (Lascelles 85), Shelvey, Colback, Gouffran (Atsu 75), Diame (Perez 71), Murphy

Attendance: 34, 735 (just 500 Wolves fans this time) (3,200 on Saturday!)  Highest attendance of the roond so far!      *   

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

THE TOOHN v WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ (AGAIN!) *** EFL CUP 3rd ROOND

Posted '11:15am bells' Tuesday 20th September 2016

For the 2nd time in 3 days we face Wolves @ SJP and we can anly hope that we put in a better performance than on Saturday against them this time!?

A half capacity crowd iz expected

Az aa type this there iz glorious sunshine ower Tyneside!

Match report tomorrow!

Sunday, 18 September 2016

THE TOON 0 WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '9:43am bells' Sunday 18th September 2016
A MISSED CHANCE AT THE LEAZES END AZ A TOON FAN
HOLDS HIZ HEED IN HIZ HANDS! (JUST ABOOT SUMS THE DAY UP!)

"TYPICAL TOON!"

Just when yoo are sittin' high up on a pedestal, somebody throws a rock at yoo and knocks yoo off!
We've seen it aal before of course--aa can remember way back in the 1960's when we were unbeaten at home for nearly a year when little Carlisle came to Toon for an FA Cup tie!
WE would surely hammer them!---but oh no!---we lost 1-0 in front of 56,000 to bow oot of the competition! (mee forst FA Cup defeat at home!)
And then with Kevin Keegan at the helm and flyin' high we went to Cambridge who were on a 30 odd game winless streak ---a new futbaall leegue record---BUT of course they won 1-0!
And then there waz Grimsby Toon!---a winnin' 11 game streak at the start of the season---and Grimsby win 1-0! <(a 'grim' day indeed!)  <(sic!)


There are many many more times like this and yet anothaa one came yesterday afternoon in front of a sell-oot crowd!
After demolishin' QPR 6-0 last Tuesday, we played abysmally against a Wolves side who had lost 4-0 at home to Barnsley on the same night az the QPR game!

We play them again on Tuesday neet in the Leegue Cup and the anly thing that iz certain iz that there wont be 52,000 there to witness it!

A bad day at the office with an own goal from Mbemba, a bad missteakk from Perez (to give the 2nd goal away!)  and a sendin' off for Anita---nothin' much more to say---iz there???

Toon team: (who didn't torn up!) Sels, Anita, Dummett, Shelvey, Lascelles, Mbemba, Hayden (Mitrovic 63), Diame, Gayle, Perez, Richie (Atsu 63)

Attendance: 52,117 (3,200 'Wanabeez')  *

Friday, 16 September 2016

THE TOON v WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 16th September 2016
VIEW OF 'THE GALLOWGATE END' FROM 'THE STRAWBERRY' BOOZER

Followin' wor fantastic 6-0 win at QPR on Tuesday neet, we find worsels up against a Wolves side who lost 4-0 at home to BARNSLEY on the same neet!

So!--on paper this looks a formality, but in reality it ISNT!

'Rafa the Gaffa' haz rotated the squad in the last 2 away games with great success and we can anly hope that this 'formula' will bring us forthaa victories to add to the 'six in a row' and keep 'the momentum' gannin!

'uddersfield Toon lost for the forst time this season--again on Tuesday and we nuw sit just ONE point behind them in 2nd place in the table!

'The Wanabeez' have sold their entire 3,200 allocation of tickets for 'level 7 of 'The Leazes End' and 'The Geordie Times' predicts a 52,000 crowd will assemble @ SJP (We WONT predict the result however az this would be 'the kiss of death'!)

Thunderstorms, lightenin' and heavy rain were batterin' Tyneside orly this mornin' but hopefully the wethaa will be 'OK on the day' 

More to follow later!  

Thursday, 15 September 2016

006 (revisited) rangers stadium (loftus road) qpr

Ground number 6
Date of this visit: 13th September 2016
Rangers Stadium, Loftus Road, London

Queens Park Rangers 0
Newcastle United 6

EFL
Attendance: 17,404 (3,005 Toon fans)

JONJO SHELVEY (NEXT TO REF IN WOR 'BUMBLE BEE' STRIP)
HITS AN EXORSET MISSILLE! (SEE 'TRAIL'!)

 

Diary of a trucker/Toon fan!

Munday afternoon started off az usual with mee night trunk to Redditch in deepest Worcestershire to pick carpets and floorin' up!
A'd started at '2:15 bells' in the afternoon and had a canny trip doon arrivin' at '8 bells' to tip and pick mee load of stillages up filled with carpets etc!

