Sunday, 3 March 2013

THE SWAN LAKERS 1 THE TOON 0

Updated 'high noon bells' Sunday 3rd March 2013

"A BRIDGE TOOO FAR!"
THE TOON (in maroon!) ATTACK THE SWANZEE
GOAL DURIN' THE 2nd HALF (view from row V)

The trip started off @ St James' where the coach left @ '5:10 am bells' and some EIGHT HOURS later @ 1:15pm bells' we eventually arrived, exausted @ The Liberty Stadium after two motorway services stops on the way! (plus the driver gannin the lang way roond via the Severn Bridge instead of the 'M50', which iz much quicker?)<(the daft t**t had to 'cough up' £18 to get across!)

"WOT THE F**K ARE WE DEEIN' HERE?"

Anyway!---it waz a mad dash to one of the nearest boozers to the groond which waz caalled 'Coopers' and several pints of 'liquid lubrication' were 'swiftly dispatched' doon wor 'John o Groats'!<(see glossary of terms!)

It waz then off to the match where 1,000 Toon fans were present in the visitors section<(they wouldn't give us any more tickets!)

Swanzee started off the better and had a few chances to score in the forst period, where az The Toon, playin' in their 'unlucky' aall purple strip<(have we ever won wearin' this?) hardly had any chances az we attacked the far goal and I, for one waz happy to 'gan in' at the break level!

We were much better in the 2nd half az we attacked the end we were in and good chances by Cisse, Gouffran, and 'The Sissoko Kid' were missed and Cabaye hit the bar!

We were made to pay for the rued chances with just fower minutes to gan when a defensive mix up gifted Swanzee's Moore an easy chance and he slotted the baall past the dispairin' Rob Elliot in The Toon goal to make the lang jorney back even worse!

In the coach park afta the match some Toon fans 'kicked off' and started hoyin' stuff ower the fence where the Swanzee fans were. One inebriated fan<(we naa aall the big words!) then scaled the eight foot fence and jumped into the car park on the otha side! He landed on a car and put a big dent in it's roof!
He then climbed back ower the fence, faallin' ower a wheelie bin in the process and scarpered away!

The local 'Dibble' then boarded wor coach and telt us in ne uncortain torms that we wouldn' t be leavin' until the 'culprit' waz caught!
20 minutes later they'd 'got their man' and he waz led away in handcuffs to face the consequences of hiz actions!
We eventually left the groond one hour after game had ended and arrived back on Tyneside<(via the Severn Bridge again!) @ 'midneet and fifty bells'! 


Toon team: Elliot, Debucy, Steve Taylor, Yanga, Santon, Gouffran, Cabaye, Sissoko, Tiote (Marveaux 90), Gutierrez (Sola Amiobi 90), Cisse

Attendance: 20,405 (1,000 p*ssed off Toon fans!)

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