Wednesday 31 October 2012

THE HALLOWEEN DERBY MASSACRE!***ANNIVORSARY!***TOODAY!

Posted @ 'Halloween bells' Wednesday 31st October 2012
"FIVE-ONE!"*"TO THE GEORDIE BOYS!"

Today's the day that every Geordie shud celebrate wildleee! az ON THIS DAY! just two short years ago! we 'massacred the mackems' FIVE!-ONE! @ St James' Park, when 'King' Kevin Nolan got a hat-trick and Shola Ameobi added two more to hiz 'derby collection'!

Get the Halloween lanterns oot! and give the bairns a 'trick or treaty, sweety!' to celebrate one of the greatest days in wor lang and glorious history! 

"HARK NOW HEAR THE GEORDIES SING!"
"IT'S HALLOWEEN TONEET!"
"T'WAS NOLAN 'THREE'!!! AND SHOLA 'TWO'!!"
"A HAT-'TRICK' AND A 'TREAT'!!!!!"

Monday 29 October 2012

THE TOON 2 THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 1

Updated '3:00pm bells' Monday 29th October 2012

BAGGIES FANS IN LEVEL 7---(TOP OF PICTURE)
"WATCH OOT BELOW!"


This waz another lack lustre performance from The Toon, but we won it with a fluke goal deep deep into stoppage time @ the end of the match when a Sammy Ameobi shot hit Cisse's back and the baall reboonded into the net leavin' 'The Baggie Troosers' keeper stranded az we celebrated a most unexpected victory!

It waz obvious from the word 'go' that this would be a dour match az we couldn't seem to string two passes together with the visitors pushin' us back at every instant.
Against the run of play Demba Ba opened the scorin' for us in the 35th minute when he struck a sweet volley into the net @ 'The Leazes End' from a Shola Ameobi heeded 'flick on' and just after this Tim Krul in the Toon goal made two ootstandin' saves to deny the visitors and we were very lucky to gan in one-nowt up at the interval!

The inevitable equaliser however came in the 55th minute when Lukaku, who had lost his marker, had the easy chance of heedin' home past Tim Krul!

It waz 'backs to the waall' after this and the away side pressed for the winner but they couldn't get past 'Timmy' again.

And then that fluke equaliser!!!--If I waz a WBA fan a'd have been caallin' 'The Samaritans', tearin' mee hair oot and hoyin' meesel ower the balcony of 'The Leazes End' at the final whistle!!!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson (Cisse 61), Williamson, Coloccini, Santon, Ben Arfa, Perch, Cabaye, Gutierrez, Shola Ameobi (Obertan 61), Ba (Sammy Ameobi 73)

Attendance: 49,731 (1,400 suicidal 'Baggie Troosers' in level 7 of 'The Leazes'!)
(we predicted a crowd of between 47,000 to 48,000 and that WBA would bring 1,500 fans!)---so we wornt TOOO far oot!

Footnote: After the match we heeded for 'The Newcastle Arms' for a bit of post match 'tonsil ticklin', where we bumped into two Baggies fans sportin' their home strip. They were husband and wife and she telt us that she used to support 'The Villa'!
"So why do yi support West Brom now?", we asked curiously!?"
"Because my ex husband supported Villa and my new husband supports Albion!"-----"Albion and Villa hate each other!", she replied!

Saturday 27 October 2012

THE TOON v THE BAGGIE TROOSERS ***TOOODAY!

Updated '9:35am bells' Sunday 28th October 2012

This afternoon @ '3 bells' we face 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Bromwich @ St James' Park and if yi thinkin' that this will be an easy three points for 'The Toon'---then think again!---az we have failed to beat them @ wor place in their last three attempts!

Wor prediction for the attendance iz that it will probably be aroond aboot the 47,000 to 48,000 mark and that the visitors will probably bring 1,500 or so. (we shall see!?)

Ne news of the team line ups yet but Cheick Tiote will of course be missin' after gettin' sent off @ the SOS last Sunday!