2 motorway closures on the way back added to mee 444 mile (roond trip) jorney and aa finished work at '3 am bells! (Tuesday)

A few hours later after aboot 5 hours kip "ZZZZzzzz!!!!" it waz time to get up again to catch the midday train to King's Cross for wor game against QPR in Shepherd's Bush "west Landan!" (300 miles)
It waz boilin' hot and aa had to move from mee window seats az the 'current bun' blazed through the glass!

Az we couldn't get back a hotel waz needed, which waz near Russell Square, not to far from King's Cross station
After dumpin' wor bags in the hotel it waz time to---"gan on the hoy!" before heedin' for the groond!
"ON THE HOY' HERE!"

Loftus Road iz probably the most cramped stadium in London with it bein' hemmed in on aall sides by low rise flats!
Wor view from the 2nd back row of the top stand waz not good (see photos!) az yoo can hardly see the goal line from there but we knew that anyway from previous visits here!

Little did we realise that we would see history bein' made az the game kicked off with wor biggest away leegue win in wor history bein' equalled and QPR's worst ever home defeat!
It waz aalso the hottest day aa can remember for a game with temps in the high 90s!

The goal sequences were az follows:
12th minute: A Jonjo Shelvey shot at the far end from us waz deflected into the net by a QPR defender (1-0 to 'us'!)

30th minute: Perez shoots and the rebound faalls nicely back to him to fire the baall into the goal (2-0 to 'us'!)

52nd minute: Shelvey, on the edge of the box hits an unstoppable shot into the top corner of the net and I actually got a photo of it az it flew into the net like an *exoset missile! (*sorry aboot the spellin' misteak!) (3-0 to 'us'!)

56th minute: An unmarked Ciron Clark heeds in a Matt Richie corner! (4-0 to 'us'

63rd minute: Mitrovic gets in on the act with a simple tap in! (5-0 to 'us'

79th minute: Grant Hanley completes the rout with a toe poked effort az the home fans empty their sections of the groond!
(SIX! -NIL to 'US'!)   
END OF MATCH CELEBRATIONS!

We aalso had a goal disallowed in this game and hit the woodwork on at least 2 occasions---the most one sided leegue game av ever witnessed! (Wot would Shepherd's Bush finest, 'Steptoe and Son' have made of it all?) 

After the match we heeded for Holburn and The Shakespeare pub to celebrate wor fantastic win!

Next mornin' it waz back on the train to The Toon and straight back to work with anothaa 444 roond trip to Worcestershire in the offin'!

Waz it worth aall the effort?  "YOO BET IT WAZ!"

Toon team: Sels, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett (Hanley 65), Gouffran (Atsu 61), Hayden, Shelvey, Richie, Perez, Mitrovic (Yedin 81)

PS: The anly bigger away victory av seen came in a Leegue Cup tie at Notts Coonty a few years back when we won 7-1!

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

QUEENS PARK RAG & BONE MEN 0 THE TOON 6 (SIX!)

Posted '12:40pm bells' Wednesday 14th September 2016

Pleeeze be patient with me after this fantastic result @ QPR!
I have just got off the train from King's Cross and have to gan straight to work now and drive mee truck on the night trunk to Redditch in deepest Worcestershire--so!--I divvint have the time to de a match report on last neets game--- yet!
I WILL de one sometime tomorrow---I normally get back at '2:30 bells' in the mornin'--gan to bed ---"ZZZZzzzz!!!!" --and get up again at '11 bells'

I've got a fantastic photo of Jonjo Shelvey's spectacular 2nd goal from the away end and I will publish that tomorrow az well---Like 'The Geordie Times' haz said many times in the past---
"We will bring yoo aall the latest Toon news 2nd hand---forst"!

Monday, 12 September 2016

THE SHERPHERD'S BUSH RAG & BONE MEN v THE TOON **** TOONEET!

Posted '1:20pm bells' Munday 12th September 2016

At dinnaatime tomorrow we heed for 'The Central' once more to catch the train to King's Cross and then onward to 'SteptoeLand' in "west Landan!" for wor game against QPR @ Loftus Road

Aall 2,700 away tickets have been sold for 'The School End' az we try for wor 'sixth win in a row'!
A Geordie Times match report will appear here later in the week--when aa get a chance to 'de it'!  (Got to gan straight to work when aa get off the train on Wednesday!)

