Wednesday 31 August 2016

TRANSFOR DEADLINE DAY IZ UPON US!!!

Posted '1:15 pm bells' Wednesday 31st August 2016

WINDOW CLOSIN'!

Transfor deadline day iz here and so far we have signed 11 players and got rid of 18
A full list of 'in's and 'oot's will appear here tomorrow!

Tuesday 30 August 2016

WHO'S AFRAID OF THE BIG BAD WOLF!?" ***

Updated '10:15 am bells' 30th August 2016

The EFL Cup draw haz been kind to us once again for we have been drawn at home in the thord roond against Wolverhampton Wanabeez who must now play us TWICE in a few days at 'wor place' az we play them in the leegue az well on the Saturday before!

EFL: Saturday 17th September***'3 bells' 
EFL CUP: Tuesday 20th September***'7:45 bells'

Monday 29 August 2016

THE TOON 2 NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTON 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Updated '11:05am bells' Munday 29th August 2016
SHELVEY FREE KICK GOAL (2nd half)
*Geordie Times excluuusive!

"LET US GO FOURTH!"

A thoroughly entertainin' game waz won 2-0 with 2 brill set piece goals from Jamaal Lascelles and Jonjo Shelvey.
To be honest, before the game aa would have been happy with a point against Chris Hughton's 'high flyers', given the fact that both wor proven strikers Mitrovic and Gayle were oot injured!

But aa needn't have worried az we put on wor best display of the season so far to push us up to the dizzy heights of FOURTH place in the table!
*'Ne Where Near Brighton' had anly lost 1 oot of their last 23 games but a fearless Toon side put them to the sword!
A Matt Richie free kick at The Gallowgate End foond the heed of Lascelles and he nodded past the visitors keeper to put us 1-0 up!
*(We say 'Ne Where Near Brighton' az their new ground ISN'T!)
LASCELLES GOAL (1st half)
*Geordie Times excluuusive!

Gouffran then hit the crossbar with a thorty yard screamer az we went for the 'jugular'!  HT 1-0 to 'us'!
The referee waz absolutleee cr*p and handed oot a stream of yellow cards to NUFC player for trivial offences---If anybody waz gannin to beat us it wasn't Brighton--but HIM!

We attacked The Leazes End in the 2nd half and the killer goal came in the 63rd minute when Shelvey hit an unstoppable free kick from outside the box, which gave their keeper 'ne chance'!

Just before that Brighton had a player sent off for a 2nd bookable offence and with Shelvey's goal the contest waz ower!

More chances went 'a beggin' and we had the settle for a 2-0 win which moves us up into the 'play off positions' in 4th place and of course a 4th win in a row---things are startin' to look UP --in more ways than one!

Toon team: Sels, Anita (Gamez 72), Mbemba, Lascelles, Dummett, Richie, Shelvey, Hayden, Gouffran (Yedlin 88), Diame (Colback 81), Perez 



Attendance: 49,196 (1,800 'Ne where Near Brighton' fans!) (*The Geordie Times predicted a 50,000 crowd!)
*The highest crowd in Ing-er-land on the day!  *

Happy Toon fans stream away from SJP after the match!

Friday 26 August 2016

THE TOON v NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTON *** TOMORROW TEATIME!

Posted '12:15pm bells' Friday 26th August 2016
Lookin' towards SJP from Leazes Park Road

Chris Hughton makes hiz thord retorn to SJP tomorrow in the visitors dugoot since hiz unceremonial dismissal in 2010 and lookin' for hiz forst win (the othaa 2 ended in defeat when he waz manager of Norwich)
*Ne where near Brighton are undefeated in 6 games so far this season so this will be a hard game---make ne misteak aboot that.
(*We say 'Ne Where Near Brighton', coz their new groond ISNT!)

With both Mitrovic and Gayle sidelined because of their injuries against Cheltenham on Tuesday neet wor forward line iz severely depleated.
Wor visitors have taken up an allocation of 2,250 tickets (max 3,200) with tickets still available--we understand

A limited number of tickets are available in the home stands az well  and we predict a crowd of ower 50,000 on this bank holiday weekend!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report and pix will appear here sometime on Sunday!---watch tis space az per usual!

Thursday 25 August 2016

MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS U23s REPORT BELOW

Posted '1:00 pm bells' Thorsday 25th August 2016

At last!   a'v completed the match report from wor U23s game against 'The Jellied Eels Mob' U23s last Munday neet @ Dagenham & Redbridge! (see below!)

