Friday, 24 November 2017

FULHAM RESORVES 5 THE TOON RESORVES 0

Updated '2:10pm bells' Wednesday 4th April 2012

(Ground number 285---NOT!)
Date of Attempted Visit: 3rd April 2012
Motspur Park, London

Fulham Reserves 5
Newcastle United Reserves 0

FA Premier Reserve League
Attendance: 100 inside and us daft bu**ers ootside!

"A VIEW TO DIE FOR!" ^ (BUT BEWARE OF THE BARBED WIRE!)

To cut a very lang story short, we were unable to gain admittance to this 'behind closed doors' match @ Motspur Park, despite havin' genuine written authorisation to do so. The reason bein' that we wernt on 'the list'!
(This waz despite valiant efforts from wor contact on Tyneside to get us in!)
"CHEERS MATE!---YOU DID YOUR VERY BEST, AND YOUR EFFORTS TO GET US IN ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!"

We were forced to watch the game through a gap in a barbed wire fence, which we'd noticed on wor way to the groond's main entrance, so it wasn't an entirely wasted jorney after aall, and we were grateful for that at least! (even though it was a canny way from the pitch!)

"WEEZE TREES ARE THEEZ?"

However!---a five nil thrashin' waz the order of the day for a Toon team made up mainly of junior players, so mebbeez it was just az well that we wornt inside the groond to see it!
The 'Orangebairns' (we played in wor orange change kit) simply wornt good enough for the much stronger and expierienced home side.

We saw aall the goals bar one, when a groondsmans tractor drove by, blockin' wor view!


"ARMS IN!---IF YI LOVE 'THE TOON'!"

One of wor groundhoppin' number (who shall remain nameless!) said that he waz includin' the groond on his 'list' az he'd actually put hiz arms through 'the gap in the fence', so therefore he waz actually INSIDE the groond. (IF this ISN'T the saddest thing yoov EVER hord, then let me naa!)

From a personal point of view, ("Er!"--despite dein' the same thing for some daft reason???) aa very reluctantleee decided that aa could'nt include it in my list of groonds, even though aa saw the game from afar, az the 'mad-sad groundhoppers rules' clearly state that you 'MUST BE INSIDE THE GROOND' to include it! (not just 'PART' of yoo!)

Memo: MUST! amend the rules to say:  "The WHOLE of your body MUST be inside the groond to include it!" (rule 27a amendment 04/04/2012)

On wor retorn to Tyneside late last neet we were 'greeted with sleet, snow and freezin' caad temperatures----The PERFECT WAY to end this day!


Conclusion: It's F*****' CRAZY!---Isn't it!?
Clubs barrin' fans (their lifeblood!) from gannin to games!
We wernt the anly ones 'barred' from this game.
Amongst others, a scout from a Rymans League club waz aalso refused entry coz he wasn't 'on the list' and a Fulham fan who asked if he could watch the match was told in no uncertain terms that he couldn't!
'CRAZY' isn't the word!

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