It's 48 years since aa forst went to Loftus Road (aka Rangers Stadium) in 1968 when we drew 1-1---and aa make 'ne apologeee for 'diggin' up' the archive match report from that day (Iz it reeely 48 years ago!?)
With both 'The Arse' and 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham movin' onto 'pastures new', this iz now the oldest groond left in London that aa forst went te! (Match report on that game below!) 

006 rangers stadium (loftus road) qpr



(GROUND NUMBER 6)

Date of First Visit: 21st DECEMBER 1968
RANGERS STADIUM, LOFTUS ROAD, LONDON


QUEENS PARK RANGERS 1
NEWCASTLE UNITED 1 (Alan Foggon)


(OLD) DIVISION ONE

ATTENDANCE 16,444 (1,000 Toon fans----aall in 'The Loft'!)


 

  

"SERVIN' WOR APPRENTICESHIPS!"





"MERRY XMAS FROM SHEPHERDS BUSH!"




 
This was Q.P.R.'s inaugrial season in the 'top flight', and we arrived in good time, (six am again!) for this Christmas fixture at Shepherd's Bush. (where Q.P.R. play)

('We' bein', Me, Billy, Dylan, Collie and Dekka)


Shepherd's Bush waz aalso the 'home' of two of mee telly cult hero's of the time, namely, Harold and Albert Steptoe, who were 'rag 'n' bone' men in the classic 'Steptoe and Son'. Alang with their trusted horse 'Hurcules' they used tih trawl the streets of London collectin' anythin' from scrap metal tih peoples cast off clayz.


 


And low and behold!, az we were mekin' wor way tih the groond, a horse 'n' cart appeared around the corner with a gadgie shoutin' sommik unprenooncable at the top of hiz voice! (az they did!)



                                                                

And I 'kid you not', he waz the 'spit' of Harold with hiz cloth cap, lang sideborns, scruffy coat and rolled doon wellies! He waz deein' a roarin' trade az he strolled alang with half an aad car exhaust pipe as an impromptu waalkin' stick!


 
(Aa naa that it's a rare sight theeze days, but!, back in the 60's, rag 'n' bone men were a common sight on the streets of Britain) (az were milkmen!---remember them???)


 
Hiz cart was full tih the brim, with an aad tin bath tekin' 'pride of place' on the top of the pile of junk, as his horse (Hercules II?) 'clip clopped' it's way doon the street!

The anly problem of course, was---it WAS'NT Harold!---but! (az yh dee!) ah felt ah had tih have a bit 'crack' with him anyway!


 
For a laugh ah asked where hiz faatha Albert waz, but aall ah got waz one of those: "YEE'D BETTA F*** OFF!, OR ALL BRAY YIH WI' MEE 'WAALKIN' STICK'", looks! (needless tih say---ah did'nt press him for an answer and 'hurried' towards the floodlights!)


 
ANYWAY!---(and getting' back tih futbaall matters!) 'The Leazes End Boot Boys' had came doon in force, and their aim that day was tih 'take' 'The Loft', which was the Rangers 'End'.

Wih entered the groond and before lang aall hell broke loose!

"YOUR GONNA GET YOUR F*****' HEADS KICKED IN!", the 'Boot Boys' sang az they charged towards the terrified Q.P.R. fans, boots and fists flyin'!


They found little resistance, and the Toon fans showed their Rangers counterparts plenty of 'Christmas spirit', by chasin' them to the other end of the groond!.


Because there was nee segregation, and very few aall ticket games in them days, it became the 'done thing' tih try and tek the 'Home Ends', and tih do so was a 'feather in the cap' for the 'Boot Boys'.


As far as they were concerned, another 'End' had been taken tih add tih the 'HIT' 'LIST'!, although, tih be fair tih Q.P.R., they neva had a reputation for bein' 'hard cases' and they were considered 'easy meat' for 'The Leazes Enders'!


(There's one thing for certain, we DEFENATELY would'nt be on the Q.P.R. fans, 'Christmas card' 'LIST'!) (For THAT YEAR at least!)


"THE LEAZES END IS HERE!---THE LEAZES END IS HERE!", the Toon fans sang triumphantly, as though wi'd won the war or sommik!?.


It's amazin' tih think nuw, that back in the 'sixties', there was nee attempt at aall tih try and segregate rival fans, and yih could just gan anywhere yih wanted tee in the groonds, by payin' at the turnstiles. (Try deein' that nuw!)