321 victoria road dagenham, west ham

Ground number 321
Date of First Visit: 22nd August 2016

Victoria Road (aka: Chigwell Construction Stadium!)
Dagenham, east London

West Ham United U23s  3
Newcastle United U23s  1 (Heardman)

Barclays Premier League 2, Division 2?
Attendance: 500 (estimated) (3 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers plus quite a few exiles!)

"WE MUST BE BARKING MAD!"

Aa didn't find oot til before wor home game against Readin' the previous Wednesday that this game waz bein' played at Dagenham & Redbridge's groond---a former leegue groond a'v never been te!

Aa aalready had the Friday off coz aa waz gannin to Bristol on an orly train on Saturday mornin' (aa work nights so aa HAD to have the Friday off)--plus the followin' Tuesday for wor home game v Cheltenham!---SO! (az yi de!) aa asked for the Munday off az well to gan to this game! (3 days hols lost in one go!)

Aa travelled doon on the 'high noon bells' train to King's Cross where NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' 'Alex of St George' (Middleton St George) and 'Dave from York' joined me at Darlo and York respectively!

On arrival in 'the smoke' we made for Barking on the tube (which iz near Dagenham) where Alex knew of some boozers and some 30 mins later we arrived there!
There were 2 boozers ootside the tube station which were caalled 'The Barking Dog' and 'The Spotted Dog' <(What else would yoo caall pubs in 'Barking'?)
DAVE'S IN THE DOG HOOSE! (or at least he will be when their lass finds
oot where he went when he left their hoose in York this mornin' to buy a paper!)

It waz then onward to East Dagenham tube station where some more 'liquid lubrications' were downed in 'The Pipe Major'!
The Dagenham clubhoose waz wor last 'port o call' before the match where 2 Toon fans were drinkin'--'Paul W' who iz workin' doon London and 'Cockney Greg' who waz a larger than life figure--shall we say!

Mee two travellin' companians Dave and Alex insisted on buyin' aall my beers az they have free train travel az ex British Rail employees, whereas 'little ol' me' had to pay nearly £71 to de this trip! ----That's what fiends are for! ("ER!"---for 'fiends' read 'FRIENDS'!) Cheers lads!
Claret and blue skies in east Landan! 

This waz of course wor forst visit to West Ham's new home---(and we don't meen The Olympic Stadium) for this iz where their U23s will play this season, although some 30 or so 'Daggers' fans ootside the directors entrance wornt happy with their chairman for some reason and were shoutin' for hiz heed!

The game kicked off in glorious sunshine and we attacked 'The Traditional Builders Stand' (honest!---see pic below!)

We didn't start off well and 'The Jellied Eels Mob' went for goal straight away and it wasn't lang before they took the lead with a very dodgy lookin' penalty in the 20th minute!

Samuelson went doon like a 'sack of taaties' in the box after Sakta tackled him and hiz 'dive' would have won the gold medal in the Olympic games in Rio! <(pity for him the 'games' had just finished!) The resultin' penalty put us on the back foot and despite havin' Adam Armstrong in attack we couldn't get anywhere near the home goal!
'The Jellied Eels Mob' doubled their lead just before the break and really, even by this time, we looked a beaten side!
The Toon attack The Jellied Eels Mob's goal (just before the end)

A thord goal in the 70th minute put 'The Dagger' through wor heart (excuse the pun!) and it waz now a case of damage limitation.
Tom Heardman, who had come on az a sub pulled one back for us with a low drive in the 82nd minute, but waz a case of 'too little too late' to retrieve the game.

We had little ower an hour to get back to King's Cross to catch the last train at '10 bells' and an anxious 3 tube changes later we (thankfully!) made it with minutes to spare!

A torturous fower hour train ride waz then endued (because of 'line work'!) and az 'Dave from York' got off--"er!"--at YORK (where else?) aa had visions of hiz lass Lesley waitin' for him when he got yem <(withoot the paper of course!)>>>

'Alex of St George' departed at Darlo station and at '2am bells' the train finally pulled into 'The Central'

"Anothaa one off the list!"   
"WE WAZ THERE!"


