Wor last pre season friendly ended in a disastrous 4-1 defeat to Championship side Cardiff 'Redwings' in sooth Wales yesterday in the sunshine
There were anly two of us travellin' doon at the ungody hour of '5am bells' and mee companion for the day waz 'Adam from Palmersville'
The lang drive doon took six hours plus an extra half hour to find somewhere to park, az aall aroond the groond and up to half a mile away, waz for permit holders anly!
We bumped into 'Fawlty Towers' who waz doon to visit relatives in Cumbran fifteen miles away and az we were waalkin' up the road a gadgie came past on a bike and shooted, "Ding! Ding!" for us to get oot of the way! (he didn't have a bell!)
'Fawlty' didn't hear him, so aa said, "Brian!--get oot the way!" (his real name)
The gadgie on the bike then said in a broad Welsh accent, "Ding! Ding! Brian!---get out the F*****' way!", az he rode past! (we were in stitches!)
We foond 'sanctuary' in the Canton Rugby Club which waz in sight and hocklin' distance of the stadium and we settled doon for much needed 'liquid refreshments', before heedin' for the tornstiles (not much 'hootch' for me az aa waz drivin' back!)
The most suprizin' thing waz the lack of protest from the home fans in the controversial decision to change their home colours from blue to red and quite a few were wearin' the new red shirts!? (mebbez they were protestin' with their feet az there were large gaps in the blue seats!)
A terrible start meant that we were three doon after just 26 minutes after some terrible defendin' by wor back five---(the same back five who will probably start against Spors in wor forst leegue game next Saturday!)
The 2nd half offered some hope when we were awarded a penalty soon after the restart which waz convorted by Shola Ameobi in front of the 1,000 or so Toon fans who had made the lang jorney doon.
However!-- wor 'hopes' were soon dashed az 'The Redwings' got a fourth to seal the win and give US 'red faces'!
We then faced the prospect of the lang drive yem and arrived back on Tyneside @ 'midneet bells'! (670 miles roond trip!)
Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Coloccini (Williamson 46), Steven Taylor (Gosling 63), Santon, Tiote (Amalfitano 70), Obertan (Campbell 84), Ryan Taylor (Perch 28), Marveaux (Vuckic 46), Gutierrez, Shola Ameobi
Attendance: 9,682 (1,000 or so, lang sufferin' Toon fans!)