Tuesday, 4 February 2014

"SENSATION!" *** "CLOWN PR*CK OF SOCCER RESIGNS!!" *** ("GET THE KEBABS IN!!!")

Posted '2:20pm bells' Tuesday 4th February 2014
NUFCs NEW DIRECTOR OF FUTBAALL***PERHAPS???
("DIVVINT BET AGAINST IT!")

News that 'JoeKanory' 'The Clown Pr*ck of Soccer' resigned at '11:01 bells' last neet from hiz post az 'Director of Fools' haz rocked the futbaall world!
Hiz transfor dealins in the two 'windows' he waz in charge, iz nothin' short of remarkable, spendin' nowt at aall and gettin' ower £20 million for a kebab which waz brilliant business for 'The Fat Controller'!

A number of candidates have been put forward for the vacant job, includin' 'Krusty the Clown' off 'The Simpsons', 'Benny from Crossroads' and Tory MP Anne Widdecombe, who tells us that she haz never seen a futbaall match in hor life!---not even on the telly!

This makes hor red hot favourite for the job and 'Ladbrokes' have instaaled hor at 2/1 'on' for the lucrative vacancy!

"I am sure I can do just a good a job as 'JoeK' in the transfer market!", she is reported to have said and we hear that she will resign 'forthwith' from hor Parliamentary position az Maidstone's MP, shud she be offered the job by 'The Fat Controller'!

'Geordie Times' comment: "The NUFC Madhoose' may az well appoint hor!---she couldn't possibly de any worse than 'JoeKanory'!---could she???" 

More to follow on aall this later!---much later! after av had a few 'liquid lubrications' to calm doon!

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