 
'The Loft' was behind one of the goals and had a low pitched roof which covered aboot half the spectators. To wor reet was the main stand, again this had a low roof and was aall seated with the touchline so close to the fence that fans could actually grab the players as they took a throw in!


 
Opposite this was the brand new South Africa Road Stand (nee where near---by the way!) that had been opened at the start of the season to 'commemorate' Rangers forst ever visit to the top flight, with seats at the back and a lower stand underneath, which had a small standin' terrace to the front (now private boxes!)


 
Behind the other goal was an open terrace with maisonettes 'pearin' ower the back. This was aalso the 'end' of the groond that aa 'spotted' Harold Steptoe and his 'orse (now 'remamed' 'The Rag 'n' Bone End'!)


The game at Loftus Road was an uninspirin' affair as Rangers huffed and puffed and ran aroond a lot, but 'The Toon' seemed to contain them fairly comfortably for most of the match. The Magpies relied on the occasional coonter-attack and the best that can be said aboot the game was that it was 'hard and rugged'.




 
The Toon were mid-table and Q.P.R. were 'rock bottom', so predictableee!, we were expected to win easily, aalthough, it was Rangers who had more of the possession in the orly stages. But!---on the other hand, it was Newcastle who created the more scorin' chances owerraall.

 
In fact, we would have won quite easily if it had not been for Ron Springett in the Rangers' goal as he produced some spectacular saves. He anly made one mistake – but it was a costly one!. He should have held on to a Pop Robson corner in the 16th minute but he dropped the baall and eighteen year old Alan Foggon, who played on the
wing that day, reacted quickest, pooncin' to open the scorin' at 'The Rag 'n' Bone End'.

 
'The Cragheed Flier' (where Foggon came from) frequently had the Rangers' defence in trouble with his pace and exuberance although his positionin' left sommik to be desired. Nevertheless, he forced Springett into a top class save late in the forst half as the 'keeper went full length to hold a shot by the Beatles-mopped winger.

 
The heavy pitch was strength sappin' as it was covered in thick sticky clarts and both teams were leg weary as the game approached its closing stages. Unpredictableee!---just when it seemed like we were gannih collect both points, (2 points for a win, then) a fatal lapse in concentration by the defence five minutes from time allowed Rangers to equalise. It seemed more by luck than intention that a clearance upfield by Bobby Keetch landed just in the right place for Barry Bridges to score with the Tyneside defence at sixes and sevens.

 
It seemed as if the final whistle came two or three minutes orly which upset Les Allen, the QPR manager. He felt that they might have got the winner, a view not shared by Jawnil reporter Bob Cass, "I didn't fancy their chances of scoring before Shepherd's Bush became a dense forest", he wrote.
Certainly The Toon were well worth their point – a point that kept them in 12th place in the league.

(Unfortunatly for QPR, they stayed rooted tih the bottom, and come May, they were relegated back tih the old Second Division)


After the match wih headed for the centre of London, where the older Toon fans had gone for a 'gargel'. Not bein' or lookin' old enough tih get in the Bars, wih had tih stay ootside and 'cadge' a 'swig' off them, every nuw and again, when they sneaked the beer oot tih us!.


(Yih could say we were bein' 'weened' and were 'servin' wor apprenticeships'!)


At 'chuckin' oot time', wih headed for Kings Cross tih catch the bus yem, but not before nearly 'keelin ower' with the half dozen or so 'liquids' that wi'd each consumed!.

(Divvint forget!---ah was still a 'spring chicken' aged 14 (and a half!) and the 'apprenticeship weenin process' was still in it's orly stages back then!)



Aa got yem at 'seven a.m. bells' and crashed oot in mee 'pit' for the whole of Sunday with a rather large hangower! And it was just az well that a'd broke up for the school Christmas holidays, az the next day was a 'non starter' iz well!

(It's not easy bein' an 'apprentice'!) ("OH!"------"MEE ACHIN' HEED!")


 
©Fink (the mad-sad grundhpper!)

 

Sunday, 11 September 2016

DARBEE COONTY 0 THE TOON 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 11th September 2016
JUST MOMENTS AFTER THIS CROSS, YEDIN SEALS THE VICTORY!
(TOON IN WOR 'BUMBLE BEE' STRIP!)

"RAM RAIDERS!"

