Monday, 28 October 2013

SMBs 2 THE TOON 1 *** "SEVEN HOURS OF TORTURE!"

Posted '11:13am bells' Monday 28th October 2013
"DEFINATLY NOT! THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR!"

The day started off @ '9 am bells' in The William X1 boozer (of aall places!) on Gatesheed High Street, where a couple of the lads were gannin' for the forst 'gargels'!
The side street next to 'The William' of course iz where Geordie Ridley waz born, the composer of the Geordie National anthem 'The Blaydon Races' and a few pints were consumed there before heedin' 'ower the waataa' to The 3 Bulls which waz heeevin' and then onward to The Newcastle Arms for the final 'liquid refreshments' before boardin' the 'torture chamber busses' to the SOS.

Aa say 'torture chamber' coz it takes so lang to get doon there (normally ower an hour) for the 13 miles jorney between the 2 groonds, escorted by many blue sirens and a helicopter!

We'd left the bar @  the ridiculous time of 10:30 bells to catch the busses for the 1:30 kick off some 3 hours later!
We eventually arrived at the SOS to be greeted by the usual 'sad half a sheeps brains' who were assembled to give us 'V' signs etc. (one even wore a horses heed!) and we were escorted like cattle to the tornstiles by aboot 200 'dibbles'!

Once inside, many Toon fans heeded for the bars which were sorvin' watered doon beer! A disgraceful state of affairs if yoo ask me and they shud 'hang their heads in shame', those who did buy 'the mackem demon drink'! (Aa refuse 'point blank' to buy anything here (az usual!) and stood for ower an hour, 'alcohol free', dyin' of thirst!)

It waz then time to heed for mee 'standin' place' reet behind the goal in 'row 8' of the upper tier!
Block of red and pink? empty seats could be seen dotted around the groond az the SMBs couldn't sell aall their tickets!

And then the real torture began!---With just five minutes gone the home side went in front from a corner when Fletcher heeded in at the far end from us!

Despite havin' most of the play we couldn't find a way back and we had fower free kicks from 35 yards oot from Cabaye and Ben Arfa but their efforts from that distance were in vain az they they were just too far oot to score and the free kicks ended up in the crowd!

We lacked pride and passion and we couldn't even put two passes together at times in wot waz a shockin' forst half display from us! 

And then at last!--a comeback in the 2nd half ,when in the 57th minute, Mathieu Debuchy fired home after runnin' roond the mackem defence to put us level!--- and there were wild celebrations in the away section with fans faallin' ower seats az they went 'ballistic'!

However wor 'joy' waz not to last az the game petered oot and with just six minutes to gan the ref oweruled the linesman to give advantage to the SMBs and the resultin' free kick foond Borini who fired home to compound wor 'torture'!
There waz ne way back for us now and we heeded back to the concourse where we were held back for an hour before boardin' the bussues once again for the snail pace 'torturous' one hour (plus!)jorney back to Tyneside! <(via Westerhope!) (That's an average speed of less than13 MPH! by the way!)

We eventually arrived back @ The Newcastle Arms @ '5:30 bells' (more than TWO hours after the final whistle!) which waz some SEVEN HOURS after we left there to gan doon!

That's!---SEVEN HOURS to see this cr*p 90 minute match and de the 26 mile roond trip!---"Welcome to the torture chamber!"

Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Santon, Cabaye, Williamson, Dummett, Sissoko (Cisse 46) , Tiote, Ben Arfa, Gouffran (Sammy Ameobi 70), Remy (Shola Ameobi 70)

Attendance: 46,313 (more than 2,500 below capacity!) (2,800 tortured Toon fans!) <(they wouldn't give us any more tickets!)

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