Thursday 30 June 2011

THE 100 COUNTRIES CLUB

Posted (seconds before!) 'midneet bells' Thorsday 30th June 2011

By amazin' coincidence and on the same day as wor 10,000th hit, we have aalso had wor 100th country viewin' this site, namleee, Trinidad and Tobago! 
Below iz the entire list of countries aroond the world (and beyond!) in the order they viewed 'The Geordie Times' ("get the broon ale oot!")


Photo of the World kindly supplied by wor friend from Mars!

1 England  
2 Scotland  
3 Northern Ireland   
4 Wales  
5 United States of America  
6 Canada  
7 Japan  
8 Bulgaria  
9 Columbia  
10 Brazil  
11 Republic of Ireland  
12 Denmark  
13 Hong Kong  
14 France  
15 Germany  
16 Russia
17 Burundi
18 Kenya
19 Lithuania
20 China
21 Iraq
22 Egypt
23 India
24 Romania
25 Malta
26 Slovenia
27 Holland
28 New Zealand
29 Australia
30 Spain
31 Greece
32 Belgium
33 Ukraine
34 Luxembourg
35 Sooth Korea
36 Poland
37 Italy
38 Serbia
39 Malaysia
40 Macedonia (FYROM)
41 Hungary
42 Mexico
43 Switzerland
44 Turkey
45 Croatia
46 Norway
47 Equador
48 Czech Republic
49 Portugal
50 Austria
51 Latvia
52 Kyrgyistan
53 Azerbaijan
54 Estonia
55 Israel
56 Argentina
57 United Arab Emerates
58 Chile
59 Sweden
60 Finland
61 Tunisia
62 Saudi Arabia
63 Sooth Africa
64 Peru
65 Indonesia
66 Thailand
67 Iran
68 Iceland
69 Pakistan
70 Slovakia
71 Singapore
72 Albania
73 Uruguay
74 Vietnam
75 Bosnia & Herzegovina
76 Nigeria
77 Georgia
78 Philippines
79 Lebanon
80 Isle of Man
81 Belarus
82 Moldova
83 Yemen
84 Taiwan
85 Aruba
86 Venezuela
87 Guatemala
88 Ghana
89 Mauritius
90 Cyprus
91 Zambia
92 Brunei
93 Kuwait
94 Liberia
95 Gibralter
96 Morocco
97 Sierra Leone
98 Jersey
99 Bahrain
100 Trinidad & Tobago
(Plus Mars!)

"A hundred (and one!) thank yooos to each and every country/planet!"





  

THE GEORDIE TIMES ONLINE

Posted '10:00 am bells' Thorsday 30th June 2011
THE N.U.F.C. ARCHIVE WEBSITE FOR GEORDIE EXILES AROOND THE WORLD!

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"
                     


< (AND BEYOND!)

Christmas has certainly come orly for 'The Geordie Times' as the hit coonta has now past 'the magical' TEN THOOSAND! mark.
"HAPPY XMAS!"

At the beginnin' of the year aa said aa would be happy if we got 10,000 hits by Christmas and so to get that before the end of Joon is well beyond expectations!

This momentious figure was acheeeved at preciseleee '1:43 bells' this mornin' with a hit from somewhere in the UK? (thank you, orly bird!)  

A total of 99 countries have nuw viewed this website (plus MARS!) and this includes ower 1,100 hits from the USA!
Other countries who have reached the 'three figure mark, include: The Republic of Ireland (317)   Germany (240)  Greece (234) Holland (148) and Nigeria (105)

And a waam welcome to some of wor more recent visitors
"Hello! The Philippines!"---"Hello! Lebanon!" ---"Hello! The Isle of Man!"

Tuesday 28 June 2011

LIVE GAMES ON SKY 2011-2012

Updated '9:15 am bells' Thorsday 30th June 2011

Rumour? had it that Sky would annoonce their forst 'roond' of live games on the Wednesday 29th June.
This haz proooved to be untrue, but we will let yiz naa The Toon's live games as soon as we find oot!

Ne doubt that a canny few of wor orly games will be changed for the benefit of the couch spuds and pub plonkies (but definatly NOT! for the benefit of the actual NUFC Toonhoppers!) 
Az usual 'The Geordie Times' will bring you the news, second hand, forst!