The ref for todays game iz Chris Foy and the last time he took charge of a Toon game waz in the revorse fixture last March when we won 3-1 @ The Hawthorns! (lets hope that this iz a lucky omen!?)
The game isn't live on 'normal telly', but bars like 'The Hotspur' and 'The Porcy', which are within hocklin' distance of the groond, are advertizin' that they are showin' it on their 'dodgy channels'!

'The Geordie Times' will of course have a full and compreeehensive match report for this game on Monday mornin'!

BAIRNS GAME ON!

Posted '10:45am bells' Saturday 27th October 2012

THIS IZ A PHOTO WE TOOK OF LITTLE BENTON!
(WHEY!---LAST! WINTER ACTUALLY!)

Despite the wintry conditions this mornin' ower Tyneside, where it haz been snowin' owerneet, The Toon U18s game against Sooothampton's equivelent gans aheed az planned @ Little Benton.

But if yi gannin' yi'd better hurry up!---az it kicks off in FIFTEEN! minutes time @ '11 bells'!

Updated '3:45pm bells'---The bairns lost 3-1 with wor goal comin' from Callum Roberts in the forst minute of the second half

Sunday update: CORRECTION!
Adam Armstrong actually got wor goal!
(blame 'nufc.com' for this horrendous misteak!)

Friday 26 October 2012

44 YEARS AGO TODAY!

Posted '4:00pm bells' Friday 26th October 2012


44 years ago today aa went to mee forst 'lang distance' away game ootside the north east, when aa travelled to Liverpool to watch 'The Toon'!

Below iz mee archive report from that game
(IZ it reeely THAT! lang ago!?)

THE TOON 1 CLUB BRUGGE 0***"OBER AND OUT!"

Posted '9:55am bells' Friday 26th October 2012
THE TOON (IN WOR YELLOW HIGH VIZ STRIPS)
PREPARE TO KICK OFF TOWARDS THE LEAZES END

A fantastic Gabriel Obertan strike in the thord minute of 2nd half @ 'The Gallowgate End' sealed the win for 'The Toon' to cement wor position at the top of  Group D and we are now 3 points clear of Bordeaux in 2nd place.

Sammy Ameobi had ran doon the right and supplied Obertan who ran into the box and fired a right foot corker past the Brugge keeper into the far corner, for the one and anly goal of the game.

But this waz another below par performance from us and defencive frailties nearly let in the visitors on several occassions, but 'lady luck' waz on wor side once again and we held oot in freezin' conditions.
We had quite a few chances to extend wor lead, notably by Cisse who's confidence looked low and he missed at least two easy chances in the game!  

 'The Geordie Times' forecast of a crowd of aroond aboot 30,000 to 33,000 waz once again 'spot on' az 33,124 passed through the tornstiles, includin' aboot 2,500 noisy Belgians who had 'level 7' aall to themsels high up in 'The Leazes End'

The prediction that both the Ameobi brothers would start the game didn't happen, with Sammy in the startin' line up and Shola on the bench, so their place in NUFC history will have to wait.
(The anly other times that brothers have started a NUFC match is way back in 1952 when the Robledo brothers played together in domestic competitions and in 1992 when the Appleby brothers featured in The Anglo-Italian Cup)  

Toon team: Harper, Perch, Santon, Steven Taylor, Ferguson (Cabaye 81), Obertan, Tiote, Bigiramana, Anita (Shola Ameobi 46), Sammy Ameobi (Coloccini 73), Cisse

Attendance: 33,124
(2,500 Brugge fans (estimated)

GROUP D
                       P   W   D   L   F   A   GD   Pts
THE TOON    3   2    1    0    4    0    +4    7
Bordeaux       3    1    1    1    5    4    +1    4
Brugge           3    1    0    2    2    5    -3     3
Maritimo         3    0    2    1    1    3    -2     2

Wednesday 24 October 2012

THE TOON v CLUB BRUGGE***TOOONEET!

Updated '3:05pm bells' Thorsday 25th October 2012

Toooneet 'The Toon' will play wor 138th game in total in European competitions (this includes 13 games in the Anglo-Italian Cup---by the way!) and 'The Geordie Times' iz attemptin' to de wor 104th European game 'in a row', when we face Club Brugge of Belgium @ St James' Park!

