NUFC NEW MD

Posted '2:03pm bells' Tuesday 8th April 2014

'THE FAT CONTROLLER'S' WALLET! 

News that we have a new MD haz shocked the futbaall world!
Lee Charnley? iz hiz name and he takes ower from 'Llambs to the Slaughter' who resigned last Joon in the wake of JoeK in Your Ears' appointment az 'Director of Fools'!

Az we aall naa, we need at least SIX new player to survive in the Premyaa Leegue next season and Charnley haz issued this rathaa worryin' statement!

"Our immediate priority of course iz to finish this season as strongly as possible!" (last 3 results 0-3,0-4,0-4!)

"Our minimum target is a top TEN finish!" <(WOW! we are NINTH at the mo!---just!)

"Looking ahead to future seasons our primary focus will be (survival in) the Premier League!" <(so forget aboot 'the cups' and Europe!)

"We will continue to operate in a financially stringent manner and live within our means and we will continue to be prudent in our transfer dealings!" <(on loan players and free transfors!)

"We don't look at the transfer windows in isolation, but rather as a full trading year!" <(whatever that's supposed to mean?)

"Our average attendance for League games so far this season is more than 50,000, making us the THIRD best supported club in England!" <(so why? oh why?? can we NOT compete with the top SEVEN teams in 'The Premyaa'?????????????????)

"Our intention for the first team is to sign ONE or TWO players PER YEAR to strengthen the squad!" <(SEE WOT WE THINK ABOVE!)

We may well be roaring with laughter at the mackems at the moment, at their current predicament!---but divvint laugh tooo lang!, az withoot major surgery to wor team, we could well be joinin' them in 'The Championship' the season after next! <(DIVVINT SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOO!)