TAYLOR BID TORNED DOON

Posted '8;45 am bells' Tuesday 28th June 2011

A million poond bid for Swansea full back Neil Taylor has been rejected the Geordie Times understands----we thinx that a higher bid will be forthcomin' in the not tooo distant future---will keep yooo posted on any future developments!

Thursday 23 June 2011

THE AALL BLACKS!

Posted ' 1:30 pm bells' Thorsday 23rd June 2011

The offishilll launch of 'The Toons' new 'aall black' thord strip iz oot today. Az it iz virtually the same as wor horrendous new 'aall black with two white stripes' home strip?, it means that it winnit get tooo many 'outins' at away games this season, as wor 2nd strip, (due oot next month) iz, in complete contrast, a 'high viz' 'Orange number', which will ne doubt be used at Fulham, West Brom etc.

Wednesday 22 June 2011

CHRIS HUGHTON

Posted '3:00 pm bells' Wednesday 22nd June 2011

Chris Hughton who was unceremoniously sacked as Toon manager last December haz landed the Managers job at Bormingham City-----

"We wish him well!" 

Tuesday 21 June 2011

ARCHIVE UPDATES

Posted '2:10 pm bells' Tuesday 21st June 2011
THE WEST STAND AT ST JAMES' PARK---MANY MANY MOONS AGO!
(NOTE THE 'MODERN' 'JALOPY' PARKED IN THE FOREGROOND!)

Regular reeders will be aware that aa havvent done an 'archive match report' for a while.
This is because when mee computa 'crashed' a few weeks ago, everythin' had to be wiped clean to get rid of the viruses.
'Steev', who fixed it, put a new version of 'Office Word' onto mee computa which was different to wot aa had, but it wouldn't let me download the stories from mee 'memory sticks' or 'discs' (help!)

The solution!----he's gettin' some software to fix the problem and (hopefully!) aall be able to continue mee stories in the next few days
(az ever watch this space!)

Monday 20 June 2011

PRE SEASON FIXTURES---RUMOURED? HOME GAME

Posted '3:20 pm Bells' Monday 20th June 2011
ST JAMES' PARK---VIEW FROM THE LEAZES END
A rumoured home game against Italian 'Serie A' side Fiorentina a week before the Premier League season starts has 'surfaced' but ne confirmation has been forthcomin'.
The 'rumoured game'? is said to be scheduled for Saturday August 6th and if so, it will be wor one and anly pre season game @ St James'

If there any further developments on this, we'll let yi naa straight away!    

Sunday 19 June 2011

MILLWAALL v THE TOON 1978

Posted '10;20 am bells' Sunday 19th June 2011

Issue 4 of 'Mad Mick's' NUFC fanzine 'Black and White Daft' iz nuw oot and features mee Millwaall groond 'report' from that neva to be forgotten summers afternoon 33 years ago! (Er!---neva to be forgotten if yi aroond the fifty mark or beyond---that iz!)
Aalso included are other Toon fans 'expieriences' from that notorious day includin' press cuttins and photos.
It's on sale from 'The Back Page Shop' in St Andrews Street near Chinatoon and iz within easy 'hocklin distance' of St James' Park just up the road!

To order a copy just gan to the web address below for more info!----it's a great reeeed!
www.blackandwhitedaft.co.uk 
(P.S. mention 'The Geordie Times')

(To view mee Millwaall report click onto '045 The Den, Millwall'  thumbnail in the right hand side bar) (popular posts---all time)>>>>>

Friday 17 June 2011

LATEST TRANSFER NEWS

Updated '8:15 pm bells' Saturday 18th June 2011
News haz reached 'The Geordie Times' (nearleee two hours afta the event!) that Striker Denba Ba haz signed a 3 year deal with The Toon and comes on a free transfer from West Ham and will wear the number 19 shirt next season.---

We've aalso signed midfielder Sylvain Marveaux from French club Rennes on Saturday mornin' in a reported 5 year deal (some 10 hours late!)
That's!---three in!---one oot!
Remember wor motto: "We'll bring you the latest news !"--- second hand!--forst!"

Thursday 16 June 2011

"MEJOSEANDJONASNEXT!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 16th June 2011
Toon midfielder Joey Barton haz 'tweet-ed' that followin' Keven Nolan's departure to West Ham yesterday, he predicts/speculates? that he will be followed oot the exit door by Jose Enrique, Spiderman and himsel in the not tooo distant future!
Of Nolan he 'tweets': "Great player, leader, captain,  person and mostly a friend for life!"----"DEVESTATED to see him sold!"----"mejoseandjonasnext!"