"OH BRUVVA!"
History cud aalso be repeatin' itself, az it iz rumoured that brothers Sammi and Shola Ameobi cud start a game together for the forst time!

The Robledo brothers appeared together in 1952 in domestic competition for the Toon and the anly other time it haz happened to us iz when the Appelby brothers appeared together in the Anglo-Italian Cup in 1992.

We fully expect that the usual contingent of resorve players will be in the startin' line up and divvint be suprized if 'The Xisco Kid' iz in the squad az he scored a hat-trick in the resorves 5-1 thrashin' of 'The Pullis P*ss Potts of Stoke' on Monday neet @ 'Blue Flames', Benton (aka Whitley Park) in the FA Premier Resorve Leegue (see report below)

We're not sure just how many Brugge fans are comin' ower the English Channel, but yi can bet that they are better treated here, than we will be in the beer capital of Belgium in a fortneets time, az we've been given a lang list of things NOT to de when we get there! (like NOT to waalk or get public transport to the game, but instead get a taxi instead! (the groond iz within waalkin distance of central Brugge!?) Plus loads of other things that yoo can get 'nicked' for! (and we're not even there--yet!)

Anyway!---another Europa Leegue crowd of aroond aboot the 30,000-33,000 iz predicted by us (the average so far iz 30,114)

Europa Leegue Table:
                  P   W   D   L    F   A    GD   Pts
The Toon  2    1    1    0    3    0     +3     4
Bordeaux   2    1    0    1    4    3     +1     3 
Brugge       2    1    0    1    2    4     -2      3
Maritimo     2    0    1    1    0    2     -2     1       

This will be the forst game @ home since the 'St James' Park' signs were re-erected on the Barrack Road main entrance!
"ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880!---AND AALWAYS WILL BE!"

PS: Just foond oot that Xisco ISN'T in the squad but 17 year old North Shields born striker Adam Campbell, who played in that resorve game on Monday---IZ!

Az per usual---'Geordie Times' match report to follow tomorrow!

Tuesday 23 October 2012

THE X X X FACTOR!***THE TOON RESORVES 5 THE PULLIS P*SS POTTS RESORVES 1

Posted '9:45am bells' Tuesday 23rd October 2012


@ a drizzzle drenched Whitley Park, Benton, the resorves ran oot 5-1 winners against The P*ss Potts of Stoke last neet.

The 'Xisco Kid' made a suprize comeback after  bein' absent for quite a while and did he shock the 200 or so hardy souls with a HAT-TRICK of quality!---(Oh! yes he did!)

The forst goal of the game however waz scored by James Tavernier who heeded in a Campbell cross beatin' their keeper ends up.

It waz then 'The X Factor Show' az Xisco scored hiz forst in the 38th minute with a fine shot from an Amalfitano cross.

Hiz 2nd came 10mins after the restart when Campbell supplied him with a pass from the goal line and he finished off neatly, givin' the 'P*ss Potts' keeper ne chance!

Xisco's hat-trick came at the mid point of the half when Inman crossed and again he made ne mistake to put us fower -nil up!

He waz then substituted to wild applause from 200 faithful present! (whey!--a few hand claps here and there---anyway!) and Abeid wrapped up wor scorin' when he fired infrom close range from a Marcus Maddison pass.

The anly 'blip' came just before the end when a horrendous defensive error let in Alabi who had the easy chance of slottin' the baall home for the visitors.

Attendance: 221 drizzle drenched diehards! 
(ne Stoke fans az far az we cud see!) 



Monday 22 October 2012

SMBs 1 THE TOON 1

Updated '3:20pm bells' Monday 22nd October 2012

"DERBY DAY DIARY!"
THE TOON ATTACK THE SMB GOAL
IN THE FORST MINUTE!

The day started off @ a packed 'Three Bulls' in the Haymarket @ '9 bells' and then onward to 'The Newcastle Arms' @ '10 bells' where landlord Neil had opened the door bang on the hour mark (he waz telt by 'the dibble' that IF he dared open before this time then they'd 'do him'!)