Geordie Times milestone/millstone!:
This waz mee 130th club groond a'v visited to watch NUFC, which haz hosted
leegue futbaall  at one time or anothaa (150 if yoo include the Scottish leegue)

CORRECTION! A'v missed 2 leegue groonds oot for Darlo and
1 for Gretna in Scotland***that's 132 plus 21 = 153 British leegue groonds 

Wednesday 24 August 2016

THE TOON 2 CHELTENHAM TOON 0 *** EFL CUP 2nd ROOND 2016-2017

Posted '11:42am bells' Wednesday 24th August 2016

"BANDAGE-MAN ONE' TO THE RESCUE!"
THE TOON attack the far Leazes goal!
(View from Gallowgate End middle tier)

In wot torned oot to be a dire game of futbaall we finally came through this tie with both wor goals bein' scored by a man with a bandage on hiz heed named Perez who had suffered a heed injury! <(believe it or not!?)

In aall THREE! players ended up with bandages on their heeds--the othaa two bein' Dwight Gayle for 'us' and a Cheltenham player when their heeds clashed in The Gallowgate End penalty box!

After hardly a shot on goal az we attacked The Leazes End in the forst half, we finally made the breakthrough in stoppage time when Perez hit a curlin' shot into the back of the net just after he'd had hiz heed bandaged! <(makes a change to score a goal in stoppage time than concede one!)
One worry waz that returnin' striker Mitrovic went off in the 37th minute after sustainin' wot looked like a ankle injury!)
2nd half action az The Toon attack the Gallowgate goal!

The 2nd goal came just after the restart when again, Perez came to the rescue!---A bad back pass from a Cheltenham defender fell straight to Dwight Gayle's feet and he (unselfishly!) gave the baall to Perez, who tapped it into the empty net to secure the victory!
Gayle then had HIS clash of heeds and bandage and it waz gettin' a bit confusin' az to who waz who?
Jamie celebrates "Bandage-man ONE's" 2nd goal!

Gayle waz then 'christened' "Bandage -man TWO!" by mee grandson Jamie (Perez waz "Bandage-man ONE!"--by the way!)
(Gayle ,who had substituted Mitrovic waz himself them substituted by Anita in the 58th minute az a precaution)

We controlled the game after this with several good chances gone 'a-beggin' with Shelvey in particular fluffin' a great chance!

Final score: Bandage-man ONE  2  Cheltenham Toon  0!

Toon team: Darlow, Sterry, Lascelles, Hanley, Gamez, Aarons (Gouffran 23), Shelvey, Colback, Perez, Diame, Mitrovic <(Gayle37) <(Anita 58)

Attendance: 21,972 (442 Cheltenham fans in The Leazes/East Stand corner )   The Geordie Times predicted a 25,000 crowd!*

Jamie celebrates wor victory in The Newcastle Arms beer bar
after the match with a 'coke beer' in a taall glass!

Tuesday 23 August 2016

THE TOON v CHELTENHAM TOON **** EFL CUP 2nd ROOND**** TOONEET!

Posted '1:55pm bells' Tueaday 23rd August 2016
SJP FROM CHINATOON

We face a club called 'The Robins' for the 2nd time in fower days (aalso Bristol City's nickname) and this will be their forst ever visit to SJP.
The anly othaa time we have played them waz away in the FA Cup in 2005 when we won 2-0 with goals from Michael Chopra and Scott Parker (see archive grounds list in right hand column ---ground 255)  

It's a glorious day here on Tyneside az aa look oot mee window across the sacred Tyne River and with the kids still bein' off school and anly a fiver for them to get in, we expect loads of them to be in attendance tooneet (inc. mee 6 year old grandson Jamie!)

Therefore 'The Geordie Times' predicts a crowd of aroond aboot 25,000 for this Leegue Cup tie!

Aleksander Mitrovic iz now free to play and we fully expect him to play some part in the game followin' suspension and we expect Karl Darlow to be in goal with Matz Sels rested!

A full match report will appear here sometime tomorrow!

PS: 'The Geordie Times' waz at Dagenham and Redbridge last neet to watch wor U23s play West Ham's equivalent and a full match and drinkin' den report will appear here later this week when aa get time to de it! (we lost 3-1---Heardman waz wor goalscorer)

Monday 22 August 2016

097 (revisited) ashton gate, bristol

Ground number 097 (revisited)
Date of this visit: 20th August 2016

Bristol City 0
Newcastle United 1 (Gayle)

EFL
Attendance 22, 512 (2,500 Toon fans)

"LET THE TRAINS PUDDLE YOUR BRAINS!"
"WE MAY AZ WELL HAVE GOT ONE OF THEEEZE!
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH QUICKER AND RELIABLE!"

