Saturday, 31 December 2016

THE TOON 3 THE FRIAR TUCK MOB 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '1:33pm bells' New Years Eve 2016
NUFC GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUUSIVE!
MATT RICHIE'S FREE KICK GOAL!
(View from row 2 Milburn Stand balcony)

"REVENGE IZ SWEET!---THE FOG IZ A TREAT"
AMEX STADIUM--NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTON!

Whereaz Boxin' Day torned oot to be 'disaster day' with wor defeat, Brighton's win to gan above us---and aall the othaa teams gainin' points on us, yesterday waz a complete reversal az we beat 10 men Forest at SJP!

The 'garglin' session started in 'The Bodega' on Westgate Road where we were informed off 'Sky Sports' that Brighton's game v Cardiff had been caalled off due to thick fog on the south coast!---Thiz of course meant that if we beat 'The Friar Tuck Mob' we would gan back to the top of the tree for the new year---and there would be nothin' that Chris Hughton's side could de aboot it! (the Brighton manager)

We started off attackin' The Leazes goal and within 3 minutes we were in front when Matt Richie hit a 25 yard free kick which deflected off the Forest waall and into the net to send the crowd wild! (see Geordie Times top pic!)

However!---we didn't take advantage and let 'The Friar Tuck Mob' back in when a defensive error let in Dumitru to level things on the half hour mark, az aa sat with 'mee heed in mee hands' fearin' the worst --again! (HT 1-1)

The tornin' point of the game came on the hour mark when a double bookin' for Forest captain Mills meant that they were doon to 10 men and revenge for wor double sendings off at their place at the beginnin' on the month! (to see match report from that game, scroll doon page!)
2nd HALF ACTION AT THE GALLOWGATE END

2 minutes later and we were back in front when super striker Dwight Gayle hit a baall into the net from a very tight angle at 'The Gallowgate End'!---JUSTICE!

And then the killer blow when Gayle again scored --with hiz chest this time!----to claim hiz 19th goal in 19 starts this season!

At the end of the game somemore good news!---we hord that 3rd placed Reading's game had been abandoned at half time due to the foggy south, meanin' that we stayed 9 points clear of them---and of course leapfrogged Brighton to retain the top spot!---

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie (Lazaar 83), Hayden, Colback (Diame67), Atsu, Perez, Gayle (Mitrovic 88)

Attendance: 52,228 (again, the highest of the season by 49 from Boxin' Day!) 2,300 Forest---they couldn't sell their full allocation of 3,200 and had the norve to chant "Sing in the library!"
Some of the Forest fans who bothered to torn up!--
Spotted here in Leazes Park before the game!
From left to right: Maid Marion, Robin Hood and Friar Tuck!

*PS: Update: 2:25pm bells----some more great news---- 'uddersfield could anly draa with 'The Venky Chicken Rovers' and the gap between 'us and 3rd iz still 9 points! 

Tuesday, 27 December 2016

THE TOON 0 THE WEDNESDAYITES 1 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '3:11pm bells' Tuesday 27th December 2016

"OH NO!---MORE TURKEY!?"

Like millions of others aa had turkey at home on Xmas day for mee din dins and the last thing I expected in this Boxin' Day encoontaa with The Owls of Sheffield waz anothaa 'turkey', but that's exactly wot we got in the the shape of 'a man in black' in the centre of the pitch caalled  Paul Tierney who made wrong decision after wrong decision by NOT sendin' off Wednesday players for hatchet jobs---bookin' them instead--- and missin' major 'calls'.

Of course we didn't help worsels  eethaa by puttin' in anothaa Boxin' Day horror show (wor 9th defeat in the last 12 on this day!) az wor visitors took advantage of poor play by us az we froze in the stands!

They went for us from 'the off' az they attacked The Leazes End where their 3,100 fans were housed high up in 'level 7'

Dwight Gayle had hit the bar orly on at the other end and Cieran Clark missed with 2 heeders.
Karl Darlow waz kept bust in wor goal with some fine saves and to be honest we were happy to gan into the half time interval still on level torms!