'The Geordie Times' doesn't normally print 'speculation' aboot wot or wot isn't gannih happen next, but Barton's 'tweet' speaks 'volumes'!----
"Er!" next seasons fixtures oot tomorrow!"

Wednesday 15 June 2011

OH! NO! NO! NO! KEVIN NOLAN!

Posted '3:40 pm bells' Wednesday 15th June 2011

News reaches us that Kevin Nolan iz undergannin' a medical at West Ham az aa write this 'piece'
That's a bit of bad business a'm afraid for a player who from midfield scored 12 goals for us last season!---the alarm bells are startin' to ring!

TOP 20 NORTH EAST AVERAGE GATES 2010-2011

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 15th June 2011
ST. JAMES' PARK---HOME OF THE NORTH EAST'S
BEST SUPPORTED CLUB

Below is a list of the top 20 supported clubs in the north east of England. The stats cover the forst ten levels of the pyramid system from The Premier League (level 1) to The Northern League Division 2 (level 10)

'The Toon' are (of course!) the 'top dogs' once again in the attendance league and have been the best supported north east club for every season in the entire twenty forst century! (from season 2000-2001 when the capacity was increased to ower 52,000) (11 years in a row!)

Wembley F.A. Trophy winners 'Darlo' are wor best supported non league club and Wembley F.A. Vase 'hat-trick heros' Whitley Bay are the best supported Northern League club 'by a country mile'!

Top 20 north east clubs

1 THE TOON----------47,720 (Premier League)
2 SMB----------40,011 (Premier League)
3 The Smoggies----------16,259 (Championship)
4 The Monkey Hangers----------2,933 (League 1)
5 Darlo----------1,886 (Conference Premier)
6 The Heed----------753 (Conference Premier)
7 Whitley Bay----------450 (Northern League 1)
8 Blyth----------449 (Conference North)
9 Berwick----------378 (Scottish League 3)
10 Spennymoor----------280 (Northern League 1)
11 Bishop Auckland-------255 (Northern League 1)
12 Newton Aycliffe--------222 (Northern League 2)
13 Sooth Shields-----------207 (Northern League 1)
14 Ashington----------197 (Northern League 1)
15 Shildon----------165 (Northern League 1)
16 Consett----------150 (Northern League 1)
17 Dunston----------128 (Northern League 1)
18 Marske----------127(.74!) (Northern League 2)
19 Billingham Town127(.33!) (Northern League 1)
20 Durham----------125 (Evostik League 1 North)

Monday 13 June 2011

TWO MONTHS TO GAN!

Posted '3:45 pm bells' Monday 13th June 2011
It iz nuw exactlee two months to gan before the start of the new Premier League season on August 13th and mee hair iz nuw 'doon to the bare
scalp'! (severe withdrawal symptoms a'm afraid!)

The fixtures are oot this Friday!---watch this space!

Friday 10 June 2011

"CALL ME A 'CAB"---"AYE!"

Post Updated '6:45 pm bells' Friday 10th June 2011
French central defender Yohan Cabaye  landed at Toon Airport this mornin' for a medical and I have to tell yiz that he has COMPLETED  his transfer from Lille within the last hour for a reported fee of £4.5 million quid, which is great news for aall Toon fans worldwide!

He actually played for France yesterday when they defeated Poland 1-0 in a friendly International in Warsaw.


Divvint forget 'The Geordie Times' motto!---
"We'll bring you!, wor loyal readers!, the latest NUFC & Tyneside news---second hand---first!"



Posted '2:45 pm bells' Friday 10th June 2011

"OH!---aa nearly forgot aboot last neets 5.9 mile 'Blaydon Race' (posted some 19 hours after the event!)
Edwin Kipkorir from somewhere in Africa won the lads race and Justina Heslop from somewhere in Clapham, London, won the lasses race!"
(There were fower thoosand runners in total) 

Thursday 9 June 2011

THE BLAYDON RACES by GEORDIE RIDLEY

Posted '5:15 pm bells Thorsday 9th Joon 2011
(Two hours to gan to start of  'The Blaydon Race' 2011)
Next year is the 150 annivosory of Geordie Ridleys classic song and there's a brilliant website dedicated to that historic event
Gan to: www.blaydonraces150.co.uk

THE BLAYDON RACES

Aw went to Blaydon Races--
t'was on the ninth of Joon!
eighteen hundred and sixty two--
on a summers afternoon!
we took the bus from Balmbra's--
she was heavy laden!
away we went alang Collingwood Street--
that's on the road to Blaydon!

