Ground number 299
Date of First Visit: April Fools Day 2013
Clayton Wood Training Ground, Stoke-on Trent
Stoke City U21 Reserves 1
Newcastle United U21 Reserves 2 (Richardson, Mayo)
Barclays U21 Premier League (group 2)
Attendance: 5 inside the groond! (includin' 3 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!) 22 ootside the groond (plus 3 doggies!)
"WE'VE GOT MORE FANS THAN YOO!"
|"SPOT THE TREES!"***|
THE TOON ATTACK 'THE 100 TREES END'!
We set off @ '8 bells' from 'The Central' in mee 'canny tranny' for this behind closed doors resorve game @ Stoke's trainin' groond in the hope of gettin' in by means we cannit disclose!<(or we'll blow wor cover!)
The three 'saddos' bein' 'The Bear from Whitley Bay', 'Glennn from Ashington' and meesel, who waz drivin'!
On arrival in Stoke @11:30 bells' and with more than two hours to kick off, we decided to heed for the nearest place we could get a drink, which waz!---McDONALDS! a few hundred yards up the main road from the trainin' groond, where three large 'coffees' were consumed by us! <(we're gettin' 'soft' in wor old age!)
We then norvouslee heeded for the trainin' groond @ '1:00 bells', an hour before the kick off and were telt by two stewards that Stoke's forst team were trainin' and therefore they WOULDN'T let us in until wor IDs had been thoroughly checked!
And just like 'April Fools' we were then telt to park wor 'canny tranny' and wait in the car park to see if they would let us in!
An anxious forty minutes then followed before we plucked up the courage to gan to the gate and try and get in by huff or bluff!
The stewards were very friendly and one even offered us some 'Mentoes mints', which we took, and aa promptly spilt half of them on the tarmac az aa try to prize them from the packet!
After a bit 'chin wag' and a 'grovellin' apology' from 'yours truelee' for spillin' hiz 'Mentoes', the gadgie on the othaa end of the stewards 'walkie talkie' telt them to "LET US IN!", and we didn't need much persuasion to gan through the gate az they opened it for us!
We'd DONE IT!<(by fair means or foul!) and promptly took up wor places on the far side of the away dugoots and aa shook hands with Peter Beardsley az he waalked past!
It waz freeezin' cold and it had snowed a little bit orlier on, but the sky waz clear az the match kicked off!
Lookin' aroond--and apart from players and kit men in tracksuits, we could see anly two more 'fans' apart from us actually inside the groond, who were wearin' Stoke colours!
Anothaa 22, plus 3 doggies, were ootside the perimiter fence and therefore not technically a part of the 'crowd'<(The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers 'rule 27b' clearly states that yoo must be INSIDE the groond to include it in your groundhoppin' records!)
(This meant that WE actually had MORE fans INSIDE the groond than THEM!) three of
to the two of 'THEM'!)
A huge number of taall trees to the right of where we were standin', lined the grass bank behind that goal and stretched az far az 'the eye could see' and to the left, buildin' work waz in progress behind the othaa goal
'The Toon' started off the more brightly az we kicked towards!---wait for it!---'The 100 Trees End' and Amalfitano hit the woodwork within 5 minutes!
We then took the lead just fower minutes later when Alex Gilliead foond Micheal Richardson in the box and he struck a fine shot past Bachmann in 'The P*ss Potts' goal!
That's the way it stayed til half time and the steward who had gave us the 'Mentoe mints', came doon with a tray of hot coffees, which he gave to us on the touchline!--A very nice gesture, which we aall greatly appreciated in the inclemite conditions!<(thanx mate!)
We were by far the better team and doubled wor lead @ ---'The Buildin' Site End' when Yven Mayo<(spelt 'MOMO' on the teamsheet!) waz put through and hiz deflected shot from 12 yards oot went straight past their keeper and into the Stoke net!
|2nd HALF ACTION***THE STOKE GOALIE TIPS |
OWER A FINE EFFORT FROM MICHEAL RICHARDSON!"
The home side pulled one back with just fower minutes to gan when Jaden Hall stabbed the baall in from close range.
An anxious last few minutes then ensued with 'The P*ss Potts' gannin close just before 'the death', but we held on to take the 3 points and gan yem happy, arrivin' back @ 'The Central' @ '7:30 bells'!
"Just ONE more groond to gan to reach 'the holy grail'!"