Sunday, 8 November 2015

BOURNEMOOOTH 0 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted 'high noon bells' remembrance Sunday 8th November 2015
THE TOON'S ANLY ATTACK IN THE 2nd HALF (white shirts)
THE CLOCK MENTIONED BELOW IZ IN THE CORNER!

"BEAT THE CLOCK!"

One of the most inept Toon performances we have ever witnessed happened yesterday on the south coast of Ing-er-land when somehow we managed to win an away game for the forst time in 10 months!

We were absolutleee pathetic! (apart from Rob Elliot in wor goal who had a blinder!) az Bournemoooth pounded wor goal in the forst period and it looked anly a matter of time before they scored az corner after corner waz defended chaotically by wor defence and saved by Rob time and time again!

"WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!"

The breakthrough came ---at the othaa end! when a 1-2-3 combination between Wijnaldum, Mitrovic and Perez resulted in Perez's weakish shot tricklin' ower the goal line to send the 1,362 diehards in the visitors enclosure into ecstasy az we celebrated wor SECOND away goal of the season!

That waz it!---after this it waz aall Bournemoooth az they tried desperately for an equaliser and somehow we managed to get to the half time interval still aheed!
1st HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON ATTACK? THE RIGHT HAND GOAL

Az mentioned, if it wasn't for 3rd choice keeper Rob Elliot in wor goal, we would have been beaten for sure az he made at least six forst class saves to save wor bacon! <(and he waz carryin' an injury!)

The 2nd half waz a case of 'beat the clock' az we again did nothing at aall and continued to give possession away time after time!

Again' Rob saved the day and it waz like the 'Alamo' at times az we somehow kept them at bay! 

We watched agonisingly az the clock in the corner ticked doon az the home side laid siege to wor goal and surely they would score at some point aa thought! <(I watched the clock more than the match in this half!)
I waz thankfully WRANG aboot them scorin' and after a ridiculous SIX minutes of stoppage time waz added by the ref, he finally blew for full time much to the relief of the players and fans alike!

Honestly!---this WAZ one of the worst ever Toon performances a'v ever seen, so to win it waz a surreal situation az we climbed oot of the relegation zone at last!

Bournemoooth had at least SIXTEEN corners durin' the game compared to wor ZERO count, plus wor ANLY shot on target waz wor goal, whereas they had dozens!

On the lang jorney back we stopped off in London toon for a few celebratory 'liquid lubrications' before eventually crossin' The High Level Bridge @ 'midneet bells'----a total jorney time of nineteen and a qwaataa hours and 720 miles! (We'd left on the 4:45 am bells train to gan doon!)

Toon team: Elliot*****, Janmaat, Mbemba, Coloccini, Dummett, Sissoko, Tiote, Anita (Mbabu 93), Wijnaldum, Mitrovic (Cisse 63), Perez (Thourvin 77)

Attendance: 11,155 (1,365 relieved Toon fans!) *
Bournemoooth's groond iz the 53rd Premyaa Leegue ground that The Toon have played on. ('The Geordie Times' have been to the lot!) We're not 100% sure but we think that this attendance iz the lowest ever for an NUFC Premyaa Leegue game!


The pre and post match gargels in Boscombe (where Bournemoooth play) took place in theeze two 'liquid lubrication locations'

  



And then it waz off to 'The Smoke'
CHESHIRE CHEESE, EMBANKMENT, LONDON

THE HOLE IN THE WALL, WATERLOO, LONDON


 


MYSTERY PUB (CANT REMEMBER NAME!) SOMEWHERE IN LONDON?
("HIC!")

Updated Tuesday:
WOT A DIFFERENCE A WIN MAKES!
 
The Geordie Times pageviews doubled yesterday from the previous week!---We can anly put this doon to wor fortuitous win @ Bournemoooth! ---KEEP THE FAITH!

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