Friday, 2 September 2011

CENTRE FORWARD---DEAL, DEAD & BURIED!

Posted '10:10 pm bells' Friday 2nd September 2011

Wor 'beloved'? managin' director who is known affectionately to Toon fans az 'Llambs to the Slaughter' haz issued the followin' statement this afternoon regardin' the signin' of centre forward Jeff  Astle.
(Quote!) "Unfortunately the deal has fallen through due to the fact that we've just found out that Jeff is in fact DEAD! so he wont be joinin' us or be in the team to play QPR on Monday week!"

YESTERDAY

"The 'ASTLE' sign on the front of The East Stand has now been removed and will shortly be replaced by some very nice sports company logos to brighten up the stands frontage!"

"Our loyal mugs ("er!--sorry!---FANS!") can rest assured that every avenue will explored in our bid to sign a 'quality' centre forward!"---("That's!--- Dipton Avenue, Benwell,---Binswood Avenue, Blakelaw, Haig Avenue, Dunston---Avenue Road, Bensham and Leztz'Be Aven'ue, North Shields Police HQ!)



In anotha statement 'Llambsy' ("Baa!") states the followin'!
(Quote!) "Of course we all hoped to secure a further striker in the window in adition to Denba Ba!" (a free transfer!)
"Work to bring in an extra striker began in the early summer!" (we sold Andy Pandy in January remember!)
"Negotiations were complex and protracted and unfortunately it was disappointing that ultimately we could not secure our priority target!" (ie: a free transfer ne doubt!)
"We have a very clear policy and will not make knee jerk decisions at the last minute!" (ie: we want the players for next to nowt!)
"We understand that supporters (ie: mugs!) will feel frustrated that we did not sign another striker during the window, but it was not for the lack of trying that we did not bring our final target in!" ( a loan player perhaps?)

WHICH STATEMENT DO YOU BELIEVE IS THE MOST BELIEVIBLE!???  



'LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER'---meaning of the phrase
In an unconcerned manner!
Unaware of INPENDING DISASTER!
Origin---From The Bible---Jerimiah 11:19! 

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