Then it waz off to wor 'luxury' double decker busses parked on Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand, where they left @ 11:15 bells which waz qwaata of an hour before the stated departure time!?

Half an hour later and we were in the abyss, with the locals greetin us with two fingered gestures etc. (have they got nowt better to de?--like gan for a pre match drink!)

Anyway!--the busses parked up in their usual places, but away fans have now been relocated to the stand next to the swimmin' pool this season, and we were escorted to wor new place in the groond on the top tier of 'The Swimmin' Baths End'!
It waz 'high noon bells' by this time, some one and a half hours before kick off and the bar area waz packed with Toon fans byin' drinks from the kiosks.
Az usual I refused 'point blank' to drink any of the local brew az iz 'tradition' with me to abstain @ this place! (why shud aa give theeze tw*ts anymore of mee hard ornd dosh???)

Kick off time soon approached and az we took wor standin' places high up above the 'baths' the tension grew az the teams ran oot to the usual cr*p opera music (or wotever it iz?) played at full volume to try and drown the Toon fans oot! (it didnt work az many fans banged on the cr*ppy corrigated sheets at the back of the stand to applause from the Toon team who were wearin' their 'lime green high viz' strips'?

Within fower minutes of the start the away end erupted into a cauldron of noise az a Demba Ba shot fell to Yohan Cabaye and he placed hiz 'side footer' into the net in front of the travellin' 3,000 faithful, to silence the SMBs in the crowd!

We were on the front foot after this and looked likely to increase wor lead on several occassion and then the tornin' point of the game came when Cheik Tiote got himsel needlessly sent off in the 25th minute for showin' hiz studs against the SMBs Steven Fletcher when HE had aalready won a free kick!

We still tried to attack the SMB goal and were the better team for most of the game, but the advantage of havin' an extra player started payin' off for them in the second half of the second half when they had several corners in front of the 'Toon end'!
It shud be noted that 'Fab' Coloccini who waz substituted through injury in the 79th minutewaz ootstandin' and had a 'FAB' game!

We survived until the 85th minute and then horror upon horror!--Demba Ba (of aall people!) deflected a shot off wot looked like hiz heed and it went straight into wor goal past Tim Krul who had 'ne chance' of stoppin' it!

A nail bitin final few minutes then ensued but the ref, Martin Atkinson (who had a CR*P GAME!) finally blew for full time to mixed reactions from the Toon fans (some were just happy that we didnt lose it in the end ----BUT! we SHUD! have won it!)

We were then locked in for aboot an hour before bein' escorted back to the busses and az we left a little snotty nosed mackem urchin shouted "F**K OFF!" at the top of hiz voice through wor bus window.
One Toon fan replied: "We ARE tryin' to 'F**K OFF' from this place!---divvint worry son!!!"

THE MAGNIFICENT ARCHITECTURE OF SUND'LIND!
WE TOOK THIS 'SCENIC' PHOTO OF SOME
RAMSHACKLE PIGEON DUCKETS
(OR ARE THEY PEOPLES 'OUSES!?)
JUST 200 YARDS FROM THE SOS
ON WOR RETORN JORNEY! 
(THIS IZ AZ GOOD AZ IT GETS!)

We arrived back in 'The Newcastle Arms' nearly two hours after the final whistle where the bar waz packed with (shall we say!) rather inebriated fans who had watched it on the telly!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini(Steven Taylor 79), Santon, Tiote, Cabaye, Gutierrez, Ben Arfa (Obertan 83), Ba, Shola Ameobi (Perch 38)

Attendance: 47,456 (3,000 Toon fans (estimated)


Derby fact file

Demba Ba's own goal makes him the mackems SECOND TOP goalscorer this season behind Steven Fletcher! 

Since 1966 The Toon have lost just TWO games oot of the last TWENTY THREE played in mackemland in leegue and cup and 'The Geordie Times' haz been to each and every one of them!

@ the SOS in TEN visits we have anly lost
ONCE!










TOON RESORVES v THE PULLIS P*SS POTTS RESORVES***TOONEET!

