Friday, 1 January 2016

THE ARSE v THE TOON **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Updated 'high noon bells' News Years Day 2015


"BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP! ---HAVE YOO ANY WOOL!?"


"Lets stop 'bleating' aboot the bush!"

The new year iz nearly upon us and aalready 'The Wally withoot the Brolly' haz muttered these 'immortal words' "We feel as if we are getting there after a tough start!" and haz banished aall thoughts of wor disastrous 2015 campaign!---- with just SEVEN wins in THORTY EIGHT games---wor worst in livin' memory!
Ubeleeevableee!,he went on to say: "I'm quite a realist!---I do know what is happening and I try not to pull the wool over too many people's eyes!" <('Geordie Times' comment: "Baa baa black sheep!---have yoo any wool?--yes sir!---yes sir!---three bags full!")

Wot does he think iz gannih happen---like?---He waves a magic wand and aall of a sudden aall wor players suddenly become world beaters?? <(or shud that be 'world BLEATERS'!? (sic!)
Wot we need iz frantic activity in the January window or else we fear the very worst iz boond to happen!  ie: the dreaded 'R' word!

And wot did Steve says aboot any forthcomin' transfors: 'ABSOLUTLEEE NOTHING'!
Correction!: We have since foond oot that he said: "We will see!"



Othaa 'goggledy gook' he came oot with, included: "I am not worried!--- Believe me, under the surface I am paddling like mad, but we have a little bit more information than anybody else!---There are 19 games to go!---You try to make sure with 10 games to go you are in a good position!---and with 5 games to go you are in an even better position!"  <(Try and make sense of aall that!---if yoo can!?) ^

We face the dauntin' prospect of a visit to The Emirates in 1 days time and of course 'The Arse' are now top of the Xmas tree, az we sit precariously on the 3rd bottom branch!
We disgracefully took an allocation of just 2,000 tickets, which (az you'd expect!) sold oot aalmost immediately!  (Bournemooth took TWICE that number last week!) and we are 'stuck in the corner' yet again!
We could easily have sold more for behind the goal, but declined because NUFC can't be bothered with the hassle of sellin' any more, az they make ne money whatsoever from away ticket sales!

To keep in with 'the festive spirit' the British Transport Dibbles have BANNED alcohol on aall retorn jorneys after the match!
So if yoo want to drown your sorrows (or celebrate an unexpected victory!) yoo will have to de it with a bottle of 'Fanta' or 'Diet Coke' instead! <(unless! yoo sneak some whisky or vodka into a bottle  of 'the above'!)

Havin' conceded FOURTEEN goals in wor last 3 visits there, 'it doesn't look good' does it? for any kind of positive result---McClaren will no doubt try to 'put the shutters up' but a nil-nil draw looks the least possible outcome and with just ONE solitary goal in wor last 3 games it doesn't auger <(we naa aall the posh words!) well for us shud wor hosts score forst!
ie: 'The Wally withoot the Brolly' (az we've noted in the past!) doesn't seem to have a 'PLAN 'B'
Rookie goalie Karl Darlow iz expected to start again az Rob Elliot iz still sufferin' from some kind of virus and of course Tim Krul iz still on the injury list! <(Arsene Wenger must think its Xmas aall ower again!)

But yoo NEVER KNOW with 'wor lot' and the bookies will have a field day if we can upset the odds and get something!?

Anyway!---nevaa mind aall that======A Happy New Year to yoo aall <(hopefully!---but 'divvint coont your sheep'!)
"Bbaaaaaaaar!!!!"

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