Sunday, 2 March 2014

BROKEN NOSE BRUCE'S TIGER LILLYS 1 THE TOON 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE *** 2013-2014

Updated '10:55am bells' Sunday 2nd March 2014

"BURN HIM ALIVE AT THE STAKE!"
SAVAGE JUSTICE FOR PARDEW!

There were no 'ifs' or 'butts' aboot this game az 'The Toon' were the better side throughout, 'butt' the main taalkin' point waz off the pitch when wor manager heed butted ex mackem player David Meyler who had unceremoniously pushed past Pardew to retrieve the baall!
Pardew didn't take to kindly to this and gave the ex mackem a 'Rab C. Nesbitt style' 'Glasgow kiss' for hiz 'disrespect', which resulted in a melee in the dugout area where Pardew waz sent to the stands by the ref! (We didn't see the incident from wor seats and didn't naa wot aall the fuss waz aboot?) <(til later!)
THE TOON (IN BRAZIL YELLOW) ATTACK THE FAR GOAL
DURIN' THE 1st HALF
(VIEW FROM ROW 'S' SEAT '138' IN THE NORTH STAND)

The sequence of events were az follows: (on the pitch!)

1st half:
9th minute: Tim Krul makes a Magnificent double save from Bruce and Jelavic to deny the 'Tiger Lillys'

10th minute: The Toon make the 1st breakthrough when the baall iz punted upfield from Krul's wonder saves and finds Debuchy on the right. He crosses to 'The Sissoko Kid' who blasts the baall into the net from 16 yards oot!

42nd minute: Loic Remy doubles wor lead when a horrendous back pass by Hull's Figueroa finds wor top goal scorer and he haz the simple task of side steppin' their keeper to put the baall into the empty net!

2nd half:
46th minute: Hull half wor lead just after the restart when Tim Krul misjudges the flight of the baall and it finds the heed of Davies who heeds home!

55th minute: Wor 2 goal margin iz restored, when, after a great Gouffran shot, the baall finds 'The Sissoko Kid' and he gleefully excepts hiz chance to 'tap in' in front of the Toon faithful!

'THE SISSOKO KID' CELEBRATES HIS 2nd GOAL
IN FRONT OF THE TOON FANS!

72nd minute: It aall gans to Pardews heed when he 'sticks a one' on ex mackem Meyler after the Hull man shoves wor manager oot of the way to get the baall!---aall hell then breaks oot az 'Pards' iz sent off and Meyler iz booked! <(he shud have went 'the distance' az well!)

93rd minute:
Anita sows the game up with a simple chance at the far post from a Dummett cross to score hiz 1st ever Premyaa goal for The Toon!

On the way yem, that innocuous 'Radio 5s'  'p*ss brain' known az Robbie Savage iz 'judge and jury' on Pardew and gans on and on (and on!) aboot how wor manager shud by (very!) severely punished for hiz 'disgraceful'? heed butt!--- ("Burn him at the stake, perhaps, Robbie"???) <(there waz absolutleee NE MENTION, by the way, of wor magnificent 4-1 win!?)

*(PS: we've since seen the replay on the telly---"Howway maan!---it wasn't THAT BAD!?")
To put it into context: Last week there waz an ice hockey game on the telly where one player started lacing into anothaa with hiz hockey stick and fists, hittin' him several times in the process az hiz opponent collapsed poleaxed onto the ice!
And hiz 'punishment'?---TEN MINUTES in the sin bin! 

Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Williamson, Yanga, Dummett, Anita, Tiote, Sissoko, Gouffran, Remy, De Jong (Gosling 89)

Attendance: 24,903 (2,500 'heedbangin' Toon fans!)

'GeordieTimes' STATSFACTS: This waz wor forst ever competitive victory @ 'The KC'----
This waz wor 100th away win in 'The Premyaa'!


THE PRE MATCH 'GARGELS' TOOK PLACE HERE!
(15 MINS WAALK FROM THE GROOND)


WILD ANIMALS ROAM THE BAR
AZ WE SIT PETRIFIED IN THE CORNER!
(OR SHUD THAT REEED 'PIE' EYED!?)







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