Sunday, 22 November 2015

THE TOON 0 THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted '10:35am bells' Sunday 22nd November 2015

"EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY!"
SPOT THE CROWD! ---ROB ELLIOT PREPARES TO TAKE
A GOAL KICK IN THE 88th MINUTE

Where the hell do we start this time!?---Yet anothaa bitterly disappointin' performance on a bitterly cold day @ St James' Park and aall the talk and hype aboot us 'turnin' the corner' have come to nothin' once again, az just aroond that corner iz a trap door with 'CHAMPIONSHIP' written on it!
THE PLAYERS LINE UP IN THE CENTRE CIRCLE AZ
THE FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM IZ PLAYED
TO LOUD APPLAUSE FROM THE 50,000 CROWD! 

From the word 'go' Lestaa went for the win and pounded wor goal @ The Leazes End. They finally made the breakthrough deep into injury time in the forst half when Jamie Vardy equalled Ruud Van Nistelrooy's record of scorin' 10 games in a row, when he fired a shot into the corner of the net with Elliot beaten in The Toon goal (Van Nistelroy scored hiz 10th 'in a row' @ SJP az well!)

Just after he scored the ref blew for half time and Vardy waz greeted by polite applause from many Toon fans az he left the pitch!
Up until this point 'we' had had NO shots on target @ The Gallowgate End!

The 2nd half wasn't any better az Lestaa went for the 'jugular' and a free heeder from a completleee unmarked Ulloa made it 0-2 and 'game ower' in the 62nd minute az we STILL hadn't had a shot on goal up till this point!
The 3,000 strong 'Basil Brush Brigade' in level 7 of The Leazes were in good voice by this time: "Your s**t and you know you are!", they mocked---and we couldn't argue with them!---could we!?

And then in the 71st minute we finally had wor one and anly effort on target. Dummett's cross foond Thourvin in the Lestaa box, but hiz effort waz deflected ower for a corner. From the resultin' corner Wijnaldum's heeder waz stopped on the line by a combination of  Schmeichel  and Fuch! <(end of NUFC shots on target!)
A RARE NUFC ATTACK @ THE LEAZES END

The 3rd and final 'nail in wor coffin' came in the 83rd minute when Okazaki scrambled the baall ower the line to complete anothaa 'disaster day' for The Toon az the groond very quickly emptied!

SUMMARY:
The heighted security followin' on from the Paris massacre waz virtually non existent (just like wor defence, midfield and attack!) az we entered the groond!
One 'old biddy' aged aboot 75 behind me in the queue waz asked by a security steward if she minded if he looked inside hor handbag!
"No!" she said and then added: "There's some sweeties in there if you would like one!", but he declined and he simply looked into hor bag withoot searchin' it!
Anothaa fan in front of me who hadn't had hiz expensive 5p Asda carrier bag searched, offered it to the steward for a look inside, but he waz told that it waz "OK!" and waved past!

Alan Shearer aalso had hiz say on 'Match of the Day' and like we said at the top of the page, 'every picture tells a story'!

SHEARER'S SUMMARY!

Toon team: Elliot, Janmaat, Coloccini, Dummett, Mbemba, Sissoko, Anita, Tiote (Thaurvin 20), Wijnaldum, Perez (De Jong 81), Mitrovic (Cisse 62)

Attendance: 50,151 (includin' 3,220 very happy members of the 'Basil Brush Brigade' who now find themselz 'top o the leegue'!)

PS: By the end of the game there were anly 20,000 or so still in the home sections of the groond!

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