"DON'T SOUND THE ALARM BELLS YET!"---"BUT!"

Posted '8:13pm bells' Bank Holiday Munday 31st August 2015

TYNE-TAALK!

The taalk aroond the bars in 'The Toon' after the Arsenal match (and yesterday) waz---"It'll bee aallreet---divvint panic!" az we foond worsels in the bottom two of the Premyaa Leegue with just the SMBs below us!
Of course yi cannit judge after fower games played, but a worryin' recurrin' stat iz that we have had less shots on target in the forst fower games, than 'yellow/red cards' in the last one! (SEVEN!) (TWELVE yellow and TWO red cards in total!)
(PS: We aalso picked up TWO yellows in wor Leegue Cup tie against Northampton---for good measure!)

In total we have scored TWO goals and had SIX shots on target in those Premyaa Leegue games, with NE shots on target in the last TWO! (although we did hit the bar @ Man U) 
On top of that we hear that wor joint top scorer in the Premyaa Leegue, Papiss Cisse (with ONE goal!) could be transfored on the last day of the 'window' tomorrow, leavin' us with very little cover up front!

We sincerely hope that this ISN'T the case, az ne one iz rumoured to be comin' in to replace him---should he leave for pastures new!

"CRISIS!-----WOT CRISIS!"

THE TOON 0 THE ARSE 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 30th August 2015

THE TOON KICK OFF (we still had 11 players on the pitch at this point!)

"Who's yi farthaa!?---who's yi farthaa!?---who's yi
farrrrrthaa--referee!?"

SIX bookings and ONE sendin' off proved the downfall for 'The Toon' yesterday dinnaatime az ower zealous ref 'a' Mr. 'A' Marriner dished oot the cards az though they were gannin' oot of fashion!

From the start 'The Arse' went for the jugular az they attacked The Leazes End where their 3,000 fans were housed in 'level 7'


THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL (1st half)


The main taalkin' point of the game came in the 16th minute when Mitrovic waz given a 'red' for standin' on Coquelin's foot, when a 'yellow' seemed appropriate!

'The Arse' players were divin' aboot az though they'd been shot and connin' the ref and FOWER more cards were shown to Toon player durin' this half--of the 'yellow' variety!

Somehow we went in 0-0 at the break and the ref had to endure loud booin' az he came off the pitch!

We had held wor own in the forst period but it took the visitors just 6 minutes of the 2nd half to make the breakthrough!
An Aaron Ramsey shot waz saved by Tim Krul in The Toon goal but the baall rebounded oot to Chamberlin who's resultin' shot waz gannin' wide, but the unfortunate Coloccini caught it with the inside of hiz leg and the baall deflected into the corner of the net to give 'The Arse' the lead!

Up until this point we had had NE shots on target, but hadn't played badly, but that goal proved to be the winner az 2 more Toon player were shown 'yellows' to make it 6 in total! ('The Arse' had just 1 player booked, by the way!)

ACTION IN THE SHADOWS @ THE LEAZES END (2nd half)

At the end the players came off to a standin' ovation which torned to loud boos for the beleaguered ref Marriner who had 'sunk' The Toon on hiz own!

We now sit in the bottom 3 with anly the SMB's and Sooothampton below us -- az we speak!

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Mbemba, Coloccini, Haidara, Anita (Perez 72), Colback, Sissoko (Cisse 78), Wijnaldum, Thourvin (De Jong 87), Mitrovic 

Attendance: 50,388 (3,000 Arseholes!) *

ANGRY AND DESPONDANT TOON FANS LEAVIN' THE GROOND
AFTER THE MATCH!

 

THE TOON v THE ARSE *** TOMORROW DINNAATIME!

Posted '2:40pm bells' Friday 28th August 2015

ARSE ACTION FROM LAST SEASON *** THE TOON LOST 2-1

We welcome 'The Arse' to St James' Park tomorrow for yet anothaa lunchtime kick off--(wor THIRD oot of FOWER in the Premyaa Leegue so far!) <(The joys? of live futbaall on the telly!)

NUFC hover just above the bottom 3 and a draw would be a good result against the FA Cup holders and title pretenders!
The bad news iz we have lost the last SEVEN games against the 'norf Landaners'---and haven't beaten them here for TEN years! (When Nobby Solano scored the anly goal in a 1-0 win back in 2005!)

A full Geordie Times match and 'liquid luncheon' report will appear here on Sunday az per usual!

SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 27th August 2015

It haz been conformed that we will play Sheffield Wednesday on a Wednesday neet in wor Leegue Cup 3rd roond tie @ St James' Park!
Apparently 'Wednesday' refused point blank to play on a Tuesday!?---so Wednesday 23rd September it iz with a '7:45 bells' kick off!

THE TOON 4 A LOAD OF COBBLERS 1 *** LEEGUE CUP 2nd ROOND 2015-2016

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 26th August 2015

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st half)
(FOTO TAKEN BY JAMIE AGED 5 (and three qwaataz!)

"TOON 'BOOT' COBBLERS OOT OF CUP!"

The Toon took on lowly Northampton Toon @ St James' last neet with a much changed team from the one that got a draw at 'The Theatre of Muppets' on Saturday. (Anly Haidara and Perez who started against Man U were in the startin' line up this time!)

We were oot of the blocks aalmost immediately and took the lead in the 3rd minute when Florian Thourvin swivelled a shot into the back of the net from a Haidara cross to give us the lead @ The Leazes End!

Just 5 minutes later and wor lead waz doubled when De Jong fired home from a Thourvin centre and a cricket score looked on the cards!---But this IZ NUFC! and just a minute later Tiote gave away a needless 'handbaall' penalty @ The Gallowgate End, which Richards dispatched past resorve goalie Karl Darlow in The Toon goal!

3 goals in the forst 10 minutes and wor hearts were racin' az wor visitors went for an equaliser az wor defence waz at sixes and sevens for a brief period!

Thourvin then put the baall in the net again for us--anly for it to be ruled offside by the linesmans flag!

We restored wor 2 goal lead orly in the 2nd half through Janmaat and again Thourvin supplied the baall!


JAMIE TAKES A FOTO OF THE BLACK SKY! (2nd half)
"IT'S DARK GRANDDAD!---ISN'T IT!?" 


Thourvin then wellied ower a free kick in the 63rd minute which foond the heed of Williamson who glanced the baall into the net to to 'nail the victory and 'boot' <(sic!) 'The Cobblers oot of the Leegue Cup!

WILLIAMSON SCORES WOR 4th GOAL @ THE GALLOWGATE END!
(JAMIE EXCLUUUSIVE!)

Grandson Jamie who waz watchin' hiz 3rd forst team game waz 'ower the moon' az this waz the forst time he had ever seen us win!
(Hiz previous 2 were a 2-2 draw with Hull and a 1-0 defeat by The Borussia Munchin'gladbachs in a pre season friendly!)

A satisfactory performance (apart from the daft penalty) and the draw for the next roond waz again kind to us with anothaa home tie against Championship side Sheff Wed!

"I WAZ THERE!"
(JAMIE SHOWS OFF HIZ 'PRIZED' MATCH TICKET!)

 

Toon team: Darlow,Janmaat, Lascelles, Williamson, Haidara (Toney 78), Tiote, Gouffran, Aarons, De Jong, Thourvin (Mitrovic 65),  Perez (Colback 72)

Attendance: 26, 923
(989 Cobblers!) in the far corner of this pic >>>>>>>>>>>>>








The pre-match 'gargels' took place here!

JAMIE GETS STUCK INTO HIS 'COKE-BEER' IN
'THE STRAWBERRY' 'BEER BAR'!

THE TOON v A LOAD OF COBBLERS! *** LEEGUE CUP 2nd ROOND 2015-2016

Posted '11:33am bells' Tuesday 25th August 2015

Toneet 'The Toon' take on Northampton 'Toon' in the Leegue Cup 2nd roond @ St James' Park.
The tie which kicks off @ '7:45 bells' must be played to a conclusion with extra time and penalties if necessary! <(lets hope not!)

It will be very interestin' to see wot side 'Brollyman McClaren' will pick in wor quest to win a major trophy at last!
("Pleeze! pleeeeze! NOT a resorve X1, Steve---or else we'll be in trouble!")

The tie haz riveted 'The Cobblers from Northampton' and they had sold a grand total of 989 tickets for The Leazes/ East Stand corner by last neet!
We expect a crowd of between 25,000 and 30,000 to torn up with the lower bowl just open toneet! 
(The old 'current bun' haz made an appearance in the Tyneside sky, but it's a bit windy with a few clouds blowin' aboot az we speak, but at least it's not rainin'---yet!?)