If anything could gan wrang on a train jorney, then it certainly did on this trip.
Things were tight anyway az we had to change trains at Bormingham and anly had a few mins to spare between connections.
The forst sign of trouble waz just after Darlo station when a muffled announcement ower the train tannoy said sommik aboot changin' trains at Derby? (surely they didn't meen us!?)
Then forthaa doon the line it waz conformed that there waz a fault on the train and we would have to get on anothaa one at Derby to get to Bormingham!

Like aa say times were 'tight' and to add to wor problems we were telt that the 6 carriage train we were on---(which waz packed to the rafters!)--- would change to a 4 carriage train when we got there!

Pandemonium loomed!---We made sure that we were near the exit when the train pulled into Derby station and after a mad scramble to get off and get a seat on the next train a lad telt us that the reason we had to change trains waz because the one we were on had a HEEDLIGHT OOT! <(Wot---we had to change trains for THAT!)

Anyway!--we got a seat and az yi'd expect there were people standin' in the alleyways az there wornt enough seats (6 into 4 doesn't gan!)

WE arrived at New Street (Bormingham) on platform 11 and unbelievably we had to gan through the ticket barrier and back in again in anothaa part of the station to get to platform 1, which waz the Bristol train!---We made it---JUST!---mainly because THAT train waz runnin' late!
3 train joneys later and we arrived in Bristol at '11:15 bells' and made for a Wetherspoons boozer around the corner!---The anly problem waz that everybody else had the same idea and they were 6 deep at the bar tryin' to get sorved!!!!

However!---we knew of anothaa boozer in a little side street oot the way called 'The Barley Mow' and thankfully it waz virtually empty and easy to get sorved!---and DID we need a caad pint to quench wor thorsts!!!

We stopped there til it waz time to gan to the match and az the ground waz ower 3 miles away, 2 taxis were ordered to get us there!

Aa forst went to Ashton Gate in 26 years ago and the groond haz changed a bit since then ---A brand new main stand and a refurbished stand opposite and the end we were in waz now covered (which wasn't in 1990 az it waz an open standin' terrace back then)

The game I'm afraid wasn't much better than wor train jorney doon but we did have ONE moment of brilliance when Dwight Gayle latched onto a superb through baall from Diame and lashed it into the net at the end where we were housed and the roof nearly lifted off az we celebrated the goal!
To be honest I'm a bit worried aboot Sels in goal az he cant seem to deal with crosses and better teams than 'The Big Bristols' <(They are bigger than Bristol Rovers---arnt they!) will surely take advantage!
That waz it I'm afraid az the rest of the game waz a bore with both teams seemingly unable to put more than 2 passes together--but we held oot for the 3 points and looked forward to the train jorney yem <(NOT!) which involved anothaa 3 trains to get back!

The forst,from Bristol to Manchester (we couldn't get a direct train back eethaa!) waz terminated at Bormingham az they didn't have enough train crew to take us to Mancland!  We were told that we could catch a train to Derby, then to Leeds, then to York and finally yem! (That's FIVE trains back!)   We protested to the ticket inspector and we were then told that they would hold a train back at Bormingham which would take directly to York---which we did
However!---we had to wait at York for ower an hour for wor train which waz due at just before 'midneet bells' and 'The York Tap' boozer waz an unexpected 'port o caall'!

Aa finally arrived back yem at 1':30 am bells', some 6 and a half hours after leavin' Bristol!--and 6 trains after leavin' The Toon!
Aaall in the line of duty of course!

Toon team: Sels, Anita, Clark, Colback, Mbemba, Lascelles, Hayden (Shelvey 87), Richie, Gayle (Aarons 88), Diame (Perez 63), Gouffran

Attendance: 22, 512 (2,500 Toon fans) This waz The Big Bristols biggest gate for 26 years! 

* more pix to follow!

PS: "NEW GROOND!---NEW GROOND!"  Off to Dagenham in east Landon in an hours time to watch wor U23s play West Ham U23s tooneet !---by TRAIN!---(will I never lorn!)  

Sunday 21 August 2016

THE BIG BRISTOLS 0 THE TOON 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'just before high noon bells' Sunday 21st August 2016
"WE MAY AZ WELL HAVE GOT ONE OF THESE TO BRISTOL AND BACK!---
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH QUICKER AND RELIABLE!

