Sunday, 25 August 2013

THE TOON 0 THE JELLIED EELS MOB 0 ***** "JUST LIKE MY DREAMS ***** THEY FADE AND DIE!"

Updated '10:46pm bells' Sunday 25th August 2013


"DARK CLOUDS DESCEND OWER ST JAMES'!"
"IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!"

'Judgement day one' (az Pardew caalls it!) started off with a goal-less draw against 'Fat Sam's 'Jellied Eels Mob' from "eest Landan!" and anly ONE shot waz on target from eetha team in the entire 90 minutes! (and NOT from us!)

A crowd approachin' 50,000 were assembled to watch these two poor teams and apart from an orly chance for us @ The Leazes End when the visitors nearly scored an own goal, we were 2nd best to them for most of the game!


Shola partnered Cisse up front but neethaa got the service they craved and it waz the visitors who shud have won it with 3 good chances which they 'fluffed', notably former Toon player Kevin Nolan, who, unmarked, heeded ower the bar @ The Leazes End in the 2nd half, when it looked easier to score! <(he got a canny reception from The Toon fans at the start!---mebeez he felt guilty and missed it on purpose?)

Az if the wethaa 'knew it', black clouds and heavy rain desended ower the groond and  West Ham sub Morrison even came on wearin' a PAIR OF GLOVES! <(in AUGUST!) < (wot wud John McNamee make of that!?)
"THEY'RE DEFINATELY NOT BOXIN' GLOVES!"

Then!---at 'the death' Sammy Ameobi sent ower a cross which rebounded off the stanchion of the goal and fell nicey for Gouffran, who had the easy chance of side footin' the baall into the net, BUT! instead chose to hoist the baall ower the bar and into The Gallowgate End, where the faithful held their heads in their hands in despair!  NIL-NIL final score!

We now havvent scored in the last fower Premyaa Leegue games @ St James', gannin back to last season and wor failins are blindingleee obvious to aall who were present!

'The Jellied Eels Mob' (above!) have a club song caalled 'Bubbles' and one line gans: "Just like my dreams they fade and die!"----Surely this shud be WOR song az a major trophy iz sommik we definitely WON'T win under the leadership of 'I Beg Your Pardew', 'JoeKanory' (see below!) and 'The Fat Controller'!

Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Santon, Anita, Coloccini, Yanga, Sissoko, Marveaux (Sammy Ameobi 66), Cisse (Gouffran 72. Shola Ameobi, Ben Arfa

Attendance: 49,622 (2,500 Jellied Eels!)

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