Ootstandin' saves from Darlow kept us in it in the orly part of the 2nd period but the inevitable happened, when, after anothaa brilliant save from 'the man in green', Wednesday scored with a scrambled heeder from Loovens at The Gallowgate End!

To waste time their players then procceded to 'con the turkey' by feignin' injury to make him stop the game when we were in 'full flow'!
Wasted free kicks (by Gayle) and corners (by Richie) didn't help eethaa and the clock waz run doon, with 6 minutes added due to the visitors 'antics'!---The extra time did us ne good though and we suffered wor FOURTH home defeat of the season in front of wor biggest crowd so far (34 higher than wor game v Bormingham)

Roll on Friday neet when we take on 'The Tricky Trees' of Nottingham----lets hope we've seen the last of the turkeeez!!!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Hayden, Colback (Mitrovic 80), Gouffran (Perez 62), Diame (Atsu68), Gayle

Attendance: 52, 179 (3,100 Wednesdayites)
Highest crowd outside the top flight this season

"WHO'S THE B*STARD IN TH BLACK?"
*
 
       

Sunday, 25 December 2016

Saturday, 24 December 2016

323 roundwood pavilion rotherham u23s


Ground number 323

Date of first visit: 20thDecember 2016

Roundwood Pavilion, Parkgate, Rotherham

 

Rotherham United U23s  2

Newcastle United U23s  2 (Smith, Roberts)

 

Central League Cup, group stage

Attendance: 250 (estimated) 6 NUFC saddos  (plus 7 or 8 watchin’ ower a back garden fence despite the fact that it waz FREE admission! < Wot plonkers!)

 

“FREYA’S NATIVITY PLAY—OR!---FREEZE AZ NEWCASTLE PLAY !”

 
FREYA IZ THE 3rd COW ON THE RIGHT!

A week before this game wor lass telt me that it waz 3 year old granddaughter Freya’s nativity play at nursery school, which started exactly the same time and day az this game at 1:00 bells in the afternoon! (Mee other grandson Zac’s nativity play waz at 3 on the same day az well!)


It waz a hard choice but mee head ruled mee heart and I chose to freeze to death in deepest Yorkshire despite catchin’ a heavy cold the day before the game!
(Wor lass said that she would video both of them on hor mobile and show me when I got back!)

My logic? waz that I would probably never get the chance to gan to Roundwood Pavilion again, but I could aalways make a special effort next year to see both of their nativity plays!

 

‘Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer’ picked me up in hiz ‘jam jar’ and ‘off we set’ to sooth Yorkshire with a ‘hand written note’ of how to get there! (Wot’s a sat-nav, like?)

It waz a bit of a complicated place to get te az there were right hand turns at pubs, left hand turns at pubs and then left at a canal, etc!---Somehow we managed to find the groond withoot askin’ anybody and parked up in between a golf course and the futbaall groond! (there were signposts for the golf course but NOT the groond?)

Az we parked up some youthful Rotherham players in club tracksuits ambled doon the car park, jumped into cars and drove away?---az there waz ne sign of the NUFC team bus (just an hour before kick off) we started to wonder if we’d come to the reet place?---OR!—if they’d switched the game to Rotherham’s main groond instead?  (A groond we’d visited just 2 months previously!)

 


Panic attack!---we waalked up the car park where a sign conformed that this waz indeed Rotherham’s trainin’ groond!  Roundwood Pavilion waz at the top of the rise and we nervously asked a club official if indeed the game waz takin’ place here! “YES!” he said, much to wor relief----And then the next very important question---“Iz the clubhouse open?”--- again an affirmative answer waz given az the team bus finally torned up!----- so! (az yi de!) in we went for some much needed liquid lubrication!




The clubhoose soon filled up---NOT with futbaall fans I may add, but with golfers from the course next door!