Chorus
Oh! mee lads! yi shud'iv seen us gannin!
passin' the folks alang the road!
just as they were stanin'!
aall the lads an' lasses there!
aall wi smilin' faces!
gannin alang the Scotswood Road!
to see The Blaydon Races!

We flew past Armstrong's factory--
an' up to The Robin Adair!
just gannin doon ti the railway bridge--
the bus wheel flew off there!
the lasses lost their crinolines off--
and veils that hid their faces!
an' aw got two black eyes an' a broken nose--
in gan ti Blaydon Races!

Chorus

And when we put the wheel back on--
away wi went agen!
DOCTOR GIBBS
but them that had their noses broke--they cam back ower yem!
some went to the dispensary--
and some to Doctor Gibbs'ss
and some to the infirmary--
to mend their broken ribs'ss!

Chorus

Noo when we got to Paradise--
thor wes bonny gern begun!
there wes fower and twenty on the bus--
man--hoo they danced and sung!
they called on me to sing a sang--
aw sung them Paddy Fagen!
aw danced a jig an' swung me twig--
the day aw went to Blaydon!

Chorus

We swung across the chain bridge--
reet into Blaydon toon!
the bellman he was callin' there--
they call him Jackie Broon!
aw saw him talkin' to sum cheps--
an' them he was persuadin'!
to gan an' see Geordie Ridley's show--
in the Mechanics Hall at Blaydon!

Chorus

Last vorse!
The rain it poor'd aw the day--
and myed the ground quite muddy!
Coffy Johnny had a white hat on--
they war shootin' "Whe stole the cuddy!"
there wes spice stalls and munkey shows---
an' aud wifes sellin' cider!
an' a chep wiv a hapenny roond aboot--
shootin' "Aw me lads, for riders!"

Geordie Ridley 1862

BLAYDON RACES 149th ANNIVORSARY TODAY!

Posted '12:30 pm bells' Thorsday 9th Joon 2011
"IT'S THE ONE AND ANLY GEORDIE RIDLEY!"-"HERO!---ICON!---LEGEND!"

Just who is wor 'mystery hero' who a'v been 'on aboot' for the last few days!?----WHEY!----IT'S!----NON OTHA THAN!----GEORDIE RIDLEY! the composer of the 'GEORDIE NATIONAL ANTHEM'----'THE BLAYDON RACES'  written by him on the 9th of Joon 1862, the day of the horse race

Geordie was born in 1835 in the street next to 'The William IV' boozer just off Gatesheed High Street 

'Doctor Gibbs' who I mentioned yesterday, mended 'the broken ribs's' of racegoers off to Blaydon, who'd been injured when the horse drawn bus they were in lost it's wheel and they aall fell oot!
DOCTOR GIBBS

Scotswood Road is the road where there used to be more than 50 drinkin' dens and is featured in the song---thus: "Gannin' alang the Scotswood Road to see The Blaydon Races!"

An annual road race teks place every year on this day and it starts at Balmbra's Music Haall (aalso mentioned in the song) toneet 
@ 'SEVEN FIFTEEN BELLS'!
From there it gans alang Collingwood Street towards Scotswood Road and then ower The Scotswood Bridge into Blaydon toon for the finish!----Give them a cheer if you are on route!

Words of the song and much more to follow later!

Wednesday 8 June 2011

A THOOSAND 'YANK'YOOS!

Posted '10:10 pm bells' Wednesday 8th June 2011
BUFFALO BILL

We've just had wor 1,000th 'hit' from the U S of A and aa have to say that this is brilliant news!----Who says wor American cousins divvint like futbaall when so many have logged onto this site???

A'm asumin' that quite a few are in fact UK exiles but many many more will be Americans born and bred!--
BOB DYLAN

 Which begs the question?---If USA based readers can understand the 'written' Geordie lingo, then how come they cannit understand Cheryl 'wots hor name'?
WILD BILL HICKOK

THE BEACH BOYS
"Hello! Buffalo Bill!"----"Hello! Bob Dylan!"----"Hello! 
Wild Bill Hickok!"----"Hello! The Beach Boys!"