"LET THE TRAINS PUDDLE YOUR BRAINS!"

Taalk aboot train jorneys from hell and we had them BOTH ways to Bristol and back yesterday!!!

Because of this aa havvent had time to put a match report together yet, az aa didn't get back til the orly hours of this mornin', despite leavin' Bristol at '7 bells' last neet!
Just got oot mee 'scratcher' after a few hours kip ("ZZZZzzzz!!!!")and the boozers are open soon--SO yoo'll have to wait for 'The Geordie Times'z match report sometime later tooneet!!!

Remember wor motto: "We'll bring yoo aall the news forst hand, second!" (or iz it second hand, forst???)
WATCH THIS SPACE TOONEET FOR THE TRAIN JORNEYS FROM HELL!

Friday 19 August 2016

THE BIG BRISTOLS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '8:35pm bells' Friday 19th August 2016
"Match and train tickets @ the ready!!!"

Tomorrow afternooon we face *'The Big Bristols' @ Ashton Gate in a non televised EFL game <(*whey! they are a bigger club than Bristol Rovers---arnt they!?)

The home side expect a crowd of 21,000 plus---which will be the biggest crowd they will have had this CENTURY!---such iz the status of NUFC!

We are on the '6:23 am bells' train in the mornin' from 'The Central' and expectations are high followin' wor 4-1 excellent win ower 'The Biscuitmen of Readin' on Wednesday neet!

The 2,500 tickets we were allocated in The Atyeo Stand were selt oot lang ago and we will (ne doubt!) be 'in full voice' az the game commences <(we naa aall the big words!---and how to spelll them!)

Indeed!!! ---after a very bad start we are anly FOWER points adrift of top spot and NE TEAMS now have a 100% record after just 3 games played!

There will of course be a full match report in 'The Geordie Times' when we (eventually!) get back in the orly hours of Sunday mornin'!!!!
"Iz this Bristol City's biggest fan???"

Thursday 18 August 2016

THE TOON 4 THE BISCUITMEN OF READIN' 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 18th August 2016
HAYDEN GOAL 1-0! *** GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!!!

"A PIECE OF CAKE FOR 'THE TOON' AZ 'THE BISCUITMEN' CRUMBLE!" (sic!)

At last!--a performance to de us justice az we won in a canter in the end--but!---we made hard work of it for a canny while!

The sequence of events were az follows:

2nd minute: Dwight Gayle put the baall into the net at The Leazes End and the ref signals a goal!---anly for the Readin' team to protest loudly, claimin' that Gayle had handled the baall---after consultin' hiz linesman on the far side the goal waz disallowed and Gayle waz booked for handlin'!

20th minute: A 'propaa' goal!---A free kick by by Richie waz blocked but fell nicely to Hayden and he fired a low shot past Al Habsi in the visitors goal!---ne protest this time!---1-0 to 'us'!

45th minute: A daft penalty given away by Ciaran Clark bang on half time gave Readin' the chance to equalise----and they did through McCleary!---the thord time in 3 games we have conceded just before half time!---1-1!

50th minute: We get wor own penalty when Gouffran iz fouled in the box and Richie slammed home @ The Gallowgate End! --2-1 to 'us'!

69th minute: After sustained pressure and a number of corners for 'The Biscuitmen' we finally put the game to rest when Gayle hit an unstoppable free kick into the corner of the net--az the crowd cheered in relief! -- 3-1 to 'us'!


Grandson and new season ticket holder Jamie celebrates Gayle's goal!
89th minute: Hayden sends a cross into the box and Dwight Gayle haz the simple task of pokin' the baall into the back of the goal az 'The Biscuitmen' finally crumbled!---4-1 to 'us'!---final score!
GAYLE GOAL 4-1! *** GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUUSIVE!!!

 

The scoreline sends us up to the 'dizzy heights' of 17th place in the table with 43 games to gan!---a much better performance than the last 2---we are on 'the up' at last!

Toon team: Sels, Anita, Mbemba, Clark, Dummett, Richie (Aarons 90) , Hayden, Shelvey, Gouffran (Colback 83), Perez (Lascelles 75), Gayle  

Attendance: 48, 209 (550 Readin' fans) *

Wednesday 17 August 2016

THE TOON v THE BISCUITMEN of READIN' *** TOOONEEET!