A full 'Geordie Times' match and pix report will appear here az per usual sometime tomorrow!---watch this space az per usual!  

U21s GAME @ BRIGHTON POSTPONED!

Posted '9:00am bells' Munday 24th August 2015

Wor Resorve U21s game @ Brighton's trainin' groond in Lancing later today haz been postponed due to the fatal air show crash at nearby Shoreham on Saturday---Ne date for the re-arranged match haz been set yet

THE MANC MUPPETEERS 0 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted '11:30am bells' Sunday 23rd August 2015

THE TOON KICK OFF
(WE ARE IN WOR NEW WHITE AND BLUE AWAY STRIP)

A much much better defensive performance than last week @ Swanzee, ensured we came away from 'The Theatre of Muppets' with an unexpected point in this goal-less draw!

Again (just like at Swanzee) it waz the home side who battered wor defence and after just 7 minutes or so 'that thorn in wor side'  'Wayne "where's mee hair"? Rooney' slotted the baall into wor net---anly for the linesman to raise hiz flag and rule it 'offside'!---It waz a close caall, but the officials are aalways reet---arnt they?

We had wor moments too and new boy Mitrovic hit the bar with a powerful heeder @ The Stretford End', but unfortunatally it bounced back into play!

Coloccini, Taylor and Krul in particular had outstandin' games for us and saved us several times from gannin behind in the 2nd period!


NEW BOY 'FLO' THOURVIN SENDS A CORNER IN, LATE ON!

The Toon nearly won it at the 'death' when anothaa new boy Florian Thourvin agonisingly just failed to connect to the baall with an outstretched leg from a Cisse cross! (Cisse had just come on in the 88th minute!)

Apart from Mitrovic's heeder, we had NE shots on target az far az aa can remember!? <(several pints of the local brew before the game might have sommik to de with that!)

TWO points oot of the forst NINE!---we are cruisin'!

PS: On the retorn jorney back yem the train waz engulfed in a thunder and lightnin' storm and it waz rainin' that hard waataa started drippin' through the roof az we approached York!

It didn't let up and by the time aa got yem aa waz like a drowned rat az aa waalked through mee front door drippin' wet, az the storm engulfed Tyneside! <(the joys of followin' The Toon away!)

Toon team: Krul, Coloccini, Mbemba, Taylor, Haidara, Colback, Anita, Wijnaldum, Obertan (Thourvin 69), Perez (Tiote 78), Mitrovic (Cisse 88)

Attendance: 75,354 (2,000 or so relieved Toon fans!) *

THE PRE MATCH GARGELS TOOK PLACE HERE!
(MANC CITY CENTRE)

THE POST MATCH GARGELS TOOK PLACE HERE!
(MANC CITY CENTRE)

AND HERE!
 

 

"USA AALL THE WAY!" *** "30,000 THANKYOOZ!"

Posted '2:57 pm bells' Friday 21st August 2015

THE CELEBRATIONS HAVE BEGAN AT THE TOP OF
THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING IN IN NEW YORK AZ WE SPEAK!

An 'historic event' haz occurred in the last few days---for wor friends 'across the pond' in the old USA have just clocked up their THIRTY THOOSANDTH 'HIT' on The Geordie Times website!

Once again we must thank wor American/Geordie mates for visitin' us on a regular basis!

Once again a VERY BIG thankyooo!

THE MANC MUPPETEERS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW @ '12:45 BELLS'!

Posted '1:22pm bells' Friday 21st August 2015

Tomorrow dinnaatime we heed for the delights of Salford where we take on 'The Cockney Reds' @ The Theatre of Muppets!

An orly start for the 2nd week in a row meenz we are catchin' the '6:30 am bells' train in the mornin' <(like we did last week when we went to Swanzee!) and shud arrive there in plenty of time for a few gargels before the match!

Just ONE win there in the last 21 attempts meenz that we are definite 2nd favourites once again to pick up the 3 points with the odds stacked against us!
Wayne Rooney iz lookin' for hiz 13th! goal against us in the Premyaa Leegue era!

Aall £46 Toon tickets have been sold, although they havvent said just how many will be in wor usual  East Stand seats in the visitors enclosure? (live on BT)

New boy Florian Thauvin will make hiz debut for us and will wear the number 20 shirt!

We sincerely hope that we DIVVINT play like we did @ Swanzee and get somebody sent off before half time, or else we are in for a hidin'!