NUFC ground oot a 2-0 victory and the anly highlight of the forst half waz an absolutlee sublime <(we reeely DE na aall the posh words!) effort from 'Gooffy' Gouffran in the 20th minute to put The Toon in front at Pride Park in wot waz a dour game, to say the least! (The anly shot on target we can remember in the forst period!)
Darbee reely are a 'ramshackle mob' <(excuse the pun!) and the fact that they had anly scored ONE solitary goal aall season proved to be their downfall!
1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE FAR END

The 2nd half wasn't much better az we attacked the end in front of 'us' and again, just one shot on goal waz forthcomin' before Yedin sealed the victory in the very last minute of the game with a scrambled effort az the home fans made for the exits like 'droves of sheep' <(sic!)

Before the game we made for some boozers near the train station which had 'welcoming' signs on the windows sayin' 'HOME FANS ONLY'!
But az iz the case with us, we 'sniffed' oot a boozer alang the road caalled 'The Alexandra' which let away fans in!---and so (az yi de!) we stopped there for 'the duration' until it waz time to heed for the game which kicked off at '5:30 bells' (for live telly of course!)
"WILL THEY LET US IN?---YES THEY WILL!"

INSIDE THE ALEXANDRA 


THE 'SCENIC' ROUTE TO THE GROOND
(A 25 MINUTE WAALK FROM 'THE ALEX')




The win takes us up to 'altitude sickness level' in 2nd place with wor FIFTH win on the spin and aall the talk from the sceptics of relegation after wor forst 2 games ended in defeat, iz surely banished forever!

Next up iz a trip to "west Landan" on Tuesday neet when we take on 'The Rag and Bone Men' of Shepherd's Bush' at Loftus Road.
The train will again 'take the strain' az we heed southwards on the East Coast Line yet again!

Toon team: Sels, Anita, Dummett, Colback, Mbemba, Lascelles, Shelvey, Diame (Hayden 88), Richie, Gouffran (Yedin 73), Gayle (Perez 76)

Attendance: 30,405 (3,200 happy Toon fans!)      *  

Thursday, 8 September 2016

DARBEE COONTY v THE TOON **** SATURDAY TEATIME!

Posted '1:41pm bells' Thorsday 8th September 2016

We heed for Pride Park on Saturday evenin', where we take on 'The Ramshakle Mob', now managed by formaa Lestaa manager Nigel Pearson.
Pearson waz credited with buildin' 'that side', which of course went on to win the Leegue last May aftaa he'd left!
However!--- Hiz current side have scored just ONE goal in 5 games so far this season and we will nevaa have a better opportunity to win wor 4th Leegue game in a row.

We sold oot wor 3,200 allocation of tickets 'lang ago' in wot will be wor forst visit here for ower 6 years, when we lost 3-0! <("We want revenge!")

Pride Park <(its original name!) iz a 'Lego clone' of Stoke and 'The Smoggies' new stadiums, (with different coloured seats!) and iz on the trunk road oot of Darbee, with hardly any boozers nearby (just like Stoke and Boro!)

We are on the '11:40am bells' train (me finks?) from 'The Central' and shud arrive in deepest Derbyshire around aboot the '2:30 bells' mark! ('5:30 bells' ko)

A full Geordie Times match report will follow sometime on Sunday az per usual---watch this space!

Tuesday, 6 September 2016

WOLVES TICKETS ANLY A TENNER!

Posted '1:03pm bells' Tuesday 6th September 2016

Tickets for wor EFL Cup tie against Wolverhampton Wanabeez later this month are nuw on sale to season ticket holders!
At just a TENNER for big kids and THREE QUID for sprogs there shud be a bigger than usual crowd than wot we expected!
30,000 plus we reckon because of the price reduction!
(We paid £15 and £5 for the last roond against Cheltenham!)

Sunday, 4 September 2016

BAD BLUE BOYS of DUNSTON 2 SKELMERSDALE UNITED 2 *** FA CUP 1st QUALIFYIN' ROOND

Posted '11:11am bells' Sunday 4th September 2016
MORIEN SCORES FROM THE SPOT TO ORN 'THE BAD BLUE BOYS' A REPLAY!

"WEMBLEY, WEMBLEY HERE WE COME!"

With a blank weekend coz of the Internationals (see article below!) it waz decided to heed for mee fave non leegue club for their FA Cup tie v Skelmersdale near Scouseland!

Heavy rain kept the crowd doon, but the traffic on their way to the Metro Centre, half a mile from the groond waz heavin' <(it's indoors yoo see!)

The clubhoose waz half empty/full! when I arrived but it soon filled up with approx. 15 Skelmersdale fans/officials amongst the throng to shelter from the rain <(THAT, I may add iz the ANLY reason 'I' went into the clubhoose!!!!)

