Monday, 16 May 2016

THE TOON 5 (FIVE!) SPORZ 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted '10:40am bells' Munday 16th May 2016
VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY

"IT COULD ANLY HAPPEN TO US!"

Havin' anly lost just ONE home game aall year and havin' gone FIVE games unbeaten, we took on a Sporz side in 2nd position and lookin' to finish above arch rivals Arsenal!
A breathtakin' 5-1 win in front of 52,000 plus with anly 10 men waz the outcome---in WOR favour, but we still find worsels in 'The Championship' next season----It could anly happen to NUFC!

The atmosphere waz truly amazin' considerin' that we were aalready relegated with Rafa's name continually shouted by the fans from forst whistle to last!---It could anly happen here!

Sporz must have thought that we would throw the 'towel in' considerin' wor demise, but they were in for a shock az we put in wor BEST performance of the season to bow oot of 'The Premyaa Leegue'!

19th minute: Wijnaldum fires in at The Leazes End from a Sissoko pass to put us 1-0 up!

39th minute: It's 2-0 az Mitrovic puts an unstoppable heeder past Lloris in the visitors goal after a pinpoint through baall from Toonsend foond hiz heed! (this goal waz scored az a plane with a pathetic message from The SMBs on the side, flew ower the groond!) <(THAT'S why they are called The SMBs!)

60th minute: Lamela pull a goal back for Sporz with a shot that somehow squeezed past Darlow in The Toon goal!
THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END AZ THE SHADOW CREEPS OWER THE PITCH!

67th minute: Mitrovic iz sent off for a 'studs up' challenge on Walker and we are doon to 10 men!

73rd minute: You would have thought that the team in 2nd top place would take advantage of the extra man ower the team 3rd bottom---but exactly the opposite happened when we were awarded a penalty at The Gallowgate End when Sissoko fell like a stone in the box to give us a dubious penalty!---Wijnaldum made ne mistteak from 12 yards oot and we were 3-1 up!

85th minute: It's 4-1!---az Toonsend hits the post and the baall rebounds oot and eventually finds Aarons on the far side of the 18 yard box---he fired a shot past Lloris into the far corner!
GAME OWER!  The crowd sing , "RAFA  BENITEZ!---WE WANT YOU TO STAY!" az he looked on dumbfounded from the dugout!

87th minute: Janmaat completes the rout with an easy chance to put the 10 men 5-1 up!-----The crowd chant, "5-1 to The Championship!"---"We've anly got 10 men!", in 'gallows humour style' az the Sporz end quickly empties!

'The Arse' beat 'The Hazbeenz and Villians' 4-0 to compound Sporz's misery and finished above them----and az the final whistle blew the crowd applauded and chanted Rafa's name---you would have thought that we had WON the leegue and NOT been demoted!
"IT COULD ANLY ****** ****!"

Toon team: Darlow, Janmaat, Taylor, Mbemba, Dummett, Tiote (Shelvey 62), Colback, Wijnaldum (Aarons 76), Sissoko (Sterry 84), Toonsend, Mitrovic

Attendance: 52,183 (Unbeleeevable under the circumstances!)
(3,100 shell shocked Sporz fans!)



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