But who knows?---this IZ NUFC after aall and anythin' can happen!

Full match report to follow on Sunday---sometime!

WAR-CHEST NEWS *** £50(ish!) MILLION NOW SPENT!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 20th August 2015


THE 'HAIR' APPARENT TO THE NUMBER 20 SHIRT!

Wor 4th major signin' haz arrived on Tyneside by the name of Florian Thauvin from French club Olimpique Marseille for a reported fee of £12 million!
The 22 year old French winger haz signed a 5 year contract and iz available to play @ Man U on Saturday.
He will wear the number 20 shirt which haz been vacated by Remy Cabella who heeds in the opposite direction on a year long loan!

More to follow on wor trip to 'The Theatre of Muppets' tomorrow!

NORTHAMPTON TOON *** NEXT TUESDAY NEET!

Posted '2:25pm bells' Tuesday 18th August 2015

Wor home game against 'The Cobblers of Northampton' in the Leegue Cup 2nd roond will be played next Tuesday neet @ '7:45 bells'
Tickets are now on sale to season ticket holders and just the lower sections of St James' will be open for this game az (not suprizinglee!) a sub 30,000 crowd iz predicted!  (Northampton have sold 1,450 tickets!)

THE SWAN LAKERS 2 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted '11:07 am bells' Munday 17th August 2015

THE TOON ATTACK THE FAR GOAL (1st half)

"DISASTERS DAYS CONTINUED!"

Anothaa away day and yet anothaa away defeat and nothin' haz changed since last season! (apart from the manager!)

Wot can we say (again!)  It waz aall Swanzee from the start az they plummeted the goal in front of the loyal Toon fans who had made the lang jorney doon to sooth Wales!
(A roond trip of ower 700 miles!)

A new heed coach--but we seemed to play exactly the same az we did on the road last season and within 5 minutes yoo just knew that disaster loomed az 'we' couldn't get anywhere near 'their' goal!

Swanzee struck the 'inevitable blow' just 4 minutes later when Gomez had the simple task of roundin' Tim Krul in The Toon goal to put the home side 1-0 up!
We couldn't make inroads to fight back and then in the 40th minute it waz 'game ower' az Janmaat got hiz 2nd yellow of the game for pullin' back one of their players and we were doon to 10 men before the break!

'Brollyman McClaren' then brought on Steve Taylor after the half time interval to replace an injured Sissoko and then the home side made the game safe by a free heeder from Ayew in the 52nd minute and we were doomed!

Tactical genius McClaren then substituted the anly attacker left on the field by takin' off Cisse and bringin' on Aarons just TWO minutes after Swanzee had scored????
In effect NUFC were now playin' a '4-5-0 formation! 

A damage limitation exercise? that had the 1,500 travellin' in uproar az we played oot the rest of the game with not one shot on target in front of the away contingent!
Mitrovic came on when it waz tooo late (82nd minute!) az we suffered wor SEVENTH away defeat on the bounce' (Ne away wins since JANUARY now!) (and just TWO GOALS scored!) 


2nd HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON (dark strip)
MAKE A RARE 'SORTE' ON THE SWANZEE GOAL!


Wor retorn jorney on the train next day torned oot to be another disaster az well!---The train guard on wor inter-city train from Bristol to Newcasil had a stroke at Gloucester and we aall had to get off and get a two carriage train to Cheltenham ---and then anothaa train to The Toon with standin' room only!---
Nearly EIGHT hours after leavin' Newport (where we were stayin' for the neet) we eventually arrived back on Tyneside @ '4pm bells Sunday afternoon, completleee 'cream crackered'!

The joys of followin' NUFC away!

Footnote: There were a canny few Wolves fans on the train that had to be abandoned---They were on their way to see their home game against Hull which kicked off @ 'high noon bells', but they had nee chance of makin' the kick off!
One of their number aged 82, (we were told) who hails from Ross on Wye and who haz held a Wolves season ticket for 70 years, waz determined not to miss any of the match and he took a taxi from Gloucester at great expense to get there on time! <(a medal the size of a dustbin lid iz wot he deserves!---hope he made it!?) 

PS: Hope the train guard haz made a full recovery az well!

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Mbemba, Coloccini, Haidara, Anita, Colback, Sissoko (Steve Taylor 46), Wijnaldum, Obertan (Mitrovic 82), Cisse (Aarons 54)

Attendance: 20,678 (1,500 very angry Toon fans!)



