Sunday, 7 December 2014

THE TOON 2 THE CHELSKI OAPS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '10:50am bells' Sunday 7th December 2014

"IT'S A LOAD OF BAALLS!, MOANRINHO!"
THE TOON KICK OFF!
(The North Sea iz on the horizon 8 miles away!)

We said yesterday that we would like to wipe the 'non smile' of Jose Mourinho's face and that's exactly wot we did az we ended 'The Invincibles' unbeaten run! <(he actually 'smiled' at the end of the match!)

Chelski started off the better of the two sides and had several chances to tek the lead az they attacked 'The Gallowgate End' orly on!
Jack Colback had the best chance for us a little later on when hiz shot waz blocked on the line and the teams went in' aall square' at half time!
THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END (1st half)

"PAPISS TAKIN' THE P*SS!"

Both sides had chances to score orly in the 2nd period and the deadlock waz finally broken by 'super-sub' Papiss Cisse in the 57th minute when he latched onto a Sammy Ameobi pass to score from just 3 yards oot to send the crowd into raptures!

(A'd said to 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' who sits next to me, that we had ne chance of beatin' them and just THREE seconds later Cisse scored!)

Cisse's 2nd came in the 78th minute when a cross from Sissoko foond hiz feet and he gleefully exepted hiz chance to bury the baall in the back of the net @ 'The Gallowgate End'
12mins to gan!---surely we'd won the game!?
THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END
(View from The Milburn Stand balcony)

But this iz NUFC! so we tried to 'push the self destruct button' when Steve Taylor needlessly got a 2nd yellow card and iz sent off in the 82nd minute. From the resultin' Chelski free kick, they score through a Drogba heeder to set the game on a knife edge!

Drogba then tried to bully Cisse into restartin' the game quickly, with wor centre forward hero havin' 'none of it' az he waved hiz arms in anger at him!
I then dropped a 'major bollock' by shoutin' praise for a great save from Rob Elliot in The Toon goal!
I then got a glarin' look from the 'old doll' who sits in front of me and she told me in no uncertain terms that it waz JAK ALWICK in wor goal and that he had replaced Elliot at half time (who had picked up an injury from a goal kick!) "HELP!"

Somehow we managed to get to the 90 minute mark when the 4th official put up SIX minutes of  'Fergie time' on hiz board, which brought howls of derision from The Toon faithful!

SEVEN? minutes of torture followed <(the ref foond anothaa minute from somewhere?) before he finally blew for full time az the roof lifted off St James'!
Chelski's unbeaten run from the start of the season waz ower---we have now beaten them THREE years in a row at home!
Who's 'invincible'?

P45DEW <(we still resorve wor judgement on him til Xmas!) said we had just beaten the best team in Europe and Moanrinho blamed the baall boys for hiz sides defeat?, az he claimed they hadn' given the baall back quick enough went it went oot of play!
UTTER TOSH! if yoo ask me and sour grapes for yoo, Jose!

We move up to 7th place in the table, just 2 points behind Man U in 4th!

"Arsenal!-Arsenal! here we come!" <(wor next game, next Saturday in London!)

Toon team: Elliot (Alwick 46) <(didn't notice he'd came on!)
Janmaat, Steve Taylor, Coloccini, Dummett, Tiote, Colback, Sissoko, Cabella (Cisse 53), Sammy Ameobi (Williamson 83), Perez

Attendance: 52,019 (3,200 'Invincible' followers!)

And finally!  Can we just wish Gatesheed the best of luck in their FA Cup tie against Warrington which kicks off @ 'high noon bells' today and iz live on BT Sports!  <(If they get through lets hope (and pray!) we divvint draw them or Blyth in the 3rd roond draw on Monday!)>>>>>>>>>>>>

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