Posted '3:55pm bells' Monday 22nd October 2012

The resorves take on Stoke's equivelent @ Benton @ '7 bells' toneet!


Bring your brolly if yi gannin--coz it's gannih p*ss doon!

Match report to follow tomorrow!

Saturday 20 October 2012

SMBs v THE TOON***TOOODAY @ '1:30 BELLS'

Updated '7:10am bells' Sunday 21st October 2012

"TIL DEATH US DO PART!"

The most hated day in the futbaall calender iz upon us! and @ '11am bells' this mornin' we will start boardin' the 'Alf Garnett skool busses' to the SOS!
We will start off in 'The Three Bulls' az it iz open @ '9 bells' and move onto 'The Newcastle Arms' which cannit opens it's doors til an hour later! (on police orders!) before heedin' for Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand (where the busses leave from) 
Then it's onward at snails pace with a huge 'dibble' escort of motorbike ootriders, black marias and Northumbria force helicopters to 'guide us' to 'yee naa where' for wor annual 'day of hate' in this 147th derby match since season 1888-1889!

Rumour haz it that we will be 'locked in' til an hour after the end of the match, arrivin' back on Tyneside aroond aboot five thorty-ish!??
It's certain to be a very lang day!

Match report to follow on Monday---"Let's hope it's a 'good-un'!"





In the meeentime!--av 'dug up' the archive report from wor match @ joker park in 1970, which waz the last time yi cud 'pay @ the gate' to get in!  (they made them 'aall ticket' after this)
(see below!)

THE 'OTHER' TYNE/WEARY DERBY!*****TODAY @ '3 BELLS'!

Updated '7:30pm bells' Saturday 20th October 2012

Az a 'taster' for the BIG derby tomorrow, Northern Leegue sides Dunston UTS from Tyneside and Sund'lind RCA from wearyside, meet @ Federation Park, Dunston this afternoon and 'The Geordie Times' will be there to cheer on 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, to a hopeful victory!
It's a fiver to get in if yoo fancy it (concessions for zimmerframites and sprogs!) and a crowd of 150 or so iz antisipated! (so get there soon if yi want to get in!)

Forst 'port o caall' the clubhoose!

Will post the result later!-----"Er!"--the wearysiders won 1-0 with a very! very! very! very! dodgy penalty!---well!--aa wud say that wud'nt aa!?" 

Wednesday 17 October 2012

ST JAMES' PARK***IT'S A SIGN OF THE TIMES!***(THE GEORDIE TIMES!)

Photo taken by wor cheeef paparazzi fotogrofaa @ '4:35pm bells' Wednesday 17th October 2012! 
"ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880!"***
"AND AALWAYS WILL BE!"

Monday 15 October 2012

LIFE BEGINS @ 40,000!

Posted '9:40pm bells' Monday 15th October 2012

Tooneeet!--- 'The Geordie Times' haz received it's FORTY THOOSANDTH 
page view and yet again we thank each and every one of yoo from the fower corners of the globe (and beyond!) for loggin' into this blog!

The top ten aall time page views are az follows:

1---United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales)---21,311
2---United States of America---6,435
3---Jawmany---838
"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"
4---The Guinness Republic---820
5---Greece---688
6---Ukraine---618
7---Russia---438
8---Nigeria---280
9---Holland---267
10---Australia---245

Sunday 14 October 2012

NORTH EAST ENGLAND AVERAGE GATES (TOP 12)

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 14th October 2012 

In the run up to 'derby week' we thought we'd publish the average gates of the top north east clubs.

The Toon are of course the best supported by a lang way and have been so in the entire 21st century!

The top supported clubs in the north east are az follows:

1 THE TOON***50,559 (premya leegue)
2 SMBs***39,870 (premya leegue)
3 Smog Monsters***14,999 (championship)
4 The Monkey Hangers***4,081 (leegue 1)
5 Berwick Strangers***1,436 (scottish leegue 3)
6 Darlo***1,263 (northern leegue 1)
7 Bishops***697 (northern leegue 1)
8 The Heed***657 (conference)
9 Whitley Baywatchers***404 (northern leegue 1)
10 Guisboro***397 (northern leegue 1)
11 Dunston Bad Blue Boys***358 (northern leegue 1)
12 The Spartans of Blyth***343 (evo stick north premier leegue)

LATEST AWAY TRAVEL & TICKET NEWS!