*

THE PRE MATCH GARGELS IN SWANZEE TOOK PLACE HERE!

 

    

THE POST MATCH GARGELS TOOK PLACE IN NEWPORT

NEWPORT



THE SWAN LAKERS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOON!

Posted '3:11pm bells' Friday 14th August 2015

Tomorrow mornin' @ '6:20 bells' we face the lang train jorney to sooth Wales for wor game @ Swanzee. 2 changes are needed to get there so me and 'Grumpy Stumpy' are takin' plenty of 'supplies' for the 6 hour plus jorney!

When we get there we will make a 'bee-line' for 'The Villiers Arms', which iz 15 minutes waalk from the groond <(az the drunken magpie staggers!) for the final pre-match liquid lubrications! 

The match we understand iz now a complete selloot, with NUFC fans in the now usual North Stand section behind the goal!

Lets hope we can put in a good performance and bring at least a point back yem?---and a full match and booze report will appear here on eethaa Sunday neet or Munday mornin'!



'The Geordie Times' makes ne apology for diggin' up the match report from wor forst ever visit to The Liberty Stadium when me and 'Sarnie Steve' broke doon on the way to the match near Cardiff! 
(Ground number 274 *** International 'Russ'cue!) 
 MATCH REPORT ON THAT BELOW *

"A LOAD OF COBBLERS!"

Posted '10:44am bells' Friday 14th August 2015

The draw for the Leegue Cup waz made last neet and for once we have been given a home tie against 'The Cobblers of Northampton' from Leegue 2

It's a bit disappointin' that this tie isn't away az 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have never been to Sixfields Stadium, where Northampton play!
However!---it iz still better than havin' to travel to Exeter or Gillingham mid-week <(like we did last season!) and wor forst ever trips to the likes of Rochdale and Fleetwood will have to be 'put on hold' once again until the FA Cup draw at least!

Ne doubt--- az this iz their 'cup final', that "A load of Cobblers!" will occupy level 7 of The Leazes End when the tie iz played at the end of this month!

More to follow on aall this later!

LEEGUE CUP DRAW THORSDAY NEET!

Posted '2:22pm bells' Wednesday 12th August 2015

"Rochdale!--Rochdale!--here we come!?" <(or not az the case may be!) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The draw for the Leegue Cup 2nd roond takes place tomorrow neet which involves NUFC.
There are SEVEN possibilities of gannin' to a new groond for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' and quite a few we have been te az well! (26!)
The 7 we have never been te---are: Shrewsbury's new groond (been to the old one), Oxford's new groond (been to the old one), Rotherham's new groond (been to the old one's! (2) and Barnet's new groond (again!---been to the old one!)
The places NEVER visited by 'us' are MK Dons, Northampton (The Toon did play at their old groond in the 1964-65 season but this before we started 'groundhoppin'!) and finally---Rochdale!

Wor preferred option iz a home draw against a team we have never played in wor history, but for me if it iz away, then Rochdale's Spotland groond iz the one aa want to gan te most! 

In my lifetime aa must have passed the place 2,000 times at least on the M62 followin' 'The Toon' in that area (Manchester, Liverpool, Wigan, Oldham etc) and of course for mee work az a truck driver!---But I have never actually been to ROCHDALE!--- even for work!

"But pleeeze! pleeeze!---NOT Exeter or Gillingham away!---PLEEEEZE!"

THE TOON 2 SOOOTHAMPTON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted '10:45am bells' Munday 10th August 2015

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st half)

A very mixed day @ St James' Park az we kicked off wor campaign for the new season!

Defensive frailties that were evident last season came back to haunt us az the 2 Sooothampton goals were scored by unmarked players who simply heeded the baall past Tim Krul in The Toon goal!

Their forst goal came in the 24th minute when Krul failed to stop a heeder from unmarked Pelle enterin' the net @ The Gallowgate End!
We were on top until this stage and this waz anly Sooothampton's 2nd attack of the game!

We hit back through Papiss Cisse who seemed to chest the baall into the net @ The Leazes End from barely a yard oot from a cross by Haidara just before the break.

It waz soon 2-1 to 'us' shortly after the restart when Obertan went on a superb run doon the right wing to the corner flag. He then hit a pinpoint cross for new boy Wijnaldum who heeded a unstoppable heeder past Skelenenburg in the visitors goal @ The Gallowgate End to lift the roof off the stadium!