Posted '2:05pm bells' Wednesday 17th August 2016
Artwork by 'Shelly the barmaid!'

"THORD TIME LUCKY"???

We gan into wor thord game of the new season lookin' for wor forst win to climb oot of 'the abyss' and we can anly hope that the players are listenin' to 'Rafa the Gaffa' and put in a performance worthy of wor support!?

'The Biscuitmen' (there's a large biscuit factory there!) will anly have 550 or so in the crowd toneet, which meenz extra tickets are available to wor fans in Level 7 of 'The Leazes'!

We hear that 47,000 tickets have been sold and so by kick off time this shud rise to at least 48,000!

A win iz vital if we are not to be cast adrift in the race back to 'the BIG time'!

WE are heedin' for the 'Toon Arms' before the game (Newcastle Arms!) where it haz been open since '10 bells' this mornin' to quench wor thirsts! (see top photo!)

A full match report and pix to follow tomorrow sometime---az per usual!

Sunday 14 August 2016

THE TOON 1 'UDDERSFIELD TOON 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 14th August 2016
THE TOON PLAYERS IN A HUDDLE JUST BEFORE THE KICK OFF!
(It didn't de us much good though!)

"TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED!"

Wor 2nd game of the season and 2nd defeat against a very average 'uddersfield side who we shud have beaten comfortably.
52,000 plus were here to witness this horror show (includin' mee grandson Jamie aged 6, who iz now a fully fledged season ticket holder!) <(it's aall my fault of course!!!) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Quite simply in the forst half we were terrible, givin' the baall away and losin' possession  on many occasions and the killer blow came in stoppage time of the half when wor visitors stabbed the baall into the net at The Gallowgate End!
A TOON FAN HOLDS HIZ HEED IN HIZ HANDS AZ WE MISS
A GREAT CHANCE AT THE LEAZES END (1st half)

The 2nd half waz a bit better az we attacked the 'uddersfield goal and finally we made a breakthrough when on the hour mark a hand-baall in the box gave us a penalty which Dwight Gayle hit straight at their keeper, but luckily for him it rebounded straight to hiz bonce and he heeded into the net to lift the roof off the stadium---more in relief than hope!

We would surely gan on to win now?---but NO!---a through baall to an unmarked Jack Payne who ran towards the Leazes End goal sealed it for wor visitors in the 82nd minute az the 3,200 Yorkshiremen in level 7 of that end went wild with delight az we looked on in despair!

A sceptic alang from me shouted that LEEGUE 1 waz now beckonin'!!!!---WOT!!! after just TWO games????---Ye of little faith!!!!
"We weren't expecting this kind of performance!", Rafa said after the match---tooo true mate!

Of course we MUST improve on this showin' and wor home game against 'The Biscuitmen of Readin' on Wednesday now takes on more significance az the pressure cooker starts to build!

Toon team: Sels, Janmaat (Armstrong 82), Mbemba, Lascelles, Dummett, Anita, Hayden, Shelvey, Aarons (Richie 46), Diame (Perez 75), Gayle 

Attendance: 52,079 (3,200 'uddersfield fans)
The 2nd highest crowd of the day in the old UK!  *


JAMIE ENJOYS A PINT OF 'COKE BEER' IN 'THE BODEGA BEER BAR'
 BEFORE THE MATCH!

Friday 12 August 2016

THE TOON v 'UDDERSFIELD TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:15pm bells' Friday 12th August 2016



Wor forst home game of the EFL season teks place tomorrow when a crowd of 52,000 plus will be inside SJP to watch us against 'uddersfield!
Wor visitors (not suprizinglee!) have sold their entire 3,200 allocation for level 7 of The Leazes End!---This I 'fink' will be the norm for most visitin' support this season az we are the biggest attraction in the division bar non!

With the forst Gallowgate End 'flag day', which starts half an hour before kick off, it shud be quite an occasion --especially for mee 6 year old grandson Jamie who now haz a season ticket in The Milburn Stand!

Hopefully we will play better than we did at Ful'im and the ref can see properly?, unlike at Craven Cottage last Friday neet! (scroll doon to see match report below!)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday---sometime!---again!---watch this space!  

Thursday 11 August 2016

"SOMEONE UP THERE DOES LIKE US!"

