Sunday, 4 January 2015

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE X1 1 THE TOON X1 0 *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 4th January 2015
COLOCCINI SOUNDS THE BATTLE-CRY IN SATURDAY'S 'RONNY GILL'!
HE DIDN'T EVEN PLAY!???

"THE ABYSMALALITY OF IT AALL!"  

The thord of January!---Anothaa year!---anothaa FA Cup exit before February!---yet more blank weekends to fill in!--it just gans on! and on! and on! and on!

Despite promises to the 4,400 travellin' fans that we would put wor strongest possible team oot, 'Pieman' Carver left oot: Moussa Sissoko, Jack Colback, 'Fab' Coloccini, Daryl Janmaat AND Ayoze Perez from the startin' line up! <(Az predicted by 'The Geordie Times'---see article below!)

Basement club Lestaa aalso had a very weakened team and left 7 forst team players oot and predictably the game waz one of the worst we've ever witnessed!

The match officials were ne better and we had a porfectlee good goal scored by Remy Cabella ruled offside by a linesman, when telly replays later on clearly showed that he waz ON SIDE!

The anly goal that counted waz scored by the home side in the 40th minute when a heeder from Ulloa hit the underside of the bar and rebounded off the goal line and into the roof of the net!
THE TOON MAKE A RARE ATTACK DURIN' THE 2nd HALF

Basically that waz it! az both teams struggled badly in one of the most borin' games imaginable!

The Toon fans were in a 'no forgivin' mood' az they got 'stuck into 'The Fat Controller', with the usual:
"Get out of our club, yoo fat Cockney bustard!" song! <(don't think he would have been able to hear it in Barbados, mind!?) 

And "Whey aye the pie" Carver didn't escape eethaa with chants of: "Carver iz a 'Yes Man'!" in response to hiz unforgivable team selection <(we don't want any saleable player's 'Cup-tied' in the January transfor window!---do we, John/Mike/Lee!?)

But perhaps the most ominous chant waz: 
"We're sh*t and we're sick of it!"---which just aboot sums up the abysmalality <(if there iz such a word!) of it aall!

And!---The situation which just aboot summed up how much we wanted to be in the 4th roond draw, happened halfway through the 2nd half when Williamson hit a free kick near the halfway line BACK TO ALNWICK IN WOR GOAL!????? <(We were 'gobsmacked'!) <(The fans then snapped and vented their fury!)

News then filtered through that both Gatesheed (0-7!) and Blyth (2-3) had lost their cup ties az well!---A 'black day' indeed for Tyneside and beyond!

Ne domestic trophies now for SIXTY YEARS!---and coontin'!

Toon X1!: Alnwick, Santon (Satka 59), Williamson, Dummett, Haidera, Anita, Tiote, Vuckic (Roberts 79), Cabella, Armstrong, Riviere

Attendance: 23,212 (4,400 thoroughly p*ssed off Toon fans!) *

The pre and post match gargels took place here!
BAR NEXT TO SHEFFIELD STATION  (We had to change trains here!)  

THE REGENT CLUB, LEICESTER

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