Saturday, 27 December 2014

THE MANC MUPPETS 3 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '10:21am bells' Saturday 27th December 2014

"TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED!"  <("We anly lost 3-1 !")
PAPPIS CISSE SCORES FROM THE SPOT @ 'THE THEATRE OF MUPPETS'!

Wor last away game of 2014 ended in a predictable defeat, although a 3-1 revorse waz better than we expected!

We said yesterday mornin' in 'The Geordie Times' that we feared that Rooney and co. would have their shootin' boots on and that's exactly wot happened az 'The Wigged Wonder from Mickeymouseland' scored two eazy goals, the forst that your great grandma could have knocked in with hor zimmer frame!

Some of the 3,000 Toon fans were in festive spirit az they chucked beer @ £4.50 a pint ower each othaa in the concourse before the game! <(They've got more money than brains in their empty heeds--me finx!)
Aa managed to avoid a soakin' by heedin' for 'shelter' in mee seat in row 21 of 'The East Stand' (formerly 'The Scoreboard End'!)

The Toon ran oot in an inexplicable grey strip (WHY?) when of course we wore wor famous black n white stripes in wor famous victory here the year before!
VIEW FROM ROW 21, SEAT 61, EAST STAND

In the 14th minute we had a penalty appeal waved away by the ref after Mata clips Gouffran in the box at the far Stretford End <(It waz hard to tell from where we were, if it was a pen or not?)

It waz soon 'backs to the waall' az Man U pounded wor goal and it waz a suprize that it took then az lang az the 22nd minute to take the lead az heavy rain lashed doon!
Mata foond Falcao and hiz precision pass foond an unmarked Rooney who had the simple task of sidefootin' the baall into wor net ---(tooo eazy!)

Their lead waz soon doubled just 13 minutes later when Falcao again foond Rooney and he excepted hiz chance to finish well!
CRICKET GROOND

We'd been to a boozer next to Old Trafford Cricket Groond before the game and a 'cricket score' at it's 'namesake' now looked on the cards!
However!---there waz ne more scorin' til half time and we trooped off the pitch, lookin' resigned to defeat aalready!

THE TOON ATTACK THE STRETFORD END (1st half)

It took the home side just 7 minutes in the 2nd period to increase their lead when 'The Wigged Wonder' lofts the baall ower wor defence to find the heed on Van Persie who (unmarked) heeded past a helpless Jak Alnwick in The Toon goal @ 'The Stretford End'!
With nearly 40 minutes left on the clock it didn't look tooo good for us, but 'The Mancs' took their foot off the gas on the field az 70,000 'Muppets' in the crowd cheered half heartedly! <(there were thoosands of Man U 'tourists' in 'The Theatre of Muppets', wearin' their new gear from the club shop and many had those awful 'half and half' scarves on!)

Anyway!--- there WAZ anothaa goal!---from US! <(horray!) when in the 85th minute Jack Colback waz fouled in the box by Jones and Cisse made ne misstayk from the spot, az he fired the baall into the top corner of the net to give the 3,000 Toon faithful at least sommik to cheer!

THE TOP OF 'THE PENNINES' ON THE M62
(View from 'Biffa the Beer's jam jar!) 
That's the way it ended and we heeded back to wor car which waz parked near the groond and after a near 4 hour drive back through rain, fog and blizzard conditions on the M62 we arrived back on Tyneside, thankful that, indeed, it wasn't a 'cricket score' in the end!

Toon team: Alnwick, Janmaat, Coloccini, Steve Taylor, Dummett (Cabella 63), Colback, Anita, Sissoko, Perez (Vuckic 82), Gouffran, Armstrong (Cisse 63)

Attendance: 75,318 (72,318 'Theatre of Muppeteers', 3,000 Toon fans!)   *

THE PRE MATCH 'GARGELS' TOOK PLACE HERE!
A PLAQUE TO MUNICH AIR CRASH VICTIM TOMMY TAYLOR
HE LIVED IN THIS HOOSE OWER THE ROAD FROM THE CRICKET GROOND

FOOTBAALL TOURISTS & 'THE THEATRE OF MUPPETS'---AN EXPLANATION!

Man U are without doubt the most tourist riven club in the world!
The sight of 100's of bemused oriental ladies and gentlemen (some wearin' face masks!) heedin' for the tornstiles with their bags of souvenirs from the club shop and wearin' half and half Manc/Toon scarves waz a sight to behold!

Of course there are many others from other parts of planet Orth az well, just like the Orient <(NOT Leyton!) who claim to follow them, from Dublin to Dubai!---and of course!, London to Lahore! 
Stalls ootside the groond sellin' anythin' from hot dogs to tacky team photos (and of course!) half and half scarves were everywhere and they reminded me of the Sunday market on Newcastle quayside!
Scarf sellers in particular were in abundance on the pavements ootside the tornstiles sellin' their wares to gazing 'tourists', eager to snap up a bargain!? <(NOT!) az they took photos of everything and anything that moved!

Inside the groond yoo could see that they just didn't naa wot to de when Rooney scored---shud they wave their half Toon scarves?---or clap?---or cheer!?---"Welcome to 'The Theatre of Muppets!"
  

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