Date of First Visit: 9th SEPTEMBER 1989
DEAN COURT, BOSCOMBE
A.F.C. BOURNEMOUTH 2
NEWCASTLE UNITED 1 (Quinn)
(OLD) DIVISION TWO---ATTENDANCE 9,882 (1,000 Toon fans) <(eventually!)
"YI'LL NEVER MAKE THE MATCH, SON!"
|THE BRIGHTON BEACH END!|
This was one of those trips that yih want tih forget in a hurry, but many years later aa can still remember it az though it was yesterday!.
Things did'nt start off well when the coach pulled up at the 'Central' at friday midneet.
Aall the lads had been on the 'hoy' aall neet and were canny sorved az they staggered from 'Yatesys' ower the road towards wor transport.
Yih could tell that the driver was'nt ower happy at the prospect of tekin wih on a 700 mile roond trip tih Bournemooth and things got off to a bad start when he telt one of the lads that he could'nt bring any cans on the bus!.
Ah had an 'eight pack' and protested to him that even though ah could 'drink a bit', even Aa could'nt shuvel eight pints of 'X' doon mee 'gregory' in thorty seconds flat!.
But it was nee good!---he was adament that nee drink would pass the front door of the bus!.
One lad threatened tih, "KNOCK HIS TEETH THAT FAR DOON HIS THROAT, THAT HE'D HAVE TIH STICK HIS HAND UP HIS ARSE TIH CLEAN THEM!".
Yih could see that his 'bottle' had went by nuw, and so he 'gave in' and let wih on with wor cans and drove off towards the Redheugh Bridge. (So far so good!)
However!---az he approached the 'Durham Ox' (aka: 'Heroes') he did a 'u-torn' and heeded up Clayton Street and made his way towards the TYNE Bridge.
THIS! torned oot tih be a 'fiendish plan' because az he approached Market Street 'Cop Shop' he soonded his horn to attract the attention of a 'Dibble' and a 'Dibblette' who were waalkin' by.
He opened the door and telt them nervously in a broad south Durham twang, "A WANT THEM OFF THE COACH---THEY'RE CAUSIN' TROUBLE!"
To cut a lang story short we were told by 'The Dibble' to 'get off', az the driver waz refusin' point blank to take us to Bournemooth---Aaall hell then broke loose when we realised we were gannin' 'ne where' and aall of a sudden a load more 'boys in blue' came oot of the 'Cop Shop' and we were forced to get off the bus!--or be arrested!
It torned oot to be the 'latter' az they decided to nick everybody on the bus (even though a'd done nowt wrang!--honestly!) and aa spent a night in the cells with aboot 40 others before bein' released at '7 bells' withoot charge!
"Yi'll never make the match, son!" a grinnin' officer said to me az he gave me my possessions back, alang with mee match ticket!
Aa waz determined to prove him wrang! ----So there waz nowt else for it!--- and aa ran alang Pilgrim Street and flagged a passin' taxi doon to take me yem, before jumpin' straight into mee 'jam jar' an' drivin' doon to the south coast at break-neck speed---on mee todd!
Hopefully aa wasn't 'ower the limit' or tooo late to make the kick off, but aa HAD to gan az a'd never been to Dean Court before and this would bee mee 90th ground watchin' The Toon!---and to hell with the petrol costs!
Aroond aboot '1:30 bells' aa arrived in Bournemooth where chaos had ensued on the roads, az there had been a forest fire in 'The New Forest' not far away
A'd made it!--despite the best efforts of wor mackem coach driver and 'The Dibble' to stop me---and az aa entered the groond aa couldn't help smilin' and thinkin' wot that 'Dibble' had said to me aboot 'Not makin' the kick off!' <(*'Harvey Smith style gestures' to both of yooo!) <(see below for explanation!)
The 'end' we were in waz bizzarly called 'The Brighton Beach End' az it had ne sand on it!--unlike Bournemooth beach--apparently! <(They hate Brighton in theeze parts!)
Mickey Quinn opened the scorin' for us after just 3 minutes but the home side came back and equalised before half time!-------------And then (az iz typical of NUFC!) disaster struck when Bournemooth scored a 2nd goal at the mid point of the 2nd half and we lost 2-1! <("Er!"--Wish a'd never made the match!)
10 minutes before the end of the game 2 coach loads of Toon fans from the supporters club had torned up!---They'd been delayed by that forest fire and they anly saw the dyin' embers of the game! (sic!)---After the match they were ushered straight back onto their coaches and driven straight back to the north east!--a roond trip of 720 miles to watch TEN minutes of futbaall!!!
Aa had some company on the way back az well, when a Toon fans known az 'Cappy' asked for a lift back to the Toon!---aa waz anly tooo happy to oblige and get a bit 'petrol money' off him to help with the costs on the lang haul yem!
(*Harvey Smith (below) waz a show jumper in the 1970s/80s and famously stuck two fingers up to some judges durin' a show jumpin' event!)