Updated '2:30pm bells' Saturday 13th October 2012



"TIL DEATH US DO PART!"


Away bus travel bookins to the SMB game @ the SOS a week on Sunday are now bein' taken for those lucky enough to have a match ticket!
For the forst time ever a charge of five quid will be levied and fans must book their seats through the NUFC ticket office.

The 'luxury busses'? supplied by 'Alf' (see above!?) will leave Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand main entrance @ '11:00 bells' for the '1:30 bells' kick off!

Tickets for wor forthcomin' game against 'The Liverbirds' on Sunday 4th November  @ Anfield are on sale a @ a 'woppin' 48 quid for big kids! (the prices just gan up and up!), 36 quid for zimmerframites and 15 quid for sprogs under 17!
50 loyalty points are required.
Members sale from Monday 22nd (if there are any left!)



Tickets for Brugge away in Belgium on Thorsday 8th November are still on sale if yoo have 75 loyalty points---priced @ 33 quid---apply by next Sunday

Saturday 13 October 2012

HEEDBANGERS v CAMBRIDGE***LIVE TELLY THIS AFTERNOON!

Posted '2:50pm bells' Saturday 13th October 2012

If yoo are in desperate need of a 'futbaall fix' this afternooon because of wor inaction this weekend, then can we suggest a trip to that otha Tyneside team who play in black and white, namelee 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed' who are in action @ The International Stadium @ '5:15 bells' against Cambridge United.

The game iz live on the 'Premier Sports Channel'

Admission, if yi fancy gannin, iz!----£14 for big kids, £9 for zimmerframeites and just 2 quid for sprogs
Footnote: the game ended 0-0!

Wednesday 10 October 2012

ST JAMES' PARK FOR 132 YEARS!----AND AALWAYS WILL BE!

Posted '5:20pm bells' Wednesday 10th October 2012 
ST JAMES' PARK***1880-2012

The brilliant news haz nuw been conformed!----'Wonga' wor new sponsors will NOT rename the stadium 'The Bonga Wonga'!

It will stay 'ST JAMES' PARK' and az far az we are concerned it will aalways be by that name WHOEVER wor sponsors are in the future!

'Wonga' have come in for fierce criticism for bein' loan sharks!---but hang on a minute!---nebody iz holdin' a loaded revolver to anybodys heed to make them sign on the dotted line to tek oot a loan that they cannit afford to pay back!---are they???

'Wonga' are to invest in wor academy and have suggested that fans have a say in any new kit design, which makes sense az some of the strips we have had lately are horrendous, includin' wor new European 'high viz jacket coloured strip'!

'The Geordie Times' iz on the side of anybody who sees things from wor point of view!
"ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880!---and aalways will be!"

Tuesday 9 October 2012

THE BONGA WONGA CONGA!?

Posted '5:20pm bells' Tuesday 9th October 2012

"THE TOON'S NEW 32,000,000 POOND SIGNIN'!"

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' through the grapevine that the finance lendin' company caalled 'WONGA' have signed a fower year deal with NUFC to be wor new sponsor for both the club shirt AND the namin' rights to St James' Park!--worth a reputed £8 million a season!

The mind boggled az to wot they might TRY and caall wor iconic stadium next, had they a mind to do so????
'THE BONGA WONGA' STADIUM perhaps???

And if we won the forst game under wor new name, we could have aallways done the!--- (WAIT FOR IT!!!)---'BONGA WONGA CONGA'!!! aroond the terraces to celebrate!!!---yi couldn't make it up!!!

They HAVE conformed, however!, that they intend to keep the St James' Park name, which can anly meeen good news! (IF it's TRUE???)

ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880
and aalways will be!