Toon season ticket holder 'Shaz the Postie' then torned up and we had discussions aboot the 12 players we have signed in 'the window' and those who have departed!

The doonpour had eased off az the teams ran oot and for some reason the game kicked off 5 mins late at '3:05 bells'?
THE GAME KICKS OFF (EVENTUALLY!)

It took 'The Bad Blue Boys' barely 2 mins to open the scorin' when 'Scrappy' (Liam Thear) put the baall into the net at 'The Dunston Rocketless End' <(Explanation: there used to be a tower block behind this end which looked like a space rocket!--now demolished!)

Skelmersdale, who are 2 leegues higher than their Tyneside coonterparts equalised soon after with a unstoppable shot from Strickland at 'The Teahut End' <(AYE!---there's a teahut behind the goal!)

And then controversy in 1st half stoppage time when the ref (and linesman on wor side) said the baall had croosed the line (when it clearly hadn't!) to put the visitors 2-1 up!---aall hell then broke loose at the decision az the ref blew for half time! 

A 'mad dash' to the clubhouse then ensued (to beat the queues!) and we looked at some of the photos on the wall az we supped wor half time beverages > (Broon ale!)---Skelmersdale are a famous non leegue club who lifted the old Amateur Cup back in the 70's @ Wembley and one of the photos on the wall shows the 1974 FA Cup final between 'The Toon' and 'The Liverbirds', with Steve Highway beatin' Bobby Moncur to the baall (which he crossed to a certain Kevin Keegan who scored!) Highway aalso played for Skelmersdale!

The visitors went hell for leather in the 2nd period and if it wasn't for Dunston's keeper havin' a blinder the game would have been ower lang before the end.

A penalty waz then awarded to 'The Bad Blue Boys' which waz easily convorted by Malcolm Morien!---A home player waz then sent off az 'we' hung on to claim a replay at their place on Tuesday neet!---The Wembley dream lives on!

PS:  I estimated the crowd to be 250 and the official attendance waz!---249!

"WE WAZ THERE!" 

PROGRAMME!

 
   


CRUMPLED TEAM SHEET!


MATCH TICKET!!! 

Saturday, 3 September 2016

A NEW SEASON OF 'BLANKETY BLANKS'!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Saturday 3rd September 2016
"I'M BACK AGAIN FOLKS!"

A new season and the forst international break after just 4 weeks iz upon us, which meeenz a 'blank weekend' of course az far az NUFC are concerned!

This iz because Ing-er-land, under the management of *The UFO have a World Cup qualifying game against Slovenia on Sunday (or iz it Slovakia?) <(shows how much interest we have in this game!)


*The UFO haz amazingly selected EIGHT of the team who were humiliated against Iceland in the Euros and it surely will end in 'crocodile tears' for him!---me 'finks'

* UFO = Ugly Fat One!

Thursday, 1 September 2016

THE WINDOW SHUTS!

Posted '12:35pm bells' Thorsday 1st September 2016

Transfor deadline day closed at '11 bells' last neet with the news that 'The Sossoko Kid' haz signed for SPORZ for a reported THORTY MILLION!
Just how anybody can think a man who haz gone AWOL for the past 2 seasons iz worth SO much money iz beyond us!
This iz probably the best bit of transfor dealin' we've done in wor entire history!
£30 mill for a player who contributed to wor demise last season!
"WOW!"
Let us remind yoo wot Sissoko said in JOON this year!
"ARSENAL is one of the best teams in Europe!
I hope that I will have a chance soon to play for this club!"

Are yoo readin' this Sporz fans???

Rafa the Gaffa haz certainly pulled off a coup in this deal and just the othaa day he said:
"If someone wants Moussa they have to pay!" 
In total 19 players have left NUFC in the transfor window.

A total of 12 have arrived in that same period, namely:
Matz Sels, Matt Richie, Dwight Gayle, Jesus Gamez, Isaac Hayden, Grant Hanley, Ciaran Clark, Mohamad Diame, Deandre Yedlin, Daryl Murphy, Achraf Laazar and Christian Atsu

Those leavin' us---and 'good riddance' to most of them, are:
Marveaux, Obertan, Taylor, Cabella, Townsend, Coloccini, Cisse, Wijnaldum, Janmaat, Bigiramana and of course Sissoko!
On loan are: Thauvin, Mbabu, De Jong, Saivet, Krul, Armstrong, Sterry and Riviere


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