Monday, 22 October 2012

SMBs 1 THE TOON 1

Updated '3:20pm bells' Monday 22nd October 2012

"DERBY DAY DIARY!"
THE TOON ATTACK THE SMB GOAL
IN THE FORST MINUTE!

The day started off @ a packed 'Three Bulls' in the Haymarket @ '9 bells' and then onward to 'The Newcastle Arms' @ '10 bells' where landlord Neil had opened the door bang on the hour mark (he waz telt by 'the dibble' that IF he dared open before this time then they'd 'do him'!)

Then it waz off to wor 'luxury' double decker busses parked on Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand, where they left @ 11:15 bells which waz qwaata of an hour before the stated departure time!?

Half an hour later and we were in the abyss, with the locals greetin us with two fingered gestures etc. (have they got nowt better to de?--like gan for a pre match drink!)

Anyway!--the busses parked up in their usual places, but away fans have now been relocated to the stand next to the swimmin' pool this season, and we were escorted to wor new place in the groond on the top tier of 'The Swimmin' Baths End'!
It waz 'high noon bells' by this time, some one and a half hours before kick off and the bar area waz packed with Toon fans byin' drinks from the kiosks.
Az usual I refused 'point blank' to drink any of the local brew az iz 'tradition' with me to abstain @ this place! (why shud aa give theeze tw*ts anymore of mee hard ornd dosh???)

Kick off time soon approached and az we took wor standin' places high up above the 'baths' the tension grew az the teams ran oot to the usual cr*p opera music (or wotever it iz?) played at full volume to try and drown the Toon fans oot! (it didnt work az many fans banged on the cr*ppy corrigated sheets at the back of the stand to applause from the Toon team who were wearin' their 'lime green high viz' strips'?

Within fower minutes of the start the away end erupted into a cauldron of noise az a Demba Ba shot fell to Yohan Cabaye and he placed hiz 'side footer' into the net in front of the travellin' 3,000 faithful, to silence the SMBs in the crowd!

We were on the front foot after this and looked likely to increase wor lead on several occassion and then the tornin' point of the game came when Cheik Tiote got himsel needlessly sent off in the 25th minute for showin' hiz studs against the SMBs Steven Fletcher when HE had aalready won a free kick!

We still tried to attack the SMB goal and were the better team for most of the game, but the advantage of havin' an extra player started payin' off for them in the second half of the second half when they had several corners in front of the 'Toon end'!
It shud be noted that 'Fab' Coloccini who waz substituted through injury in the 79th minutewaz ootstandin' and had a 'FAB' game!

We survived until the 85th minute and then horror upon horror!--Demba Ba (of aall people!) deflected a shot off wot looked like hiz heed and it went straight into wor goal past Tim Krul who had 'ne chance' of stoppin' it!

A nail bitin final few minutes then ensued but the ref, Martin Atkinson (who had a CR*P GAME!) finally blew for full time to mixed reactions from the Toon fans (some were just happy that we didnt lose it in the end ----BUT! we SHUD! have won it!)

We were then locked in for aboot an hour before bein' escorted back to the busses and az we left a little snotty nosed mackem urchin shouted "F**K OFF!" at the top of hiz voice through wor bus window.
One Toon fan replied: "We ARE tryin' to 'F**K OFF' from this place!---divvint worry son!!!"

THE MAGNIFICENT ARCHITECTURE OF SUND'LIND!
WE TOOK THIS 'SCENIC' PHOTO OF SOME
RAMSHACKLE PIGEON DUCKETS
(OR ARE THEY PEOPLES 'OUSES!?)
JUST 200 YARDS FROM THE SOS
ON WOR RETORN JORNEY! 
(THIS IZ AZ GOOD AZ IT GETS!)

We arrived back in 'The Newcastle Arms' nearly two hours after the final whistle where the bar waz packed with (shall we say!) rather inebriated fans who had watched it on the telly!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini(Steven Taylor 79), Santon, Tiote, Cabaye, Gutierrez, Ben Arfa (Obertan 83), Ba, Shola Ameobi (Perch 38)

Attendance: 47,456 (3,000 Toon fans (estimated)


Derby fact file

Demba Ba's own goal makes him the mackems SECOND TOP goalscorer this season behind Steven Fletcher! 

Since 1966 The Toon have lost just TWO games oot of the last TWENTY THREE played in mackemland in leegue and cup and 'The Geordie Times' haz been to each and every one of them!

@ the SOS in TEN visits we have anly lost
ONCE!










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