Monday 8 October 2012

THE TOON 0 THE COCKNEY REDS of SALFORD 3

Posted '10:20am bells' Monday 8th October 2012

'THE TOON' ATTACK 'THE LEAZES END'
DURIN' THE 2nd HALF

In front of wor 2nd biggest crowd of the season, we had virtually lost the game in the forst qwaata of an hour @ The Leazes End, with two set piece corner goals from Jonny Evans and Patrice Evra  who were both completly unmarked, to put us on the backfoot for the rest of the match!

It could have been much, much, more az the visitors were 'on fire' and we simply couldn't cope with their relentless bombardment of wor goal!

Things had settled doon a bit in the last 15 minutes of the half but we couldn't find a way through their defence and we went in two doon at the break.

The key moment in the match came just five mins after the restart when Demba Ba hit 'the bar' and the baall came oot to Papiss Cisse who heeded goalwards and hiz effort seemed to cross the goal line az De Gea in the Cockney Reds goal clawed the baall oot!---It looked like a goal to us high up in level 7 of The Milburn Stand, but both the ref and linesman who were much closer, didn't think so and play waz waved on!

It waz 'game ower' in the 70th minute when a Tom Cleverley cross went straight into the top corner of the net az Steve Harper tried in vain to save it!

We shud have had a penalty when Cisse's shirt waz pulled in the box, but this waz just one of several controversial decisions that the ref Howard Webb got wrang and in total EIGHT players were booked, fower from each side!

Toon team: Harper, Santon, Williamson, Perch, Ferguson (Anita 63), Ben Arfa, Cabaye, Tiote (Bigiramana 80), Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Shola Ameobi 63)

Attendance: 52,203 (biggest crowd in Britain ower the weekend!) (3,000 noisy Cockney Reds who divvint seem to like Alan Shearer for some reason!????)  

Sunday 7 October 2012

THE TOON v THE COCKNEY REDS of SALFORD ***THIS AFTERNOOON!

Updated '8:40am bells' Sunday 7th October 2012


WE LAST MET @ ST JAMES' IN JANUARY THIS YEAR***
THE TOON WON 3-0!

This afternoon @ '4 bells' we face 'The Cockney Reds' for the 2nd time in 2 weeks, this time @ St James Park<(and aalways will be!)

A selloot crowd of 52,000 plus iz ny on a certainty and we can anly hope that we can repeat the form from Thorsday neet when we 'torned ower' 'The Bordeaux Winos' 3-0 in the Europa League.

The team of course will be much different to the startin' line up of three days ago, but a confident Toon Army will expect a good result come '6 bells'!
The game iz live on SKY telly!

Any team news we find oot we will bring to yoo straight away! (whey!---mebeez a few hours late anyway!)

MATCH REPORT TO FOLLOW MUCH LATER! 

Friday 5 October 2012

I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS!

Posted '2:25pm bells' Friday 5th October 2012

Havin' just updated wor fixture list in the last few hours 'The Geordie Times' haz just foond oot that a fortha FIVE! Premya Leeeg games have been moved for live telly!---Two of them in the dreaded Monday neet slot, which we F*****' HATE!

The fixture changes are az follows:

Monday 3rd December 'The Blue Wigs' H @ '8 bells' SKY
Monday 10th December 'The Wacko Jacko Jivers' A @ '8 bells' SKY
Saturday 15th December 'The Blue Moonies' H @ '12:45 bells' SKY
Saturday 29th December 'The Arse' A @ '5:30 bells' ESPN
Wednesday 2nd January 2013 'The Toffee Noses' H @ '8 bells' SKY

A'm gannin oot 'on the hoy' nuw and will update the NUFC fixture list in the top toolbar later!
(MUCH LATER!)


SMB TICKETS SOLD OOOT!*********

Updated '11:45am bells' Friday 5th October 2012
RYAN TAYLORS WINNIN' GOAL @ THE SOS LAST SEASON!

Tickets for wor forthcomin' game later this month against the SMBs @ the SOS are nuw SOLD OOT! (allocation 2,400)

THE TOON 3 DE BORDEAUX 'WINOS' 0

Updated '10:35am bells' Friday 5th October 2012
THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END

This waz a 'vintage' performance from The Toon who played once more in wor 'high viz' alumanus strips @ St James' last neet to beat the men from the wine capital of France 3-0

Wor prediction of a fifty/fifty team of resorve and forst team players waz 'spot on' and this waz withoot doubt wor best performance of the season!

