Wednesday, 7 September 2011

THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF BAA BAA THE BLACK 'N' WHITE SHEEP!

Posted '2:45 pm bells' Thorsday 8th September 2011

The original 'Geordie Times' was in cartoon form so we've decided to revive it for a special 'lets sign a centre forward' edition.



The Toon are desperate to sign a new centre forward and it's transfer deadline day, so 'Baa Baa' comes to the rescue and applies for the famous number nine shirt!
The amazing TRUE! story unfolds below!




Somewhere ^ inside ^the bowels^ of St James'^
'Llambsy': "Wot qualifications have you got?"
'Baa Baa': "Baa! Baaaa!---I was thord choice centre forward for 'Cruddas Park Cr*p Shovellers' last season in the 'Tyneside over 95's Tuesday Midneet League' and aa scored one solitary goal, when the baall was deflected off a 'Grainger Park Grannies' defender's zimmerframe and into the net!
We lost 37-1! Baaaa!"
Llambsy:"That's just wot I want to hear!---Your track record is 'spot on'!"---"Everything seems to be in order and you have an excellent goals record in a quality league!---The number nine shirt's yours!"

In the meantime there's turmoil at the club that evenin' and before an annoocement on wor new centre forward is made to the waitin' press and TV crews, Baa Baa gets caalled back into the M.D.'s office

Llambsy: "We've got a crisis on our hands!---We've had to sack our head tea boy and general 'dogsbody' coz he didn't grovel enough!---Wot are you like at brewing tea?"
Ba Ba: "Baaa! Baa!--I make a canny cuppa!"
Llambsy: "Are you a crawler and a 'YES MAN'?"
Baa Baa: "Baaa! Baaaaaa! YES!-I'm the biggest crawler you'll ever meet and I'll kiss your expensive crocodile shoes as well!---Baaa! Baaaaa!"
Llambsy: "I like your attitude!--you've really impressed me and your qualifications for the position of head tea boy are second to none!---You've got the job!---after all we've got to get our priority's right---haven't we!?"
Baa Baa: "BAAAAA! BAAAAAAA!----'Lick' 'lick' 'grovel' grovel!"

"Attention all Newcasel fans!---We interupt this programme to bring you some sensational news!
'Baa Baa' has just been appointed head tea boy at St James' Park!"
"A club spokesman said, "I'm sure the fans will be delighted at our new appointment and it shows our  commitment to the long term future of the club to get someone of 'Ba Ba's 'calibre' on board!---And as for a new centre forward???---Who cares!?---We've got 'Baa Baa' now to brew the tea!" 

Artwork by 'Jamie' aged two! (nearly!)
Words by 'Zac' aged seven months!


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