ACTION @ THE GALLOWGATE END (2nd half)

Mitrovic made hiz debut in the 75th minute when he replaced Cisse and he very nearly got in 'The Guinness Book of Records' by gettin' sent of within FIVE SECONDS of comin' on with a bad challenge on a Sooothampton defender---Thankfully he waz anly booked by the ref---but this surely iz the quickest ever bookin' by a player makin' hiz debut!?

However!---wor defensive frailties came back once again to haunt us when Shane Long out jumped Janmaat to heed an easy goal in front of 'The Simon Templar Mob' in level 7 of The Leazes End with 11minutes left on the clock!

It could have been worse near the end when Colback inexplicably lost the baall near the half way line and Mane somehow missed the goal from a few yards oot az he broke through wor defence!

A point iz better than nowt aa suppose, but it looks like anothaa lang hard season aheed, with trips to Swanzee next week and then Man U the week after, followed by an 'easy'? home game against 'The Arse' to end off the month!

Toon team: Krul, Mbemba, Coloccini, Janmaat, Haidara, Anita Tiote (68), Colback, Sissoko, Wijnaldum (De Jong 81), Obertan, Cisse (Mitrovic 75)

Attendance: 49,019 (1,500 Sooothampton fans)  *

THE TERRIERS of BEDLINGTON 0 THE DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 8 (EIGHT!) *** NORTHERN LEEGUE DIVISION 1

Posted '10:51am bells' Sunday 9th August 2015


DUNSTON'S 2nd GOAL SCORED BY DAN HALLIDAY


Az the scoreline suggests this waz a completleee one sided game with the visitors on top from start to finish!

Fower of us travelled up to Bedlington, namely 'me', 'Davy the Silver Fox', 'Grumpy Stumpy' and 'Scott of the Antarctic' <(he lives high up in the moontains of Windy Nook in Gatesheed!)

A taxi waz wor means of transport az the bus fare to Bedlington waz a fiver each, so it cost just the same 'to travel in style'!

We'd met up in 'The City Tavern' in the centre of The Toon and arrived 25 minutes later in 'sun-kissed' Bedlington High Street!

'The Market Tavern' waz wor forst 'port o call' before movin' on to 'The Northumberland Arms' and then onwards to the Dr. Pitt groond not far away for the last 'liquid refreshments' in the clubhoose before kick off!

Dunston went for 'the jugular' straight from the kick off az they pounded the home goal.
2 goal in quick succession and a string of missed chances, plus a penalty appeal torned doon put the visitors (or the 'guests' az the giant scoreboard said) aheed by the break---but it could and shud have been many more!


THE GIANT SCOREBOARD---THAT DIDN'T WORK!



The rout started at the start of the 2nd half when 'The Bad Blue Boys' went 3-0 up <(we missed it az we were still in the clubhouse for wor half time gargels! It waz soon 4 and 5 before 3 more goals at the end finished 'The Terriers' off! (a hat-trick for super sub Malcolm Morien!)


MORIEN SCORES THE 6th GOAL! (OR WAZ IT THE 7th?)


It's hard to imagine, but just a few short years ago Bedlington won The Northern Leegue FIVE times in a row and now they faced humiliation in front of their dwindlin' band of supporters who numbered barely 100. The Dunston committee men plus and few fans made up the rest of the numbers <(30 we reckon!)


DUNSTON TAKE A CORNER AZ THE SCRUFFY LOOKIN'
TERRIER AND HIZ MASTER (in Bedlington red) LOOK ON!
(Definitely NOT! a 'Bedlington terrier'!) 
 


It waz then off to 'The Barrington' up the street from 'The Dr. Pitt' to celebrate a great victory before retornin' in style (once again!)  to 'The Strawberry' next to St James' Park for yet more 'gargels'!

"GIVE IZ AN 'I'!"

*

THE TOON v SOOOTHAMPTON **** THIS SUNDAY @ '1:30 BELLS'!

Posted '12:18pm bells' Friday 7th August 2015


"NO!--IT'S NOT A 'DODGY LOOKIN' LAMB!---IT'S A BEDLINGTON TERRIER!"


The big day iz aalmost upon us and we are travellin' up to 'sunny'? Bedlington tomorrow afternoon where 'The Terriers' are takin' on 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston in a Northern Leegue encoontaa @ 'The Dr. Pitt Welfare Groond'!

