This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers
who follow the fortunes of the
team aroond the world
The ground totals include
competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games
only, in the last six decades***
(the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 333
500 estimated (includin’ quite a few Toon fans)
“AN UP HILL
STRUGGLE @ UNDERHILL!”
'THE TOON' ATTACK 'THE TUBE TRAIN TERRACE END'! (SPOT THE TUBE TRAIN!)
us set of @ ’11:00 am bells’ in mee ‘canny tranny’ from ‘The Black Bull’ in the
shadows of St James’ Park for this FA Youth Cup tie in norf Landan against ‘The
Arse’ who play their resorve games @ Underhill, the home of Barnet FC
arrived at ‘5:00 bells’ in good time for the ‘7 bells’ start and parked up in a
side street beside the groond where the floodlights were blazin’ away and made
wor way to the ‘Old Red Lion’ boozer, which was situated on the corner of the
main road within easy hocklin distance of the groond!
course there were a handful of ‘saddos’ there az well who had travelled doon
from Tyneside by various modes of transport and I won’t name and shame them for
fear of ridicule!
few ‘liquids’ in ‘The Lion’ (“ER!”--shandy for me, coz aa was drivin’!) we
heeded for the tornstiles where the princely sum of three quid waz required to
forst thing yi notice when yi enter the groond iz the massive slope on the
pitch from goal to goal and it’s ne wonder they want to move az the hotch potch
of bus shelter stands make this one of the worst leegue groonds that a’v ever been
te! (Barnet have been @ Underhill for 105 years and are due to move to a new groond
at the end of this season!)
"SPOT THE SLOPE!"
sits at the bottom of a hill (under-hill!) with tube trains arriving’ and departin’ from ‘New Barnet Tube Station’ every few
minutes, which waz just a couple of minutes waalk, up the hill behind the ‘uphill’ goal.
kicked off and an eccentric old biddy with an Arsenal hat and flag, who waz
sittin’ near the end of the main stand, started singin’ old futbaall songs by horself, at the
top of hor voice!
quite amusin’ at forst but after a while it started to get a bit irritatin’ az
she ranted on!
had started off well az we kicked ‘doon the hill’ and forward Alex Gilliead
shot into the side nettin’ in the fifth minute, but that’s az good az it got
from wor point of view az ‘The Arse’ went on the offensive from this point and
had several chances to take the lead az they kicked uphill towards (wait for
it!) ‘The Tube Train Terrace End’!
happened in the 22nd minute when Jeffrey drilled a shot past Woodman
in the Toon goal. Their lead waz doubled just before the break when a fine
dribble from Bellerin evaded wor defence and he slotted home.
AALL ‘UP HILL’ FROM HERE!”
second half waz ne better for us az we kicked up the hill and it waz anly on rare
occasions that we did venture near ‘The Tube Train Terrace End’ goal az the clock
counted doon the minutes!
kept the pressure up and by the mid point of the half we looked well beaten. It
waz obvious at this point that we were gannin to lose the match and ‘Blondie
Alan the Morris Dancer’ <(SH*T!---a’v named and shamed somebody!) waz cursin’
the fact that he’d booked on the midneet bus back from Victoria Coach Station instead
of the train, az he would have had to leave before the end if ‘extra time’ waz
needed to catch the last train yem!
final nail in wor ‘coffin’ came at ‘the death’ (excuse the pun!) when Akpom slotted
home past Woodman to put ‘The Arse’ three-nil up and win the game!
then a five hour drive back to Tyneside and we arrived back at qwaata to one in
the mornin’ with 550 miles on the clock for the roond trip!
it waz another road trip to Stoke to watch the forst team lose 2-1 and by the
time we got back from this one, a total of nearleee a THOOSAND MILES had been clocked up
in two days!