We opened wor accoont in the 16th minute when Gabriel Obertan sent in a pin-point cross for an unmarked Shola Ameobi, who had the simple task of sidefootin' the baall into the net @ The Leazes End!

Wor lead waz doubled soon after with a spectacular own goal from Henrique, when he sliced his attempted clearance past hiz dispairin' keeper from a Danny Simpson cross!

It waz aroond aboot this time that fightin' broke oot in the visitors enclosure in the Leazes/East Stand corner. At forst we thought that some Toon idiots had infiltrated their 'end', but it torned oot that they were fightin' amongst themsels! (too much wine---no doubt!)

It waz soon time to pop the vintage wine corks worsels, however!--- when Demba Cisse roonded the game off with the final goal of the game when he convorted off the post at The Gallowgate End from an excellent Shane Ferguson cross!


ACTION @ THE GALLOWGATE END

To bee honest 'The Winos' were 'p*ss poor' which we didn't expect and if we were honest a draw at best, waz predicted by 'us' before the game!

With this win we are now top of wor group table!

Group 'D'
                    played W  D  L  F  A  Pts
THE TOON   2        1   1  0   3  0   4
Bordeaux---    2       1   0   1  4   3  3 
Brugge------   2        1   0   1  2  4   3
Maritimo---    2        0   1  1   0  2   1

Toon team: (as predicted!) Elliot (Harper 46) , Simpson, Perch, Williamson, Ferguson, Cabaye (Bigiramana 60), Tiote (Gosling 70), Anita, Obertan, Shola Ameobi, Cisse

Attendance:30,987---wor prediction of a crowd of between 30,000 and 32,000 beforehand waz aalso 'spot on'!
(aroond aboot 350 or so 'Winos' in the away end, who were completeleee suroonded by orange coated stewards!)



"A SIGN OF THE TIMES!"

     

Wednesday 3 October 2012

THE TOON v DE BORDEAUX 'WINOS' *** TOONEET!

Updated '3:20pm bells' Thorsday 4th October 2012

"A 'VINTAGE' WINE CONNOISSEUR AND
BORDEAUX FAN PREDICTS THE SCORE!"
("HE DOESN'T SAY WHO TO--THOUGH?")

@ '8:05 bells' toneet we face the team from the French vintage wine capital, namely, 'The Girondins De Bordeaux Winos' (to give them their full title!) @ St James' Park in a Europa League group stage match.

We fully expected 'a half and half team' of resorve and forst team players to take the field az we play 'The Cockney Reds of Salford' on Sunday @ '4 bells' and az we aall naa by now the Premya League takes priority ower any cup games!

It will be interestin' to see the startin' line up toneet compared with next Sunday afternoon!?

The Geordie Times predicts a crowd aroond aboot the 30,000-32,000 mark? (see how far we are oot!) and lets hope we see a 'vintage' performance from The Toon! (sic!)
Match report to follow sometime tomorrow!

Both games are on live telly with 'The Bordeaux Winos' game on ESPN and 'The Cockney Reds' game on SKY

In otha news: NUFC have annooned that anly 50 loyalty points are now needed for a SMB ticket @ the SOS later this month and we've hord that we've anly got 2,400 tickets this time! (it gans doon every year!)
Meanwhile!---yoo still need 100 loyalty points for an away ticket @ Brugge! (allocation 1,400!) 

Tuesday 2 October 2012

GROOND 291***MARITIMO UPDATE! (AT LAST!)

Posted '9:35am bells' Tuesday 2nd October 2012

THE TOON (in wor 'high viz' strips)
ATTACK THE MARITIMO GOAL

With just two days to gan before wor next European encoonter against Bordeaux of France @ St James', we thought we'd wet your appitite and bring yoo (at last!) the full trip report from Maritimo some 12 days ago!
We naa this iz late, but a'v got otha things to de az well, besides sittin' behind a computa keyboard typin' cr*p! aall day, like, gannin to work every now and again!

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