One fan (futbaall I fink?) asked if Rafa Benitez waz here! “ I wouldn’t have thought so az nebody in this team haz a hope in hell of breakin’ into the forst team at the mo!” I told him---addin’ that “Peter Beardsley waz here though!”---(he didn’t look impressed!)

 

It waz soon time to heed for the terraces of the Parkgate FC groond where the match waz takin’ place---apparently Rotherham rent the groond from them for 2nd team and junior games!

The usual predicable saddos were there includin’ Dave from York, Alex of St George, Glennn from Ashington and Biffa the Beer <(this isn’t a spellin’ missteak az he likes a pint or 10!)

 

The game kicked off in freezin’ conditions and suprizingly there waz a much bigger ‘crowd’ than wot I expected (250 to the 100 expected!)
1st HALF ACTION (SPOT BEARDO?)

Just like the conditions we ‘froze’ from the ‘off’ and it didn’t look good---However we DID take the lead in the 14th minute when Liam Smith fired home after a pass from Liam Gibson

However!---it took the home side just 3 minutes to level things and the scores were level at half time

SPOT THE PRIVIT HEDGE?

Nebody seemed to know that if we finished 2nd in the group (most likely) if we would qualify for the next stage—such iz the chaotic nature of the competition!

Anyway the 2nd half started off just like the forst, az pass after pass went astray and in the 68thminute we were punished for this when Rotherham took the lead when Bailey nodded in a glancin’ heeder!

Aaall looked lost but Callum Roberts saved the day for us 10 mins later with a shot from the edge of the box at The Clubhoose End!
THE CLUBHOOSE (in the far corner) END!

Like aa say—az there iz ne format for qualification to the next roond we haven’t got a clue if we will qualify!?---OR NOT!?---wot a farce!
"WE WAZ THERE!"---A CRUMPLED TEAM SHEET!

 

PS: This waz in fact ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ 4th Rotherham home groond that we’ve seen The Toon play on!---the others bein’ Millmoor, Don Valley Stadium and New York Stadium

Aalso it waz the 2ndnew groond in a row to see the same home team (New York Stadium waz groond 322!) probably the one and anly time this will ever happen!

 

PPS: I paid the price of standin’ in the freezin’ conditions and still wasn’t reet by Xmas weekend!

Sorves me right yoo might say!?

 

 

 

Monday, 19 December 2016

305 (revisited) pirelli stadium burton on trent

Ground number 305 (revisited)

Date of this visit: 17th December 2016
Pirelli Stadium, Burton on Trent

Burton Albion 1
Newcastle United 2 (Gayle, Diame)

EFL Championship
Attendance: 6,665 (1,600 Toon fans)

"Xmas puddin' jokes avoided!---JUST!"
1st half action az we attack the away end goal
(Toon in white)

Beleeeve it or not, we'd actually been here before in 2013 when wor U21 side were thrashed 6-2! by Aston Villa's U21s in a resorve leegue game---little thinkin' that we would ever be back here again, especially for a forst team game!---back then there were just 12 of us who had travelled doon from the north east in a 'crowd' of 222


The train trip doon waz uneventful and we arrived in Burton around aboot 11:30 bells' and heeded for a micro pub not far from the station caalled 'The Weighbridge'!
THE WEIGHBRIDGE CHIMNEY----SANTA'S ENTRANCE!

From there it waz off on the '2 mile route march' to the groond caalin' in at 'The Derby Inn' a mile doon the road to quensh wor thirsts once again!

We arrived at the ground in good time in case there were problems (when a small club gets a much bigger crowd than they normally de, sometimes its chaos to get in!)

Just like the Wigan game in the previous midweek we didn't play well but somehow managed to take aall 3 points against a team who thought that this waz their cup final!

Dwight Gayle opened the scorin' for us in the 15th minute with a neat back heel after a low cross from Richie foond hiz feet, but typically for us it didn't last lang and Burton produced an equaliser just 5 mins later to send their 5,000 fans into raptures!

