"DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET!"----"NORMAL SERVICE RESUMED!"
A disastrous day in "eest Landan" ended wor winnin' streak of 6 games when 'Fat Sam's Jellied Eels' won the game with a very fortuitous goal indeed!
The day started off @ 'The Central' @ '7 bells' where a squad of 'Dibbles' 'greeted us'? az we attempted to gan through the ticket barrier to get onto the 'DRY' train.
One of wor company had brung a bottle of champagne and some wine glasses and waz forced to drink it on the station concourse and he handed aall of us a glass of the fizzy stuff just before we departed! <(honest!---I kid yoo not!)---and then it waz time to get the '7:20 bells' train to King's Cross
"Any alchohol?", one 'Dibble' asked me and I replied "NO!" just a bottle of diluted orange!"
He refused to beleeeve me and checked by bag which aalso contained some beef sarnies and 2 bags of crisps! (It WAS anly orange az well--with nothin' 'added'!)
We were soon in London and caught the tube to East Ham where we heeded for wor 'local' doon here, which waz 'The Overdraft Tavern' next to the tube station!
Several liquid lubrications later and it waz time to heed for the groond which iz 20 minutes waalk from there through a park to the away end!
Some more searches by the local 'Dibble' before we went in took place in what waz deemed a 'high risk' game for 'bovver'!
Anyway!---we simply didn't get oot of the blocks az we attacked the 'Bobby Moore Stand' at the othaa end of the groond in the forst half and a cannit recall ONE shot on target from us in the entire half <(pleeeze correct me if a'm wrang!?)
The 2nd half torned oot to be a disaster az we had Sissoko sent off for 2 bookable offences and Jack Colback aalso booked meanin' that under the toppin' up procedure, <(we naa aall the big words!) he misses wor next game against Bornley on Tuesday neet az well!
Just when it looked az though the game would 'peetaa oot' into a goal-less draw a wicked deflection from a shot from a West Ham player foond the feet of Cressweell and he gleefully took hiz chance to toe poke the baall past Rob Elliot in The Toon goal.
Sissoko's sendin' off followed and with ne shots again on target in the 2nd period from us , 'The Jellied Eels Mob' took the 3 points and dented wor unbeaten run!---(we dropped from 5th to 9th in the table!)
After the match it waz back to 'The Overdraft' after dodgin' some 'Dibbles' who refused to let us gan back through the park---so we simply waalked a hundred yards up the road and went through anothaa gate to avoid them! <(ne need for this kind of hassle!)
It waz then onward to 'Farringdon' near King's Cross for the final liquid refresments before catchin' the 'DRY' train back to The Toon!
The Transport Dibbles were oot in force again at the station, searchin' everybody's bags for the dreaded 'alcohol'!
< Some of wor younger fans reeely 'took the P*SS' by offerin' the Dibbles some of their glasses of 'coke' to drink on the train!---which waz heavily laced with VODKA they had smuggled on and mixed in!
"Yi COULDN'T make it up!"
Toon team: Elliot, Janmaat (Steve Taylor 74), Heidara, Williamson, Dummett, Colback, Tiote (Cisse 63), Gouffran (Cabella 63), Sissoko, Sammy Ameobi, Perez
Attendance: 34,977 (3,000 Toon fans in 'The Clever Trevor (Brooking) Stand'!)
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