|SOMEWHERE IN THE UKRAINE!|
"BEWARE OF METEORITES @ METALIST!"
Yesterday 'Shaz the Postie' delivered mee prized Metalist away ticket and in the envelope there waz a fower page 'travel advice' letter tellin' us the pitfaalls of Karkiv, like: "Do NOT take photographs in the vicinity of government or military establishments!" <(unless yoo want to end up in a salt mine in deepest Siberia that iz!)
"State medical facilities are generally poor!" <(so divvint take ill!---whatever yi de!)
"Be alert to the possibility of street crime and petty thefts and avoid walking alone at night in dark unlit streets as foreigners may appear to be lucrative targets!"<(ie: stay in your hotel, lock and barricade the door and miss the match!)
Wot iz NOT mentioned however! iz the danger of bein' hit by a meteorite or asteroid, az one fell from the sky last night and injured 500 people in nearby Rushaa!
So!-- keep a close eye on the sky when you're there (especially at night!) for any 'stray' lumps of rock the size of futbaall pitches!
"YOO HAVE BEEN WARNED!"