A 2nd goal for us in the 35th minute when Diame slotted home after slippin' a defender waz enough to claim the points, but the 2nd half waz very scrappy with Burton gannin close on a few occasions with Karl Darlow in fine form to make a couple of great saves!
The Toon kick off the 2nd half

Not a game yoo would save to watch in future years!---that's for sure!, but we gan into Xmas week top of the Xmas tree and 9 points above 3rd place!
Roll on the new year!
A view to die for!---The optics in the private boxes behind the away seats!

After the match we made the lang trek back to the station a caught a train to Sheffield where a few celebratory drinks were consumed befor reboardin' the train back yem!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Hayden, Shelvey, Ritchie (Gouffran 85), Atsu, Diame, Gayle

The post match gargels took place in Sheffield!

  
Sheffield Tap --£5 a pint!

 
 


 

Friday, 16 December 2016

251 (revisited) jjb stadium wigan


Ground number 251 revisited 

Date of this visit: 14th December 2016

JJB Stadium (its original name!) Wigan

 

Wigan Athletic 0

Newcastle United 2 (Diame, Atsu)

 

EFL Championship

Attendance: 14,562 (4,800 Toon fans)



“OWER THE MOON!”

 

This waz a scrappy performance under a full moon, which
hovered aboot above the groond, and Toon fans were definatly ‘ower the moon’ with this result, which takes us back to the top of the table by 1 point from Brighton, but more importantleee, NINE points above Reading in 3rd place (and with a goal difference of plus 27!)


















The big breakthrough came in the 26th minute when Mo Diame played a one-two thre with Issac Hayden to welly the baall into the net in front of the Toon faithful to lift the roof off that end of the groond!

Up until this point the game had been dire az aa watched the full moon rise above the ground---(aa waz THAT bored with the proceedings on the pitch!)

If anything the 2nd half waz WORSE iz we failed miserably to add to wor score.



Wigan had chances to equalise and one shot in particular waz brilliantly saved by Karl Darlow in The Toon goal!

And then the decisive goal!

Gouffran ran doon the left flank and crossed the baall to (super sub) Atsu who hit a sweet left footer into the roof of the net to claim the 3 points and send us back to the top of the table!

 

Not a good game to watch---but it’s the points that matter!



Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie (Atsu 69), Shelvey, Hayden, Gouffran, Diame, Gayle (Perez 82)

 

The pre match ‘gargels’ took place here!


NEWTOWN CLUB


 

  

Thursday, 15 December 2016

"NO LEEK SHOW TOMORROW!"------

Posted 12:50pm bells Thorsday 15th December 2016

"LEEK PUDDINGS!"

News reaches the (new) Geordie Times that wor under 23s game at Leek against Stoke U23s scheduled for tomorrow neet haz been moved at the last minute to Stoke's trainin' groond!
"THE B*STARDS!!!"

Thiz iz a dastardly deed az a'v taken a day of work to visit Leek az av nevaa been there before to watch The Toon!
I have of course been to Stoke's Clayton Wood trainin' groond before (in NEWCASTLE-under Lyme!) so will just gan 'on the hoy' in the Toon instead tomorrow afternoon! <(Xmas jumper Friday!)

This isn't the forst time that Stoke have done this to us and a letter of complaint signed on behalf of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' iz in the post aalready! (WITHOOT a Xmas card!)

The match report from last neets game in Wigan will not appear here til much later, az av got to gan to graft today---I'll have much more time to do it tomorrow of course!---won't I just!!!!

Sunday, 11 December 2016

THE TOON 4 BORMINGHAM BRUMMIES 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '11:23am bells' Sunday 11th December 2016
GOUFFRAN GOAL! (Geordie Times excluuusive!)

"IT'LL BE AALL DWIGHT ON THE NIGHT!" ("sic!")

A suburb hat-trick from Dwight Gayle put NUFC 'back on track' and back to the top of the Championship with a resoondin' fower-nil victory ower 'The Blue Noses' in front of wor biggest crowd of the season!