Posted '12:27pm bells' Thorsday 11th August 2016

The telly fixtures for October and November have been released and anly ONE NUFC game haz been picked!---The away game at Leeds which now kicks off at '1:15 bells' on Sunday 20th November.
We anly have ONE midweek game in that time (barin' EFL Cup) v Barnsley on a Tuesday neet in October!---which iz good news for the likes of 'little ol' me' who works Munday to Friday (ie: just ONE day's holiday needed!)

Aalso the draw in the EFL Cup last neet gives us a home tie v Cheltenham at the end of this month---much (much!) better than an away tie at Gillingham or Exeter!!!

Sunday 7 August 2016

FUL'IM 1 THE TOON 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '10:25 am bells' Sunday 7th August 2016
Black clouds descend ower the main stand on a black day for NUFC! 

SO DISAPPOINTIN'!

Any thoughts that NUFC cud gan through an entire season unbeaten were brought to a shudderin' halt in west London on Friday neet after just one game!---thanks mainly to the referee who failed to spot TWO 'hand baalls' by Ful'im in the penalty area!---One in each half!
7,000 Toon fans had made the trip to Craven Cottage and packed The Putney End and were in great voice az the match started!
Happy Toon fans at the start of the match (we wornt so happy at the end!)
The cottage which gives the groond it's name iz in the corner!

We dominated the game in the orly periods az we attacked The Hammersmith End at the far end from us, but couldn't make the breakthrough and had NE shots on target in the forst half (if mee mind serves me correctly!?) 
A penalty appeal for a blatant hand baall in the 35th minute, when a Matt Richie shot waz handled by Ful'im's Ryan Tunnacliffe inside the box, waz waved away by Hopper the ref, az the 7,000 Toon fans, the players and Rafa protested loudly!
Thiz blunder by Hooper would prove decisive az bang on half time the home side scored from a set piece when Matt Smith heeded in unmarked at the far post, givin' Sels in The Toon goal ne chance!
The Toon (in black) attack the far Hammersmith End

We simply didn't get oot of the blocks in the 2nd half and anly had 2 shots on target!---we were SO disappointin'! 
Anothaa blatant hand baall in the last minute of game when again, a Matt Richie shot waz blocked twice by Kalas this time, (with both arms!), but again the 'blind ref' Hooper gave us nowt and we lost for the SIXTH time in a row at 'The Cottage'!

Like aa say we didn't play well but the ref won the game for the Londoners with hiz inexplicable decisions!
It's certainly IZ gannih be a lang hard season!

Toon team which included 5 competitive *debutants: *Sels, Janmaat, *Hanley, Lascelles, Dummett, *Richie, *Hayden (Shelvey 77), Colback (Aarons 60), Anita, Perez (Armstrong 70), *Gayle

Attendance: 23, 922 (7,000 Toon fans in good voice at the start but quiet at the end!) *







The pre and post match gargels took place here!   
Ful'im Broadway


Named and shamed!---wouldn't let away fans in!



Shud be renamed 'The DEAR Bar'!


£5.40 a pint in the above boozer!
The MOST expensive pint av ever bought in the UK!










An estate agents on the Ful'im Road (NOT includin' fees!)
  
















 

  

Wednesday 3 August 2016

FUL'IM v THE TOON **** FRIDAY NEET ON THE THAMES!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 3rd August 2016

The new season iz aalmost upon us az we travel to 'The Smoke' for wor forst game in The EPL (English Premier Leegue) against Ful'im @ Craven Cottage in 2 days time!

Aall 2,750 away tickets were snapped up lang ago, but the adjacent 'Neutral Section' of 'The Putney End' where we are housed, iz completleee sold oot az well, meenin' that up to 7,000 Toon fans will be cheerin' us on from behind that goal!

Expectations are very high, but it won't be an easy ride az 'WE' are the team that everybody will want to beat!---NUFC have lost on wor previous 5 visits doon here on the banks of The Thames River, so a win iz lang overdue!

We travel doon on Friday dinnaatime and will arrive at King's Cross sometime after '4 bells'

We have SIX new signings who will make their debuts for us, so this iz the dawnin' of a new era under 'Rafa the Gaffa'!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday----so, az per usual folks---watch this space!

Updated Thorsday:
Since aa wrote the above 'piece' we have signed 2 more players!
Ciaren Clark from The Hazbeenz and Villians and Mohamed Diame from Hull--both for reported fees of £5 million quid!
This brings the total number of new players signed so far to EIGHT!----The Rafa Revolution IZ in full swing!


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