A MESSAGE TO THE JARROW CRUSADER'

Posted '3:30 pm bells' Wednesday 8th June 2011
"AAAAH!---IT'S'THE GEORDIE TIMES ONLINE'!"



 A message  to
'The Jarrow Crusader' and aall the utha loyal readers  who view this site on their mobile 'tellin bones'.

'The Geordie Times' is now (hopefully!?) 'mobile friendleee'! and yi can view it quite easily withoot havin' to scroll alang and doon aall the time! (fingers & toes crossed!)

A GEORDIE LEGEND!

Posted '9:30 am bells' Wednesday 8th June 2011

A GEORDIE LEGEND!----BUT WHO IS HE???

Clue: He wrote a very famous song which featured a road that once had ower 50 pubs alang it's route!
 One of the characters in his song is pictured below
DOCTOR GIBBS

"AALL WILL BE REVEALED TOMORROW!"




Tuesday 7 June 2011

A GEORDIE ICON!

Posted '6:55 am bells' Tuesday 7th June 2011
A GEORDIE ICON!---BUT WHO IS HE??

Clue: He was born in the street next to   
this 'liquid lubrication location'!

"AALL WILL BE REVEALED ON THORSDAY!!"

Monday 6 June 2011

THE LONE RANGER TO RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET?

Posted ' high noon bells' Monday 5th June 2011
"AND A HEARTY HI HO SILVER!"
News reaches 'The Geordie Times' that England 'U20' striker Nile 'Lone' Ranger has been telt by NUFC to find a new club despite (aledgedlee!) signin' a five year deal last December!

Kevin Nolan, meanwhile is reportedly feelin' 'let doon' by NUFC after new contract negotiations have (again aledgedlee!) been scrapped!

We'll let yi naa of any news on 'the transfer front'  and you can be sure that you will read it here 'second hand', first! (we de tend to be a bit behind sometimes!)

A GEORDIE HERO!

Posted '9:20 am bells' Monday 6th June 2011
A GEORDIE HERO!----BUT WHO IS HE?
Clue: He was born in 1835! 

"AALL WILL BE REVEALED ON THORSDAY!"

Saturday 4 June 2011

TOP 20 WORLD AVERAGE GATES 2010-2011

Posted '2:10pm bells' Saturday 4th June 2011
NUFC are the 14th best supported club in the world ---View of 'The Gallowgate End' from behind 'The Strawberry' boozer (spot the 'Toon' crest!)

Borussia Dortmund have lost their 'title' of worlds best supported club by just 51 fans to Barcelona, who just happen to be the best futball club in the world as well!
'The Toon' move doon one place despite wor average gates gannin up?

As European clubs are by far and away the best supported in the world the 'top 20' are aall from that continent.

1 Barca**********79,192
2 B Dortmund**********79,141
3 Man U**********75,109
4 Real Madrid**********69,737
5 B Munich**********69,000
6 Schalke 04**********61,401
7 The Arse**********60,023
8 Inter Milan**********55,813
9 Hamborg**********54,447
10 AC Milan**********53,922
11 Marseille**********51,086
12 Celtic**********48,968
13 Koln**********47,800
14 THE TOON**********47,718
15 E Frankfurt**********47,359
16 Ajax**********47,316
17 Kaiserslauten**********46,339
18 Man C**********45,942
19 Napoli**********45,608
20 Rangers**********45,305

The Jawmans have the most clubs in the top 20 with 7, followed by England on 4

Jawmany**********7
England**********4
Italy**********3
Scotland**********2
Spain**********2
France**********1
Holland**********1






'Click on' top right hand heeder bar for the final averages in The Premier League for the season just ended 

Friday 3 June 2011

MICHAE£ THE MOANER

Posted '3:40 bells' Friday 3rd June 2011
So 'MOANIN' MICHAE£' haz said on hiz twitter page that he didn't enjoy his time at 'The Toon'££££? 
"NEETHA DID WE MATE!"---"NEETHA DID WE!"
"HA!-HA!-"IT'S ALL MINE YOU DAFT GEORDIE TW*TS!"
"££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££!"

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