Goal one: A Diame cross iz heeded into the Gallowgate End net by Gayle in the 18th minute az we completlee dominate wor opponents!
1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL!

Goal two: A deflected cross from Hayden finds the feet of Gayle and from 3 yards oot he haz the simple task of slottin' the baall into the net after 24 minutes on the clock!

Goal three (2nd half): Goofy Gouffran gets in on the act just 3 mins after the restart to slot home an easy chance at The Leazes End after Gayle had fluffed a good chance!

Goal fower: Shelvey pulls the baall back across the box and Dwight Gayle fires home with 8 mins left on the clock to seeel the victory and 3 points!
"WE'VE SEEN THE LIGHT!" (The Leazes corner celebrates wor win!)

Brummie fans have a song which gans: "Keep right on til the end of the road!"---perhaps they shud adopt a new song: "This iz the road to HELL!", after their capitulation at SJP in front of their 3,000 plus travellin' fans!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Shelvey, Hayden (Laasar 81), Gouffran (Atsu 69), Diame, Gayle (Mitrovic 78)

Attendance: 52,145 (3,100 Brummies!)

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

NUFC GEORDIE TIMES COMMENT

Posted '1:45pm bells' Tuesday 6th December 2016

It's been a month since aa started this new blog az aa couldn't renew the old one (geordietimes.com) despite tryin' for ower THREE WEEKS!

I then got an e mail tellin' me that it would cost me $95 to renew when the old price waz $15!

Az aa'd made nothin' whatsoever from that blog aa decided to gan back to 'Blogspot' which iz FREE!

I am still tryin' to work oot just how to download some of my old stuff from there to my new blog---but it isn't eazy---aa can tell yiz.!

I have managed to download a 'classic' tale' from a qwaataa of a century ago (see below) and will endeavour to download the rest (eventually!)

I had exactly 888 hits in mee forst month to add to the 241,856 aa had with my old blog----Not bad for a brand new website, but I've still lost some 3,000 pageviews az followers obviousleee gan to my old site! (which iz doon!)
Tell everyone yoo know that The (NUFC) Geordie Times iz alive and kickin'

Cheers!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)  

091 (revisited) elm park, reading


Ground 091 (revisited)

Date of Visit: 27th January 1990

Elm Park, Reading

 

Reading  3

Newcastle United  3  (McGee (2), Quinn)

 

FA Cup 4th round

Attendance: 11,989 (est 2,000 Toon fans)

 


“Wheaze keyz are theaze?”

 
 


Several of us set off from ‘The Central’ on an orly train to King’s Cross sufferin’ from hangowers from the previous neet ‘binge session’ in ‘The Forth’, ‘The Star’ and ‘The Waterloo’, etc

 

We’d played ‘The Biscuitmen’ @ Elm Park for the forst time ever in The Leegue Cup orlier that season when we lost 3-1 and unbelievably we drew them away again in the FA Cup!

 

On arrival in ‘the smoke’ we made for Paddington where the train to Reading waz leavin’ from. Elm Park wasn’t far from the station and we did several ‘liquid lubrication locations’ on the way and by the time we got to the ground we were ‘canny snozzled’!

 

We took up wor places on the open standin’ terrace behind the goal, just in time to see the kick off.

Behind this open end there were a row of terraced hooses with their back gardens backin’ onto the perimeter wall. An old wifey waz hangin’ hor washin’ on a line, which included a very large pair of ‘pantaloons’! <(bloomers!) which she fastened with some clothes pegs she had in hor mouth!

The game kicked off and straight away The Toon went for the ‘jugular’. After a few chances we finally took the lead in the 27thminute when a Ray Ranson free kick on the edge of the box foond the heed of Mickey Quinn and he nodded the baall goalwards. The baall went in off the post az the Reading goalie got a hand to it, but couldn’t stop it enterin’ the net! --- 1-0 to ‘us’!

 

The lead didn’t last lang however az Bjorn Kristensen lost possession and the baall finally fell to the feet of full back Lindon Jones and he fired the baall past Burridge in the Toon goal --- 1-1!