And az for NUFC?----Sunday afternoon iz the startin' point against 'The Saints' of Sooothampton @ St James' where the 3 new boys will make their Premyaa Leegue debuts for The Toon.
Club captain 'Fab' Coloccini haz signed a 1 year extension to hiz contract and we can anly hope that 'a new dawn' haz arrived on Tyneside and that we can make a winnin' start against the soooth coast outfit!
It's ower 9 years since wor new boss 'Brollyman' McClaren took charge of a Premyaa Leegue game, when he waz manager of 'The Smog Monsters of Teesside' (they lost 1-0 @ Fulham!)

Sooothampton, we understand, have been allocated 1,646 tickets for level 7 of The Leazes End and still have quite a few tickets left to sell az we speak! (ie: There will be less than 1,646 of them on Sunday!)
Despite this a 50,000 plus crowd iz predicted by 'us'

'The Geordie Times' will publish a match, boozer and pix report on both games, sometime on Munday
(PS: A 'crowd' 'approachin' 150 iz predicted by us @ Bedlington!)

"IVAN THE TERRIBLE SIGNS!" ("ER!--that's 'terrible' for opposition defences!)

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 6th August 2015

'GEORDIE TIMES NEWSFLASH'!

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' via carrier pigeon that 19 year old striker Ivan Toney haz signed for us from Northampton Toon on a lang torm deal!
Toney haz scored 11 times in 29 starts for Northampton and will be in wor U21 resorve squad we understand!

We can anly hope that part of the deal includes a friendly @ Northampton's Six Fields Stadium sometime in the future!--A ground that 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have never been te! <(fingers and toes crossed!)

He could? make hiz debut in wor U21s fixture v Wolves U21s @ Bucks Head, Telford on Saturday <(AYE! we've been there!)
It's a '3:00 bells' kick off if yoo fancy it! (£5 for big kids, £4 for zimmerframeites and just £1 for sprogs!)  

Meeenwhile! wor U18s are aalso in action on the same day in deepest Staffordshire against Stoke U18 @ their Clayton Wood Trainin' Groond ('11:00 bells') <(AYE! we've been there az well!)*** FREE admission!

Az the above kick off times are 4 hours apart and the groonds are just 1 hour apart, this iz the ideal opportunity for any 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' who havvent been to eethaa ground, to de a unique 'double header' in one day! 

THE MAG-NIFICENT SEVEN?---NEW BOSS BUT NOTHIN' CHANGES!

Posted '12:33pm bells' Wednesday 5th August 2015

Despite a disastrous season in 2014-2015 when of course we anly avoided relegation on the last day, the team who played against Borussia Munchen'gladbach on Saturday in wor last pre season friendly included ne fewer than SEVEN  of the players who started wor last pre season friendly against Real Sociadad the season before!--plus anothaa TWO who came on az subs

Quite simply--many of the seven are 'deadwood' az far az we are concerned and to try and carry on with them and just three new signings to date, iz surely anothaa recipe for disaster?

We obviously hope we are dead wrang and that 'Brollyman McClaren' can sort us oot despite us anly winnin' 2 of wor 7 pre season games in which we didn't play well in ANY of them!

Of course wor minds stretch back to 2009 when a 6-1 defeat to the hands of Leyton Orient in a pre season friendly in eest Landan made us fear the worst for the forthcomin' season----anly for us to win The Championship by 'a country mile' in the season that followed!

*Lets hope that this iz the case again <(we shall soon find oot on Sunday when we play Sooothampton @ St James'!)
*It shud be noted that NUFC are currently 1,000 to 1 to win The Premyaa Leegue!

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE!
The teams that lined up against Sociadad and Borussia:
Players who played in both games in pink:
Players who didn't play in both games in yellow

Sociadad last season                Borussia last Saturday
Krul                                          Krul
Janmaat                                    Jammaat
Williamson                               Williamson
Coloccini                                  *Steve Taylor
Haidara                                     Haidara
Anita                                         Anita
Gouffran                                  *Obertan
Sissoko                                     Sissoko
Colback                                    Colback
Cabella                                     Wijnaldum
Riviere                                      Cisse
                                                  *came on az subs against Sociadad!

100,000 THANKOOOZ TO WOR OWERSEAS REEEDERS!