A quick throw in a few minutes later allowed ‘Quinny’ to have a ‘half shot’ which foond the grateful Mark McGee and he had the simple task of puttin’ the baall into an empty net to restore wor lead az their goalie went ‘AWOL’! ---2-1 to ‘us’!

 

Disaster them befell us again on the stroke of half time when ‘Quinny’ attempted a back pass to ’Budgie’ Burridge but the baall foond Senior instead and he slid the baall into the net az Stimpson tried to whack it clear, but the linesman flagged to say that the baall HAD crossed the line! --- 2-2 nuw!

Again we re-took the lead orly in the 2nd half when a Ranson left footed shot waz parried by Francis in the Reading goal, but the baall fell nicely to Mark McGee who gleefully knocked home the rebound! –3-2 to ‘us’!

 

However!---this iz NUFC and 3 minutes into injury time the home side again drew level when a disastrous 40 yard back pass from John Gallacher, who waz under ne pressure, foond Reading winger Gilkes instead and he had the easy task of knockin’ the baall past Burridge to complete the greatest give-away since the invention of the January sales!!!

 

After the match we heeded straight back to Reading station and caught the forst train back to Paddington, where (again!) a canny few pints were shifted doon wor ‘gregorys’ and it waz at this point we lost ‘Fawlty Towers’ who waz a bit ‘cattle-trucked’ to say the least!

 

It waz then ‘onward’ to Hammersmith where we bumped into ‘Malla’, an exiled Geordie who worked in London az a painter and desercrator <(No!—this iz not a spellin’ error!) alang with several other exiles who worked doon there. Malla used to de hand drawn cartoons aboot the exploits of hiz fellow companions and called it “ER!” ‘The Geordie Times’! <(where we got the name from for this blog!)

Malla had digs opposite Charing Cross Hospital on Fulham Palace Road and he telt me aa could ‘doss’ there for the neet before catchin’ the train yem the next mornin’!

 

After many more ‘liquid lubrications’ in ‘The Swan’ and various othaa waaterin’ holes aroond Hammersmith we heeded off to ‘Malla’s pad for some much needed ‘shut-eye’---he said “This iz where aa live!” az he pointed towards a row of aboot 30 terraced hooses opposite Charing Cross Hospital and he invited me in!

“Aa’m starvin’!” said I (haadin’ mee beer-gut!) az Malla produced a very large bunch of keys to open the door! “There’s a fish shop and a chingkeez doon the road if yi want a ‘nose bag’!—Here’s the keys to let yersel back in!”, he said az he handed them to me (There were keys for hiz hoose, van and place he waz workin’ amongst others!)

 

So ‘off aa went’, trundlin’ doon the road from side to side and by pure chance aa bumped into ‘Tex’ Taylor who had been drinkin’ with us orlier on!

“Aa’m stoppin’ at Malla’s place up the road!”, aa said to Tex, “But aa’m gaannin for a ‘nose-bag’ forst coz aa’m claamin’—like!”

He followed me to ‘the chingkeez’ where 2 chicken currys with chips, fried rice and wontongs were consumed on the way back to Malla’s hoose and aa spilt half the curry sauce doon the front of mee Toon top!

The anly problem WAZ!---aa couldn’t remember which door it waz???—Aa took a wild guess and tried the keys in a front door lock, but it wouldn’t turn ---and so aa knocked loudly and sleepy eyed gadgie built like a Masai warrior who waz wearin’ a dressin’ gown and  a snazzy pair of carpet slippers (eventually!) came doon and answered the door <(ie: NOT Malla coz he’s a skinny c**t!) and he waz ‘non too pleezed’ to be awoken from hiz slumbers by 2 drunken Geordies! --“Sorry mate!—wrang hoose!” aa said sheepishly az he angrily slammed the front door in wor faces, mutterin’ sommik not very nice in a broad ‘Landan’ accent! <(“Fackin’ Cockney bustard!”)

 
FULHAM PALACE ROAD---"BUT WHICH DOOR?"

Not wantin’ to risk anothaa confrontation like that! and not havin’ a clue which waz Malla’s door, we decided to try and find somewhere else to kip for the night and heeded off back doon the road!

“Aa naa where there’s some railway sidings---We can climb into a carriage and get some sleep on the seats!”, said Tex

And so---‘off we set’ to find wor beds for the neet---it wasn’t that far away and so we sneaked onto a train in the sidings and ‘crashed oot’! “ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz!!!!!!!”

 

Aboot 2 hours later aa felt a ‘jolt’ and opened mee ‘mincers’ and looked oot the window---

“TONY!” aa shouted <(Tex’s othaa name) “THE PLATFORM’S MOVIN’!”

Tex awoke suddenly and said, “It’s NOT the platform that’s movin’ yi daft C***!---It’s the F***IN’ TRAIN!”

 

PANIC STATIONS!!!—The train went for a few miles and suddenly stopped at Harringay Station!---It waz time to make A SHARP exit az we didn’t have a clue just where the train waz gannin’!

 

On alighting from the train aa fumbled in mee pocket and produced a large bunch of keys which I damgled in front of Tex

“Where did yi get them from?” he said  “Aa havvent got a clue?”  aa replied in a drunken stupor and az they were weighin’ mee pocket doon aa hoyed them away onto the railway tracks!

 

We then made wor way in the direction of King’s Cross, az by this time it waz ‘5 bells’ in the mornin’ and the forst train back yem waz due in!  Az we sobered up around aboot the Durham area the realisation ‘HIT ME’ that the ‘MYSTERY KEYS’ were wot Malla had given me to get into hiz flat!!!

Luckily! <(for me!) there were ne mobile phones in them days and Malla didn’t have my land-line number, so he couldn’t rant and rave at me!---until the next time we met at least!

Next day aa went doon to ‘The North British Bar’ (since renamed ‘Raffertys’) in Pink Lane near to ‘The Central’ where a’d arranged to meet Fawlty Towers’ who we’d lost at Paddington the day before and had never seen since!?

On orderin’ mee ‘liquid lubrication’ the ‘telling-bone’ rang behind the coontaa and the manager asked if there waz a ‘Fink’ in the bar! <(remember?---NE mobiles in them days!)

Aa reluctantly put mee hand up and hoped (and prayed) that it WASN’T Malla on the othaa end!---Thankfully It WASN’T—it waz ‘Fawlty’ to my great relief!

 

“Are yi comin’ doon for a a few ‘gargels’?” aa asked him!

“A’m in SOUTH WALES!---aa got the wrang train!—thought aa waz in King’s Cross, NOT Paddington and ended up in CARDIFF!”  <(yi couldn’t make it up!)

“SO!—yi NOT comin’ for a drink then!”, aa replied az he slammed the phone doon at the othaa end!

 

A few weeks later in ‘The Adelphi’ aa bumped into Malla ,  who waz non too pleased to see me!  “Where’s mee keys like?” he said in a not too friendly voice!

Wot could aa say???---aa just shrugged mee shoulders and bought him a pint to calm him doon!

“Aa had to get some new keys cut for mee hoose, van and work and mee landlord and work’s gaffer were NOT ‘happy bunnies’ when aa telt them a’d lost their keys!”

However!---He understood (from forst hand experience!) that the ravages of alchohol de funny things to your brain cells and he haz half forgiven me! <(Aa ‘fink’?)

To this day aa caall him “Wheayz Keyz Malla” and produce a bunch of rattlin’ keys from mee pocket when aa see him---just to remind him---like! <(NOT that he’ll ever forget!)

 

PS: We won the replay 4-1 with Mark McGee (2), Micky Quinn and Mark Robinson getting’ wor goals---(this waz Robinson’s one and anly goal for NUFC)

We never played @ Elm Park again <(Reading have moved on to ‘pastures new’)

 

 

 

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