Posted '2:33pm bells' Munday 3rd August 2015

The 7 bridges that span The 'sacred' River Tyne between Newcasil and Gatesheed
(Top to bottom) The Redheugh bridge, The King Edward bridge,
The QE2 (Metro) bridge, The High Level bridge, The Swing Bridge,
The Tyne bridge and finally The Millennium bridge  

We never realised it at the time but 'The Geordie Times' reached anothaa 'landmark' a few day ago when we received wor ONE HUNDRED THOOSANDTH pageview from owerseas <(and beyond!)

In total 100,677 have now viewed this site from the USA to the UAE with more than half that total comin' from just 3 countries, namely the USA (29,000 plus), the Ukraine (15,000 plus) and Jawmany (14,000 plus)

Again we thank each and every one of yoo for loggin' in to 'The Mad-Sad Groundhoppers' website!---lang may it continue!

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!---WHEY AYE MAAN!"

THE TOON 0 THE BORUSSIA MUNCHIN'GLADBACHS 1 *** PRE SEASON FRIENDLY 2015-2016

Posted '11:20am bells' Sunday 2nd August 2015

"BORUSSIA 'MUNCH' THE TOON AZ JAMIE ^ 'MUNCHES' CHOCOLATE BUTTONS!"

Wor one and anly home pre season friendly ended in a 1-0 defeat for The Toon against The Munchin'gladbachs of Jawmany to make it 4 defeats, 2 wins and a draw in wor 7 pre season games!

Of wor 3 new players anly Wijnaldum started the game with the other 2, Mitrovic and Mbemba both comin' on in the 60th minute of the contest

THE TOON (IN WOR NEW WHITE AWAY STRIP?) ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL 

Both Wijnaldum and Williamson went close in the forst half to scorin' at The Leazes End but the teams went in level at half time in yet anothaa below par display from 'us'

A'd taken mee 5 year old grandson Jamie to the match and he'd asked for a hot dog at the interval! There waz anly one food kiosk open however and the queues were massive and by the time we got to the front Jamie had spotted some chocolate buttons on display and said he wanted them instead, plus a smaall bottle of coke az he waz thorsty!
At nearly FIVE QUID! for the 2 items they must have been the most expensive 'buttons' in toon <(taalk aboot gettin' your eyes taken oot!)  We'd waited so lang in the queue that we actually missed the start of the 2nd half az well!<(not that we'd missed much anyway!)

JAMIE CHECKS THE TEAM LINE UP ON THE BACK OF
THE MATCH PROGRAMME

Az Jamie munched his 'chocky' buttons wor Jawman 'Munchin'gladbach'  visitors also started 'munchin' us' and from a howler from Rolando Aaarons, who lost possession, Steve Taylor had time to clear the baall, but it fell to Borussia's Thorgan Hazard who sidefooted the baall into the net to score wot waz to be the anly goal of the game at the mid-point of the half!

"Jamie!"--aa said "The Baddies' have scored!"


2nd HALF ACTION @ THE GALLOWGATE END
"SWITCH PLAY TO THE LEFT!" JAMIE SHOUTS!


There were chances for Sissoko and new boy Mitrovic (who had came on az a sub with Mbemba just before the goal) who both hit the woodwork near the end @ The Gallowgate End, but az bad luck would have it the baall rebounded back into play both times and NOT the back of the net!
A draw would have been a much fairer result!

Throughout the game Jamie kept askin' me "Have Newcasil scored yet granddad?" and I repeatedly had to tell him "NO 'The Goodies' hadn't!"

However he told me at the end of the game that he HAD enjoyed himself, which iz more than can be said for the rest of the 21,000 plus crowd who torned up! ("Er!" apart from the 150 Jawman diehards who had torned up!)

Full time: 'The Goodies'  0    'The Baddies'  1 !

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat (Mbemba 60), Williamson, Taylor, Haidera, Anita (De Jong 75), Colback, Sissoko (Perez 81), Wijnaldum, Obertan (Aarons 60) , Cisse (Mitrovic 60)

Attendance: 21,088 (150 Jawman's plus a handful of Scousers in the visitors end who were old friends with Borussia fans!) *

THE PRE MATCH 'GARGELS' TOOK PLACE IN 'THE PITT 'BEER' BAR'
AZ JAMIE GETS STUCK IN TO HIZ 'ORANGE BEER'!

 

    



POST MATCH---MORRIS DANCERS INVADE 'TILLYS BAR'!